Sitting up slowly, Carly swallowed the lump in her throat and fought down her gag reflexes. Everything was hazy and all she could think about was the constant pounding making it's way through all of her head. Glancing down, she realized she still had clothes on, even though they weren't her own but she was pretty much covered from head to toe. Glancing to the left of her, she could make out the outline of a male form and one thing clicked into place. That definitely was not JC. Guilt burned her throat as little flashes of last night came flashing back. She remembered going to Gavin's release party. She remembered being upset that she was alone on her birthday and going to the bar after words with Gavin and vaguely speaking to JC. How she had got to this point was beyond her.

Choking back the sob, she failed miserably and quietly slipped from the bed walking aimlessly in search of the bathroom. Once she made in inside and closed the door, her body seemed to roboticaly put the seat on the toilet seat down before she fell upon in, burying her face in her hands letting the first bought of tears consume her. Standing up, Carly looked in the mirror, cringing at her reflexion, not having a clue who was staring back at her. How the hell had this happened? She instantly felt guilty, letting her emotions get the best of her and trying to sooth it over with alcohol. Every reason she had chosen not to drink had come flooding back and if she were to be honest to herself, being in this situation shouldn't have been a surprise.

She pulled her hair from her face, trying to control it from sleep and whatever else it had been through. Turning on the sink, she found a washcloth and cooled her cheeks and tried to fix her smudged makeup. It wasn't long before the tap on the bathroom door startled her. Turning around, she saw Gavin peak his head in.

"Carly, you okay?" He asked sleepily.

She turned around, her eyes a washed with tears, causing him to step through the door. Carly swallowed, noting he was still shirtless, clad in only a pair of boxer shorts.

Standing in front of her, she could smell the faint smell of his cologne from last night as he cupped her shoulder in his hand, soothing the skin he found there. "Hey, I asked if you're alright? Are you going to be sick again?"

She groaned. "Is that why I feel like shit?"

Gavin gave her a half smile. "I'd say so. Last night was a little rough for you."

She took a seat on the lid of the toilet again. "What.. I mean, did we.. what happened?" she stuttered out.

"Nothing."

Carly looked up at him confused. "Nothing?"

He scratched the back of his neck. "Are you asking if we had sex, Carly?" She looked around, not meeting his gaze but he knew exactly what she was asking. "No we didn't. I'm pretty sure I respect my friends a little more than to take advantage of them in their drunken state, let alone when they're taken."

She bit her lip, not expecting his reply. "Oh..."

"Oh? Are you really surprised, Carly? I thought you knew me better than that." Gavin said, his voice showing a bit of hurt.

"No-it's not that!" Carly was quick to defend herself. "I'm just so confused about all of this. Shit, this is why I don't drink. This is all a big mess."

"Hey.. come on." He said, kneeling down in front of her and taking one of her hands in his. "You had a rough night. You were upset. It happens.. no big deal."

"JC." she whispered.

"I'm sure things with him will be fine, babe. He had to know you were hurting."

"He knew?"

Gavin continued to run soothing patterns against the inside of her wrist. "Yeah. He called last night during your drinking fest. I think he was pretty worried."

"Shit."

"Like I said, try not to stress over this. You drank, I got us a cab and took you home. No way I was going to leave you alone after you'd been drinking that much."

Carly pulled her hands away, running them over her haggard face. "You shouldn't have had to take care of me dammit. Was I horrible?"

Gavin laughed. "No you weren't. You got sick once right when we got home and that was it. The reason you woke up in my bed was because I wanted to keep an eye on you in case you got sick again. Nothing more too it."

She looked at him a little surprised. "You're a good guy Gavin. Thank you."

He gave her a sunny smile. "We're friends Carly. I love ya to death. I hope you know that."

She wiped at her eyes, sighing deeply. "I do now."

He cuffed her under her chin. "Gee, thanks."

Despite her mood, she gave him a small smile. "Forgive me. I feel like crap, I look like shit and my boyfriend probably hates me right now."

Standing, he held out a hand to her and waited until she accepted it, pulling her up along with him, kissing her on the forehead. "Forgiven, I'll get you some Advil, you don't look like shit and I highly doubt the last thing."

Following him out of the bathroom, Carly went to find her purse, in hot pursuit of her phone. "When did you get so amazing?" She asked.

Pulling on a t-shirt, Gavin flashed her a smile. "I've always been amazing. You just never took the time to look."

Suddenly she felt bad by his confession. Most of their time together had been spent working and once she thought she could see Gavin as a long time friend, he'd gone and kissed her causing a whirlwind of problems for her and JC, most of which were not his fault to begin with. "You're right. I'm really sorry." She said as she walked over to him, standing face to face. Taking a moment, she took in his features, his days growth of facial hair dusted over his cheeks, where his long eye lashes fanned over his green eyes. His lips were a little on the pouty side but not enough to take away from his masculine features and their light pink color was just enough to--

"Carly?" Gavin asked, laughing as he waved a hand in front of her.

"What?" She shook her head, gathering her thoughts.

"You alright there? You zoned out of me."

"I um-- yeah. I'm fine. I just--I realized I didn't give you the credit you deserved all the time." She stammered, wrapping her arms around his waist.

Gavin looked down at the brown hair resting beneath his chin and was taken aback for a second but quickly accepted it graciously. They stood like that, as time ticked by and neither of them knew how long. Carly smiled, feeling his heart beat against her cheek. She had missed this, feeling close to someone, feeling loved, cherished, if only it was temporary. Mentally cursing, she realized how falling in love with JC had changed her outlook on everything and how love had once again seemed to get the best of her. The only thing that clicked in her mind was the man she was hugging was indeed not JC. Doing her best, she tried to clear her head as she pulled away replacing it with a smile.

"You're too much, Carly Piper." he said, tapping her nose quickly. How about some breakfast? You think you can keep anything down?"

"Ugh no food. Never again. The room finally stopped spinning like twenty minutes ago."

Gavin laughed, making his way out of the bedroom. "Maybe next time you'll learn that alcohol is not the way to deal with your problems."

"Yeah yeah. Trust me captain obvious, I'm very aware."

****

Carly stepped out of the car, grinning when she looked back before taking the steps two at a time until she reached the door to JC's house. After a long conversation with Gavin, she had come to the terms that she had fallen so deep into this thing with JC that she didn't even realize who she was anymore. They had taken things slow, were friends first and for a long time before she allowed herself to feel anything more for him, and now it was almost hard to dictate where they had began. She knew she loved him, more than she had ever loved anyone before but nothing about her relationship with JC rated close to normal. He was always here, and she was always there and Carly wasn't sure how much longer it could go on. She felt a little guilty about last night, realizing in her drunken state that he had called, and had been worried sick about her and all she had done was acted like a bitch.

She knew she wasn't like other girls, having built up a wall early on in life and knowing it had come in handy when she had met JC. She wasn't the Hollywood type, never was and never had any intentions to be but her music had brought her here and they had crossed paths and that she couldn't look back on it and regret.

Still, in the end she was hurting. She was in the music industry, not as deep as it was for JC but she knew how it all went. How time consuming it could be and how much it down right sucked but for some reason that excuse didn't bode well with her that she had spent her first birthday together with him alone. Yes, she was being selfish but Carly felt she had the right. He had little by little broken down her walls, proved time and time again that he was in this for the two of them, for the love he had for her and the one time she had expected it, it hadn't happened. Hopefully the emptying feeling would subside.

Unlocking the door, she quickly punched in the security code and tossed her purse on the kitchen counter. Going to the fridge, she retrieved a bottle of water and drank it graciously as it soothed her mouth, void of any moisture. Her head was still pounding but she didn't even care anymore. Her only goal was to crawl into bed and sleep the day away.

Kicking off her heels, she sighed in relief and continued to walk through the house but when she reached the living room, her walking came to a halt.

"JC..." her voice came out in a surprise whisper. Oh shit. This couldn't be good. He looked haggard if the dark circles under his eyes were any giveaway. His eyes were almost a deep blue color and if she did a run down in her mind, she had only seem them that way less than a handful of times and they were all when he was mad. Really mad.

He stood there, arms crossed, clad in baggy jeans, the style Carly loved most on him and a tight white t-shirt. "Where have you been?"

She took a deep breath. "I was out."

"All night?" His voice was held a bit of an edge to it.

Instantly she became annoyed. "Yeah. I told you where I was last night."

JC ran a hand over his face, lack of sleep evident all over his face. "Yeah. I seemed to remember our phone conversation."

Carly looked down, anywhere but JC's eyes. Gavin had refreshed her memory of that and according to him, she wasn't the most polite to him. "Yeah... "

He took a step forward, but didn't get to close to her. He wanted to touch her, to hug her and revel in the fact that they were together after he'd been gone like they always did. Somehow this didn't seem like the same situation. If JC was feeling anything, it was distance, almost like she wasn't telling him something but still he had to know. "Are you alright, Carly?"

She looked up, surprised by his compassion. He looked ready to bust something but through all of that came the man she loved. Still, she wasn't caving that easily.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

His hand went to reach out to her, but was quickly pulled back. "I um-- good."

"What are you doing here?"

He looked at her like she was crazy. "Last time I checked I like here." JC spat.

Carly rolled her eyes. "You know what I meant."

Silence ticked by but she never let her eyes leave his, demanding an answer. "I was worried about you."

Her first reaction caused a small tickle in her heart but was quickly masked. "I'm a big girl, JC."

"You drank didn't you?" He asked it as a question but already knew the answer.

"Yeah, so what? Last time I checked I was over twenty-one."

He took another step closer and this time didn't step back. "What for Carly? You and I both know that you don't drink."

She didn't move, frozen where she was, trying to predict his next move. Even in the middle of itching for a fight, Carly still found herself wanting his touch.

Her voice was shaky, and barely above a whisper. "I didn't feel like being alone."

JC looked at her, his eyes still cold and a fierce shade of blue. It seemed to almost happen in slow motion but his hand reached out, cupping the side of her face in his hand, thumb brushing over her cheek. "I'm sorry Carly. I wanted to be here. You have to know that."

Carly couldn't move, but that didn't prevent the shivers that shot through her body. Dammit. "Yeah..." She didn't trust herself to say anything more.

He allowed himself to step a little closer, his hand moving down her neck, fingers tracing the skin he found there before the other moved to the opposite side to her hip and he brought his body against hers in a hug. The breath he let out was unsteady. With his lips right against her ear, knowing exactly what it did to Carly, JC chose right then to speak next. "I'm sorry I missed your birthday, Carly."

It didn't take long for some of her anger to dissipate. She swallowed thickly, becoming a victim to the masculine scent of him. "I know."

"I wanted to be here with you so bad. I wanted to take you out. Be the one you went to bed with." His lips flickered across her ear, causing her to gasp. "I wanted to be the one you woke up with."

Carly shuttered, almost too caught up in his touch to distinguish that he was almost accusing her of something but still she read between the lines. She had nothing to hide.

"I wanted that too."

"But I wasn't was I?" he asked, awaiting her answer.

"No." Her answer was a simple statement neither giving away information nor keeping it.

"Who did you wake up with, Carly?" He whispered.

Her eyes flickered open, looking up into his now boring down at her. She could tell he wanted answers. Carly took a step back turning her back to him.

"Not you." was all she could say.

"Is that why you smell like another man?" He asked casually.

Not feeling the need to defend herself, she quickly cooled and shook her head. "JC, you can just stop it right now. I did nothing wrong."

"Then tell me where you were last night, Carly? Tell me why you hung up on me when I called you. Tell me why you had me so fucking worried about you, that I got on the first damn plane to come back to L.A. just to make sure you were alright. Tell me why I called you a hundred times and you never once picked up your phone, letting me sit here worry all damn night."

She stared at him, wide eyed and a little surprised by his anger. She knew he was tired, that work and being away had been hard on him but never suspected she would get the brute of his anger. "I was--."

Carly was about to explain herself, though she felt no obligation to when there was a knock on the front door by the kitchen, and then she heard someone calling out. "Carly, you in here?"

Shit.

She turned on her heels, quickly walking into the kitchen to see Gavin standing here, her phone in his hand. "Sorry to barge in. You left your phone in my car. I got down the street and the thing started beeping like crazy."

Taking the phone from his grasp, she gave him a small smile. "Thanks."

He looked at her, studying her for a second, taking in her uneasy form. "Hey, you alright?"

Carly nodded, without trying to give too much away but before she could say anything, JC stood in the entry way of the kitchen, eyes a nice shade of dark blue once again, jaw clenched tight. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just talking to JC." She stated simply.

Gavin took a second, looking back at JC and nodding kindly, only to receive a tight nod back and suddenly felt way out of place. "Okay, I guess I'll talk to you later. Call me if you need anything." He said, looking from her to JC, letting him know that if Carly needed him, he'd be there in a second, regardless of the situation.

"Thanks. I will." She watched him walk out the door. When he was gone, the silence seemed to tick by and Carly was counting the seconds before shit hit the fan.

Carly could almost predict JC's jealous rage about to come out once again. After all, they'd been in this position before, Gavin included. She knew how JC felt about him and doubted he was going to change his ways at this point. Shockingly, his voice came out soft, no anger in it.

"Did you stay with Gavin last night?"

She had nothing to hide, she told herself. "Yes, I did, JC. I was drunk off my ass. He wasn't going to let me go home by myself."

He looked a little surprised by her statement. "Oh.."

"Yeah 'oh'. And before you ask and get all asshole and macho like, no I didn't sleep with him. I'm not fucking stupid."

"Carly! I never said--."

Suddenly pissed off, she interrupted him. "No, you didn't say anything-yet but it I know it's what your thinking. You probably think I got drunk and slept with him. It's written all over your face, JC. Regardless of the past, Gavin is a good friend of mine and he's a good guy. We decided to go out and once he found out it was my birthday, he didn't think I needed to be alone so me being upset about you being away, I decided to say 'the hell with it' and forget about all the shit I was feeling. Yes, I broke my 'good girl' code and I drank. I wanted to forget everything, okay? I don't think I committed any kind of crime here."

He stood there wide eyed. "Why'd you have to go home with him?"

Throwing her hands in the air, she continued on her rant. "I was drunk. He wanted to keep an eye on me. Would you have preferred I come back home, by myself--possibly puking my guts out with no one here?"

"No."

"Then theres your answer. Yes, we slept in the same bed, with clothes on so he could keep an eye on me. According to him, I don't tolerate my liquor very well."

She watched the emotions run across his face and for once couldn't read them. "I know you'd never sleep with him."

She was a little surprised. "You do?"

"I'd like to think I know you better than that. We've been here before, Carly."

Crossing her arms over her chest, she tipped her chin up, standing her guard. She was not about to let him win this. "Yeah we have. I don't know what your so pissed off about."

He shook his head. "Oh I don't know? Maybe its the fact that I feel like a jackass that because I couldn't be here for your birthday, you found the need to go get drunk. I'm sorry I can't be here when you need me all the time, Carly. You're in this business too. You know how it goes."

He was blaming her careless drunken night on himself. Fabulous. It didn't feel as good as she thought it would to have him feel guilty. Her eyes began to sting. Shit, she was not about to cry.

"I know that. It was stupid of me to think this would be any different."

He shifted his feet, stepping further into the kitchen, looking at the ground before his head snapped back up, eyes directly on hers. "What's that suppose to mean?"

Carly mentally cursed, feeling the hot tears spilling softly down her cheeks. "Nothing. It means nothing, JC." She said, as she went to move past him but he stopped her.

"Tell me."

"I just thought this would be different. I don't want to fight. Just forget about it."

Finally moving past him, it almost killed her to see the look on his face when he noticed she had began to cry. "Carly, tell me..." he asked, watching her fish around the bedroom for something clean to wear.

"I'm done fighting, JC."

He took a step closer, urging her to look at him. "I want to know."

Her eyes were red, burnt with anger and it took her a second to see his very similar. "I just expected you to somehow come back home. I really needed you."

"Dammit, Carly. I said I was sorry."

She pulled away from his grasp, before she could melt into his touch any more. It'd be so easy to forget about everything, to give into him and end up tangled in sheets in give minutes flat, still her pride got the best of her. "I know you are JC. I just think I need to go home for a while."

His face fell from hurt to anger. "This is your home, Carly."

"Then I think we just need some space."

His anger finally came to the surface. "What the hell, Carly? I've been in fucking New York for almost a month now. I think we've had plenty of space."

"Than I think I just need time to think about things."

"What is there to think about? Does this have anything to do with Gavin because all of this is coming from left field for me. I said I was sorry."

She laughed, sarcasm dripping from her. "Gavin didn't do a thing, JC."

He scoffed, crossing his arms again. "So this is all my fault? What the hell do you want from me? I asked you to move in here."

Choking on her sob, Carly said nothing but moved to sit on the side of the bed before throwing herself down. Everything seemed to be falling apart.

She wasn't surprised to find JC looking back at her, keeping his distance between them on the bed.

"Baby, what's going on here? I'm so confused right now."

"So am I, JC. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm just feeling so much right now. I just think I need to go home for a while. Get a grasp on things, spend some time with my family."

"We can't work things out if you're away from me."

She shook her head. "I'm sure you've got to get back to New York."

His face was firm. "I'll call them and tell them to axe this whole thing. Say the word."

"I'd never ask you to give up something because of me."

At that moment, JC didn't care about anger or emotions. He just needed to touch her. Reaching out, his hand cupped her cheek again, making her look at him.

"I'd do it for you, Carly. You mean the world to me."

She tried to smile. "You're a good man, Chasez."

His face fell. "Apparently just the worlds shittiest boyfriend."

Her hand covered his on her cheek. "Stop it." She smiled her face awash with new tears and suddenly she forgot why she was leaving. It didn't take long before she remembered he'd be gone again and the work he was doing now would quickly turn into promoting to TV appearances to touring. It wasn't just a quick fix. "I think we need this."

"And for what exactly?" JC was still so confused.

"So maybe you can do your thing and I can figure out what I want. Maybe I'm homesick. I don't know anymore."

JC took a deep breath, his finger tips running up and down her arm. "This isn't how I pictured this."

"Pictured what?"

"Coming home." He stated, disappointment written all over his face.

"How was all of this suppose to go?"

"Well.." He said, scooting closer, watching for any sign of her objecting. When none came, he continued. "I pictured you people a little more surprised to see me for one thing."

"I could see the steam already coming out of your ears, Chasez."

JC shrugged. "I was worried more than anything."

Carly felt a little guilty if she were honest to herself. "Okay, moving on."

He laughed a little, tangling his hands in her hair. "I thought we'd be so happy to see each other that we'd have our typical 'welcome home' sex."

She couldn't prevent the smile and laugh that escaped her lips, no matter how hard she tried. "Welcome home sex, huh?" At his nod, she brought her forehead against his.

"You seem a little sure of yourself."

He smiled, his hand coming up to lace their fingers together. How had they ended up here? Weren't they just fighting like ten minutes ago, JC asked himself. "I'm not sure of anything with you anymore, Carly Ann."

Her eyes dropped, feeling guilty. "I know. I'm sorry."

He shook his head, coming closer. "I was sure I'd have gotten a kiss by now but that hasn't happened."

"You still want one, even after all this?"

JC pretended to think. "I'm pretty sure it's all I've thought about since the day I left and it'd take a little more than an argument like the one we just had to not want to kiss you, Carly."

"Even if I leave?"

His brows came together in thought and Carly couldn't remember exactly why she wanted to leave. He looked so serious, so sure, so gorgeous.

"I'll need something to hold me over."

He pretended to think for a second, before her focus seemed to land on his lips. This wasn't how a fight was suppose to go but still at this second, it was the only thing on her mind.

"Well if you're going to put it that way.."

Her chin tipped up, just enough to meet his lips with hers in a soft brush. She kept it slow, almost teasing but JC quickly let her know it wasn't enough. He took control, pushing further into her, lips lingering longer before even that wasn't enough. His tongue teased the seam of her lips, asking permission and was easily granted access. He wanted to taste all of her, making up for lost time and the time they'd be apart in the future. Their love was never assured and always seemed to pan out in crazy ways, but still regardless of a promise of tomorrow, he wanted her now for the taking.

JC was pleased to see Carly fall into the kiss just as much as he did, her tongue teasing and tasting with his. When it wasn't enough, she graciously accepted the hard weight of him against her as he rolled them over and came on top. His finger tips found the sensitive skin under her shirt, easily bunching it up to expose more, the further he went. As her hands tangled in his hair, JC had to pull away for a second, gasping for air. He was once again reminded that her kisses always got the best of him.

"Mmm, I've missed this."

Carly looked up at him through hazy eyes. "Me too."

She was a little more than surprised at what he said next, his voice hard and sure. "Don't go."

"Jayce..."

"I'm serious, Carly. Don't go. Come to New York with me. We'll work everything out."

She looked away from him, her eyes burning with tears. For some reason, her decision hadn't changed. "I need to do this, Jayce."

His head came down to rest against her chest, body still resting astride hers. "Then go. Just know that I love the hell out of you, Carly Piper."

She sniffled, no longer able to hold back her emotions. They seemed to be up and down, high and low and she still couldn't figure out why. Choosing not to try and figure it out right now, she allowed herself to tell him the one thing she was sure she did know. "I love the hell out of you, Joshua Chasez."

He looked up, smiling fondly at her. "I love it when you call me that."

"Good."

JC allowed himself to savor Carly's warm skin against his, feeling a whole mix of emotions. Suddenly, he chuckled to himself quietly.

"What?"

"I was just thinking... and don't slap me." He stated.

"Okay, deal." Carly continued to run her hand up and down JC's back.

"We could totally kill three birds with one stone right now. Welcome home, make up, and goodbye sex."

Carly couldn't not laugh, despite the tears that laid against her cheeks. "Somebody needs some lovin'."

He pretended to whine. "I'm sorry, babe. It's been a long time."

"That's why god gave you a hand."

JC's eyes went wide. "Carly!" He was honestly shocked. "I don't do that!" And her scoff and laugh, he finally let the truth free. "Besides, it's not the same."

She smiled up at him, reaching for his ears before gently pulling his face down so his lips could meet hers. "It's okay. I want you too."

Her heart skipped at the look that shown in his eyes. This was only going to add fuel to the fire but still, she wasn't going to deny her body the feel of him, especially if it was going to be the last time. Who knew what would happen once she went back home. Her priorities had seemed to change the second JC left for New York. Not because of him but in thanks to him.

"Yeah?"

"Mmmhmm. Less talking, more welcome home, make up, goodbye sex, please."

He pulled away to look at her seriously. "Not goodbye, Carly."

Choosing not to justify or confirm his comment, she shook her head, reaching for his lips once again. From there on out, clothes seemed to slip from bodies where lips became reacquainted with skin, causing the same shivers, goosebumps and feelings to one another. Nothing but the sounds of whimpers and cries were heard from the bedroom and that was before the love making had even began. When JC finally came to her, holding still to savor the feeling, Carly arched against him, wanting to feel as much of him as she could, hoping to imprint the memory, the taste and feel of him for the days she'd be without it. When it was all said and done, they lay together, tangled up in sheets, breathing slowly becoming normal and though they were both feeling the wondrous high that came from love making, it still didn't prevent the nagging feeling that sat in both JC and Carly's hearts.

What was going to happen once they both left?