The next morning, I woke to birds chirping outside. It was sunny as hell and my eyes tightened to block out the light. I stretched and yawned as a gentle tapping on the door pulled my attention.

"Yeah?" I grunted tiredly before Justin spoke from behind the door.

"Are you decent?" I began to wipe my face and readjust my hair.

"Yeah, I'm decent," I said, sitting up as the door crept open before he finally came into view with a tray of food in his hands.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, raising the tray as his offering and I nodded.

"I could definitely eat," I told him as he made his way over to my bed. I scooted over a bit, giving him room to sit as he adjusted the tray over my lap. I grabbed a piece of pineapple from the mixed fruit bowl in the corner and popped it into my mouth. He smiled at me, all cute in his fitting white t-shirt and navy blue basketball shorts.

"You should really buy one of these," he said, tapping the tray, "Makes breakfast so much easier in bed."

"I was wondering where you got this from," I told him, eating a grape, "You brought it with you?"

"No, Tiny went out and got it for me," he shrugged off.

"You didn't need to get him up all early to get me a tray," I said, "I could've dragged myself out of bed."

"Early?" he laughed, "It's almost three in the afternoon. I came upstairs to make sure you were still breathing like ten times already." I almost choked on the piece of cantaloupe in my mouth.

"Three?" I asked in disbelief and he waved me off.

"You're exhausted, I can see it in your face," he told me, eating a strawberry after dipping it into the little yogurt bowl, "You need to sleep. That's what a day off is for." I touched my face self-consciously, wondering how horrible I must look if he could see my exhaustion. I frowned.

"I didn't mean to leave you bored for that long," I said, "I'm not much of a hostess, am I?"

"Naw, it's cool," he assured, "I slept in 'til eleven, worked out a bit, cooked some food for me, watched t.v. and then made you this after I walked to the little corner store. You didn't have any eggs."

"Does Tiny know about that walk?" I teased.

"Whatever, Tiny's not my dad," he said, "But don't tell him, please." I laughed out loud and Justin joined me as he stole another strawberry.

"You remember that I hate strawberries, right?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yep." I gave him a look and he laughed. "I put them in there for me. I got a little hungry waiting on you, so we're sharing all this food." I looked down at the tray with eggs, sausage, bacon, toast, fruit and yogurt, a glass or orange juice, and a small bowl of grits.

"Did you actually make all this?" I asked suspiciously and he nodded.

"I can cook breakfast food," he said, "It's basically already made. The sausage is brown n' serve. The eggs you flip over a few times. Fruit you cut, yogurt you buy. Orange juice you pour, toast you toast, and grits... Grits was the hardeset part."

"It's nothing but the grits itself, some milk, and butter. Salt or sugar to taste."

"Easy for you to say," Justin pouted, "My grits were either liquified or drier than the Sierra." I shook my head.

"That's why you're so bony now," I said, "You're dying from starvation and eating dry ass grits."

"I''m not bony," he argued, standing up and lifting his shirt. A six pack on him and a heart attack for me. I looked away. "That's all man muscle!" He laughed to himself, completely unaware of what he just did to my libido. I stuffed some bacon into my mouth and he stole a piece of sausage.

"Congratulations, you won this round," I joked, trying to sound normal as he took a seat back on the bed. It sunk down from his weight and I held tray steady as he settled. We munched quietly for a moment and it was still a little awkward. I sighed, missing when it wasn't this hard to be quiet with him.

"What's wrong?" Justin asked with a mouthful of fruit and yogurt. I wrinkled my nose.

"Nice visual there," I said sarcastically as he shyly covered his mouth with his hand before mumbling an apology. "And nothing's wrong. It's just.. quiet." He grunted in response. More silence.

"Maybe we should try and talk about... something," he suggested and I gave him a bored look.

"That's very good, Justin, I never thought of that." My sarcasm only made him smirk.

"I miss that," he told me, "Trace is the only person who's remotely sarcastic back at home. Everybody's so... in your face."

"Sarcasm is immaturity wrapped up in one big ball of bitter rhetoric."

"Sarcasm is hilarious," Justin simplified and I rolled my eyes. "One of these days, they'll get stuck that way."

"Stop being so... you and maybe I'll stop."

"I thought you liked me," Justin mumbled as he scooped a spoon of grits in his mouth. I nibbled on some egg.

"I do like who you are, but you still annoy me with your presence," I explained, "It's one of those weird... love/hate things." It was extremely difficult to use the 'l' word around him and he seemed to tense up when it left my mouth.

"Well, hopefully more positives than negatives because I really want you to do this ad thing." I furrowed my brows at the abrupt change of topic, but followed along.

"I dunno," I mumbled, "I'm not really a ... camera person."

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because taking my picture and being on ads and commercials and letting millions see me...I don't know, prancing around in some jeans and a tank isn't really... appealing. I'm an indoor, introverted woman."

"You're funny and beautiful and very... real. That's what I want," he said and I wondered if he wanted that for more than just his ad. "Sash, you're perfect for this. I invisioned this with you. I made those jeans for you, for goodness sake. You have to at least do this ad. Just once."

"I appreciate everything you've done, I really do, but I'm pretty sure there's plenty of real, funny, beautiful girls ready and willing to strut their stuff in your new stretch jeans."

"I know," he said, "But there will be other ads and commercials."

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" He shook his head and I sighed and rolled my eyes. "And Clare can be in it?" He nodded. "I guess..." He was practically squealing. "...I'll think about it after I talk to Clare."

"Ugh..." Justin groaned, "You're incredibly frustrating."

"Thanks," I said, "But when does this ad and commercial shit start anyway?"

"As soon as you're ready," Justin told me, "You have the jeans already. All I need is you on a plane to LA and then in those jeans." I looked up from the tray and at him. He wiggled his brows comically and I laughed and ate a sausage.

"I'm leaning toward yes," I offered and he smiled.

"That's good enough for me," he told me, "For now."

"For now..." I mumbled before continuing chowing down on the meal I was sharing with a man I barely knew and knew so well. It was still strange to think and know that I loved him anyway. That I loved that there was another side to him because I could love that side too. I knew I could and I didn't even understand the first thing about him. I was a fool and I didn't care.

When did I get so stupid?

----------------------------------

"Ha!" I taunted, "Yo' ass is owned, Timberlake." I proudly picked up two of his black game pieces and kinged myself. My red pieces were devouring the checker board as I wiped out his black pieces. He frowned at me before shaking his head. He looked like an angry little kid as we sat on the living room floor. A floral printed blanket provided some cushion beneath us as we played our intense checkers game - which I was winning.

"I don't want to play anymore." He flipped the board over, sending the chips flying in all directions as I gasped and threw three red game pieces at him. He laughed and tossed one back before gathering up the pieces strewed all over the place. I crossed my arms over my chest and pouted. He smiled to himself and avoided looking at me as I burned a whole into the side of his face.

"That was not funny," I whined, "That was the only game I was beating you in today and you ruined it." He shrugged.

"I'm not that great of a loser," he told me, smiling, "It's part of my uncontrollable male competitive nature." He paused his cleaning up to look at me and grin. I bit my bottom lip to hold back my smile, but failed miserably. "See, that's the smile I want."

"Don't talk to me like that," I said, "Just because I smiled, it doesn't mean you're off the hook." He stood to retrieve a game piece from behind my back before plopping down beside me. My living room space was limited and I immediately felt my heart tighten when he sat down so close that his entire left side was brushing my right. He leant back a little, putting his hand behind my butt, but not touching me. His face was next to mine and I had to lean away in order to see him.

"I'll make it up to you," he said, his breath tickling my face. It smelt like the Heinekin beer he was drinking during our game and I reached for my own beside me. I took a gulp and he took the bottle from my lips to take a sip as well.

"How?" I asked curiously as he handed me back the green glass bottle. I took another swing, pathetically happy that his lips had touched exactly where mine had.

"I'm going to take you out to dinner tonight."

"You sick of my cooking already?" I asked as he reached up and wiped the corner of my mouth.

"Beer," he smiled, answering my questioning eyes, "And no, I'm not sick of your delicious cooking skills. I just think it's nice out and we're suppose to be up to almost fifty something degrees tonight. We should give you and the kitchen a break. Besides, Tiny was telling me about this Italian place he ate at the other day. It's on 7th and Chestnut."

I thought about the general area for a moment before the restaurant came to mind. I frowned. "LaScala's?"

"Yeah," Justin confirmed, "You been?"

"I've walked by," I said, "It's like eighty bucks a plate. I'll pass."

"Sash," Justin said, "You know I got you."

"I don't care what you've got, Justin, that's a ridiculous amount of money to spend on one measely meal."

"They give you a lot of food according to Tiny." He leaned in and whispered, "You know that's a lot of Tiny says." I smiled and raised a brow.

"You would not say that shit to Tiny's face."

"Damn straight I wouldn't," he admitted, making me laugh, "Tiny would fuck my shit up. I'm a smart ass sometimes, but I would never risk my life like that."

"Good thinking there," I told him, taking another gulp of my beer.

"Well, you down or what?"

"I really don't feel comfortable spending that much money on dinner," I reinerated. He gave me a bored look.

"Sash, I got it," he stressed, "Jesus, woman, I'm shacking up in your place all last minute and you feed me and make sure I'm comfortable everyday without a second thought. Let me treat you to one stupid dinner. Please?" I pouted in thought and he poked my side, making me giggle.

"Fine, but just tonight," I said, "No more expensive dinners after this."

"Fine, it's a deal," he assured me, "Mickey D's for now on and I won't let you supersize it." I rolled my eyes as he chuckled beside me.

"You sure singing's for you?" I asked, "You really should be a comedian, I swear."

"Your sarcasm about my comedic skills is hurtful," he melodramatically put his hand over his heart, "I happen to pride myself on my sense of humor and my ability to make others laugh."

"I happen to not care," I teased, finishing off my drink before placing the bottle against his chest. I held my hand there, feeling his heart beating as I looked him in the eye, "Why are you still lazying around, Buddy? Don't you owe me dinner?" He placed his hand on top of mine, pressing down a little to the point where I couldn't move away like I intended on doing the moment his skin came in contact with mine. He smirked and my heart jumped a little. The bastard knew. He had to know.

"Sasheirah..." he called me gently and I tried my best to breathe normally. The house was silent and tense and suffocating... But he looked so relaxed. Like it was normal for him to hold my against his chest and say my name like there was nothing else left to say. I don't even think I blinked.

"If you don't mind, Mr. Timberlake, I'd like to get my hand back," I informed him smartly, "But keep the bottle. I just wanted you to throw it away because I don't feel like walking to the kitchen." I watched as his eyes flashed down to my lips before looking back up at me. I tensed up more. He wasn't seriously thinking about doing that, was he?

"Whatever you say," he told me, releasing my hand from its imprisonment and taking the glass bottle hostage instead. I took the moment to stand and dust myself off. Justin stood with me, turning to walk to the kitchen as I bent over to fold the blanket.

I furrowed my brows, confused as I brought the corners of the comforter together. What the hell was that?

Before I even got started, Justin reappeared, packing up the game completely and tucking it away beneath my sofa. He asked if he could shower and I told him to help himself after he dug through his unpacked luggage for newer clothes and jogged upstairs. I sighed and trailed up after he had securely locked the bathroom door behind him. I entered my room and closed the door, making a beeline for my closet. I didn't know how nice the place was and I wasn't going to wear anything too fancy either. It took about twenty years, but I ended up with dark blue skinny jeans, a nice top, and some flats. There was a knock at the door.

"Yeah?" I called.

"I'm done in the bathroom," Justin informed me before I heard him jogging down the stairs. I needed a second to gather my things before I went down the hall to shower and dress. Within twenty-five minutes, I was spritzing on perfume as the finishing touch before meeting Justin downstairs. The moment I saw him, I wanted to punch him for looking so good. He was dressed in a white button up, rolled up to his elbows, a pinstripe, sleeveless vest, and some dark gray slacks. I looked down at myself self-consciously as he clipped his watch, which probably cost as much as my home, around his wrist.

"Hey," he greeted as he looked up as caught me gawking like an idiot, I'm sure, "You look good." I rolled my eyes.

"Okay, GQ, keep it up." He laughed.

"GQ? Really?" he asked, glancing down at himself. "Thanks, I guess."

"Thanks, I guess..." I mocked jokingly and he adjusted his vest over himself. "Should I go change?" I asked, my beige top suddenly looking boring compared to his little ensemble.

"No," he told me, "You look fine. Better than fine..." I raised a brow, walking up to him to fix his collar.

"What's better than fine?" I asked, smoothing out invisible wrinkles before reclaiming a proper distance from him.

"Beautiful," he answered, "You look really beautiful."

"Shut up," I said dismissively as I turned away to grab my keys from the coffee table behind him.

"Okay, okay..." he surrendered, "But I mean it."

"I'm sure you do," I said as nonchalantly as possible despite the cartwheel rolling in my chest. I didn't want nor need compliments from him. I wanted my dinner and I wanted to get over him. I told myself a million times that we were just eating dinner and nothing more, but as he helped me with my coat, held the door for me when we exited the house as Tiny pulled, and also held the door to a shiny black Escalade, I couldn't help but imagine that our outting was a...date.

It hurt to think that I was that sad, but I was, and it made me giggle inside. I knew I was an idiot and it would bite me in that ass eventually, but I decided to enjoy the ride in the car next to Justin, our knees bumping as he sat next to me and casually draped his arm over the back of my seat. Downtown was much more beautiful at night. The orangy-yellow street lights in combination with the lit up buildings brightened up all of city hall. There were so many people enjoying the spring-like weather tonight and I was nervous, for the first time, that I was out with Justin Timberlake.

Mr. Timberlake, on the other hand, looked complete unphased by all the faces as Tiny pulled up to the corner of 7th and Chestnut streets and got out of the car. Justin slid over to the other side and unlocked the backseat door. I scooted over as well once he got out and he held the door for me as Tiny stood tall by the door, huge and intimidating. He held my hand and the small of my back as I slipped out and laughed when I tripped a little. I subtly pinched his side and he pouted like it actually hurt before holding my elbow and guiding me into the restaurant. I didn't miss the glances and prolonged stares of people eating outside and I certainly didn't miss the widened eyes of the hostess at the counter when Justin smiled and asked for a table for two. I looked behind us at Tiny who had silently been following us and he gave me an answer before I asked.

"I'm going across the street with my family to eat," he nodded towards the window to a place called Jones, "I'll be able to see you from there." I nodded, although a part of me felt a bit worried. Was Justin being hunted down or something?

"You ready?" Justin asked and I turned back to him. He was smiling and dazzling and I all my worry was gone. I nodded and he took my hand as we followed a young waiter. The place around the bar was crowded and as we squeezed by, Justin held my hand tighter. I held on too, getting a good feel of his hand in mine.

"Here we are," the waiter said, placing us at a window seat; a perfect view of the Jones restaurant across the street. I wondered if this was all planned.

"Can we get a bottle of white wine?" Justin requested and the waiter proudly puffed out his chest.

"The Santa Margherita -"

"Pinot Grigio?" Justin excitedly interrupted and I was confused as fuck. The waiter nodded and smiled.

"Yes, sir," he confirmed and Justin smiled.

"I'll take." The waiter nodded and handed us our menus before walking away. Justin browsed over the options as I stared down at the menu in horror.

"The chicken parm is thirty-dollars," I whispered and Justin looked up at me and shrugged.

"I got you," he reinerated and I shook my head.

"I'm getting water," I argued, shutting the menu. He looked up and gave me a bored expression.

"I just got us a 150 dollar bottle of wine," Justin informed me and I gasped.

"You what?" I said sharply and he quickly glanced to see if anybody heard.

"That's not bad, it's good stuff," he stated, "But now that I ordered wine, you have to eat. You can't not eat and enjoy that wine. Besides, you'll end up getting drunk as hell and I'll have to take advantage of you." I blinked and cracked a smile.

"I hate you," I said simply before picking up the menu and covering my face. I was trying to hide the smile I was fighting off of my face and I could hear Justin chuckle to himself from the other side of the rectangular barrier. I decided on the cheese ravioli (only fifteen dollars, thank you very much, Mr. Timberlake) just as the waiter returned with an ice buck and a bottle of white wine. Justin thanked him and I smiled as he poured me a flute. He did the same for Justin before taking our orders. When he walked away, Justin kicked my foot beneath the table gently.

"Cheese ravioli?" he asked with raised brows. I shrugged, adjusting my nakin on my lap.

"It's what I was in the mood for," I told him nonchalantly and the more I thought about it, the more it was true.

"It's also the cheapest thing on the menu," he pointed out and I gave him an annoyed glance.

"Why can't you appreciate the fact that I don't want to spend all your money?" I asked.

"I do appreciate the fact that you're not moochin' off me, but, Sash, I'm offering you a night of splurging and you're denying me the one thing I can do for you."

"How is buying me dinner the only thing you can do for me?" I asked, "You made me breakfast this morning. That was doing something."

"Yeah, but you had to be out like you got shot by a tranquilizer gun for me to get it done," he complained and I pouted.

"That's not true," I weakly argued and he raised a brow.

"If you had been awake, would you have let me make you breakfast?" I looked up and he was looking dead at me with a 'don't even try to lie' face. I figured that there was no point in lying over something so petty.

"Why would I let you if you're my guest?" I asked.

"I'm not your guest," he said, "I'm your 'come to your house unexpected so I try and make you breakfast to balance things out' kinda friend." He smiled at me for emphasis and I laughed lightly.

"I guess you're right," I said, "I'm sorry, but I'm so used to just..."

"Taking care of yourself?" Justin supplied.

"I was going to say I'm so used to just being cheap, but I guess taking care of myself sounds better." Justin laughed and picked up his glass. I followed suit.

"To our... 'cheap, stubborn, independent-"

"Money spending, annoying, crash at my crib-" I added before being cut off.

"But with good hearts in the right place and cute faces-"

"Godforsaken word using-" I added again.

"Completely adorable and unbearably wonderful' kinda friendship." Our glasses clinked and he held my gaze as he both took a swig. I looked away first just as a vibration caught my attention. Justin was already in his pockets, pulling out a sleek motorola and a bigger Sprint phone. He explained earlier that the Motorola was business and Sprint was personal. He looked at the Sprint phone, pressed a button, and placed both phones back into his jacket's pockets. His face was frump suddenly and he sipped some more wine before clearing his throat and refilling his glass.

"What's wrong?" I asked. He shrugged and looked up at me, offering a tiny smile.

"Nothing." I was not the least bit convinced and him sipping on that wine like it was water was bothering me.

"Who was that?" I pried and he shrugged.

"It was just Jessica," he stated nonchalantly and I bit my bottom lip, looking down at my empty plate. I wish there was food to distract me. There was no sound besides the restaurant's and the people's hummed noises. A clattering of spoons and a loud laugh.

"Why didn't you answer?" I asked again and he shrugged.

"I'm eating with you," he said simply.

"We haven't gotten our food yet," I argued.

"Sash, I'm going to call her later," he snapped, "Just relax."

"I am relaxed," I snapped back and he looked down and adjusted his napkin on his lap as well, "I was just wondering why you I haven't seen you talk to her since you been here."

"I called her this morning when you were sleeping," he told me, "And I talked to her when I first landed yesterday. She's fine."

"I didn't say she wasn't," I mumbled, feeling foolish, "I just wanted to know."

"Don't worry about it," he assured, "We're fine."

"She was okay with you coming down here and everything?" I asked, realizing that I had never asked.

"She knows where I am and she knows I'm visiting a friend," he shrugged. "Not much else for her to know."

I looked up at him and the waiter came out of nowhere before I could speak. "Your ravioli," he placed the plate in front of me, "And your seafood alfredo, sir." We both said thank you and he walked away, leaving us in silence again. The food looked and smelled wonderful, but I could think to eat. All I heard in my head was the word 'friend' and it was taunting me.

"So..." I began, "She knows that I exist, right?"

"What do you mean?" Justin asked, not bothering to look up as he peppered his food.

"I mean... does she know that you're staying with Sasheirah Hanes in the middle of north Philly, or does she know you're in Philly seeing your friend?"

"She knows that I'm seeing my friend from Philadelphia," he smartly replied, "Why does it matter?"

"Because if she doesn't know who your friend in Philly is, that means that-" I cut myself off, realizing that I was talking without much thought until nearly the end. I couldn't feel bad because he didn't mention he had a thing with me and was coming back to rekindle our friendship because that would be the last thing any man trying to fix a broken relationship would want to say, but I couldn't help but feel kind of cheapened by it all. He couldn't even give my name to the woman. Was Sash too much to say?

"It doesn't mean anything," Justin told me, "Sash, Jess... Jess would just freak out or something if she knew I was spending time with another woman, especially now."

"Well, I would be a little worried if my boyfriend went all the way across the country to see some 'friend' of his too, especially if I knew they had some type of ... history together."

"Why make her worry then, huh?" he asked, "Why not just enjoy my vacation here and enjoy this food and this wine and this time right now?"

"Because I don't want you sneaking around to hang out with me," I complained, "If we're such good friends, then your girlfriend should know about me."

"Sash, please," Justin said as calmly as possible, "I came here to get away from all the questions. I just want to spend some time with you."

"I'm not saying you have to go, I'm just asking for some type of... I dunno." I sighed and picked at my ravioli. "Things were easier when it was just you and me. That's all I'm saying."

"I agree," he sighed as well, "I think that it's too soon for everything to just be laid out on the table. I gotta get a lot situated at home and I gotta keep you in my life too. When I got home, I didn't really get a moment to sit down and discuss everything with everybody. Yes, I avoided the topic of you and I... at least the whole...us...thing. It didn't seem like a good idea to go, 'oh, by the way, Jess, I met this amazing woman, but I'm still here, trying to work it out with you, so you better get your shit together', ya know? I did tell her that you took me in and we would keep in contact."

"Okay, fine," I said, "I don't really want to talk about this anymore, so if we could very subtly change the topic..." Justin laughed.

"I think announcing a subject change defeats the purpose of being subtle."

"I think you should just eat your alfredo before I do," I said, forking up a shrimp from his plate. "Too late." He stole a ravioli in retaliation as I ate the shrimp before greedily stealing another one. We ended the depressing conversation on a positive note and devoured our supper. Justin a generous tip at the table before we gathered our thing and left. Like clock work, Tiny appeared from the Jones restaurant, a way short and way smaller middle aged woman behind him and a boy who had to be at least thirteen not too far behind. We crossed the street to them and Justin put the young boy into a brief headlock before giving the woman a kiss on the cheek.

"This is my wife Sandra and this knuckle head is Andre," Tiny introduced, "Say hi, boy."

"Hey," Andre mumbled. I waved and then shook hands with Sandra.

"So... You and Justin, huh?" Sandra inquired, smiling at us both. I looked at Justin and he smiled awkwardly.

"No, not at all," he denied, "We're friends. I'm with Jessica, remember?" Sandra made a face like she really didn't know before Tiny nudged her. She smiled.

"Right...Jessica," she said, "Well, Tiny's taking you guys home, right? Dre and I are gonna head back to the hotel." She gave Tiny a hug and a kiss before we all said our goodbyes. Tiny led the way to a back parking lot down the block of LaScala's as his family walked in the opposite direction. When I walked down the block, Justin strolled beside me, looking straight ahead. Tiny was talking to his bluetooth at some unknown person, but other than that, the busy sounds of streets and people hummed all around us.

"Oh my god..." A whispered sentence caught my ear as two college aged girls walked past Justin and I, staring at Justin before finally stopping. They called out to him and he stopped, smiled, and confirmed his identity. They giggled and jogged back up to us, asking for a picture. I was the photographer, using a complicated camera phone with flash to steal the shot. They thanked us and squealed before walking away. Justin smiled to himself and shook his head as we continued our walk.

"Look how cute you are with your fans," I teased, "How many times a day does that happen?"

"In LA?" he asked and I nodded, "I probably wouldn't even be able to tell you. The paps are the vultures. My fans can't even get a good look at me because they usually circle around me. It's really annoying."

"Hmm..." I mumbled thoughtfully, "Sounds scary."

"You'll probably have to endure it one of these days," he said before turning to smile down at me, "When you come to LA for a visit. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge." I laughed and playfully slapped his arm.

"Yeah, right," I said sarcastically, "I'll go to LA."

"You have to," he whined, "I wanna show you around."

"It sounds like a terrible place with vulture paps among other things..." Also known as Jessica. Did he honestly think I'd willingly subject myself to the torture of watching him be with another woman? He had to be kidding me.

He frowned and I thought that it registered in his mind that keeping me and his LA life separate was probably best. I just did not belong and I liked it that way.

"You want ice cream?" Justin asked suddenly, just before we reached the car.

"Yep," Tiny answered before I could, causing us to laugh.

"You?" Justin asked, turning to me as we stopped walking.

I shrugged. "I'm down." We turned away from the car and walked to the corner. I went to cross the street and was yanked back just as a car turned the corner sharply, almost hitting me. I looked back at Justin who looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

"What an asshole," he griped, still holding my arm. I sighed and shook my head.

"Thanks for saving my life," I laughed and he smirked down at me.

"Thanks for the heart attack," he joked, "You can no longer cross the street by yourself, young lady." Justin released my arm and grabbed my hand instead.

"Hey, I am perfectly capable of crossing the street by myself," I argued weakly, trying to sound like I actually cared. His hand was holding mine and that's all I could think about.

"Tell my panicked heart that," he said, giving my hand squeeze before checking both ways of the street for an extreme amount of time. Tiny had long crossed the street and was waiting for us to join him. It took Justin twenty years to finally cross, but he had me laughing the whole time with his exaggerated precautions, like making us run across the street when a car was two lights away.

We walked around the Chestnut street colonial area, being greeted by men dressed in colonial soldier clothing and offering horse and carriage rides. Justin declined as we turned on Pine street and stopped in front of Dots Spot. I had never seen this place before and Justin seemed too familiar with it.

"How many times have you been to Philly?" I asked him as he held the door open for me.

"A couple, mostly on tour," he informed me, "Tiny used to find me all the good spots." He turned to smile at Tiny, but he had already walked to the counter and was ordering. We joined him, Justin telling me I had to try the caramel cheesecake scoop and share with him. I agreed as long as I could try his butter almond scoop.

We walked and ate our ice cream as Tiny trailed behind. I had no idea where I was going, but it didn't seem to matter as Justin and I traded our ice cream cones and chit chatted aimlessly. He boyishly tried to trip me as we walked along with each other. I pushed him and almost made him lose his ice cream. He shot me a dirty look before rubbing the ice cream against his mouth in a messy glob and chasing me up the block, threatening to kiss me and smudge up my face. It was tempting enough for me to stop and give in, but I knew he was only joking and that any kiss with Justin would be pointless. I had kissed him with everything I had before he left and he still got on that plane.

I stopped running and Justin laughed as he ran up beside me, kissing my cheek sloppily. The sticky mess of ice cream that was once covering his mouth was now on my face and all I could not bring myself to laugh. I couldn't even smile. It wasn't the kiss I was stupid enough to believe would happen. It was a kiss on the cheek that he probably gave his grandma. It was the kiss he used on Sandra. It was the kiss on caring, but not a romantic love. It was the kiss of a friend.

It devestated me.

"What's wrong?" Justin asked, breathless as he stood in front of me, smiling and licking his ice cream like there wasn't something wrong with this picture. "I didn't get any in your hair, I promise." He took back his butter almond cone and replaced my empty hand with my caramel cheesecake.

"I think we should head home," I said, "I'm tired."

"What!" Justin smiled, "You slept for twenty years today and it's so nice out and it's early! It's not even ten yet." His bright, smiling face only made me love him more and everything in me wanted to say okay, but I couldn't keep dreaming, pretending that this was more than what it was, even if he could be fine in the morning, I knew I wouldn't.

"Justin, I really want to lay down or something."

"Are you sick?" he asked worriedly, placing his hand on my forehead. I removed it quickly and placed it back to his side.

"No, I just want to go home," I told him. He stared down at me for a moment and I turned away, "Please." He took a step back from me and the distance felt so cold.

"Okay," he said, "If that's what you want." What I wanted was completely insignificant in the real world. If what I wanted matter, I'd be wrapped up in his arms, snuggled up with the Matthew he once was, uncomplicated and uninvolved with anybody with me.

The walk to the car was silent and I felt myself recoiling from the urge to cry. I did not want to freak Justin out with my tears. He was already confused by my mood swing and I couldn't risk any more emotional baggage being shown. It was awkward enough.

The car wobbled as we drove over cobblestone streets and pot holes and Tiny was playing smooth jazz in the background. He wasn't talking on the phone and I knew that had sensed that something was wrong as well. I stared out the window, watching all the traffic and people and unadulterated joy everybody seemed to have. It all seemed so annoyingly impossible to have.

"Hey, Sash..." The voice of the man beside was so quiet that I would've missed it if the radio were any louder. I slowly turned around, not really wanting to face him, but not really wanting to miss seeing it either.

"Yes-"

"Nevermind," Justin interrupted before turning back to the window. I furrowed my brows.

"You sure?" I inquired and he nodded his head, not turning to face me. I looked at him for a moment longer, hoping he'd turned around, but turned back to my window when he didn't. The street lights and the city didn't look as bright as they did when we first arrived and I was sure that my feelings had changed that.

My feelings seem to be changing everything these days.