The Confusion
"No."
I don't believe it.
"What?"
"No, dad." And it's getting clearer. . .
"What?"
"No!" Josie screamed, scaring the shit out of me, "I said no! No! No! No!" Then tears from nowhere flow heavily from her eyes as she crosses her arms over her chest. I'm tempted to join her cryfest after hearing the one word I'm beginning to hate.
No.
"What do you mean 'no'?" I asked, "Don't you want daddy to be happy?"
"All I asked you to do was not like her and you liked her anyway," Josie sniffed, "You promised."
"I know," I sighed, "But, baby, Melanie's really great, so I couldn't help but like her."
"Find someone else who's great," Josie huffed. I sighed again before I fell back onto her Hello Kitty covered bed and groaned.
"Josephine," I said softly, "Daddy really likes Melanie."
"I really like Ashley too," Josie whined, "She's my best friend, daddy." I quickly turned my head to face my daughter, surprised at her words.
"Really?" I asked. She nodded her head before I reached over and cupped her chubby cheek.
"I don't want you and Miss. Thomas to break up and make Ashley hate me forever," she mumbled.
"She won't hate you, okay?"
"How do you know?" I don't.
"What happens between Melanie and I won't really affect you and Ashley."
"What if ya'll divorce?"
"Baby, we're not even married to get divorced."
"Fine, what if ya'll got married and then divorced?" I rolled my eyes.
"Josephine, you're being negative here," I breathed, "What about if Mel and I got married and you and Ashley were sisters? Wouldn't that be nice?"
"No," Josie pouted, "I don't want you guys to get married."
"Why not?"
"Because!"
"That's not an answer." Before I could see it coming, a wail so sharp and painful escaped Josie's lungs. All I could do was jump up in surprise and watch as tears ran down her face.
"I hate you!" Josephine screamed, piercing a hole right through my heart, "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" She tossed herself onto her bed and buried her face into the pillows.
"Josie," I whispered, hurt and stunned.
"Just. . . go away," she whispered softly, "Leave me alone." I felt so helpless as I stood there, watching her breathe heavily as she sniffled and hiccupped. I wanted to cry myself. She told me she hated me. Granted, I was smart enough to know that she didn't really mean it, but at the same time, it still was a hurtful statement.
"I just want you to think about this," I said softly, "I'll check on you later." She responded with a sniffle before I turned and walked out of her room.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
It's been about two days since Josie's 'I hate you' outburst, and I must say, things have gotten progressively worse. She refuses to speak to me or Ashley, which in turn leaves me in a very awkward position with Mel. We spoke on the phone once and Josie was groaning and whining the entire time, so much so that I had to hang up and yell at her about respecting my phone calls.
It was weird discipling her because it was never necessary before, but it was bad enough she was controlling my love life, let alone my friendship with Melanie.
"All right, you can watch t.v.," I said, closing Josie's math book and handing it to her. She takes it from my hand without giving so much as a glance.
"Can I call Ashley instead?" she asked. I smiled softly.
"So, ya'll are speaking again?" she shrugged.
"She asked me to call her," Josie said, "I thought I'd do it since there's nothing on t.v." My smile flattered, but I waved her off and scurried over to the phone. She grabbed the cordless and ran up the kitchen stairs. I sighed and stood from the round table, pushing in both mine and Josie's chairs. As I walked into the living room, the ringing of the doorbell caught my attention. I sighed heavily and tried to remember if anyone said they were coming over tonight. Nobody in particular came to mind, but I opened the door anyway.
"Mel?" I breathed as she stood before me. Her radiant smile was spread across her gorgeous face and provoked my own.
"I'm sorry I didn't call first," she apologized as she hugged me quickly.
"You don't have to call," I said, "You're always welcome here." She laughed lightly and glanced around the living room.
"Thanks, that's sweet," Melanie told me, "So, by any chance, is Josephine here?" I raised a brow.
"Uh, yeah. . ." I answered, "She's upstairs. She actually was about call your house for Ashley."
"Oh, that's fine," she informed me, "Steph's watching her for me, so she's home anyway."
"Okay. . ." I gestured towards the sofa, "Have a seat." Melanie flopped back onto the sofa and I plopped down next to her.
"So, how are you?" she asked.
"I'm good," I said, "You?"
"Same." I nodded, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. This wasn't the normal conversation I was used to having with Mel. All this small talk is annoying.
"Good," I replied, "That's gr-"
"We shouldn't do this," Melanie blurted out.
"Excuse me?" I was confused.
"This," she stressed, as if I had a clue, "We just can't. . ."
"What 'this'?" I asked.
"Us," Melanie explained, "You and me. Whatever future relationship we thought could happen, can't."
"What do you mean?" I asked innocently, "You and me haven't even started yet."
"I know. . ." She sighed, "And it can't ever start."
"I don't understand, Mel," I told her, "Are you breaking up with me or something?"
"Look, we can stay friends, but no other stuff can go on between us," Melanie babbled, "Josephine doesn't approve of us and-" She cut her sentence short, "We just can't, okay?"
"No, not okay," I argued, "So, Josie doesn't accept it now, but she'll have to eventually-"
"Justin, no," Melanie stood, "I don't want there to be an 'us' anymore."
"What are you talking about?" I stood as well, "You're the one who asked me out first."
"I know, but. . . I wasn't thinking," she dismissed, "That doesn't even matter anyway. I'm allowed to change my mind." By this time, Melanie was already at the front door, her hand on the knob.
"But we were just discussing this yesterday," I reminded, "So your feelings just changed overnight?"
"I guess they did," she snapped. My eyes narrowed, my ego bruised by her harsh tone.
"Fine," I growled, "I guess we're over."
"I guess so too." The door opened and Melanie walked through before slamming it shut. I finally let go of the breath I was holding and frowned.
What the hell was that about?
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