Beautiful
"Hello?"
"Hey, baby. I hope I'm not calling you too early." I smiled at the sound of his voice.
"No, I was just about to leave." I informed him as I trudged through the hallway and to the elevator.
"Well, I'm glad I got you before you reached the airport." I could almost feel his smile against my cheek as I held the phone against my ear.
"Me too. I was gonna call when I landed."
"I wouldn't ask you to do that, Lonnie." Justin said softly into the phone, "This is your vacation. It's all about you." I opened up my trunk and reluctantly piled in my suitcases.
"Yeah, it's all about me," I mumbled, "I still feel dumb doing this alone." Justin chuckled lightly.
"There's nothing wrong with vacationing alone," Justin reassured, "Lots of people do it."
"Yeah, lots of crazy people." I shot back.
"See, you'll be with your own kind." I rolled my eyes at his joke and sighed.
"I'd curse you out, but I don't want to bring all of that negative energy with me on the plane." He laughed again, the vibrations sent shivers down my spine.
"I was joking, geez," Justin sighed, "Have a good time and relax."
"I will, I will." I said as I made my way inside of the car.
"Okay, fly safe then," Justin told me, "I love you." Right there. That did it. My tear ducts opened and unleashed their fiery. I was going to hell for doing this.
"I love you too."
I'm a horrible person. I'm one of those people you never turn your back to. One of the irrational bastards that make life harder on everybody. The type of woman that makes her mistakes and never finds a way to fix them. I'm a coward. I'm a self-conscious loser who looks in the mirror and sees an even bigger loser. But most of all. . .
I'm a liar.
I lied to everybody. I said that I'm going on vacation. And I am. Just for more than a week. Maybe a few months. Maybe even a year or two. I wasn't going to Jamaica. When I said I didn't know where to go, it was just a front. I was just too scared to tell the truth. I couldn't even face myself with the truth.
I was running away.
I couldn't stay here. In LA. In my apartment. In my relationship with Justin. In my tormented soul. I needed an escape. And I found one. I finally took the initiative for the first time in my life, and I'm afraid that I'm not making the right decision.
I know what all of you are thinking.
You're such an ungrateful bitch, Alonsha.
Take your ass back home or else. . .
Believe me, I have that little voice inside of my head too. Telling me that maybe I shouldn't do this. That I shouldn't be on this plane headed to a place where I don't know anybody. Where I'm nobody. Where I'm not Alonsha Daniels, but just another new face.
But there's another part of me that's jumping for joy. That's saying Finally, you're doing something right! And, for some odd ass reason, I'm listening to it.
The time is right
I'm gonna pack my bags
And take that journey down the road
Cause over the mountain I see the bright sun shining
And I want to live inside the glow
Yeah
All of this is somewhat liberating. It feels like I'm taking a step outside of my secluded box. The last time I did that, I let myself fall in love with Justin. . .
Justin. I know that I'll never find someone like him again. Someone so real and humble. Yet, so cocky and superficial. A man so breathtakingly gorgeous, but so childishly cute all the same. I love him. I really do. That's why I couldn't tell him about how I feel. About what I'm doing. Because I know that he would've convinced me to stay. He wouldn't even need to ask. Just one look from him would make me crumble. Would make me throw down my bags and run into his open arms.
But that wasn't what I needed.
Please understand that it not that I don't care
But right know these wall are closing in on me
I love you more than I love life itself
I want to see if my time alone will help me be able to live with myself. To find my good traits and accept my bad ones. I want to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and smile. Think that I'm not too bad on the eyes and be comfortable in my own skin. Be the woman I always wanted to be.
But I need to find a place were I can breathe
I can breathe
I wanna go to place were I can hold the intangible
And let go of the pain with all my might
Hopefully, all my hopes and all these aspirations aren't all in vain. Hopefully, I'm making the right decision.
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
"This is so weird," Tiffany pouted as she walked inside of her apartment. Scott was right on her heels, carrying the grocery bags.
"What?" he asked, genuinely confused. Tiffany sucked her teeth, annoyed with his clueless behavior.
"This!" She animatedly swung her arms about the apartment. Scott nodded, finally catching on.
"You miss her already, huh?" He smiled as her adorable pout came across her face again.
"Yeah," she sighed, "She's all alone out there." Scott nodded and made his way into the kitchen.
"It's only a week, babe." he reasoned.
"I know, but still." Tiffany walked over to the fridge, preparing to place a gallon of milk in it, when a note on its door caught her eye.
"What is it?" Scott asked, noticing her silent state.
"It's a note from Alonsha," she informed him as she began to read, "Oh my God. . ." Scott hurriedly rushed to her side, reading over her shoulder.
"I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly, but I feel like I have no other choice. . ." His voice fell as he read Alonsha's written words, "She ran away?" Tiffany turned and face him, her eyes glazing over with her angry tears.
"I'm gonna kill her."
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Justin smiled as he pulled up to his lavish estate. His blue eyes scanned his graveled driveway and he spotted his mother's Mercedes. Trace's fingers anxiously tapped against the steering wheel as he parked Justin's SUV. They both got out and went to the back, grabbing their luggage.
"Damn, it feels so good to be home." Trace groaned as he swung his duffel bag over his shoulder.
"You don't live here." Justin smiled, "But if you want to, the rent's due." Trace rolled his eyes and smiled as he walked up to the mahogany doors of Justin's mansion. Using his key, he managed to open the door with his free hand. Justin followed him into the house, dropping his bags as soon as he shut the door behind him.
"MAMA!" Trace called, knowing Lynn was in earshot.
"Hey, boys." Lynn greeted as she made her way out of the kitchen. Justin walked over and kissed her lovingly on the cheek. She smiled and Trace walked over and did the same.
"What ya cookin', good lookin'?" Trace asked as they strolled over to the kitchen.
"Some chicken, rice, gumbo. . ."
"Gumbo?" Justin asked giddily, "Please tell me Gran made some cobbler." Justin's eyes went into puppy mode and Lynn smiled.
"How could she not?" she asked, rhetorically. Justin cheered and began to pick at the treats Lynn had left on the table.
"Save some for me." Trace said as he began to reach for a piece of chicken.
"Justin, honey," Lynn said sweetly, "I need to talk to you." Justin turned away from the table, his cheeks puffed up with pieces of cobbler. Lynn raised a brow and smirked.
"Yes, mama?" Justin responded respectfully. His childish appearance only caused Lynn's heart to break.
This was going to crush him.
"Well, Alonsha. . ." she began before being cut off by Justin's excited tone.
"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you," he said, "I have everything planned for us tonight. Lonnie and I are flying out to Florida and we're gonna spend the weekend at my beach house."
"Oh, that's nice, hun. But I really think. . ."
"But mom, the best part is, we've got the beach all to ourselves. I was thinking about dinner then a walk in the sand before we get some ice cream from this cute little stand a few minutes away from my place." Lynn frowned. He was really looking forward to his night with her. To his life with her.
"Justin, she wanted me to give you this." Lynn walked over to the cabinet and opened the door, pulling out an envelope, "She left this on your bed." Justin looked at his mother with a confused look before cautiously taking the envelope. He slowly began to tear it open and read her words. Trace looked up from the corn on his plate and stared at Justin. He watched as his friend's face dropped and paled. He looked sick.
"What's wrong, man?" Trace asked worriedly, "Is everything alright?" Justin didn't answer. Instead, he stood and balled up the letter, angrily tossing it into the trash can.
"This is all she left?" Justin asked his mother, never lifting his eyes to meet her gaze. Lynn nodded.
"I'm sorry." Lynn said softly, really not knowing what to do. Justin nodded and sighed.
"What's going on?" Trace asked, annoyed with their silent conversation. Lynn turned and faced him.
"She left," Lynn answered, "She's not coming back." Trace gasped lightly and looked over at Justin sympathetically as he sat down at the kitchen table. His eyes were focused intently on a spot on a floor before he finally spoke.
"How could she?"
Completed
Timberlake is the author of 27 other stories.
This story is a favorite of 7 members. Members who liked Love & Trust also liked 164 other stories.
This story is part of the series, The Lonnielake Series. The next story in the series is Love & Forgiveness.
This story is a favorite of 7 members. Members who liked Love & Trust also liked 164 other stories.
This story is part of the series, The Lonnielake Series. The next story in the series is Love & Forgiveness.
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