Expect The Unexpected
Justin sighed as he stretched his legs across the cherry wood of his mother's coffee table. The big screen television in front of him was showing some Saturday morning cartoon, but it wasn't his focus. He mind had drifted off to the argument him and Alonsha had three weeks ago. He hadn't spoken to her since and she made no effort to call. For some reason, he felt quite guilty. Justin kept these feelings to himself, not wanting Cameron to cry out in misery when he revealed he missed Alonsha. A lot. Probably more than he should have.
"Get your feet down," Lynn demanded as she walked into her living room. Justin quickly did as told and sat up in his seat. His mother took a spot next to him as she glanced at the television screen, "What's this?" Justin shrugged in response.
"I haven't been paying attention," he mumbled, "Mom, I feel like shit." Lynn grabbed the remote from the table and clicked off the t.v.
"Care to tell me why?" Justin adjusted in his seat so that he was sitting indian style. Lynn decided to sit the same way, patiently waiting for his answer.
"It's about Alonsha," Lynn nodded knowingly as he continued, "I just feel really bad, ya know? She didn't do anything wrong and I just blamed her for everything."
"Well, you can't take back what you said," Lynn told him, "But you can apologize for it." Justin wrinkled his nose and pouted.
"I hate being wrong." Lynn laughed lightly.
"Yeah, but who likes it?" Lynn said, "You just have to be the man that you are and admit you weren't right."
"I know," Justin breathed, "But I also know Alonsha. She'll curse me out before I say 'hello'."
"I can't really blame her," Lynn said, "Especially with the way you spoke to her."
"Mom, you weren't there," Justin whined, "She said some bad stuff to me."
"It's only bad because it was the truth."
"So, I'm Cameron's puppet?" Justin asked.
"No, but you love her," Lynn explained, "And when you're in love, you do dumb shit." Justin smiled, amused with her use of profanity.
"I just. . . I just want her to be happy, mom," Justin said, "I know she loves me a lot, which would explain her insane jealousy."
"I'd be jealous too," Lynn smiled, "The way you and Alonsha click still amazes me."
"What way?" Justin asked, "We're friends."
"I know, but ya'll are so cute together." Justin rolled his eyes.
"Alonsha and I are never cute together." Justin muttered.
"Yeah, ya'll are," Lynn argued, "But I understand that it what ya'll had was the past."
"Exactly," Justin said, "I just wish Cameron would get that."
"It's hard for her," Lynn defended, "No woman wants the man she loves to be all buddy-buddy with his ex."
"We were friends before the dating," Justin said, "Everybody seems to forget about that part."
"But you guys were a couple before Cameron came along. Hell, if Alonsha hadn't left, you'd still be with her." Justin stomach knotted nervously when his mother said those words.
"You don't know that."
"But I can assume based on the way ya'll were before," Lynn informed him, "It still hurts, doesn't it?" Justin looked up at his mother with questioning eyes.
"What?"
"Her leaving you," Lynn told him. Justin shrugged and looked down at his hands.
"A little bit," Justin confessed, "But I'm over it for the most part, I guess."
"Is that the real reason why you called off ya'll's friendship?"
"No, I told you it was because of all the tension between Cam's beef with Alonsha."
"Something tells me she's not the only one with insecurities. . ." Lynn sang with a small smile. Justin, once again, rolled his eyes.
"What are you getting at, woman?" Lynn shrugged innocently.
"Maybe you're afraid to get close to her again," Lynn told him, "Maybe you're afraid that you'll love her again and-"
"Excuse me?" Justin interrupted, "What do you mean by 'love'?"
"Whatever you thought I meant."
"If that's the case, you're crazier than I thought," Justin scoffed, "I'm not going to fall in love with her again."
"You don't know that."
"I do know that," Justin corrected, "What's your problem, mom? I'm with Cameron."
"I know who you're with, Justin," Lynn stated sternly, "Watch your tone."
"Sorry, but I don't like being called a cheater."
"I never said that!" Lynn exclaimed.
"But you said I could fall in love with Alonsha, while I'm with Cameron." Justin sighed.
"I didn't say you'd act out on your feelings, Justin," He rolled his eyes.
"Wow, mom, way to be lame," Justin said sarcastically, "Is it alright if we drop this?"
"Sure, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," Lynn told him as she stood from the couch, "Are you hungry? I'll make ya something." Justin shook his head and politely declined.
"No thanks, ma," he said softly, "I'm gonna sit on the porch for a little bit." Lynn watched as her son rose from the sofa and practically dragged himself out the door. She smiled softly and turned in the direction of the kitchen.
Justin, however, was seated on the rocking chair outside. He took in the peaceful scene of trees and a small lake ahead of him and scratched beneath his jaw. His hands cautiously grabbed his phone from the clip on his belt loop. He stared at it thoughtfully, wondering if calling Alonsha was a good idea or not. It's been three weeks, so she couldn't be that angry with him anymore. Justin decided to take that reasoning and run with it. His fingers pressed the familiar digits of her cell phone number and he waited patiently for her to pick up.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Aw, man. What the hell is that annoying sound. . .
I groan as the Usher's 'Bad Girl' repeatedly echos through my room and rings in my ear. Who the hell is calling me this freaking earlier in the got damn morning? It's Saturday and for once I don't have to work. I love my job, but it's great to sleep in every once in a while. I should've known something would foil my plan to stay in bed 'til noon, only leaving to grab a snack or use the bathroom.
The thought of murdering whoever's calling crosses my mind as I run my hands over the unoccupied space of the mattress in search of my phone. A sigh of frustration passes my lips as I blindly grab my sheets. At last, my hand rest against the cool plastic covering and the vibration tickles my fingers as I flip it open and press it to my ear.
"What?" I mumble, not bothering to read the caller i.d. screen. I soon regret it.
"Hel. . .hello." His soft voice almost soothes me back into a peaceful sleep before I realize I'm pissed.
"Is there a reason why you called?" I ask bluntly into the phone. I know, I'm a bitch. But it's too early to deal with jackasses.
"Oh. . .um. . ." he stutters, seemingly dumbfounded by my response, "I just wanted to know how everybody is."
"Fine," I answer, "Anything else?"
"How are you?" I snort and flip back onto the bed.
"Justin, it's seven in the morning," I groan, "How do you think I feel?"
"I keep forgetting about the time zones," Justin said apologetically, "I just wanted to know you were okay." I hate it when he pulls that sweet crap. I actually feel bad about being so mean in the beginning of this call.
"I'm fine," I answer sofly, "How are you?"
"I doing alright," he replies, "My throat's fine, so I'll be able to start working on my album again."
"Great," I say, not wanting to be too enthusiastic (I'm still mad at him, remember?), "How's the family doing?"
"Everybody's doing good," Justin gushes, "Johnathan misses you. I think he has a crush." I laugh and run my hand over my face.
"Tell him to call me when he's eighteen," Justin laughs, "So, where's Cameron?" Yeah, I brought up the Debby Downer of the bunch. I just wanted to know if she was hovering over him, recording every word we say.
"She's up in New York. Promotional stuff." I nod even though he can't see me.
"Aren't you suppose to be with her?"
"I'm flying out tomorrow," Justin said, "Look, um. . .I wanted to apologize."
"I'm listening."
"I really put everything on you when none of it was your fault. I guess I just wanted to get the heat taken off of me."
"Well, I guess I should apologize for going on a bitch rant," I sigh, "You're nobody's puppet."
"It's cool," Justin says before a silence falls between us. I try to find something worth discussing, so I give him some news.
"I'm going to Paris," I blurt out suddenly.
"Paris?" Justin repeated, "When are you going?"
"Tonight," I informed him, "Our plane leaves at seven."
"That's cool. It's really beautiful there."
"I've heard," I smile, "Adam's taking me." I can't help but notice the heavy breath Justin expells before speaking again.
"Wow," he tells me, "Any particular reason?"
"I don't know," I confess, "He just said he wanted to make up for all the fighting and crap. Besides, he wants to tell me something 'major'."
"Major?" Justin breathes, "What if he proposes?" Justin asked jokingly.
"What?" I laughed, "It's only been six months, man."
"So?" Justin says, "He's ultra sensitive, remember? He probably feels like he loved you in a past life or something."
"Don't make fun of my boyfriend," I defend, "You're just as sensitive."
"Am not," Justin argued, "I'm nothing like him."
"You'd be surprise how much ya'll have in common," I tell him.
"Don't get dirty, Lonnie." I burst out laughing.
"What are you talking about, you freak?" He chuckles as I fiddle with a loose string on my sheets.
"Forget it," he sighs, "Have fun and don't eat anything in Paris."
"You don't have to tell me twice," I informed him, "But that sucks, I can't even drink the wine."
"Yeah, that does suck," Justin agreed, "Besides snails, that's all you've got." We share a small laugh before our conversation is interrupted by the ringing of my apartment phone.
"Hold on, Justin," I tell him, "Someone's calling my other phone." I quickly switch the devices and sit up straighter.
"Hey, babe," Adam greets before I get to say hello.
"Hey," I answer back, cheesing my ass off in the process, "What's up?"
"Nothing, I just wanted to tell you that Chris is having us come in this afternoon. Nothing major, just the expansion plans."
"Okay," I nod, "What time do we have to be there?"
"Chris says one, I say two." I laugh.
"You have to be on time, Adam," I scold playfully, "Chris is gonna kick your ass one day."
"Please," he scoffed, "You'll protect me." I giggle and shake my head.
"So, I'm your bodyguard now?"
"Damn straight," Adam confirms, "Once you became my girl, you took on the duty as protector." I laugh again before I realize I left Justin hanging.
"Adam, I'm gonna call you back because Justin's on my cell."
"That's okay," Adam says, "I'll see you at the center, alright?"
"Okay," I tell him, "Bye."
"Bye." I hang up and pick up my cell phone.
"Sorry," I apologize, "Adam called."
"Yeah, I heard you giggling and acting all types of girly." I roll my eyes.
"Don't be jealous," I say accusingly.
"Believe me, I'm not," Justin clears his throat, "Look, I've gotta go. Gramps wants to go for a walk."
"Oh okay," I say, "Give everybody my love."
"I will," Justin assures, "It was good talking to you."
"You too," I reply, "Take care of yourself."
"I will." There's a pause and we're both somewhat reluntant to hang up the phone. I finally give in, not wanting to make this even more awkward.
"Well, um. . .bye."
"Yeah," He laughs, "Bye, Lonnie." I quickly hang up and flop back down on the bed, my face sinking into my pillow. I finally realize just how much I missed his stupid ass. . .
Wait a minute, does this mean Justin and I are speaking again?
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
"A walk, huh?" Lynn questioned. Justin jumped in his seat and threw his head back. He fluttered his lips as his mother made her way over to the chair across from him.
"She was talking to Adam," Justin said, "I didn't want her to rush her conversation for me."
"So, is that why you were pouting when she was being 'all types of girly'." She mockingly used air quotations as she crossed her legs and stared at her son.
"How much of the conversation did you hear?" Justin asked. Lynn shrugged.
"I don't know. . ." she said, "I heard you dial the number?" Justin laughed and shook his head.
"Shame on you, mom," he reprimanded, "You're worse than Nana."
"I know," Lynn smiled, "But back to the call."
"What about it?" Justin asked.
"Well, does this mean you and Alonsha are friends?"
"No," Justin sighed, "I don't know. She didn't say anything."
"Well, do you want to be friends?"
"Of course I do," Justin answered, "But Cam. . ."
"Yeah, I know," Lynn rolled her eyes, "That woman is just-"
"My girlfriend," Justin inserted, "Be nice."
"Whatever," Lynn huffed, "I just don't see why you have to go to New York tomorrow."
"Because Cameron wants to see me."
"So does your family."
"I know, mama," Justin whined, "But I was here for three weeks already. I think a week isn't that bad."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Lynn said dismissively, "So, are you telling, Cameron?"
"Telling Cameron what?" Justin asked as he absentmindedly picked at his jeans.
"About the call," Lynn told him, "And how you and Alonsha are working out."
"Where do you get this stuff?" Justin smiled, "I called her, big deal."
"It is," Lynn argued, "Ya'll had a civilized conversation. Besides, I bet Alonsha wouldn't mind being friends again."
"And you know this because. . ."
"Because I know ya'll," Lynn explained, "Stubborness is the problem here."
"Alonsha and I are stubborn?"
"No, Cameron and you are stubborn," Lynn corrected, "Especially Cameron. She needs to realize she's wrong for making you call things off with Alonsha."
"She didn't make me do anything," Justin said, "She just told me some things I overlooked."
"Okay, but even now, after these overlooked things were brought to your attention, you want to be friends with Alonsha, right?"
"Well. . .yes, but-"
"No buts," Lynn interrupted, "You want to be her friend still, but Cameron's getting in the way of that."
"I just don't want to upset Cam," Justin told her, "We're rocky whenever Alonsha's around."
"You're rocky all the time," Lynn pointed out, "She's just using Alonsha as a reason why, rather than getting to the root of the problem."
"And what's the root of the problem?" Justin asked sarcastically, but he was still somewhat interested in his mother's analysis.
"She obviously doesn't trust you, babe."
"She doesn't trust Alonsha."
"That doesn't matter," Lynn told him, "If she trusted you, Alonsha wouldn't be an issue." Justin sat there silently. He knew his mother right. Hell, when Alonsha and him went through the trust problems, he told her the same thing.
"I'm just trying to make things easier," Justin explained. Lynn gave her son a sympathetic look before speaking.
"Just because it's easier, doesn't mean it's right."
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
I couldn't tell you how excited I was when we landed in Paris and headed down to the Etoile Trocadero Hotel. The suite we were in was huge and romantic. Adam and I spent the first night in there, laughing, joking, you-know-what-ing. It was a great start to our little vacation. Tiffany nearly had a heart attack when I first told her. She even had the audacity to tell Adam to place a tracking device on me just in case I decided to run off again.
He didn't, of course, but he held my hand the entire day while we went sight-seeing. After visiting the Eiffel Tower, Etoile, and the Montmartre, we went down to this local resturant. We didn't order anything, but took pictures anyway. Adam and I shared some free bread and sip on water before leaving. It was very sweet of him to give up wine for our trip. I told him he didn't have to, but he insisted on making me as comfortable as possible.
On our third day, we hopped on a train and headed to Spain, which is right next door. We really ate some delicious foods and met some lively people over there. The siestas they have are insane, not to mention to partying nightlife. But our trip ended after an overnight stay and we headed back to France before skipping over to Portugal. Very small and busy over there, but the culture is welcoming. After spending half a day over there, we came back to Paris and spent over remaining four days there.
This is our last night before our flight out tomorrow and I must say, I'm rather reluntant to go. It's so beautiful here, but I guess I'm somewhat homesick. But, as I sit out on our room's balcony, I'm longing for a little more time. The sky is so clear here, making the stars shine three times brighter than usual. The city lights and the warm breeze make it even more enchanting. This kind of reminds me of the view from Justin's room.
Justin. . . I called his cell to let him know I was leaving and I got no call back yet. I guess he's living it up in New York with Cameron. Oh well, I've been on cloud nine since I came here with Adam. He's been amazing these last few days. So sweet and sincere. Not to mention thoughtful in every way possible.
My eyes drift over to his form as he sits across from me at our small balcony table. Candles cause a dancing flame to illuminate our faces in the darkness of the night. His elbow is leaning on the table, his hand supporting his head. He looks like he's in deep thought as his hazel eyes stare up at the scene in front of us. God, he's so handsome. I never took the time to really look at him before, but now. . .I can see all the beauty he possesses. Not only physically, but emotionally too. His heart is so big. It really makes me wonder why he had trouble loving the women in his past.
"What?" Adam smiles as he catches me staring.
"Nothing," I say innocently, "I'm just checking you out." He shyly looks away before his smiles suddenly disappears.
"Alonsha, I have to tell you something," he says softly, his eyes still staring start ahead of him. My heart beat races for a moment at his serious tone and I sit up straighter in my seat.
"Your major issue?" I questioned. He doesn't answer. Instead, he turns in his chair to face me.
"You know the expansion thing Chris has been talking about?" I nod before he continues, "Well, I've been given the offer to move out to one of the new centers in Philly."
"I assume that you've taken this offer."
"Yeah, I have," Adam confirms, "It's home, ya know?" I nod understandingly.
"But that means you leave next week, right?" Great time to tell me this Adam. Brilliant.
"Actually, I leave on Sunday." My chest tightens at the news.
"As in the day after tomorrow?" I asked in disbelief. He stares at me silently, "Well, thanks for the warning, Adam."
"I know, I'm sorry," He sighs, "I just didn't want you to be all sad during this vacation."
"So you wait until the night before we leave to drop this on me?"
"Alonsha, believe me, this is the good part of what I have to say."
"What are you talking about?" I huff.
"I'm breaking up with you," Adam says quickly. My eyes widen and my heart drops to my stomach.
"You're what?" Adam sighs as I try to breathe. This is bullshit. The time when I'm calling this fool handsome and loving his heart, he tells me this.
"Lonnie, these past six months have been wonderful," Adam begins, "I can honestly say that this is the most stable relationship I have ever had."
"Then why are you breaking up with me?" I asked in an annoyed tone.
"Because. . ." he trails off, "I haven't really been honest with you." Oh my goodness. If Adam - I have commitment issues- Harris says what I think he will. . .
"You cheated?" I ask accusingly as my anger begins to rise.
"No, Lonnie, no," Adam assures, "I didn't cheat, I swear."
"Then what the hell?"
"I meant that I haven't been honest with you because I've been lying to myself." I raise a brow as confusion washes over me.
"Adam, can you just. . .tell me?" He runs his hands over his face and he seems to be fighting himself for a moment.
"I think I figured out why I have issues with women."
"Okay. . ." I say cautiously, "What's the problem?"
"I never felt right with any relationship because I always thought the person I was with was wrong for me. So, I'd break up with her and move onto the next. But it's been some never ending cycle. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Boy gets bored and leaves girl. Boy finds another girl."
"So you're bored with me?" I asked innocently. Adam reaches across the table and holds my hand.
"No," he answers, "But that's just the thing. I really, really care about you, but I just don't. . . feel right."
"This is confusing," I sigh.
"I know," Adam agrees, "That's why I sat down and thought about this. I took every relationship I had and tried to figure out what was wrong with them. And I found nothing. I just didn't want to be with the girl anymore. Do you get what I'm saying?"
"No," I admit, "You're not making sense."
"I just don't want to say it bluntly, Alonsha," Adam breathed, "It wasn't the girl's personality. It wasn't so much her appearance. . ."
"Then what was it?" I'm seriously getting aggrevated here. I hate it when people beat around the bush. Just tell me I'm boring you and move on.
"Alonsha. . ." Adam says.
"Adam. . ." I mock. He closes his eyes and begins to speak again.
"This is really hard to say," Adam whispers, "I don't even want to admit to myself." My brows furrow and I give his hand a squeeze."
"Whatever it is, I can handle it," I assure, "Just tell me." Adam glances up at me and for a split second I can see his eyes are glazing over with tears. My face contorts with confusion as Adam lowers his head and stares at a spot on the table. The silence is killing me as I'm patiently waiting for his response. He finally lets out a shaky breath before looking straight into my eyes.
"I'm gay."
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