Back To Square One
Justin groaned in frustration as his eyes drooped tiredly from his lack of sleep. He had spent the whole night trying to contact Cameron and arguing with her. It had been a week since that dreadful dinner and Cam still isn't talking to him. She's hell bent on the idea that Alonsha is the trouble starter. She even had the audacity to tell Justin not to speak to her again. This, of course, only caused another argument when Justin refused, saying it was his decision to be friends with whoever he wanted. Cameron told him he was right, but said she was going to ignore him until he "came to his senses.”
Justin wanted to scream. He loved Cameron, but he really wanted him and Alonsha to work out their friendship. But Alonsha probably couldn't tell by his behavior. He decided to avoid her, which wasn't hard, except when she called his phone and he had to ignore the call. The last thing he wanted was to add to the list of people who wanted their friendship to fail. Even his mother told him to "be careful.”
"Justin!" Trace's voice boomed through his ears and he jumped in surprise, nearly knocking his desk over.
"What?" Justin asked annoyed as the pounding in his chest slowed.
"I've been calling you for ten minutes, man," Trace informed him with a smile, "You high or somethin'?" Justin shook his head and rubbed his eyes.
"Nah., it's just Cam again." Trace gave him a sympathetic look and patted his back.
"She still not talkin' to ya, huh?" Justin nodded and rolled his eyes.
"She's being really immature about this," Justin sighed, "Once again." Trace laughed.
"But she doesn't know the whole story yet," Trace explained, "Because of a certain someone."
"Nope, it's not me this time," Justin argued, "I offered to tell her the other side of things, but she said she didn't want to hear another lie." With a shrug, Trace sat on the edge of Justin's large, oak desk, his eyes glancing over the many awards that decorated his office.
"Sounds familiar," Trace mumbled, only to receive a glare from Justin, "Maybe she just needs that extra boost." Justin looked down at the blank page in his song book and nodded.
"Well, maybe I should go down to her house and talk to her," He stood from his leather chair and Trace followed him out the door and down the stairs into the living room.
"Good idea," he encouraged, "I'm going down the Best Buy with Elisha to pick up a few things, so I'll see ya later, man." Trace informed him as they went their separate ways out of the door.
"Alright," Justin called over his shoulder, "Call me or something. I'll give you the details." Trace laughed and shuffled through his pockets for his keys.
"You are such a girl!" Justin laughed and flipped him off before jumping inside of his Mercedes.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
So, Justin hasn't spoken to me in over a week and I swear, if I hear 'This is Justin, sorry I can't get to the phone right now. . .' one more time, I'm going to kick someone's ass. I just don't get it. He wants to work it out and then, he suddenly wants to abide by Cameron's request and stay away from me. God, she just pisses me off. Justin and I try to work things out, and here she comes with her two cents, bringing us back to square one all over again.
"You look like hell in a skirt," Adam commented as he sat across from my desk, placing a Dunkin Donuts bag and coffee in front of me. The scent of the French vanilla brew lifts my senses and I sit up in my swivel chair, not bothering to thank Adam for his service.
"Adam, please," I grumbled as I dug through the bag. He laughs and puts his hands up in surrender.
"Whoa, sorry," He reaches over and places his hand over mine, leaning down and pouting, "Are you having a lady day?" As soon as the words leave his mouth, I roll my eyes. The fact of the matter is, I was. But I wasn't going to tell him that.
"Shut your face, okay?" His hearty laugh rumbles through his throat and it's as contagious as ever. I smile and mentally kick myself for my weakness.
"Okay, I'm sorry," he apologized, leaning back into his chair again, "Let me make it up to you." I looked away from my sausage and cheese bagel sandwich and into his eyes.
"I'm listening," I assure him. He smiles shyly and I look at him suspiciously.
"Well, maybe you can swing by my place tonight," he said, turning his gaze to a spot on my desk, "We can order Chinese and watch some movies or something."
"Is this like a date?" I asked curiously. His eyes instantly bulge in panic and I stifle a laugh.
"Well, no. . . I mean, if that's what you want it to be, I wouldn't mind, but I'm just saying, it can be strictly platonic. . ." He rambled on helplessly and I found it to be extremely adorable.
"It can be a date," I interrupt, "I wouldn't mind at all either." His face turns rosy and he smiles that goofy grin of his.
"Cool," He nods to himself and stands, "Well, I can swing by your place and pick you up." I nod in agreement and smile.
"Yeah, that would be great." He licks his lips and smiles again, slowly drifting toward the door.
"Okay, cool, cool. . ." He waves awkwardly, "See ya tonight."
"Okay," I say and he walks out, only to pop back in a few seconds later.
"I kinda need your address." I giggle and search for a stray piece of paper. I pull open my draws and find a baby blue envelope. As I pull out the card inside, the memory comes back to me. Kyle gave this to me when he informed me of Natalie's unplanned pregnancy. I've been meaning to contact him, but I didn't have any of his information. I search the card for an address and sure enough, it was there, bright as day.
"Oh, I'm sorry," I apologized, remembering Adam was waiting for my address. I quickly remove the card from the envelope, tucking it away. I take the envelope and scribble my address on the back of it, handing it over to Adam.
"Alright, I'll swing by around seven," Adam said. I nod and smile.
"Okay, I can't wait," He smiles and blushes again before exiting. As soon as the door is shut, my eyes land on the invitation in my hand. I want to talk to him and apologize for my stressful outburst that day. Then again, I showing up at people's front door always seems to backfire. But how could Kyle be mad? He's the one that screwed me over. So what if I basically told him to go screw himself? So what if I told him I was sending out a prayer for his, then, unborn child because their father was a bastard and their mother was a whore. . .
Damn, that was harsh. God, I was such an idiot before I left. But that's what I want to change. I need to reconcile with the people I hurt and vice versa.
Before I realize it, I'm in my car, slowly reversing out of my parking spot. I glance down at the address on the card in my hand and make a left up north Hope Street. As I searched for the eight hundred blocks, I tried to think of ways to introduce myself. I even prayed that Natalie wouldn't open the door. I finally spotted 813 and pulled over into an open area. My feet touched the ground and slowly made their way toward the door.
The house was three stories high and grayish-blue. The white fence that surrounded it was right out of those cheesy movies and I could see toys spewed out all over the freshly mowed lawn. For a moment I wondered if this had been my life, but then I remembered things happen for a reason. If I was meant for this, Kyle and I would've gotten married when we were suppose to and live happily ever after.
Before I even get a chance to ring the door bell, it swings open, revealing Kyle's handsome form. His curly hair was somewhat tamed and his body was covered in a t-shirt and flannel pajama pants. He smiled at me and it eased my nervousness.
"You are the last person I'd thought would come walking up my front steps." I smiled and shrugged.
"It's always who you least expect." He chuckles and runs his hand through his hair. I'm slightly jealous of how good he still looks, but I don't say anything.
"So, what's up?" I look over his house again before staring back at him.
"I actually came by to apologize," I explained, "Our last meeting wasn't exactly the best way to settle things between us." He smiles and nods in agreement.
"Yeah. . . about that. . ." Kyle began, "I'm the one who should be sorry. I should've just shown up at your office like that, inviting you to a baby shower for the woman I cheated on you with. It was a really bad idea." We both laugh before being interrupted by a playful scream.
"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Before I can realize what's going on, a young boy is hiding behind my legs, gripping onto my clothes for dear life as he peaks around me for someone.
"Andy, where did you run off-" I hear the soft voice that seems all too familiar. It was Natalie in all her glory. Her green eyes met mine and she smiled awkwardly.
"Who's this?" Andy asks while pulling away from me and running to his mother's side.
"This is an old friend of daddy's," Kyle explains, "Her name is Ms. Daniels." Andy looks up at me and shyly buries his face into his mother's leg.
"Hi," he squeaks out. I wave and smile, noticing his black and curly hair matched Kyle's perfectly and his green eyes shined brighter than his mother's.
"Hey, Andy," I say, extending my hand, "It's nice to meet you." He shakes my hand briefly before giggling and running back inside of the house. Natalie starts after him, once again leaving Kyle and me alone.
"Sorry about that," Kyle laughs, "He loves to run all the time." I wave him off and smile.
"Don't worry about it," I assured, "He's so adorable."
"He looks just like his mother," Kyle comments.
"But he has your hair," I point out. Kyle smiles and shrugs.
"I guess that's not really a good thing," He self-consciously runs his hands through his curls again, "Would you like to come in? The house is somewhat messy, but tolerable." I giggle and nod. Kyle politely steps aside, giving me room to walk through. As the door locks behind me, I decide to tell Kyle everything. It was better to be up-front about things then to beat around the bush.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Justin groaned as he took the stairs two at a time. His hoodie was pulled over his head and his hands were deep inside of his pockets. He rolled his eyes as he stood in front of Alonsha's door again, prepared to do the same old thing.
He was, once again, going to call their friendship off. Not permanently, that's for sure, but just so that he could clear his head. After talking to Cameron for two hours, she convinced him that he was rushing into restoring his relationship with Alonsha. Once he sat down and thought about it, he was. The moment she told him the other half, he took that as an excuse and ran with it. He never really absorbed the information.
Besides, he was dangerously close to really letting her in again. After only two and some half weeks, Alonsha managed to work her way into his chest, slowly inching her way toward his heart. But he wasn't having that. It was way too soon to see whether or not he could trust her enough to let her in that deep. Who's to say she won't hurt him again?
"What the fuck?" Justin mumbled to himself as he knocked on Alonsha's door for the millionth time. Great. She's not here. Just what he needed to discover. Justin let out a frustrated groan and pulled out his cell phone, dialing Alonsha's number. He waited patiently until the third ring where she picked up.
"Hello?" she asked timidly, her small voice causing Justin to smile.
"Hey," he cooed, "Where are you?" What the hell is wrong with him? What happened to the stern voice of reason he was going to use when he spoke to her?
"In the elevator up to my apartment," she answered, "Where are you?"
"At your door," Alonsha laughed, "Hurry up. We need to talk."
"Okay," Alonsha didn't like his tone one bit, but it's not like she had a choice on whether or not they'd talk. She hung up after they said their goodbyes and briskly walked out of the elevator when it came to a stop. Justin was leaning comfortably against the door, looking down at his hands in a GQ moment. Alonsha smiled when he looked over at her, a small smile on his face.
"Sorry I didn't call first," Justin said, "I didn't know you had plans after work."
"Neither did I," Alonsha told him as he lifted himself off of the door, allowing her to unlock it. They both walked in, Justin locking the door behind him, "I went to see Kyle today." Justin's eyes widened with shock and he chuckled lightly.
"Why are you smiling?" Alonsha shrugged and hung up her denim jacket.
"It was actually fun," she explained, "We all talked about stuff that has happened. I met his son and actually had a decent conversation with Natalie. They all seem happy."
"You're braver than me," Justin chuckled, "If it wasn't for my manners and fear of prison, I'd kill Britney." He laughed loudly and Alonsha couldn't help but join him, "I'm just kidding. I've got love for her." Alonsha gave him a sideways glance and giggled.
"Are you hungry or something?" she asked, "I'll cook ya something." Justin was suddenly smacked with the reality of why he was there and regretted their friendly chit chat a few seconds ago.
"No thanks," he declined, "I'm not staying. I just have to tell you something." Alonsha nodded and offered him a seat. He took it and she sat down next to him.
"What's up?" she asked curiously. Justin sighed and picked a piece of lint off of his Dickie's pants.
"Look, we need to take a break," he said, cutting right to the chase, "I just feel like I rushed this, ya know? I didn't really think things through. I only accepted it."
"So this is completely your decision?" Alonsha questioned. Justin furrowed his brows.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you came to this conclusion on your own," Alonsha explained, "This has nothing to do with the fact that Cameron hates me?" Justin rolled his eyes and sighed.
"She doesn't hate you, Lonnie," Justin struggled to explain, "She just. . . really. . ."
"Hates me." Alonsha inserted, "But that doesn't matter, right? This is all you." Justin couldn't lie.
"Well, I spoke to her about it, so I guess she has some type of influence on my decision."
"So you don't want to take a break?"
"Well, yeah, I do," Justin said, "I just. . . I don't know. I kinda discarded all the negatives, but when I spoke to Cameron. . ."
"She pointed them all out, huh?" Alonsha licked her lips and took in a deep breath, "This can't be her choice, Justin."
"It's not!" Justin argued, "I need this break, okay? This has nothing to do with Cameron."
"Exactly," Alonsha stated simply, "This is about you and me, Jay. Not Cameron. If you want to put our friendship on a hiatus because you honestly need time to think, that's fine. But if this is just some way to make Cameron happy, then that's not cool at all."
"Why can't it be for both?" Justin questioned, "I want this and so does Cam. Granted, she wants it because she can't stand you, but it doesn't matter. I want it and that's it. If I didn't want this break, it wouldn't be happening, alright?"
"Alright," Alonsha told him, "I just want you to be comfortable with your own decision."
"I am," Justin assured, "It's not about hurting you either."
"Oh, I'm not hurt," Alonsha waved him off with a smile, "I understand." Before their conversation could continue, a light tapping on the door caused Alonsha to get up. She opened the door and grinned.
"Hey," Adam greeted, "You ready?" Justin stood, making his presence known, "Justin, nice to finally meet you." Justin plastered his famous smile across his face and offered his hand. Adam and him shared a brief handshake.
"Nice too meet you too, man," Justin said politely, "I guess I should get going."
"Oh, if you guys were talking, I could just wait out in the car," Adam offered sweetly. Alonsha smiled and rubbed his arm, a gesture Justin caught through the corner of his eye.
"No, Justin and I were just finishing up," she explained, "I didn't realize the time." Justin was confused as to where they were going, but didn't feel right about asking.
"Well, I gonna go now and let ya'll handle whatever business ya'll got planned." Justin smiled at them and waved goodbye. He made his way down the hall, toward the staircase. His ears were met by the sound of Alonsha's laugh and he turned to see her and Adam, arm in arm. He watched as she clung to him, resting her head on his arm. Adam said something and they both laughed again, causing Justin's stomach to churn.
He couldn't be that funny. And he definitely didn't appreciate Alonsha laughing her ass off after what just happened. He felt some type of way about that. It was like he didn't even matter as soon as Adam came along.
He hated that guy.
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