* “Sky”

“Justin”. It was always what we said to each other whenever we met up. Hearing him say my name was such an incredible feeling to me. You just can’t imagine. Going by his place every Saturday, my best friend Leah would come with me. She would always tag along only for the booze and dope. It was always one of those wild parties there. I would only come for Justin. I was already in some really deep shit after the few times we met. I’ve never felt that way before, about anyone. All that may sound like something out of some chick flick but screw that, that’s what I felt. There would be the whole gang up at those parties. It made me think of those times way back in the 70’s or whatever where people just had sex for fun with each other and all those orgies and whatnot. I was never into those things, and he didn’t seem to be either. Leah knew how I felt so she went ahead and told Chad, Justin’s cousin. That one Saturday Leah and I went over, Chad pushed us both into a room. So there was me sitting on the bed and Justin standing leaning against the door. First thing he said.

“Look I don’t do these kinda shit, fucking someone I barley know. I don’t know what the hell Chad is thinking.” I guess he thought I was some kind of slut. I watched him ramble on. I just started at his curly brown hair and blue eyes.

“Justin” I said

“Uhhh” was his reply. I got up from the bed and walked up to him. Started up at his face, right into his eyes.

“I’m not looking for sex, or drugs, or money.” I tell him. I reach up and lightly touch his face which wasn’t shaved clean it felt rough. “I just wanted to say that I umm I really like you…a lot. I just had to tell you that. I know you may not want me, but I’m…” He put a finger on my lips shutting me up.

 “Sky I…just...” His hands cup my cheek he leans in really close. His lips graze mine very lightly. I feel his arms around my waist he pulls me tight to his body. He kisses me, I’ve never been kissed like this before. It was like he was sucking all the life from me. It made my knees weak. He lifts me up and on to the bed, I gasp for breath. I hug him even tighter feeling his abs. He kisses my neck, his breath hard and hot on my skin. I was in an intense state of euphoria. I don’t know how long we were making out on that bed. It sprung so many emotions in me. This yearning for him. This incredible lust. I wanted so much more. But we didn’t go that far then. But I was in heaven just me and Justin that’s all I ever wanted. After that day my life changed for the better with Justin in it. He just made me so happy, but I was also worried constantly about him. I knew he needed help to get out of that hell hole of drug dealing. Everyone knew him as the guy to go too. He was always seemed so ashamed of this when he was around me. But to me he was always just Justin. * 

          Justin was over at my place. He would always come by for dinner. Even though I burned half the food, he would always say he loved it.

“Don’t lie Justin I know I’M not the best cook.” I tell him laughing

“Aww, baby you’re the best cook I know.” He tells me. Damn he always had to be so charming. I go over to him and sit down on his lap. He looks at me with that boyish grin.

“Thanks baby.” I tell him wrapping my arms around his neck. He smiles at me and kisses my forehead. I catch his lips with mine. God he feels so good. He wraps his arms around my body hugging me very tight. It felt so strong, there was something wrong. I look up at him and see his face filled with grief and his eyes rimmed with tears.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” I ask him.

“Sky…..I” he just hugs me. “Sky I can’t...” 

“You can’t what baby?”

“Sky, baby I…we can’t be together anymore.” He says turning around from me.

“Justin, what…were did this come from?” I ask. He walks to the front door not looking at me.

“I’m sorry.” He says, opening the door and going outside. I follow right after him in shock.

“Justin talk to me, what the hell is this!” he stops walking and just stands there in his hoodie and jeans. I walk to him and put my hand on his shoulder.

“Baby” I say softly. He turns around

“Sky I can’t let you do this to yourself.”

“Do what!” I yell

“Being with me is hell and you know it.”

“Baby what are you talking about?” I say

“Sky, I’m a fucking drug dealer, crack pot, mess.” He says strongly with clenched fists “Baby you deserve so much better than me.” He says looking me right in the eye.

“Justin no, no it’s not like that at all.” I tell him tears rolling down my face. I touch his hand “Baby none of that matters to me, as long as your hear with me.”

“No Sky I can’t let you do that. Girl, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, you’re too good. Who knows where I’ll be tomorrow dead, alive only god knows. how will we live?” I take his hands.

“Shh you think too much that all doesn’t matter right now.” He’s looking at me with so much yearning; I can tell he’s just on the brink of giving in. But then he takes both of my hands in his, leans down and kisses them, his tears roll down on my hand.  

“Sky, I love you so much.” He says his voice cracking

“Justin I love you too.” I tell him bursting into tears. He reaches up and tucks my hair behind my ears.

“But Sky I...We just can’t, I can’t do this to you, It’s killing me inside.” He lets go of my hand and walks to his truck

“Justin no you can’t go!” I yell at him running, grabbing at his sleeve. “You just can’t, I need you baby.” I yell now crying full on. He turns around.

“God I love you” He says pulling me to him and kissing me hard and long. I garb his hair and his waist. He kisses my face, my cheeks, my forehead, my neck and my eyes. It all feels so good.

“Uggg.”He groans and pulls away climbing into his truck.

“Justin” I say. I look at his face all broken down. He looks at me with his piercing blue eyes.

“Sky, don’t come looking for me.” He says crying then he starts the car and pulls out of my front yard.

“No Justin! NO!” I yell but he’s gone. I can’t believe he’s gone.