Lost
Chapter 1
Bethany rolled onto her back her golden blonde hair sticking to the back of her neck and forehead, I watch as she grabs the small mirror full of lined out coke and sniffs a few lines. I run my eyes over her naked body tempted to knock the coke out of her hands and fuck her again.
It’s like a tradition we have, I come into town and the first stop I make is Bethany’s apartment. We fuck like wild teenagers; we get high, have more sex, and then do more drugs. We’ve been doing this since we were teenagers, 15 or 16 years old, the start of my career with NSYNC.
“Here Timbs.” She says, barely above a whisper as she hands me the mirror with a few lines left. I gently grab it out of her hands and finish the coke off, I turn to look at her, and she’s got a pleased smile on her face as the coke gets into her system.
I placed the mirror on the nightstand and grab her leg pulling her into a laying position on the bed. I love the feel I get when I do coke, I feel like I’m superman like I could fly to the top of the tallest building, like I could fuck for hours. Bethany giggles as I run my hand up her tanned leg over her hips, up her stomach stopping as I forcefully grab her breast and squeeze them. She moans in what I assume is pleasure making my dick go hard. I run my tongue up her leg over her opening causing her to buck her hips, I suppress a laugh as I continue to move my tongue until my lips crash into hers and I force my dick into her, she groans out my name.
“God damn…” The words roll off my lips as I thrust one last thrust into her before collapsing on top of her small frame.
I roll off of her and reach for the small bag of coke on the nightstand, I start cutting a few lines, I should be worried that the four lines I took just two hours ago already faded but I can’t think about that. I’ve got to leave in a few hours I need to get another fix.
“Timbs…” My nickname rolls off her tongue as she smiles up at me, still enjoying her high.
She doesn’t use like I do, not any more. It used to be she’d bring the drugs and we’d do them, now…now I bring the drugs, more drugs then we’ve ever done before. She only uses with me she once admitted to me, I won’t lie when she told me I left a few hours later. It tore me up what I was doing to her. I eventually came back, I was more addicted to her then I was to any drug, or so I thought.
“Beth…” I answer back before I snort another line.
“You know I love you right?” She asks, causing me to stop finishing my last line.
“Of course I know that. I love you too.” I give her a half smile as I start to hand over the mirror.
Bethany shakes her head no, “I’ve got to pick Sam up from my mothers after you leave.” Her words stop my heart as I place the mirror on the nightstand. I run a hand over my face and look back at her smiling face.
“How is she?” I ask, to this day I’m still a little shocked that I’m father. I’ve had three years to get use to it, but any time Bethany or anyone else brigs her up I get nervous.
I’m not a good father.
When Bethany first told me she was pregnant I flipped out, I told her to get rid of it that I wouldn’t be around to help out. She didn’t care went off about how she couldn’t possibly get rid of her own child. That was the year my mother found me passed out on my couch with massive amounts of drugs around me. I probably would have died if she hadn’t been worried about me with the news of Bethany being pregnant coming out to the media.
I took a ‘break’; at least that is what my mother told the press. I was taking a break to relax, write music and prepare for my album and tour. When the reality of it was she threw me into a private rehab in Tennessee for two months. I stayed clean up until just before Samantha was born.
Trace took me out for my 22nd birthday, we went to Memphis, stayed for three days doing drugs, drinking, screwing girls. It would have been longer but I got the phone call that Bethany had been rushed into the hospital; Sam wasn’t due for six more weeks.
“Lo?” I say into my cell phone as I pass the coke over to Trace.
“Justin?” A sexy voice questions
“Maybe, what’s your name baby?” I grin into the phone taking a swig of my whiskey.
I prop my feet up on the table in front of me laying my head back as the coke I just did starts to take effect.
“It’s Amber.” Her tone is flat.
“How can I help you Amber?” not sure if I even know any Ambers
“Are you high Justin?” This Amber questions causing me to choke on the weed I just inhaled.
“Who the fuck is this?” I demand not wanting it to be some reporter who happened to find my number. I’ll probably have to change my number again.
“Bethany is having the baby…” I drop my glass of whiskey and hang the phone up.
Everyone around me stops what they are doing as I let a string of cuss words flow out of my mouth. I try standing up but fall backwards, panic starts to set in as all the drugs I’ve been taking seem to be hitting me the hardest right now.
“Fuck… Bethany… baby…” I get out getting onto my knees, trying to push my self up using the table.
“Fuck man.” Trace states grabbing my cell out of my hand, he starts to call someone.
“I gotta go.” I panic as I brace my self on the wall next to the couch.
“Brad is on his way.” Brad… Brad… Bethany’s older brother. Fuck. Shit.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I hope he kills me after I see Sam. I slide down the wall holding my head in my hands. This is the worse trip I’ve had, ever. I need to relax before I get hysterical.
I’m not sure how long I had been sitting on the floor, but when I looked up all the drugs are gone and Trace was letting Brad through the door. He grabs my arm and pulls me to my feet, with my free arm I push the tears off of my face.
“Let’s go Jay.” He quietly says, I put my arm around his shoulders and he helps me through the door. “You’re not coming with Trace.” He snapped causing Trace to stop dead in his tracks.
I get into the passenger seat and Brad slams the door shut, I watch as he walks in front of his car to the other side. He gets in and slams his door shut, turning the car on. “Put your seat belt on.” His voice is loud in my tears as I roll my head so that I’m looking out the front of the car.
“Thanks.” I barely get out as I snap the belt into place.
“I should fucking throw your ass in jail.” He snaps at me as he pulls onto the road.
I swallow hard. Why did Trace call him? Trace knows Brads a cop. “I know.” I mumble pushing a tear off my face.
“She’s good; I was going to bring her over to your moms… Do you want to go with?” Bethany’s voice causes me a jump slightly.
“Uh…” I’m not sure what I should say, I don’t normally see Sam.
I let Bethany know a few days ahead of time before I get into town, she sends Sam over to her mothers for how many days I want to spend with her. I usually see her when it’s a holiday or her birthday.
“It’s just an offer; you don’t have to if you don’t want to Timbs.” Bethany half smiles as she climbs on top of me. I go hard the moment she sits down on me.
I run my hands over the curve of her ass and stop at her hips; I move her hips and slightly buck mine so she can feel how much I want her. She leans down and kisses my neck and moves up to my ear. I groan as her free hand grabs my dick and moves it over her opening.
“I’ve got to get in the shower.” She states with a giggle, “You can join if you want.” She adds as she hops off of me and leaves the bedroom.
She’s going to be the death of me. I snort the rest of my coke and run after her. By the time I get into the bathroom she’s already in the shower, hot water running down her body. I step in and push her against the wall, grabbing her neck and kissing her hard on the lips.
“Don’t ever tease me.” I grunt out as I force my self in her, she wraps her legs around my waist, her hands on the wall as I pump in and out of her as fast as I can.
“I love you.” She states kissing my chest as I set her down on her feet.
“I’ll go with.” I tell her as I reach for the soap.
I haven’t seen my daughter for a few months I might as well go see her, and my mother too. We haven’t been on that great of speaking terms since Sam was born. She wanted me to marry Bethany settle down have more kids with her. She was also not at all happy about me being drugged out of my mind when I went to the hospital when Bethany had Sam.
