Carly woke, her surroundings still dark. She remembered she was home, in her loft but something was a little different. There was a solid heat pressed against her backside and suddenly everything came flooding back. How she felt the moment she saw him, standing their in her sisters dining room, how it felt to hug him after all of the ups and downs, and then the argument on the way home. In all honesty, Carly felt like shit. Here she was, dealing with her inner demons and dragging JC along for the ride. She honestly wondered why he hung on for so long up until last night. "Because I love you, Carly. More than I've ever loved anyone in my entire fucking life. From tips of my fingers, down to the toes and everywhere in between," he had told her. She remembered her entire body felt something she'd never felt in her life when he told her that, and it was then that she totally and completely believed him.

Rolling over, or trying to with his arms tightly around her, she pried up at him as he slept. It still shocked her how gorgeous he looked even in sleep. Wondering how she was going to make it right, Carly tried to recall all they'd been through since she had first met him. All those days ago, all the flights, the distance, the unsureness, the little steps they took somehow lead them to this point. Now, Carly felt more than ever, it was up to her to fix it.

JC's eyes blinked, feeling hers on him and a sleepy smile came acrossed his chisled features. "What's wrong?" He asked, his voice thick with sleep.

Looking up at him, Carly tried to prevent the tears that were glistening in her green eyes. Apparently, this was going to be harder than she thought. "Can't sleep."

Becoming more awake, he pulled her back into his arms. "Wanna talk?"

She nodded. "I think I need to."

"So shoot." He encouraged.

Taking a deep breath, Carly tried to find the right place to start. So much needed to be said. "I'm sorry." She stated, her voice quivering. "For all of this.."

JC cupped her chin in his warm hand. "You've said that already.. but I know this isn't all your fault. I'm not perfect and I know that. You've gotta start from the beginning. I know something had to bring this on."

"I just.. I guess it all started with my birthday."

"Your birthday?" His eyes looked scared. He remembered she'd spend her birthday with Gavin. Hopefully she wasn't going to tell she...He swallowed hard. "What about it, Carly?"

"This is going to make me sound like a selfish idiot."

"Don't worry about how you'll sound. I need to the truth. We're never going to get anywhere without it."

"I guess I just expected you to be there somehow. Like I said, I know it's selfish but you and I have this thing with each other it seems. We tend to pop up, no matter where the other is, distance aside, and be there whenever we need each other. Like it's some kind of connection I thought we had. I could be lonely as hell for you, wanting to just hug you for hours, smell you, and somehow you'd be there. I guess on my birthday, I figured it'd be like that too. You were the one person I wanted to be with that night. I was just feeling kinda..." She trailed off unable to meet his eyes.

"Let down." JC finished for her.

She looked up, feeling guilty. "Yes. Like I said, I know how the music buisiness is.. and I know I shouldn't have expected you."

JC suddenly felt guilty but at the same time, could see where she was coming from. "No, I understand why you felt that way. You'd come to rely on me, on a deeper more emotional level and when I wasn't their, a piece of your trust felt let down."

"I guess."

He felt the need to be closer to her. Pulling her hand with his he laced their fingers together as one finger tip traced under her glistening eyes. "Well, in that case, I'm sorry. Don't think I didn't want to be there with you Carly. Not for a second. I tried so damned hard to get out of some damn promo thing they'd set me up for. But you have to also know when I called you, just wanting to hear your voice, to be close to you somehow even though I couldn't be there and having you blow me off like you did...it hurt. Stung even. Not only could I not be there with my girlfriend, she was out with a man, drinking, her inhibitions lowered. Do you have any idea how scared I was? All I wanted to do was make sure you were safe."

She sniffled a little. "I'm a big girl, Jace."

"I know you are Carly. But that doesn't stop a man from worrying. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you." He placed their joined hands against his heart, looked up at her, seriousness etched all over him. "I've worked to hard on us, on this, to just give it all up and throw it all away."

Carly instantly felt guilty when his eyes began to glisten, resembling the way hers were not minutes before. "I'm sorry. I let my anger get the best of me."

"I know you are. I think we need to communicate a little better."

"I agree."

He tipped her chin up so that he knew for sure she was looking at him. "You tend to get this wall that always comes up and just when I get it knocked down again, it comes back. I don't know what more I need to do."

"I'm so damn afraid of this JC. Of us, of how much I love you." He looked at her confused. "I did the relationship thing once and thought I was in love only for that man to die. And then after that, it seemed his dirty work comes out from under and I'm left with this horrible feeling, and the only thing I could feel was stupid. Like I was taken on this ride, lead to believe it was all real and then boom. Not only do I lose him and what trust I had for him, everyone knew about his cheating and what not and never bothered to tell me until after he was gone."

"I didn't lose someone Carly but I've been cheated on."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. The only thing we can do from here on out is put the past where it belongs. Behind us."

"I want that too. I just feel like through all of this, the walls I put up, the crap I put you through..you'd just walk away."

"Carly, look at me." JC said. Sitting up in the bed, he followed suit and sat back against the headboard. "If I was going to walk away from all of this, I would have left a long time ago."

A tiny sob escaped her throat. "Can I ask you something?" At his nod, she continued. "Why do you want to be with me? I mean, I know you love me and everything but, well..you're you and I'm just a music producer from Chicago. You live in LA. You go to parties, premiers, award shows. You could have anyone you wanted."

He looked back at her through crystal clear eyes before he shrugged. "Because you're you Carly." When she still didn't look convinced, he pulled her into his lap, reaching for her hand again. "When I met you, you were this confident, gorgeous woman performing like you owned the world in the palm of your hand. You've got self assurance about you that makes you look ten times sexier than you already are. You make me laugh, you have an amazing heart and you're always on my side in everything I do, always my biggest fan...."

When her eyes started welling up, he buried his nose in her neck, speaking against it and smiling as her skin shivered. "You've got the softest skin I've ever felt in my life, and you always smell good, and don't even get me started on your kisses. I still remember the first time I kissed you. It was here at the loft. I swore it was strictly a friend's only type of deal but in all honesty, I had to know what it felt like. What your lips would feel like against mine. I know right then and there that I wouldn't be able to keep my promise. I tried to tell myself I wasn't falling for you but I knew better."

It took every ounce of willpower not to kiss her, not to pull back and take her lips between his and mesh them against his, deepening the kiss, chasing her tongue with his own, swallowing her gasps and feeling her breath against his own but he didn't want this to be about sex. He was trying to prove their relationship had a foundation to build on, regardless of physical contact. Still, it was still nagging inside of his mind that he still had yet to kiss Carly like he'd wanted too since he showed up at her sisters house less than twenty four hours ago.

He pulled back a little, only for his forhead to come down and meet hers. He brushed some of her long hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ears. "So to answer your question, I've got a million reasons, Carly Piper, why I chose you and why I love you but I can assure you that no one else has ever made me feel like I do when we're together. If I have to convince you for the next fifty years that we're meant to be, then I'll do it. But in then end, I love you because you're you."

When he pulled back and looked down into her green eyes, there were tears spilling down her cheeks. "Wow."

"Is that a good wow?"

At her nod, his heart began to swell as she wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him tightly. "Thank you. I needed to hear that. And I love you too."

"You're welcome, honey."

She blinked, trying to process all he'd just said and tried to let it sink in. Looking back at him, she had to ask. "You're sure? Even with all of this? My unsureness, my insecurities, my fears?"

JC nodded, laughing slightly. "I'm sure."

When she released him, her hands went to cup his face in between them. "No ones ever made me feel the things that you do. I could list just as mean reasons for you too, you know."

JC smiled. "I'd love to hear them someday Carly but I don't need an ego boost. I want to fix things between us. Tell me what else is bothering you."

Carly took a deep breath. "Distance."

"What about it?"

"It hurts too damn much." She finally confessed. "You being here, me being their. I know it's kind of required with the career's we have but I hate it. I never thought I could I miss someone like this. I guess I just have this dream of something solid."

JC had been down this road before with other girls. His career never worked with relationships. The women had always wanted more attention than he could give but he was at a point and time in his life where he had to pick and choose what mattered and what mattered the most was always his career and the music.

"Then I'll stop this whole thing. I don't even wanna-."

"No." Carly interrupted, pulling his hands back with hers. "As much as I love you, I won't let my selfish want for your time stop you from doing this. Your talent deserves another chance."

"Carly- you can't tell me that and then disagree with my option to make it better."

"I wasn't asking for a quick fix right this second, Jace. I just want to know someday in the future, maybe things could be a little more solid."

Yawning, Carly slid out of JC's lap, pulling them both down to land on a pillow, laying on their sides facing one another. "I asked you to move in with me. I never got an answer."

"Moving in means nothing when your in New York and I'm in L.A. you know."

"You're right. I think we need to take turns, when possible to fly to wherever the other is. As an agreement, to keep things healthy, to not miss so much."

"If you want to do it." She stated, unsure.

"I want to. Trust me. You?"

Carly nodded. "I'm willing to make a better effort. I know my pride has gotten in the way before."

"That's to be expected, honey. You never answered my earlier question though.. moving in?"

Carly looked like she was deep in thought. "I practically live their now Jace."

His nose bumped hers. "It's not the same, and you know it."

She shrugged. "Another fear."

"I'm trying to figure out how someone so bold and strong as you can have so many fears. Am I worth taking a chance on?" JC asked quietly.

Carly took in another deep breath, trying to get air to her lungs as the closeness of JC stole it away. His face was buried in her neck, not kissing-but just breathing her in as he awaited her answer.

"Yes." She told him, her voice solid and sure. "It's just that the loft is a lot to give up. It's where I started on my own, it's my home, then theres my family.."

"I never said we had to live in LA forever, honey." He said quietly.

Carly's heart skipped a beat as she looked back at him surprised. "You mean that?"

"Yes. I mean I mostly just live out of LA for convenience of work but who knows where things could go. I could easily make things work in Chicago one day too."

"Wow. But won't you have to be touring and stuff soon? That could be a long time before things settle down."

He pulled back a little, running his fingers through her long hair. "Was that a good wow or bad wow?"

"It was a good wow." She smiled and then looked at him confused, noting and he was trying ignore her other concern.

He seemed to read her mind. "And don't worry about that other stuff. Who know's what's going to happen."

"You're going to let it all slip away by being here aren't you? Their going to drop you again."

He shook his head. "No their not. Don't worry about it Carly. This is where I need to be and where I want to be. People sometimes forget I had a life too. Besides, it's Thanksgiving. It's not going to kill them that I'm gone for a few days."

She looked back hesitently. "If your sure."

He pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and nuzzled her neck. "I'm sure. I want us to work Carly. I want solitude and to know we're both on the same page."

At her yawn, she looked up through heavy eyes. "We're getting there, JC."

"Good. Tell me what else?"

"What else what?"

"What else we need to discuss."

Carly shrugged. "This isn't all about me, Jace. I'm sure you've got things you wanna talk about too."

JC couldn't get it off of his mind so he decided to ask. His hand dropped to her side, his fingers splayed out on her back, he leaned in close again. "I wanna know why I've been around you for this long and I haven't gotten a kiss yet."

He felt Carly instantly tense and wondered if he'd gone to far. It wasn't about sex to him and thats not where he wanted tonight to go for them. He just needed to feel closer to her somehow, almost some reassurance. Just as quickly as Carly tensed, she relaxed against his touch.

Her hand went up to his shoulder, tracing it with her fingertips before landing on the narrow juncture of his cheek. "I don't know Mr. Chasez. All you had to do was ask. You know I can't say no to your kisses very well."

The corners of JC's lips turned up, happy she still wanted him, before he leaned forward, meeting her halfway. They both closed their eyes in sync, savoring the taste of one another. JC took it slow, not wanting to rush or make her misinterpret his intentions. He wanted to taste her lips, feel her soft sigh meshing with his own, feel the texture of her lips and tongue with his. He took it all in, breathing in the woman before him and relished in the fact that she was still here with him despite all their ups and downs. They'd been through a lot in the last year and for some reason, this moment solidified what he thought he already knew. He loved Carly and he wasn't going anywhere.

When he reluctently tore his lips from hers, they were both breathless but he didn't pull back right away. He let their breath mingle together, his smile mirroring with hers.

"You shouldn't have waited so long." Carly said softly.

"I wasn't sure you'd want me to kiss you."

Frowning, Carly traced his eyes, trying to erase the uncertainty. "I'm sorry I made you think that. But like I said, I don't say no to your kisses very well. Next time, don't think so much. Just do it."

"I didn't want to turn it into sex. I know we needed to talk."

Carly winked at him. "Jace, you know better. I can read you pretty well. It's okay to want to feel close. We've been like that since day one. In fact, kisses are all you got for the longest time."

He laughed softly, his breath fanning her face. "You waited until you were sure things were right for you. I've got no complaints."

"None?" She challenged, raising a brow.

"None." He leaned forward kissing her nose. "Everything has it's place and time."

"I agree. So you got your kisses. Back to talking."

"Hmm.. I thought we were doing pretty good."

Carly laughed slightly, her smile meeting her eyes, this time. "We are, but I need to hear your thoughts too. I know I'm not perfect."

"You're perfect for me." He winked.

"Jace..." She warned as he began nipping at her neck.

"Okay, okay.. Um, I guess it goes back to sex, er has to do with it sorta."

She looked confused. "Okay?"

"Well kinda.. it's about...ugh, you have to promise you won't get mad at me."

Carly put her hands up, surrendering all her anger. "This is a speak free zone. Talk, oh-handsome one."

In all his nervousness, he had to laugh. "Okay. The whole thing with your appendix and me overhearing the nurse or whatever about the possibility of you being pregnant..."

Carly pulled back a little but JC reached for her hand, keeping it in his. "Okay, what about it?" She asked, looking confused.

"Why'd you keep that from me?"

"Keep what, Jace?"

He thought she was trying to avoid the entire subject until her fingers traced the confusion on his forehead.

"You thought you might be?"

"No. It wasn't like that. The nurse asked if I could be, which they ask anyone who is sexually active. We've always been careful but I'd been busy and wasn't sure the last time I'd had my monthly cycle and was trying to remember. Just to be safe, they did a pregnancy test before I went into surgery. It's like a safety thing."

"Ok but later, after the surgery and everything, when you were home with me, I asked you and you seemed so--I don't know. Almost broken or hurt by it."

She hung her head, looking down at their hands, laying together on the bed. "So much was going through my mind. I wondered what would have happened if I was. If I was ready, what you'd think, if we were okay together or if you'd leave, what it'd mean for my career, yours..it just, scared the shit out of me to put it bluntly. I told you I think too much."

"I think deep down you knew I'd stay. I want to be with you Carly. We had this conversation a while back."

Feeling restless, she sat up in the bed, letting go of his hand. "I know we did but I didn't know if you still felt the same. We never really talked about it when things started getting serious. Then I guess when all was said and done and I was home with you after the surgery, a part of me maybe a little...Ugh, I don't know."

"Disappointed?" He answered for her, his voice soft but sure.

She shivered feeling his hand on the small of her back, still she couldn't look at him just yet. "Yes."

"Carly look at me."

When she turned around, it hurt to see the look on her face. Though it was dark,the illuminated city still glowed below them. He could have swore her eyes were glossy with tears.

"Baby, come here.." JC said, opening his arms to her. "This is what I'm talking about, things like this. Don't worry about me all the time or what I'll think. If something is bothering you, please come talk to me."

Her lip began to tremble at his comforting words. "I know I should have. I just did't know how."

"Well I must be a lousy boyfriend then." He stated, only for her to shake her heard and quickly interject.

"Jace-it's not like that. It's my own stupid insecurities. I told you, I'm not use to this. It's still sinking in that I'm in this with someone. I told you, I'm learning."

Easily, he bussed her forehead. "I know that now but saying you were afraid to tell me makes me look like a jackass. I love you and we've managed all of these other up's and downs but if you can't--."

"We're better now. A lot better. I promise if something like this happens again, I'll come and talk to you as a couple, the two of us."

"Good." He tipped her chin up again, his thumb on the bottom of her chin. "And just so you know, I wouldn't have been mad. I think we're both at a point far enough in our lives that we'd deal with whatever came our way. But like I said, you've gotta include me. Please don't shut me out."

She nodded, taking in a shaky breath, laying her head on his shoulder. Carly was amazed at how far they'd gotten from when he'd arrived at her sisters to now. Things were falling into place. So well she regretted all of her fears almost but then she knew from experience, not all things turned out like this.

"And I think..." JC said, his voice strong and sure. "When and if god see's it fit for us to be parents, we'll be parents." When her eyes looked back nervously, he repeated..."When god see's it fit.." which seemed to calm her worries.

"Sounds like forever." She stated, startleing herself a little.

Looking up into his eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time that night, Carly was surprised to see no worry on JC's face. Just a confident smile of a devastatingly handsome man in front of her. Her man to be exact. It seemed everything was slowly falling together and now more than every, Carly was sure JC was right. They could work things out once they were on the same page. Yes, both of their careers demanded a lot of their time but once distance had been thrown into the pot of their problems, it was agreed mutually that it would be worked on.
JC was so confident and it transfered on to her, making her see things with them together. The past year flashed before her eyes, making her remember all of the little moments she fell in love with him building up to where they were today, in spite of everything.

"Sounds good to me." He said, his voice husky. Out of nowhere, he took Carly into his arms, laying her down on the bed and gently coming over her. He nuzzled her nose with his before kissing the corner of her mouth. One hand came up to push her unruly bed hair and once again tuck it behind her ears. "Thank you for giving me a chance, Carly. For taking the time to hear me out, for letting me know, for hanging on to us."

She reached up, delving her hand into his hair and softly running her fingers through his dark brown waves. Easily, her lips met his his in a tender joining of lips. She didn't pull away right away, letting them savor it, feeling it was the perfect way to soak in the moment. "You're welcome." She pulled one of his hands with hers, lacing their pinky's together. "I'm hanging on. I'm not going anywhere, and I love you."

"I love you." He whispered, tucking his face in the crook of her neck and breathing her in. Pulling away, he took one of her hands on his own before placing on his heart, and took a deep breath, his eyes melting into hers. "Marry me, Carly."