My Heart Is Gone
I guess you could say I've gotten off easy over this month. I missed Justin like hell, but everybody was being so helpful. Ally left her pampered comfort to come down to LA and spend some quality time with me. We went shopping for the baby, which is due in about a month. She's ecstatic and scared, but Jared is convinced that she's acting. She knows more about babies than anybody I know because of all those pregnancy books she's been reading.
Well anyway, Tiffany just celebrated her twenty-second birthday. She was hoping for Botox treatments, but Scott took her to Madrid, Spain instead. But don't fret. I'm not alone. Bosco is by my side and so is Chris, who got us a eight thousand dollar donation for the center's expansion project.
But the cherry on top of this big ass sundae, you might ask? I get to go visit Justin for a week in Philadelphia in two weeks. He's sent the ticket and has arranged for Mike to pick me up and drive me to the airport and for Lonnie to meet me at Philadelphia International Airport to take me to Jay's hotel. All I have to do is pack and count down the days.
I was finally arriving home from the center, exhausted and hungry. I walked into the kitchen as I kicked off my shoes. The answering machine's message light was blinking a two and I sighed as I pressed play.
"Hey, girl. It's me." Tiffany, "I wanted to tell you I was having a great time in Madrid. Did you know they have like three siestas a day?" I laughed at her excitement as I walked over to the fridge, "Okay, I was just checking in. Adios, chica!" Then came message number two.
"Hey, baby," Justin!, "I was calling to say what's up. I'm in Miami now and I'm about to go on stage. I just wanted to send my love. Call me when you get this." I smiled and deleted the messages. I figured that I would call his cell now.
The phone rang for a while and right when I thought I was gonna get the machine, it picked up, "Hello?" Okay, that's definitely not Justin. The last time I checked, he wasn't a woman.
"Uh. . .could I speak to Justin?" Well of course I can, it's his damn phone.
"Is this Alonsha?" I could her a bubbly tweak in her tone and I saw red.
Danyelle.
"Yeah, this is Alonsha." She squealed happily and I rolled my eyes.
"Hey! It's Danyelle by the way," No, really? "Justin's in the shower now, but I'll let him know to call you back."
What the hell is he doing in the shower?
"Is he in his room?" I asked as calmly as possible.
"Yeah, we were about to head out to dinner with the crew." What I didn't understand was why this bitch couldn't wait with the 'crew'.
"Okay, just tell him he can reach me at home."
"Alright," she said cheerfully, "It was nice speaking to you." Whatever, you hoebag.
"Yeah, you too." I heard a click on the other end and I bit my bottom lip as I hung up the phone. This wasn't the first time Danyelle has been in his room. In fact, I can only remember one time where she wasn't around him. But I don't complain because I put a lot of faith in Justin.
I still can't stop myself from shivering the moment Danyelle's name comes from his mouth.
'Danyelle and I did this. . .' and 'Danyelle is so funny. . .'
Was he that clueless? Did he not understand that nobody in their right mind wants their significant other to brag about somebody else? I could practically feel my stress and anger surge through my veins as I walked over to the freezer. I opened the door and grabbed a microwavable Lean Cuisine meal. I tore open the box angrily and popped the frozen dish into the microwave. I pressed a few buttons and pressed start.
Right when I turned to walk out of the kitchen, the phone rang and I rolled my eyes.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
"Hello?" Justin heard Alonsha ask, irritably, into the phone.
"Hey, babe." he cooed as he sat on the edge of his bed. He looked out off his open bedroom door and could see Danyelle watching SpongeBob on the television.
"Justin," Alonsha said, "So nice of you to call." He didn't like the sarcastic tone she used.
"What's wrong with you?" he asked jokingly as he searched through his nightstand's drawers for his watch.
"Nothing's wrong with me, Justin." she snapped. Justin furrowed his brows.
"Okay, what the hell did I do?" He didn't like the attitude he was getting for no apparent reason.
"Nothing, I just don't understand why Danyelle's the one answering your phone when I call, saying that you're in the shower." Justin rolled his eyes, annoyed.
"Well if she didn't answer, I would've never known you called." he said, trying to reason with her.
"There's something called voice-mail." she shot back.
"You know I rarely check that shit." he said dismissively, "What's the deal anyway? You don't get mad when Trace answers my phone."
"Well Trace is your assistant, Justin. He does stuff like that."
"Alonsha, if you're looking for an argument, I don't have time for it." He could hear her suck in a breath.
"You know what, Justin?" Alonsha asked, rhetorically, "I'm sick of Danyelle. She's always around you, 24/7."
"I work with her, what do you expect?"
"You work with her on stage," Alonsha stated angrily, "Not in your hotel room."
"She's my friend, Alonsha. We hang out, so what?"
"Don't bullshit me with that friend crap," Alonsha said, raising her voice, "She's always all over you and you don't even see it." Justin walked over and shut his door.
She wants you
And baby I'm not fooled
She wants you
So don't you play the fool
"We're friends, Alonsha. Friends! Get it through your head!"
"Oh please, Justin! If everybody didn't know any better, they would've thought you two were. . ."
"Were what? Huh?" Justin asked, interrupting her, "A couple? They'd think I was cheating on you?"
"If the shoe fits, Justin."
You say she's just a friend
But I can see straight through
Baby I'm not having it
"Is that what this is about?" Justin asked, "You think that I'm cheating on you?" He was shocked and disappointed.
"I didn't say that. . ."
"You didn't have to," Justin continued, "It's what you're implying. How could you even think I'm capable of doing that?"
"What am I suppose to think? You're always talking about her, hanging out with her."
"So that automatically makes me a cheater?"
"I'm just saying that it makes me a little uncomfortable." Alonsha explained.
"There you go again with that 'me' business."
"What is that suppose to mean?"
"It means that you're always thinking about yourself. You and this insecurity issue you've got going is starting to piss me off." Justin said, catching her off guard.
"Well you're not helping me by hanging out with that bitch all the damn time." Alonsha told him.
"Don't call her a bitch," Justin said defensively.
"Figures that you'd defend her," Alonsha sighed.
"This isn't even about Danyelle," Justin stated confidently, "You just don't trust me."
"I do trust you, I don't trust her." Justin rolled his eyes.
"She shouldn't matter. The trust that we should have is the only thing we should be worried about," Justin said, "Because, apparently, that trust is one-sided."
"I already told you that I trusted you," Alonsha said, "Danyelle is the problem."
"No, you're the problem." Justin corrected, "All that she's done is tell me how great you are and now you're calling her a bitch that wants to get in my pants."
"She's always flirting with you and touching you. Her ass is attached to you all the time. . ."
"She flirts? So does everybody else in the world." Alonsha groaned.
"Are you really that stupid?" Alonsha asked.
"So I'm stupid now?" Justin countered.
"No, you've been stupid," Alonsha answered, "And blind." Justin sighed, no longer angry, but hurt.
"Alonsha, you can go on and make up all these twisted fantasies in your head, but I don't wanna deal with it."
"What? Do you think I like to feel this way? Do you think I enjoy watching someone throwing herself at you?"
"I don't know, Alonsha. Do you?"
"Fine, Justin. You want Danyelle? Have her. Fuck whoever the hell you want. See if I care." Justin heard the end hang up and he dropped the phone back on its base. He sat back down on the bed and sighed.
What just happened? Did Alonsha break up with him?
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Okay, what the fuck just happened? Did I do what I think I just did?
I stared at the phone in my hands, as if it were going to attack me. I finally set it down on its base and backed away from it. I felt like I was in a dream. I couldn't tell reality from my dreams anymore, but when I felt my tears rolling down my face, I realized what I just did.
I broke up with Justin.
As soon as the realization hit me, it felt like someone punched me in the chest, knocking the life out of me. My stomach twisted into knots and I leaned over on the counter to keep myself from falling over.
My insane jealousy had finally reached its peak and I lost Justin because of it. Damn, this wasn't the way it was suppose to go down. I was suppose to be happy and excited. I should still be on the phone, laughing with Justin as my heart swelled with love for him. But I'm not. And it's all her fault.
If she had been in her rightful place and not all over Justin, this wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't be sitting on my kitchen floor, crying my eyes out, as Bosco sends me a sympathetic whimper. I should be happy for once in my life. I shouldn't be heart broken and alone.
Danyelle. That air-headed, pompous, man-stealing whore. I should fly down to Miami and kick her ass. I would, if I could. But I don't think I'll be able to move from my spot on the ground. I can barely breathe.
My heart is gone.
Song Credit(s):
"She Wants You"- Kelly Price
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