The Phone Call
"She looks just like you," Melanie observed as we watched Ashley and Josephine run around freely in my back yard.
"She looks just like Nakia," I corrected, almost defensively. I couldn't tell if it was because I was still angry with her over the supposed break up or if I was scared that it was true. If Josie looked like me instead, I would lose the one tangible thing of Kia I had left that wasn't tainted by her illness. That was something given to me because of our love, not because she wouldn't need it anymore.
"Well, I'm sure," she replied nonchalantly, "I guess that since she's been around you so much, she seems to look like you more. You know what I mean?"
"No." By the look on her face, I knew she felt the sharpness in my curt response. I wasn't trying to be rude. It always came naturally when I was hurt or confused. My defense mechanism, I suppose. Melanie grew silent as she sat next to me on my back porch's swing, staring at the two beautiful girls before us; carefree and happy just to have each other's company.
I glanced over at Mel and remembered that that's exactly how she made me feel. Childlike and carefree. I wondered if she was thinking the exact same thing in that moment, but didn't bother to ask. I chewed my bottom lip and looked back at the girls. Talking used to be something I was good at. There were times when Nakia would tell me to shut up, playfully, of course, because I talked enough to even run her patience dry. Now I can't find the words to form a sentence. Even when I do, they come out jumbled and misplaced. Melanie's sudden change of heart has more of an affect on me than I'd like to admit.
"You know what? Maybe I should go." My eyes traveled up in her direction as Melanie stood.
"You don't have to leave," I said in an unconvincing tone.
"I just think that a week is too soon to be around each other."
"Why?" As if I didn't know.
"Because of what happened between us," Melanie explained, "Ashley can stay, but this is too awkward." She chuckled nervously and I continued to stare at her as she tucked a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. Part of me wanted to ask her to stay, for me. The other part, my pride, whose ego was too big for its own good, decided that she should go.
Guess which part I listened to.
"Fine, if you want to leave, you can," I told her, "I'm not begging you to stay."
"I never asked you to."
"Than leave," I said. We were in a staring match now. Her dark brown eyes collided with my blue ones and neither of us wanted to back down. Melanie, with a heavy sigh, reluctantly looked over at the girls. I followed her gaze and spotted both Ashley and Josephine staring at us curiously. Had we been that loud?
"Dad?" Josie called quietly. I frowned when she looked between Melanie and I.
"Yeah, Josie?"
"Is everything okay?" Ashley asked for her.
"Everything's fine," Melanie answered with a fake smile, "Just keep playing."
"Where are you goin'?" Ashley asked, jogging over to the porch where her mother was standing. Josephine trailed behind, her eyes staring intently at me.
"Home."
"Why?" Melanie looked over at me before looking back at Ashley.
"I'm tired, honey," she said, "I was going to take a quick nap and pick you up for dinner." I watched as Ashley pouted and nodded her blonde head.
"Okay," she said, "But can they come over for dinner?" She gestured toward us and Melanie looked down at the ground briefly.
"Josie can." Sticks and stones, my ass.
"Can't Mr. Timberlake?" Ashley asked before I cut in.
"No, that's okay, sweetheart," I assured, causing everybody to look at me, "I have plans to eat with a friend tonight." I saw Josie's eyebrows perk up at the news and Ashley giggled.
"You have a date," she squealed.
"I do," I lied, "So, don't worry about me, okay? I'll be fine." I didn't bother looking at Melanie as she said goodbye to Ashley or when she came by later that evening to pick her and Josie up. It was only until after they left that I realized that I wish I didn't make up that lie about having a date. Maybe I could be having dinner with my daughter rather than by myself.
I'm sure they were having a full course meal, while I, on the other hand, decided to settle for a traditional T.V. dinner. The silence of the house seemed louder than any sound I've ever heard. I used to relish in the rare occurances that I had peace and quiet, but that was because they were exactly that - rare. There was always somebody who wanted or needed to be around me. I made the decision to have their company or not. I got to choose my quiet times. Now they come along frequently and completely uninvited. They leave me sad and confused and, worst off all, lonely.
I missed Nakia in times like this. Times where silence would be filled with memories of her, so brilliantly encrypted into my mind that, I swear, the smell of perfume dances in the air and makes my lungs tingle.
I missed my grandfather and how he would call out of nowhere and ask me to play a song. Anything from Jimmy Hendrix to Elvis to Prince and Garth Brooks. Then he'd critique my performance, giving me advice on how to pluck the strings or tune them. Sometimes Nana would take the phone from him and promise to make me the grandest peach cobbler if I'd fly home that very minute and gave her some 'sugar'.
I glanced over at the phone longingly before peering over at the stairs as if Gramps would call or Kia would come gliding down the steps in all her glory. I guess if either occurred, I would be more afraid than open minded to the situation.
As soon as that thought passed through my mind, the phone rang and sharply broke into the silence of the room. I hesitated for a moment, contemplating the possibility that it might be my dead grandfather calling from Heaven. It rang again and I figured that I could just sit there and wonder and pick up and find out.
"Hel. . .lo?" I said slowly as I pressed the phone to my ear. I heard breathing for a moment and my heart picked up speed.
"Uh. .. is this Justin?" I furrowed my brows.
"Who's this?"
"It's Stephanie," she said, "Mel's best friend." My heart slowed and a smile spread across my face.
"Hey, Stephanie," I greeted, "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize your voice."
"Oh, that's understandable," she told me, "I wouldn't expect you to. I hope you're not busy." I looked down at my T.V. and rolled my eyes.
"Nothing that can't wait," I assured, "So, is everything okay?"
"Yeah, yeah. . . Everything's fine," she replied, "But, I kinda wanted to talk to you about Mel."
"Okay. . ." I mumbled cautiously.
"Look, I know this may sound a bit awkward coming from me, but she wants you." I cleared my throat and chuckled nervously.
"Well, Stephanie, I. . .um. . ."
"I know, I know. It's not my business, but then again it is," she said, "I know what happened between you two and I begged her not to do it, but you know, people never listen."
"I don't really understand why-"
"I know," she interrupted, "But that's what I'm trying to explain."
"Okay."
"Did she ever tell you about that sperm donor?"
"Excuse me?"
"Ash's father."
"David?"
"Yeah, that asshole," she confirmed, "He came by the other day and she's been off ever since."
"Why? What happened?" Despite the fact that I should've been having this conversation with Melanie, I found it surprisingly easier to talk to Stephanie.
"Because he wanted to see Ashley again and things just erupted. She doesn't want him to be near her and is now convinced that Ashley shouldn't be attached to any man because they're all dogs. Or something like that, I don't know. She's crazy."
"But what does that have to do with me?"
"Geez, I don't know. Dating you would kind of put you a in a position where you'd have to be a part of Ashley's life."
"I'm already a part of her life."
"I told her that," Stephanie sighed, "She didn't want to hear it. Besides, I think David might've suggested some type of relationship. I'm a little foggy on the details though." I felt a pang of jealously in my stomach and coughed.
"So, what now?" I asked.
"Well, for starters, you could've been having dinner with us instead with yourself."
"Who said I was alone?"
"The fact that you're home and not busy did." She chuckled lightly.
"Well, Mel didn't want me to come."
"She doesn't know what she wants," Stephanie dismissed.
"Well, until she does, I don't know what I'm suppose to do."
"Come and get her!" Stephanie suggested enthusiastically.
"Now?" I asked.
"No, not now," she groaned, "Tomorrow. Eight-ish."
"What? Why?"
"Because I said so."
"And?"
"Do you want her or not?" Stephanie said, annoyed.
"I do, but-"
"No buts," she interrupted, once again. "I'll get the girls for the day and you come on by. Wear something comfortable. Easy removal."
"What did you say?"
"Nothing," Stephanie said quickly, "Gotta go. Bye." She hung before I could protest or question anything she had just said and I stared at the phone in my hand for a moment before hanging it up.
But did she say what I thought she said?
Story Tags: Be the first to add a tag to this story
