Tossing her keys on their usual place on the kitchen counter, Carly stepped into her loft and slowly glanced around. It seemed like forever since she'd be there, since she'd had a sense of this home. Setting her things down, she went to the one place that always seemed to cheer her up no matter what. Stepping foot out onto the balcony, she was once again met with a view only Chicago provided for her. It was just becoming dusk and the faint signs of city lights had began to skitter across the buildings that stood out in front of her. Down below, the streets still held the same noises of sirens and speeding cars as the lights and colors of everything meshed together as they blurred by. For some reason, this one spot, one view but her at ease.

Taking a seat in a chair, she kicked her feet up on the railing in front of her and hoped all of her problems would go away. It already felt colder since she'd been home and she found herself wondering why she'd give up the temperature of California to come home to a chilling and windy Chicago. After a few moments, her mind seemed to scan over everything so quickly that it was almost too hard to grasp but Carly knew. She needed time to think, time to evaluate everything in her life right now but in the end it all boiled down to the simple phrase of everyone in her life. It was almost too hard to think of her life without JC in it but with the recent past few months, those thoughts had become cluttered and more complicated. It seemed when they had hit a bump, something came to smooth it over but it wasn't long before they'd hit another bump again so soon. She could only ask herself how many it'd take before she'd eventually crash.

Inhaling deeply, Carly didn't even try to prevent the goosebumps that formed on her skin. It was freezing outside and she wasn't entirely dressed for the temperature for for some reason, it didn't matter to her. Her flight had been long and emotionally draining. Several times throughout the flight, she had contemplated and second guessed everything, almost wanting to get on the first flight back to Los Angles but deep down, she knew she couldn't. She was excited to see her family, her sister and niece the most and maybe just put things in perceptive. It nearly killed her in the morning when she woke with JC meshed against her backside, holding her close. Once he awoke with sleepy, pleading eyes, it was almost too much for her to take. She had a mental war with herself, wanting to forget about everything that had been bothering her, to tell him to forget about his musical career and stay there with her but she knew better. It just wasn't in her blood. Instead, she had kissed his forehead before slipping from bed and quietly packed her suitcase. It ripped her heart to shreds to see the confused, heartbroken look on his face but she had touched her fingers to her lips, then his, tipped his chin up and turned to leave the house. Lucky for Carly, JC didn't see the tears that slid down her cheeks once she had closed the front door to his house.

Remembering was far too fresh and raw on her heart so Carly tried to shake her mind of the thoughts as she stood to walk back into her loft. She was itching to see her family but something told her she needed this time alone to think and perhaps sort things out. She'd see her family soon enough. Deciding to call it a night, she grabbed her bag and climbed the stairs to her bedroom before changing quickly and crawling into bed. It didn't feel the same without the weight of a certain man pressed tightly against her and no matter how many blankets she put over her, she still felt cold. The only thing that seemed to get Carly to finally close her eyes was the faint scent of JC left on his t-shirt she had accidentally packed and decided to wear as a sleep shirt. Holding on to what she could, she tried to stop the tears that were beginning to form in the corers or her eyes. At that moment, Carly temporarily forgot what it was she was she needed to sort out.

***

"JC, you missed the higher pitch back there. You wanna try again?" Matt called through the intercom, leading into the sound booth.

JC rolled his eyes. "Whatever man."

Matt started the track over again as JC cleared his throat and began to sing again.

Stopping the music, now annoyed, Matt looked at him once again. "You did it again. What's going on with you today?"

Dark circles could been seen under his normally blue eyes. "What the hell do you think is wrong with me, you idiot?"

Matt was taken aback by JC's attitude. It'd been rare for the man, even in times of stress to ever be rude to anyone.

"Uh, I take it the visit home didn't go well?"

JC couldn't speak. He only ran a hand through his hair. Matt could tell by the vein protruding across the top of his forehead that he shouldn't press the issue.

"We've got deadlines, JC." Matt said, the business side of him coming out.

JC could feel his nerves about to snap. Deadlines were the last things on his mind at the moment. "Dammit Matt, I know about the damn deadlines."

He looked back at JC, somewhat shocked. They used to be friends but it seemed that each day they worked on this project, their friendship was pushed further and further away.

"You know what? Why don't you go take a break and when your ready to come back and stop being a big jackass, you do just that."

Grumbling, JC threw down the headphones and quickly left the room. He was not in the mood. Leaving Carly the previous morning was still freshly weighing down his heart. Waking up with her in his arms and then watching her walk away like it was no big deal nearly killed him. He'd known her long enough to tell her thoughts and what he saw in her eyes before she walked out the door had him on edge. She was confused, hurt, broken, and he knew a lot of it, if not all of it was his fault.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, JC quickly grabbed a cab and went back to his hotel. He needed to clear his head. Throwing himself down lamely on the couch, JC traced over the buttons on his cell phone. He thought for a moment, wanting to hit the one button that would possibly connect him with Carly but he decided against it. She needed time and he told her he'd give it to her. Little did she know, every second that went by was killing him more and more.

Instead, he decided to dial the one other person that always seemed to have a way of putting things in perspective. His brother.

***
"So you came home because you're confused?" Kassidy asked her sister.

Carly looked back at her, ready to snap. "Confused is putting it lightly. I can leave if I'm being an inconvenience."

Kassidy laughed. "Oh stop it miss cranky pants. I'm glad you're home. I just wish it were under better circumstances."

"Me too. Trust me."

Sitting down beside her, Kassidy patted her sisters leg. "So tell me what happened?"

Sighing, Carly began to speak. "I don't know. It's hard to recognize my life anymore. I'm always here or there working. Jace has started this music thing and has been in New York or wherever, doing it all and but I don't think it's the same for him anymore. He's always unhappy, wanting to come home but I keep pushing. And at the same time, I find myself having these selfish moments. We've hit a few bumps but then things seem to get amazing, like really amazing." She said, smiling at Kassidy. "Then it seems like we're back at a bump again. I keep picturing my life always being like this. The back and forth thing and I don't want it to be like that."

"Life always has a way of settling down you know."

"I know that Kass. But it's like I don't know where we're going. If one of us is always moving here or there for work, who knows when we'll meet in the middle for good, you know? Then there was this thing with my birthday.."

"What thing?"

"He was in New York and I really thought he'd show up. That'd he'd be there for me somehow. God Kass, i'd never missed someone in my whole like the way I missed him that day."

"So what happened?"

Carly shifted, tucking her hair behind her ears. "You remember the artist I was working with in London?"

Kassidy nodded, her face paling. "Oh god, please tell me you didn't cheat on JC."

Her eyes went wide. "Geeze Kassidy! No I didn't cheat on him. He was having a release party for his album and I went to that instead and we just--hung out."

Cassidy looked confused. "Hung out?"

"Yeah. We caught up and stuff then went out to a bar and well-I got kind of drunk. Gavin took me home and I woke up with him.... And NO dear god, I didn't sleep with him." Carly defended at her sisters eyes bugging out of her head.

"I don't like where this is going."

"Well tough. I woke up with him, was hung over as all get out. Felt guilty, like shit and I guess JC had called me in my drunken state and I wasn't the friendliest. I guess I shook him up pretty good because he was home when I got there."

"He flew home from NYC just to check on you?"

"Yeah. But through all of it, the only thing running through my mind was the fact that he wasn't there when I wanted him to be. Like not selfishly. I physically needed to be close to him. It's not like me to get attached or get all emotional but I was. I was hurt and I hated his career for the first time. Gavin was there, would have been more than willing to have given me what I wanted but he didn't. He knew I was upset and vulnerable."

Cassidy tried to process everything. "You're in love with him, Carly Ann."

"I know that Kassidy."

"Can you see a future with him?"

Carly nodded. "He asked me to move in with him."

Her sister threw her hands in the air. "So what's the problem?"

Letting out a big sigh, Carly's eyes suddenly burned with tears threatening to fall. "If scares the shit out of me being in his house all the time, relying on him, needing him, all of it."

"Love is like a roller coaster little sister. You'll have that. You've just gotta trust he's the right one for the job."

"I know this and I know Jace is the right one for the job. He's proven it to me time and time again. I swear when my appendix burst, he didn't leave my side for two weeks straight."

"See, you know the answer. I've see how you look when you talk to or about him. I know he rushed here to be with you when I was in the accident. You can tell he loves you Carly."

"I know that. My god, I know that but love isn't always the only thing a relationship needs."

"So fix what's missing?"

Carly looked at her sister, eyes misted with tears. "I just don't what that is anymore."

Kassidy put a comforting hand on Carly's back. "It's okay. I think you're just overwhelmed with everything. I think you're feeling insecure with the fact that you guys are never together long enough to feel a sense of security. The profession you're in isn't easy so I can see where that's coming from. I think you just need to talk to JC and tell him how you're feeling, Carly."

Letting out a trembling breath, Carly nodded. "I know. It's just way too many feelings at once. One second I love him, the next I'm feeling let down. It's just so up and down."

"Then you need to meet in the middle and balance each other out Carly. Guys are stupid sometimes."

Despite the tears streaming down her eyes, Carly finally laughed for the first time in days. "You don't say."

"You've gotta figure out what's most important and decided what you want. JC isn't going to wait around forever, little sister. Call him."

Nodding, Carly accepted the hug from her sister. Meanwhile, she tried to think of what'd she'd say when she placed her phone call.

***

"Give it time, JC. You know she'll call you." Tyler told his brother over the phone.

"I don't know. The way she just left that morning, almost like it didn't affect her. She hardly said anything."

"You know she probably held up her mask. I can almost bet you she was dying inside."

"How do you know?" JC asked. His eyes were now shiny with tears and blood shot.

"I was just coming home the other day when she was leaving. She was crying, man."

JC swallowed the even thicker lump in his throat. "Really?"

"Yes. She was hurting regardless of what you saw. Are you sure you didn't do anything wrong?"

"Shit Tyler, I could have done a hundred things wrong. I've been gone for a while now. Then there was her birthday..."

"You missed it didn't you?"

JC hung his head and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, man I did."

"Think that could have something to do with it?"

JC tried to rack his brain. "I don't know, maybe. She usually doesn't get too sentimental about stuff."

"Hmm, usually doesn't seem too confident. Something tells me you missed something."

"Well I don't want to call her and breath down her neck. She said she wanted time to think things over. I'm trying to give her that."

"Or maybe she's waiting for you."

"Dammit, Tyler."

"What? I'm just trying to help."

"Yeah I know but I better get going. I'm sure Matt will be calling me, breathing down my neck any time now."

"Alright, brother. See ya." Tyler said, ending the conversation.

JC bit his lip, thinking, deciding if he should call Carly. He tried to picture her at that moment, chatting with her sister or playing with her niece she loved so much. Maybe even looking out into Chicago's skyline through her loft that she loved so much. For some reason, thinking of her didn't stop the fact that he wanted to be there with her, enjoying the things she loved so much. He wanted nothing more than to fix things with her, if only he knew what exactly that was. JC was already seeing into his future and Carly was always right beside him in that picture. It seemed within the recent days, that image he had created in his mind had become more and more blurry.

He jumped a little, feeling his cell phone vibrate against the palm of his hand. JC almost gasped when he read her name across the screen. His heart suddenly felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. He never expected her to call this soon. She said she needed time but what if she had made up her mind already and he was no longer apart of it? Pressing the send button, he took the deepest breath oh his life.

"Hello?"

Silence ticked on for a few seconds before he heard the best sound since he watched her walk away from him days before. She let out a small quivery sigh, one where he could tell she was nervous before she finally spoke. "Hey Jace."

Glancing at his watch, JC looked at the door and back to his hand moving nervously in his lap before he could only think one thing. He didn't give. Matt was going to have to wait.