Deal With The Devil
Well, it's been a week since my little letter discussion with Cameron and I've been nervous the entire time, wondering if she really got rid of the letter. Knowing Cameron, everything I say and do can be used against me, and most likely will. I mean, what if she tells Justin I got all stalker-ish while he was gone and tried to steal his mail? What if she shows him the letter just to spite me? What if . . . I don't know. Something bad will occur. I just know it. I can feel my stomach knot up from time to time when an image of Justin reading my words crosses my mind.
"Okay, I'm going down to the boutique," Tiffany grinned. She loved going to her 'boutique'. Karen and her finally got a little store near Robertson's and she's been on her Diva mode ever since.
"Well, have fun at your . . . boutique," I mumbled, "Call me if you're not coming home, okay?"
"Okay, mama," she teased, walking over and giving me a quick hug. I wrinkled my nose, but hugged her anyway from my spot on the sofa.
"Tell Karen I said 'hi'!" I called to her as she made her way out the door.
"Will do!" With that, the door shut behind her and I looked back down at my laptop. I was proof reading Katrina’s college essay and honestly wasn't doing a good job of it. Every five seconds my mind would drift back to Justin and I'd end up staring at the same line for ten minutes.
"Ugh . . ." I groaned as the buzzer to my apartment sounded and Bosco barked excitedly. I placed my computer on the cushion next to me and unfolded myself from my Indian style sitting position. My feet hit my carpeted floor and dragged along it as I made my way over to the door.
"Tiff, did you forget your keys again?" I asked as I pressed the speak button. To my surprise, it wasn't her.
"It's Justin, Alonsha," he announced. I stiffened and stared at the device, "Could you buzz me in?" I wanted to tell him no, but that would've been rude. Maybe if I don't respond at all, he'll just leave.
"Okay," I replied before unlocking the doors for him. So much for not responding. I thought to myself as I hurriedly ran into the bathroom and gave myself the once over. I adjusted my ponytail and ran my hands over my white t-shirt. The gray shorts I was wearing hiked up and I pulled them down at bit. . . Wait a minute, it's better when they're higher.
I started to hike them back up some, just enough to make him notice, but not enough to cross the line. Bosco started barking again the moment Justin knocked on my door. I skipped down the hall and took deep breaths. I needed to calm down. It was just Justin. . . The man I'm secretly in love with.
"Hey," I greeted with a warm smile as I opened the door for him.
"We have to talk," he stated sternly, entering my apartment. I stared at the empty spot where he once stood and swallowed. That bitch told on me. I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!
"About what?" I asked innocently while pushing the door shut. I locked it before turning to face him.
"Look, I know when I left. . . things were a little weird. I can take blame for that, but what you did was unbelievable."
"Okay. . ." I said, on the verge of tears. I knew he would be angry. I knew he wouldn't feel the same way. . .
"I mean, I know our friendship's been a little off, but I thought we could still talk. . ." he sighed, "But apparently not, since Cameron was the one who told me you were back in LA." The breath I had been holding fell from my mouth and Justin looked at me strangely.
"Oh, that. . ." I said, relieved.
"Yeah, that," Justin repeated, "The bit of information you kept to yourself for a week. Why didn't you call?" I shrugged, still trying to regain a normal heart beat.
"I just. . . I thought with things being the way they were, you didn't want to speak to me," I admitted softly, "You were the one who didn't want to 'jeopardize' you and Cameron." Justin's stern expression faded quickly.
"I'm sorry for saying that," he apologized, "I don't know how I was jeopardizing anything. It was just an awkward moment. It didn't mean anything."
He needs to speak for himself. That awkward moment was the highlight of my year until he left. "You're right."
"Of course I am," Justin said, smiling softly, "I mean, we're friends. No harm there."
"Yep," I agreed with a weak smile.
"So, now that you're here, I guess this weekend will be complete," Justin said, changing the subject abruptly. I was confused, not only by his cheerfulness, but by his words.
"Why?"
"It's going to be June first," he stated, as if I were suppose to know.
"And your point is. . ."
"Trace's wedding!" he explained with a broad grin.
"Oh my goodness, I forgot all about that," I mumbled before Justin playfully tapped my arm.
"How could you forget?" he asked, "Trace would've been heart broken and Elisha would've whooped your ass if they heard you say that." I shrugged, my hand running over the spot that he just touched. Not because it hurt, but just because. . .
"Well, now that I remember, I have to find something appropriate to wear," I informed him.
"Today's your lucky day then, Beautiful," he smiled, "I'm taking you shopping."
"I can't," I declined quickly, "I have an essay to-"
"Blah, blah, blah. . ." Justin interrupted, "It'll be here when you get back."
"But I promised I'd have it done by three."
"Is that the essay?" Justin pointed to the laptop on the sofa beside him.
"Yeah, I was gonna e-mail it to her."
"Take it with you," Justin suggested, "You can work on it while we're driving around town."
"I guess," I said with uncertainty, "Justin, I really shouldn't though."
"Lonnie. . ." he whined.
"Justin. . ." I mocked.
"Please?" he pouted, "Please?" As innocent as his baby face was, sex was the first thing that popped into my head when he begged.
"No," I protested weakly, "I know I won't get anything done with you around."
"What's that suppose to mean?" Justin asked, as though he were offended.
"We're gonna talk and talk and talk and I'll forget about the poor girl's paper."
"That's not true." I shoot him a look and he smirked, "Okay, so maybe it's true."
"See?" I asked rhetorically, "I can't. Maybe tomorrow."
"But I want to go now." He squirmed like an impatient five-year-old, "Lonnie, please?"
"Justin-" I began to reprimand, but stop the moment he grabbed me, pulling me against his chest in a bear hug.
"I really missed you, Beautiful and I'd love to spend the day with you," he told me sweetly. My arms wrapped around his waist and I squeezed him back.
"Fine," I relented, "Just let me go change." Justin lets go of me petite frame and smiled brightly.
"Okay." I rolled my eyes playfully before turning around. As I slowly make my down the hall, my heart still raced in my chest. He really has no idea what he does to me. A simply hug. A few sweet words. . .
I really love that boy too much.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
"Alonsha Claire Daniels." Oh no he didn't. "Yes I did." I rolled my eyes before poking my head out of my fitting room door.
"Will you stop doing that?"
"Doing what?" he asked innocently.
"Reading my damn mind."
"It's not my fault you're predictable," he shot back.
"I am not," I impugned.
"Are to."
"Am-"
"Not?" Justin interrupted. I narrowed my eyes at him, "See, I finished your sentence."
"That's only because we always do that back and forth thing."
"So, it's predictable," Justin said, "Just like you."
"Well, you do it too," I pouted.
"Hey, I never said I wasn't predictable." I stared at him blankly before rolling my eyes. He smiled in my direction and a smirk came across my face before I could stop it.
"I hate you."
"Love you too," he replied, "Oh and hurry up. We're on a schedule."
"Since when?" I asked as I retreated back into my secluded fitting area, replaying his 'love you too' in my head..
"Since my stomach started growling," Justin chuckled, "I'm hungry, so lets get moving."
"Okay, okay," I said as I quickly removed the jeans and t-shirt I had been wearing before slipping on the double v- flair dress I had picked out. The cranberry red was different from my usual black, but Justin said he liked the color.
"Are you done-" I stepped out of the fitting room, self-consciously tugging at the dress, "Yet. . ." I looked up at Justin and felt my stomach knot up when his eyes looked over me.
"Damn, do I look that bad?" I asked jokingly.
"No, you look. . ." He paused and I smiled, feeling my ego boost, "Really good." I twirled around a bit and looked in the full-length mirror on the front of the door.
"Then I guess I'll take this."
"Good, now we can get some food." I nodded in agreement before rushing back into the fitting room to change. When I finished, Justin was nowhere in sight. I looked around the small shop and spotted him at a nearby register. He was buying something. I knew he couldn't go into a store without doing so, but I was surprised to see it was the same dress in my hands.
"Is that for Lynn?" I asked.
"Nope," he answered, signing his name at the bottom of the credit card receipt, "It's for you."
"But I already have one."
"Yeah, this one," He held up the bag in his hands.
"Justin-" My protest was cut short when he took the dress from my hands and gave it to the cashier.
"We won't be needing this, thank you," he told her politely. She nodded and walked off with the garment. Justin turned and offered me his hand. I wanted to take it, but I stubbornly slapped away.
"You know I hate it when you buy me stuff."
"Which is why I bought it before you could stop me." He once again offered his hand to me and rolled my eyes.
"I hate you," I mumbled as he took hold of my fingers.
"You say it, but you don't mean it." He opened the door and I walked through with him trailing behind me, "If it'll make you feel any better, you can buy us lunch."
"Okay," I told him, "Now, where's the closest McDonald's?" Justin laughed heartily as we approached his car.
"Mickey D's?" he asked, still laughing. I chuckled as I he opened the back door, placing my bag inside.
"What?" I questioned, feigning innocence. Justin opened the passenger side door and waited for me to climb in.
"Nothing," he assured with a huge grin, "But Mickey D's?" He laughed to himself as he shut my door. I watched him as he walked over to the driver's side.
"Yeah, Mickey D's," I repeated as he finally climbed into his Escalade.
"You are so cheap," he laughed.
"How am I cheap?" I was fighting the smile on my face, but I was losing, "I would've let you super sized it."
"Oh, lucky me!"
"Shut up," I smiled, "You are so ungrateful."
"'Cause I don't appreciate Mickey D's?"
"Okay, if you don't want Mickey, we can do Wendy's."
"What if we do neither one?" Justin chuckled.
"Fine, but I can cook when I get home. You'll just starve." Justin sucked his teeth and pulled out of the parking spot.
"I was gonna offer take out and a movie, but I guess I'll just do that by myself."
"I guess so."
"Alonsha!" Justin whined. I laughed.
"Fine, we can get Chinese and chill," I relented, "But I have to finish that essay first."
"Sure, whatever you say, Lon." I glanced over at Justin and caught the small grin that came across his face.
"I'm serious," I told him, "Essay first."
"Okay," Justin laughed, "Whatever you say."
"Stop it."
"What?"
"Giving me that look," I pouted.
"What look?" he asked innocently, "I have a look?"
"You always have a look," I told him, "And your current one is saying 'you're not doing that essay.'"
"Well, that's your interpretation," he said with a shrug. I narrowed my eyes at him, but he seemed to be focusing on the road. I turned toward my window and stared at the fleeting images of LA and its pedestrians. We were driving for a while in a comfortable silence until we came to a red light. I was still staring out the window, but could feel Justin's eyes burning a hole into the back of my head. I became extremely self-conscious beneath his stare, but never faced him.
"Can I help you?" I asked. When he didn't say anything, I turned from the window and looked at him. He was staring ahead, as if there was nothing wrong.
"What?" he asked as he began to drive again when the light turned green.
"You were the one staring at me."
"How could you possibly know that if you were staring out the window?"
"How do you know I was staring out the window if you weren't staring at me?" I countered.
"Shut up," he said, laughing lightly.
"Stop ogling me and I will."
"What's ogling?" His face contorted with confusion, but his smile remained.
"Ogling is what you were doing."
"Ogling doesn't even exist."
"Neither does your ass, but you still think it's there."
"I have an ass."
"No, you have an elongated back."
"Shut up," he laughed.
"Make me," I challenged with a smirk.
"Do you like fighting me?"
"Do you like fighting me?"
"You can't answer a question with a question."
"Who made up that rule?"
"Somebody who obviously had annoying people like you in their lives."
"Kiss my ass, Timberlake."
"I'd rather kick it." I glared at him as he chuckled.
"Go to hell."
"Save me a seat?" He wiggled his eyebrows a bit and I laughed.
"You know it."
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Alonsha and Justin were an hour into 'White Chicks' and laughing as they shared General Tso's Chicken and Shrimp Lo Mien. He glanced over at her as she smiled at one of the scenes. Her pinchable cheeks narrowed her eyes as she did so and Justin found it absolutely adorable.
"What did I say about ogling me?" Justin laughed lightly and tiredly picked himself up from the floor.
"Fine, I'll stop," he yawned as he stretched. His back cracked and Alonsha wrinkled her nose.
"Damn, grandpa."
"Shut up," he told her for the millionth time that day. She went to slap his leg, but he moved away in time. After sticking his tongue out at her, he headed for the kitchen.
"Jay, get me some iced tea."
"Get yourself some iced tea."
"C'mon, man. . ." she whined.
"Fine," he relented with a swift roll of his blue eyes.
"I saw that," Alonsha said, facing the television.
"Good." Justin laughed the moment she sucked her teeth and continued his journey into his lavish kitchen. He headed straight for the silver double doors of his fridge and pulled one side open. He spotted a Lipton Iced Tea can and an Apple Snapple. After grabbing them both, he strolled back out to the living room.
"Thanks," Alonsha said, taking the can he offered to her before he plopped down next to her.
"What did I miss?"
"A little bit of the fashion show, nothing major."
"Cool," Justin mumbled distractedly, his attention back on the screen.
"HA!" Alonsha laughed as Sean Wayne ran right into another model. Justin looked over at her and laughed. Not because of the scene, but because of that contagious cackle.
"Oh my goodness," Justin chuckled when Marlin knocked over a couple of models right off the stage. Alonsha giggled hysterically and caused Justin to laugh even harder. His vision was on her and stayed, even when she looked back at him, an eyebrow raised.
"What?"
"Nothin'," Justin smiled, "I just really missed you. . . This."
"That's the millionth time you've told me that," Alonsha reminded with a smirk.
"Well, I'm gonna keep saying it 'cause it's the truth. I really missed you."
"Uh huh. . ." Alonsha chuckled, "This isn't gonna turn into some chick flick moment, is it? 'Cause that would just confirm a shitload of rumors." Justin laughed and shoved her playfully.
"Fuck you, Lonnie."
"Love you. . ." Alonsha quickly added, "Too. Love you too." Justin's brow furrowed in confusion, but he continued to smile her way.
"What was that about?"
"What?" she asked innocently.
"That stutter fest you just had." Alonsha narrowed her eyes at him.
"I was just trying to show you some love, man." Justin rolled his eyes.
"I don't need your phony love," he pouted, "You treat me like garbage."
"What?" she asked in disbelief, "I treat you like garbage?"
"Yeah," he said, trying to fight off his grin, "You always have and you always will." Alonsha stared at him before nodding.
"Yeah, that's true." He laughed and shook his head disappointedly.
"You're terrible."
"So are you."
"No, I'm sure it's just your evil ass."
"You should talk, demon seed." That caused Justin gasp dramatically before sending him into a giggle fit.
"Demon seed. . ." he repeated, "I like that." Alonsha rolled her eyes playfully and turned back to the movie.
"You are so weird," she mumbled, sipping her tea, "I really wonder why we're friends."
Me too. . . Justin thought as he looked over her features. She seemed more beautiful than she ever had in that moment. It made Justin's body ache with a familiar need, but cleared his throat and turned away from her. Then, as if God was sending him a sign, his cell rang. He turned around and grabbed it off of the coffee table behind him. Justin didn't even have to look at the screen to know who it was. The ring tone had told him all he needed to know.
"Hey, Cameron," he greeted, "How was the appointment?"
"Fine," she answered with a shortness of breath, "The doctor says the baby's fine."
"Good," Justin smiled, "I was worried since he called on such short notice and all."
"Yeah, me too," Cameron replied, "So, how are you? What'd you do all day?"
"I'm good," he looked over at Alonsha, "I didn't really do much. I went shopping for. . . stuff."
"Stuff? What stuff?"
"Nothing, just a little something for the wedding."
"I thought you bought gifts."
"I did," Justin replied, "But you know how I am. I can't stop shopping once I start." He looked down the moment Alonsha glanced at him, confusion written on her face.
"You shopped alone?" Cameron asked. Justin cleared his throat and shrugged even though she couldn't see him.
"You know I'm never alone," he said, laughing lightly, "I always have fifty paparazzi dudes behind."
"Right," she giggled, "Look, I'm heading over to my mom's, so I won't be back until tomorrow."
"Okay," he told her without a second thought.
"Okay. . . I'll call you tomorrow then," Cameron said, "I love you."
Justin idly played with his sock covered foot before softly responding, "I love you too."
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
I was sitting at the kiddy table in the reception hall, watching all the couples on the dance floor, shaking to the beats of the Pussy Cat Dolls. Everybody else was mingling, glasses of champagne in their hands. I glanced down at the sparkling grape juice in my glass and wrinkled my nose before looking back up in time to spot Lynn being spun around by Paul, her orange dress flowing along with her. A smile came across my lips as they laughed when he pulled her back into chest, giving her a peck on the lips.
That's what I want. I want what they have. I want it with Justin. But I can't have it. No matter how many times I dream about it. No matter how many times Tiffany and Allison tell me I deserve it. No matter how much I long for him to want it too. . . It's not going to happen. I let my chance go the moment I stepped foot on that plane.
"Smile!" Despite the fact that she gave me a heart attack, I smiled at Rachel as she snapped a photograph of me. "Oh, that was so cute!" She quickly showed me the image on the screen on her digital camera and I nodded approvingly before she scurried off again.
"Damn, I hate it when she does that." I turned and saw Justin pulling up a chair beside me. He grunted as he settled, stretching his long legs ahead of him. "She has about twenty pictures of me that look like this." He widened his eyes and gives me a deer-in-headlights look that causes me to laugh.
"Well, my picture wasn't that bad, actually."
"That's because you think you look good in everything." I gasped dramatically and he laughed. "You do know this is the kiddy table, don't you?" I chuckled softly and rolled my eyes.
"First of all, you have some nerve. If anybody thinks they look good in everything, it's your cocky ass," he laughed, "And second of all, I do know this is the kiddy table. I just figured since I have to drink like one of the kids, I might as well sit with them."
"Aw, that's terrible," Justin smiled, "You should make a drinking exception. This is a special occasion."
"I know, but I don't want to slip up," I said softly, "Besides, this stuff isn't bad." Justin wrinkled his nose the same way I had earlier and looked me straight in the eyes.
"Girl, stop lying." I laughed heartily, as did he.
"Shut up," I whined, "Stop hatin' on my grape juice."
"You know, I could make fun of that statement and argue with you for half an hour, but I won't," Justin said, standing, "That'll just be a waste of precious dance time. Let's go." He extended his hand to me and I immediately declined.
"Boy, you know I have two left feet."
"And you know I'm gonna end up dancing with you anyway," he shot back, "Now get your beautiful self up and dance with me." I smiled softly and, being the sucker that I am, slipped my hand into his. He led us to the dance floor and found a spot next to Lynn and Paul.
"If you lose a foot, don't say I didn't warn you." He laughed and took both my hands in his, keeping us a fair distance apart. R. Kelly's 'Step In the Name of Love' remix blared through the speakers and he did his best to guide me through it. We laughed as we slowly and painfully got through every verse.
"How could you not know how to do this?" Justin asked with a huge grin, "The man is telling you 'step, step; side to side.'" I sucked my teeth, but laughed.
"Shut up! It's hard."
"If you're special."
"Kiss my-"
"Hey," Lynn interrupted, "You're letting him rub off on you." Justin huffed and pouted at his mother as we both laughed at his childish behavior.
"See, this is why ya'll can't be around each other," he complained, "Always pickin' on me. . ."
"Aw," I cooed, not only because of how adorable his southern accent sounded, but because he just so cute, "I'm sowwy."
"Or so you claim," he scoffed. I found his melodramatic tone funny and laughed softly, causing him to crack a smile.
"Oh. . ." Lynn sighed, "I love this song." I could here the soft melody of a guitar and drums. I looked around and noticed everyone coupling up. My eyes finally traveled to Justin and he smiled softly.
"You wanna sit this one out?"
"Sure, if that's what you want."
"No, it's not, I just thought you were tired or something. . ."
"Shut up and dance." We turned in the direction of the voice and saw that Trace and Elisha had finally made their way over to us. Elisha winked and gestured for us to move closer to each other. I felt like the dorky teenager I used to be as he slowly slipped his arm around my waist while taking a hold of one of my hands. I wrapped my arm around his waist as well, closing the space between us as I rested my cheek against his chest.
Don't you know that I want to be more that just your friend. . .
Oh dear Lord. What was this? Some planned out song? Why did we have to dance to this song?
Holding hands is fine
But I've got better things on my mind. . .
I look over at our connected hands that are raised mid-air. I haven't stopped thinking about the warmth of his palm or the feel of his skin against mine from the moment they connected.
You know it could happen
If you'd only see me in a different light. . .
Did somebody write this song for me? They had to. It just fits so perfectly.
Baby when we finally get together
You will see that I was right. . .
Okay, so maybe this song wasn't meant for me. For Justin and I. We already got together and I ruined, so it'll never happen again. But Lord knows I'd give anything for him to-
Say you love me
You know that it could be nice. . .
"Move." I'm ripped from my thoughts and Justin's body by somebody's grip on my arm. My brow furrowed in anger and confusion when I saw Cameron was to blame. I yanked my arm from her hand and I could hear Justin sigh.
"Cameron, what are you doing?" he asked.
"I'm trying to dance with my fiancé." She shoved herself between us, knocking my to the side. My first reaction was to kick her ass for putting her filthy hands on me, but I remembered she was pregnant.
"All you had to do was ask," I said through gritted teeth.
"And all you have to do is get your own man," she shot back.
"Don't do this," Justin groaned.
"What? Dance with you?" She smiled as she slithered her arms around his neck, "You used to love dancing with me." I wanted to laugh the moment Justin's face contorted with disgust when she moved into his face, but the look of concern that came afterward stopped me.
"Have you been drinking?" The question seemed to peak every person within ten feet of them, especially me.
"What?" Cameron said, "Of course not."
"I can smell it on your breath." He pulled away from her, "You're pregnant. You're not supposed to drink." Justin was stating the obvious, but with the panicked look on Cameron's face, you wouldn't be able to tell.
"I. . .I. . ." She looked around at all the faces before I saw her eyes glaze over with tears.
"You what?!" Justin exclaimed, scaring the hell out of everybody.
"Don't you three start," Lynn stated firmly, glaring at the three of us.
"I-" My whining was cut short the moment she looked at me.
"Don't say a word. This is Trace and Elisha's day. We all worked too hard to get here and I refuse to let it be ruined. If you guys have to talk, take it elsewhere. You're making a scene." Justin bit down on his lip before grabbing Cameron's wrist. He led her out quickly and I slowly made way back over to the kiddy table, feeling everybody's eyes on me as I did so. When I took a seat, I grabbed myself a clean glass and poured myself some sparkler. I took a sip and, as I expected, it did nothing for me. I could really use a real drink.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
The next day I found myself sprawled across my bed. The rays of the sun warmed my face and I groaned as I pulled the covers over my head. Don't get it twisted, I didn't have a hangover, I'm just so damn tired. I spent most of the night and early a.m.'s at Trace's reception before being the designated driver for a couple I didn't even know. Lynn begged me, so how could I not give them a ride? Anyway, Justin had disappeared for the rest of the night. When I did see him, he was slipping into the backseat of his Escalade with Cameron, which is the reason why I'm tired. I spent about four hours in bed, wide-awake and wondering what was said when they left the room. I was worried that Cameron had somehow twisted things around so that I would be the bad guy again. That would explain why he didn't talk to me through the remainder of the party.
"Alonsha Claire Daniels, you better not have a hangover!" Tiffany's screams made my ears ring before I yanked my blanket down to glare at her.
"What the hell are you yelling for?" I asked groggily.
"'Cause if you had a hangover, that would've killed you," she answered cheerfully.
"Well, I don't have a fuckin' hangover, but you nearly popped my ear drum."
"Oh," she said, "Anyway, how was the par-tay?" I rolled my eyes and pulled the blanket back over my face.
"Can we discuss this at a reasonable hour?"
"Two-forty-three in the afternoon isn't a reasonable hour?"
"No."
"Too bad," Tiffany told me, pulling the blanket from my body.
"What the fuck!"
"Get up, bitch," she commanded, "You don't have all day."
"Yes, I do," I impugned, "Give me my damn blanket."
"Come and get it."
"Keep it, fucker." I flipped onto my stomach and buried my face into my pillow.
"Lon. . ." she whined, "C'mon! I'm so bored."
"I'm tired."
"But I'm bored. . ."
"Go bother Scott."
"I can't," I can just hear the pout on her, "He's at home, remember?"
"And why didn't you go with him again?"
"Lon. . ."
"Okay!" I yelled, "You are so fuckin' annoying." She seemed completely unfazed by my words as she squealed happily. I slowly rolled onto my back and closed my eyes.
"So. . ."
"It was fun. The wedding was beautiful. The reception was fun. I danced. I came home. End of story." She didn't seem satisfied, but I could care less.
"Who did you dance with?"
"Justin." And she gasped like the drama queen she is.
"Oh, so was it dirty dancing or was it a slow, seduction kinda dance?" What?
"What are you talking about?" I asked, annoyed, "We danced. Well, tried. You know I'm rhythm impaired."
"Was there a slow dance?"
"Yes," I answered, "But that was ruined by the ice queen herself."
"Ugh, what did the bitch do this time?"
"Yanked me off of him and told me to get my own man," I pouted, "Which I need to do since Justin's off limits."
"Oh, don't you dare listen to that cow," Tiffany stated firmly, "She's the one who has your man."
"He's not mine."
"Yet."
"Tiffany-"
"What did you do?" she interrupted, "Please tell me you smacked her."
"She's pregnant," I reminded, "Even though she didn't mind when she downed some drinks."
"What?" she asked in disbelief.
"I don't know, but Justin said he smelled alcohol on her breath and pulled her out of there when Lynn yelled at us."
"Ha! Cameron's gonna get the boot."
"Nope," I sighed, "I saw them leaving together–holding hands."
"Are you kidding me?"
"I wish I was," I said, "But I wasn't expecting a break up. He loves her."
"Oh god. . ." Tiffany rolled her eyes.
"Well, he does," I told her, "Why else would he choose her over me, once again?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, he kinda avoided me for the rest of the night. I don't know. . . Maybe I'm just taking it the wrong way, you know?"
"Or maybe somebody lost his Timberballs." I laughed and playfully slapped her arm as she plopped down on my bed.
"Leave him alone."
"Fine," she smiled, "But call him. See what's going on." I shook my head.
"I don't want to," I pouted, "He should be calling me."
"Yeah, but he hasn't."
"Which is a sure sign he doesn't want to talk to me."
"Which is even more reason to call him and find out why."
"You're right," I told her, "I'll give him until tomorrow to call me. If not, I'll call him." Tiffany nodded.
"Cool," she said, "Now that that's out of the way and since you're wide awake now. . ." I narrowed my eyes suspiciously and she smiled brightly.
"What do you want?" I asked cautiously.
"Girl, I am so hungry," she moaned, "Could you please make me something? I nearly died when you didn't make breakfast this morning." I chuckled and pushed her off of my bed.
"You are pathetic," I said jokingly.
"But you love me." I rolled my eyes and climbed out of bed.
"Yeah, unfortunately." She sucked her teeth and pouted. I just shook my head and continued down the hall towards the bathroom. I swear, that girl would die without me.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
At 4 p.m. I got the call of a lifetime from Cameron. As if I wasn't shocked by the call itself, what was said was even more surprising.
She wanted to talk.
About what; I don't know. I was so close to declining, but I figured that whatever she had to say had to be good if she was willing to call me and have a decent conversation. So, I got dressed, told Tiff (who eyes practically popped out of her head), and jumped into my Honda, heading straight for Justin's place. When I got there, I stayed in the car for a while, contemplating whether or not this was a trick. She was Cameron Diaz. A hit man could've been hired and waiting for me to step out with my guard down.
A shiver ran down my spine, but I stepped out of the car anyway, slowly and cautiously. As I quickly made my way over to the door, I was glancing over my shoulder like someone was really following me, but I stopped the moment the door swung open and Cameron stood before me.
"Come in," she said, holding the door open for me.
"Where's Justin?" I asked as I took off my sneakers in the foyer before walking inside living area.
"He's in the kitchen." I door shut behind me. "We can talk upstairs."
"Cam, is that Alonsha?" I heard Justin call from the kitchen.
"Yeah!" I answered. In a matter of moments, Justin was walking towards me, a grin spread across his gorgeous face.
"Hey," he greeted, giving me a hug, "Sorry about yesterday. I was gonna call you, but Cameron volunteered." I glanced over at Cameron who was standing by the stairs. When I looked back at Justin, he was looking at her with sad eyes. That's when I began to sense the tension in the room.
"It's cool," I said, breaking the silence.
"Yeah, I was going to show Alonsha the nursery," Cameron broke in. Justin nodded and looked down at me with a smile.
"You'll love it," he gushed, "The baby blue is so cute."
"Did you say it was cute?" I asked jokingly. He rolled his eyes and playfully nudged me with his elbow.
"Shut up," he said, "Go up and see. I'll make some Skillet Sensations in the mean time." I chuckled and watched as he made his way into the kitchen again. Once he was out of view, I turned to Cameron.
"Show me the nursery?" I questioned, "I thought we had to talk."
"We do, just not in front of him." She started up and I quickly followed. What the hell was she talking about 'not in front of him'?
"Look, I'm not a fan of keeping things from Justin," I told her, "If you can't say it to him, don't say it to me." By this time, we've made our way into Justin's master bedroom. Cameron flopped down on his king sized bed and sighed.
"Could you shut the door?" I pushed it closed and stood defensively.
"What's this about?"
"Look, you saw what happened last night," Well, duh, "I did a lot of pleading with Justin so he wouldn't kick my ass."
"Okay, what's your point?"
"The point is, the only reason why he's even looking at me is because I promised to go to the doctor with someone and make sure the baby's okay."
"Still looking for the point."
"Well, I wanted you to go with me." My eyes widened and I took a step back.
"Why me?" I asked, "Justin's the father."
"I know, but I know he'll be up my ass the whole time and I can't deal with that."
"Well, go with someone else," I said, "Try asking a friend."
"Justin won't let me," she pouted, "He said that I 'obviously don't care enough to go on my own' and a friend would lie for me."
"Then I guess Justin's you're only option."
"I already told you why I couldn’t go with him."
"Oh please, Cameron. Justin whines all the time. That's not a good enough reason not to take him with you." She went to speak, but nothing came out but a deep sigh.
"Look, he can't go with me because. . ." she trailed off, leaving me curious.
"Because of what?" The long pause that followed almost made me walk out of the room and call it a day, but when I saw her tears, I felt the need to know.
"Theresnobaby." Her whispered words were barely audible.
"What?"
"There's no baby," she repeated, louder and more annoyed than before, but I still couldn't believe my ears.
"No baby?" I asked loudly.
"Shhh!" she hissed, "Damn it."
"Don't shush me," I told her angrily, "What the hell do you mean there's no baby?"
"I was never pregnant," she explained, "There was no baby from the beginning." Oh, so she's one of those women that trap their men. I should've known that bitch wasn't pregnant.
"I don't believe you," I sneered, "I knew you were some kind of evil, but this is crossing the line."
"Alonsha, you don't understand-"
"No, I do," I interrupted, "You've been lying to everybody for almost a month now. You've been lying to yourself. You made up this whole thing just to-"
"I didn't make it up!" she cried, "They mixed up my test results with someone else. I just found out last week, okay?" She stood and began to pace.
"Why don't you tell Justin? This isn't fair to him."
"Oh yeah, I'll just tell him the one thing that's keeping up together doesn't even exist," she said sarcastically.
"Yeah, you will," I stated firmly, "You're not going to keep this pregnant act up."
"Oh, like you're not going to keep that 'friends only' act up?" she shot back.
"That's completely different," I told her.
"How?" she asked, "If Justin finds out about my secret, he'll hate me. Much like he'll hate you."
"You-"
"Know exactly what I'm talking about?" she inserted, "Admit it, Alonsha. You know things between you guys would be ruined if he found out. That's why you don't want him to know." Well, thanks for that bit of info Captain Obvious.
"You're lying to him. You're pretending to be pregnant."
"You're lying too. Pretending that you and him are just friends. Pretending that you don't want us to end."
"As long as he's happy, I don't care who he's with."
"Yeah, but you wish he were with you."
"I'm telling him," I state defiantly, "I won't let you trap him like this."
"Fine, tell him," Cameron said, "But if I go down, you go with me." I narrowed my eyes at her and she smiled smugly.
"I know you're not blackmailing me."
"Well, I guess you don't know much," she growled, "If you tell him that I'm not pregnant, I'll let him read your letter."
"I thought you got rid of that!"
"Oh please," she huffed, "Get rid of the one thing that can make or break you?"
"You lied to me."
"Suck it up." She stepped toward me, "If you go down there and squeal like a bitch, I'll tell him you're just trying to break us up and show him the letter. If that doesn't work, we still lose. He'll hate me for this and he'll hate you even more for not telling him how you feel." I felt the familiar stinging of tears, but refused to let them fall.
"Fine," I relented, "I won't tell him."
"Good," she smiled, "My 'appointment' is suppose to be at three tomorrow, so come by and pick me up." I shook my head sadly, disappointed in myself for being so weak.
"Okay, I'll be here."
"Good," she grinned, "Now, pretend to be happy. We're having dinner." She walked past me and opened the bedroom door, "Are you coming?" I rolled my eyes and walked towards her. She let me pass through before following close behind. I can't believe I just did that, but he can't know. I love Justin and I know I should be honest despite the consequences, but I can't risk losing him. He means too much to me. . .
"Damn, finally," I heard Justin complain as I jogged down the stairs, "How long does it take to look at a nursery?"
"Well, I was just explaining everything," Cameron said sheepishly. Ugh, how could she just smile in his face like that? If only her acting was this good on screen.
"Yeah," I chipped in, "I love the color."
"See, I told you!" Justin said excitedly, "My baby's gonna have the best room. All the other newborns are gonna be so jealous." I smiled weakly at his happiness and followed him as he led us into the kitchen.
"Smells good," Cameron commented as she made her way over to the stove. Justin smacked her hand away from the pot and turned to me.
"I felt like you for a moment," he chuckled. I smiled, but Justin saw past it, "Are you okay? You seem sad." The look of concern that crossed his features made me want to confess, but I swallowed down my guilt and waved him off.
"I'm good," I lied, "Let's eat." Justin nodded and walked over to the dish rack to grab some plates. I looked up and saw Cameron gesturing for me to smile. I flipped her off discreetly before Justin handed me a plate. The Skillet Sensations looked really good and smelled even better, but I wasn't really hungry. In fact, I felt sick. Sick enough to want to vomit.
"Dig in, girl," Justin encouraged while handing me a fork. I thanked him before scooping some food into my mouth. This was pointless. No matter how much I ate, I knew I'd never feel full. I had sold my soul to the devil herself and no amount of Skillet Sensations could ever fill that void.
Song Credit:
"Say You Love Me" - MYMP
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