Bittersweet Goodbye
So, I was wrong. Lunch wasn't horribly awkward, it had been fairly enjoyable. Danyelle was actually pretty nice. And smart. And gorgeous. And funny as hell. . . Almost perfect. But I wasn't going to let that hold me back. I'm not going to turn into one of those possessive, overly attached girlfriends that calls her guy every five seconds to assure that he's not doing anything "inappropriate". No. I was going to be the cool one who silently obsesses over her boyfriend's whereabouts. . .
"What do you think he's doing?" I quickly averted my attention from my computer screen to Tiffany.
"What? Who? Justin? What do you mean?" She looked at me uncomfortably before rolling her eyes.
"I'm talking about Bosco." she explained before pointing. I turned to see my beloved dog staring aimlessly at the side of our kitchen's counter.
"Oh," I said dumbly, "Maybe there's a bug or something." Tiffany shrugged before turning her attention to me.
"Why did you think I was thinking about Justin?" It was my turn to shrug.
"I don't know. He was just on my mind, I guess."
"What? Did you space out and have that ridiculous dream again?" She smiled, amused with her smart ass comment.
"No, ass wipe," I sneered, "I just miss him." She stood from the couch and huffed, unconvinced.
"Whatever," she said dismissively, "You think him and that Danny girl have a little something something going on, don't you?" I rolled my eyes and looked at her in shock.
"No," I said defensively, "Why would I even think about something like that?" I asked. She shrugged once again before sauntering back to the couch.
"Because you're still freaking out over the fact that your nightmare is slowly but surely coming to life." Tiffany fell back into the couch before picking up the remote and flipping through the channels.
"You don't really think he would, do you?" I asked softly. Tiffany looked at me and shrugged.
"He's a man, girl. It's possible." I wanted to smack her for saying that. What kind of shit is that to say to someone in my position?
"What the hell?" I asked in disbelief, "Why did you say that?" She lazily rolled her head in my direction and sighed.
"Because it's true," she stated, "Is he capable? Yeah. Do I think he'd do it? No." Well, why didn't she say that in the first place?
"You really believe that?" Tiff nodded and smiled.
"You've got that boy whipped and you don't even know it." I laughed and rolled my eyes.
"He's not whipped," I argued, "He's just. . . I don't know." Tiffany laughed.
"He's whipped," she confirmed, "Justin loves you too much to be that stupid. He knows you're one of a kind. He's not gonna do anything to ruin what you two have." I smiled and nodded.
"Thanks, Tiff. I appreciate you saying that."
"It was nothing," she said, waving me off, "Besides, Justin payed me to do it."
"What?" I asked in shock. She laughed and I hit her with a pillow.
"You are too easy, you know that, right?"
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
It was May 28th, about a week before the first day of touring. Justin was ecstatic and ready to roll. I, however, was far from happy. Sure, I support Justin and love seeing him so excited. But a part of me hates to see him go. A HUGE part of me. It's going to be so weird. This is the first time, since Justin and I became a couple, that we're going to be apart for such a long period of time. It's a weird and unwelcoming feeling knowing that I won't see him for at least a month.
"You alright?" I snuggled into Justin's chest as we stood swaying to the smooth music playing in the hall. We were at the tour opening party in New York. I didn't want to come, but Justin told me his night wouldn't be complete without me.
"No," I pouted like a five year old, "Why can't you tour in LA only?" He chuckled lightly and kissed the top of my head.
"Because, unfortunately, all of my fans don't live here." I smiled at him 'duh' tone and peeled myself off of him so that I could see his face.
"Oh well," I said, "If they're really your fans, they'd find a way here." He laughed caressed my cheek softly.
"You really thought this out, haven't you?" I smiled sheepishly and rested against his chest again.
"I was bored, okay?" He laughed again and I was comforted by the vibration of his chest movements against my cheek.
"You are too cute." he told me as his arms wrapped tightly around my form.
"Mind if I cut in?" I had to stop myself from groaning as I shifted in Justin's arms. Danyelle. She was becoming a pain in my ass. Her and Justin have spent most of their time together, laughing it up, as though they weren't going to be seeing each for the entire tour.
"Um. . ." I heard Justin begin, unsure of what to say. I looked up at him, my face pleading with him to tell her to fuck off. But I sighed and plastered a smile across my face.
"Sure," I answered, "Just make sure he's free by the end of the night." Danyelle grinned and thanked me as I reluctantly pulled away from Justin's warm embrace. He gave me a soft smile, a thanks for my politeness towards her, before I walked over to the open bar.
"That was nice," I smiled when I saw Trace sitting down next to me. I shrugged, as if it was nothing and ordered myself a drink.
"What else could I have done?" I asked him. He sipped his drink and ate a pretzel from the bowl resting on the top of the bar counter.
"You could've told her to go screw herself." I laughed and sipped my iced tea.
"So now you tell me?" I asked sarcastically, causing him to chuckle lightly.
"It doesn't matter," Trace smiled, "You've got nothing to worry about." I looked over at him, brow raised.
"What makes you think I was worrying?" I asked as calmly as possible.
"Nothing, I'm just saying that you've got nothing to. . .worry about." I nodded and turned my attention to Justin and Danyelle. They were swaying back and forth to the music. The modest distance between them gave me some form of relief. But the conversation that they were having and the way Justin looked at her when she laughed was making me squirm.
I’ve gotta stop my mind
Working overtime
It’s driving me insane
Ever since Danyelle showed up, my nightmares have ceased. I figured that my mental torture was no longer necessary since I'm living through it now. I thought I was insecure before, but since Danyelle's bubbly ass came into our lives again, I've been on self-conscious overdrive.
It will not let me live
Always so negative
It’s become my enemy
Call me crazy. Call it women's intuition. All I know is that I don't like this chick. She's too. . . clingy. She's like a female version of Trace, always bobbing along Justin's side. Her presence is an annoyance. It's like she's here to make me stop and think 'Do I look fat in this?' or 'Maybe I should order that salad instead'.
Why would I think such things
Crazy thoughts have quick wings
Gaining momentum fast
I wanna be that girlfriend that can sit back with ease and embrace her boyfriend's female friends, and for the most part, I am. But Danyelle? She rubs me the wrong kinda way, if you know what I mean.
One minute I am fine
The next I’ve lost my mind
To a fake fantasy
"So, how many ways have you come up with?" I turned and looked at Trace weirdly.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, genuinely confused.
"Plots to get rid of Danyelle," I laughed, "I'm serious. I was thinking about breaking her legs. No legs, no tour, you know what I'm saying?" Trace and I laughed.
"I thought you liked Danyelle?" He shrugged and looked over at where they were standing.
"Eh. . ." He sighed, "Not as much as I like you." I smiled and turned to the bartender.
"Another iced tea please."
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Justin groaned and gripped her hips as she grounded her body into his. Her back arched in pleasure as her hands gripped his neck. He lifted his freed hand to the center of her back and pressed her against his chest. The soft mounds of her breast collided with his upper body and he devoured her lips with his own. She moaned into his mouth grabbed his shoulders to prevent herself from falling over in their moment of passion. . .
Alonsha smiled as she woke. The sun was mercilessly shining outside and the glare stung her eyes. She groaned and rolled over with a disappointed sigh. She had almost forgotten that he was leaving today as her eyes drank in his sleeping form.
Daylight comes, daylight comes
and you’ve gotta go
Breaks my heart, breaks my heart
to have to watch you go
The thought of letting him sleep and miss his flight had crossed her mind for a moment. But she couldn't have done that. This tour was a major plus to his solo career. It would tear her apart to take that away from him.
"Mmm. . ." Justin grumbled as he stretched, "Mornin'." A smile spread across his drowsy face as he looked over at Alonsha. She lazily laid her head across his chest and sighed.
"Morning."
Wish I knew, wish I knew
when you’ll be back again
However long, it’s just too long
until we meet again
"What time is it?" he asked as he lightly patted her hair. She shrugged and snuggled deeper into his warmth.
"Six something, I guess." Justin shifted underneath the sheets and excused himself. Alonsha moved and allowed him to walk into the bathroom. She watched as he walked across the bedroom and watched when he walked back to the bed when he finished.
"I wanna stay as much as you want me to." Justin said as he slipped into the sheets and pulled her back into his arms.
Stay now, stay now
just a little more
Coz this love, this love
is what living's for
Stay now
"Liar," Alonsha smiled, "You know you wanna go." Justin chuckled lightly, guilty as charged.
"Yeah, but I don't wanna leave you, Beautiful."
"But you can't always get what you want." She said this softly, in fear that she might cry in front of him. Justin heard the sudden change in her tone and for a moment, he wished he wasn't Justin Timberlake. Maybe, for once in his life, it wouldn't hurt this much to say goodbye.
Hide in bed, sheets overhead
blocking out the sun
Feel like we are marooned at sea
"You know," Justin smiled, "I don't have to leave for another two hours." Alonsha looked up at him and saw a familiar glimmer in his eyes.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" she asked him playfully. Justin smiled and wiggled his brows.
"On three." he instructed.
away from everyone
And I, I hate to say goodbye
I, want you to touch me one more time
"Three!" Alonsha shouted. They both grabbed their pillows and began to pummel each other, laughing their asses off.
A pillow fight.
"Ow!" Justin groaned as he quickly covered up his eyes. Alonsha watched helplessly as he hissed in pain and tumbled over on the bed.
"Oh shit!" Alonsha said in a panicky tone, "Are you alright?" She reached out and tried to remove his hands from his face to see what was wrong. She was feeling terrible now because the last thing she wanted to do was injure him.
"Yeah, I just. . ." He sighed as he rubbed his eye, "I just love you so much that I had to make you squirm before I left." Alonsha punched his stomach lightly and rolled her eyes.
"You keep crying wolf, Justin," she warned, "The next time something's wrong with your ass, I'm not helping you." Justin laughed at her pout. He loved it when she tried to be tough and intimidating.
"Yeah right," Justin said dismissively, "You love me too much not to care." Alonsha smiled at him despite herself and kissed him softly on the lips.
"Damn straight," she admitted, "But don't try to give me panic attacks because you can." Justin laughed and kissed her again.
"You're making leaving harder with all your cuteness." Alonsha laughed.
"So, I should start being ugly now?" Justin shrugged.
"It might help."
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Well, despite my many attempts to become "ugly", the time for Justin to leave had finally arrived. It was a sucky feeling for the both of us as we drove up to the airport. Lonnie and Mike sat up front, Trace and Justin's mom in the seat in front of us, and Justin and I in the last row. Our hands were intertwined and we leaned on each as we rode in silence.
I was thinking about everything that was going to happen and was happening. First and foremost, Justin's departure. I was seriously stressing over this goodbye. He was leaving for months and I wouldn't get to see him until they were at least a month or two into this tour business. But the worst part of it all: Danyelle.
That clingy son of a gun was going to be with Justin 24/7. Not only on stage, but backstage, the hotel, the parties, everything. It was driving me insane. I trusted Justin for the most part, but Danyelle? There's a better chance of Satan being Ally's baby father than me trusting Danyelle's ass.
"What's wrong?" I heard Justin ask as he gave my hand a light squeeze. I hadn't realized the sour look that had spread across my face at the mere thought of Danyelle.
"Nothing," I lied, "I just don't want to see you go." Now that was true. I didn't want to see him go. Especially into the awaiting arms of that skank.
"You'll come out and see me in the near future," he said reassuringly, "And I'll call and email. I even brought a web-cam thingy, so you can see me when we IM each other." I smiled at the thought and snuggled into his arm.
"I know," I sighed, "But it's not as good as having you here." I felt Justin's lips kiss my forehead lightly before he lifted our hands to his mouth, kissing mine softly.
"I love you," he told me as he stared down at our hands.
"I love you too," I replied softly as the car came to a stop. Justin's hand instantly dropped mine the moment the door flew open. Lonnie stood there and guided him out. Trace came to my side of the door and pulled it open for me, helping me out. There was a few flashes from the waiting paparazzi, but it ceased when we entered the airport. People were walking around, making flight arrangements and finding missing family members. I smiled as I saw a mother chasing after her curious son.
My eyes fell onto Justin's back as he walked ahead of me, Lonnie and Mike blocking him from the people's wondering eyes. Trace walked along side him and Lynn was by my side. As we walked to his gate, Christina came into view with her entire entourage by her side also. She smiled and gave a small wave. The kind gesture was returned as Justin walked over and placed a kiss on her cheek.
The dancers and crew were already in Phoenix, waiting for Justin and Christina to arrive. Thank God. I don't think I could've stomached Danyelle's bubbly behavior. Aside from that, she would've been a distraction from the real problem.
Justin's goodbye.
"Hey," I looked up and saw Justin walking over to me. His hands were deep inside of his pockets and his creased hat was covering up half his face. I laughed lightly and adjusted it on his head so that I could see his eyes.
"So," I started off, "I guess this is it." Justin laughed and nodded.
"Yeah," He sighed, "But I'll fly you out as soon as I can." I nodded and began to aimlessly pick at the invisible lint on his jacket.
Baby, you’re sailing today
Baby, you’re sailing away
Sugar, wish I could go too
But honey you know
I’m happy for you
"I know. Just. . . enjoy yourself, okay?" He raised a brow at my words.
"What do you mean?"
"Have fun. Not too much fun," I stated sternly. He laughed and my heart quivered in my chest. I loved him too much.
"No fun for me," he said as he shook his head, "I'm gonna be too busy sulking around missing you." I wish.
Baby, your ship has come in
Baby, adventures will begin
Sugar, don’t you worry ‘bout me
Coz honey you know
Want you to be happy
"No," I sighed, defeated, "Have your fun." Justin offered me a sympathetic smile as he gently kissed my forehead before brushing his lips against my cheek.
"Justin," We broke out of our isolated world when Trace's voice was heard, "Come on, man. The plane's loading." Justin nodded and Trace walked back over to the group.
"I'm gonna miss you, Sexy." I could feel my eyes welling up with tears and I felt unbelievably foolish.
"I'm gonna miss you too." I said, trying not to choke up. Justin's face filled with concern and I turned my eyes away from his. He pulled me into a hug and rubbed my back in a soothing fashion.
"No tears, alright?" he told me, "You're gonna make me cry." I laughed and dried my eyes as we pulled apart. He kissed my cheek one more time.
"Call me." I told him and he nodded.
"As soon as I land, I promise." And with that, he walked away to join Trace and his mom, who were patiently waiting for him. I watched as he sent me a small wave as he disappeared down the corridor. I weakly waved back to nobody and sighed.
"You ready to go?" I smiled at Mike and nodded.
"Yeah, let's go."
Song Credit(s):
"Save Me"- Jem
"Stay Now"- Jem
"Wish I"- Jem
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