I watched the olive in my martini glass swirl around in the thin layer of liquid left at the bottom. It was an apple martini, one of three, and I still wasn't feeling any better. My feet swung from the bar stool and I pouted as the music in the background thumped the floor. Song after song went by and I never moved. I barely heard. The dancefloor was on the lower level and I was up on the top level in the lounge/bar area of Club 27. It was definitely nice around here and Clare was super excited to pick me up. Too bad that I can't even enjoy this. I'm too busy wondering about what he's doing. It's been about 24 hours since he tossed me the deuces and left again, promising to call in three to five days. I said okay, but now I wished I didn't. I wished I asked that he call me every night he was in LA. He did text me once he landed and promised not to influence me anymore until we spoke on the phone and in person. I wanted him to 'influence' me every got damn day. I frowned deeper when a heavy sigh beside me caught my attention. I glanced to my left.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, knowing I was wrong, "I know I should be dancing or something, but I'm just not in the mood."

"Then why did I waste my gas and time picking you up?" Clare asked, obviously annoyed by my quiet, anti-social behavior. I shrugged in response.

"I didn't expect to be this ... preoccupied," I said, "Maybe in a little bit, I'll join you guys." I was referring to the other nurses Clare invited from work, with the exception of Shannon. I was thankful that she wasn't going to mess around and bring that heifer in my face.

"Or maybe you'll join us now," she demanded, reaching from my hand and attempting to drag me off the stool. I gripped the counter of the bar and held my ground.

"Clare, if I go down there like this, I'll just be standing in the middle of the dancefloor with the same dead face. You might as well let me stay up here until I feel better."

Clare rolled her eyes, placing her hands on her waist causing her gold bracelets to chime as they slid down her wrists. "You won't be feeling better until that boy is standing right next to you." True, but I didn't say that out loud. I just casted my eyes on my drink and swirled the olive around. Clare sat silently beside me for just a moment before sighing. "Just call him so you can have a good time already." I scoffed and whipped my head around to face her.

"Clare, please, I'd like to keep an ounce of my dignity," I said, "He's barely been gone a day and I'm calling him? No. That's just some desperate shit."

"Well, you are desperate," she pointed out and I glared at her. "Well you are!"

"I'm not desperate, asshole," I pouted, "I'm just... adjusting to him being away right now."

"You're desperate..." Clare mumbled and I pretended not to hear her.

"You know what, this is what I'm talking about anyway," I said, a lightbulb going on in my head, "This shit. This ... missing him stuff. It's what's going to drive me crazy."

"What are you talking about?" Clare asked, placing some money on the bar to get the bartender's attention.

"I'm talking about Justin being away," I sighed as the bartender came over, decked out in all black attired, with the exception of a white napkin in his shirt pocket. He was fairly good looking, but obviously young. He was barely skimming the 21 year line. I wondered if he were even of legal age to bartend. Wasn't there some tiype of restriction?

"What can I get you ladies?" he asked in a deep tone that clashed with his baby face. Olive eyes and peachy skin. His hair was short and spikey and he looked like he smelled like Old Spice and peppermint for some reason. I left my thoughts and lifted my class.

"Martini," I said, "Watermelon."

"Good choice," he smiled before turning to Clare, "And you, beautiful?" Clare giggled like a school girl and I rolled my eyes.

"Let me get a Malibu Bay Breeze," she smiled and he offered her a wink.

"Coming right up," he assured, already grabbing bottles at lightening speed. I kicked Clare discretly and she looked over at me.

"You're drooling," I teased and she rolled her eyes.

"Don't be jealous," she told me as my martini class was suddenly in front of me.

"Thanks," I told the bartender before turning to Clare, "Aren't you married?"

"Shhh...!" Clare hissed as her 'lover' glanced up at us and smiled, "I'm trying to enjoy myself, thank you very much."

"Well, I hope you keep your enjoyment on a faithful level," I warned, "You go to hell for stuff like that." She smacked her lips and took her drink from the hands of her newfound interest's hands.

"Tony," he told her.

"Clare," she replied. He glanced over at me and then turned back to her.

"So I've heard," he smiled, "Your husband is lucky."

"Is he really?" I smartly interrupted and Clare nudged me as Tony laughed.

"From what I see, he is," he said, picking up her hand and giving it a kiss, "The drinks are on me."

"Well, thank you," Clare giggled again and I lifted my glass.

"Thanks, Tony," I smiled as he nodded and walked back up to the opposite end of the bar to help with more orders. He stole a couple of glances in Clare's direction and she smiled brightly before turning back to me.

"You see? That's why you let 'em flirt with you," she said, sipping on her drink and doing a little dance, "This is so good!"

"It always tastes better when it's free," I told her, taking a gulp of my martini, "This is delicious." She winked at me and nodded in agreement as she sipped her Malibu.

"See, that's exactly what you need to be doing," she told me suddenly, "Getting drinks from delectable young men." I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Delectable young men are nothing, but trouble," I said, seeing nothing but Justin, "And you, little Miss. Thang, need to keep away from delectable young men and stay home with your own man." Clare laughed and nonchalantly waved me off.

"Girl, please, that man at home is everything to me. There's not enough free drinks in the world that could change that." She sipped her Malibu again, damn near finishing the entire glass, "I'm more worried about you right now. What are you going to do?" I shrugged, not sure of what I was going to do now or in the future when it came to Justin...If there was a future.

"Clare, I just want to lay down," I complained, "I'm sorry for ruining the night, but I think that's what I'm going to do." I gulped down the last of my martini. "I'll call a cab."

"No, no," she sighed, finishing her Malibu, "I'll take you."

"You sure?" I asked and she nodded, "I mean, are you sure you can drive?" She shot me a look that told me to shut up and I raised my hands in mock surrender. "You just drank that kinda fast. I don't want it hitting you later." She stood and wobbled a little bit. I made a face and she fished her keys from her purse and handed them to me. I smiled to myself triumphantly as I detached her car keys from the ring and handed her back the rest of her keys.

"I'll take your car," I explained, digging through my purse and pulling out forty dollars, "This should be enough to get you home."

"What?" she asked, confused, "I'm going home with you." I shook my head.

"Stay here and have some fun, Clare. Desiree will make sure the cabbie gets you to the right place. She's the designated babysitter of the night, so get drunk and then go home." Clare suddenly reached for me and gave me a hug. I hugged her back automatically before she pulled back and gave me a worried look.

"If you really miss him this bad, then call him tonight. I'm sure he won't mind hearing from you." I rolled my eyes, but nodded.

"I'll call him when it gets to be too much, but right now, I'm just looking to sleep."

"Alright then," Clare sighed, obviously not happy with my answer, "Text me when you get in." I promised her I would and watched her sashay away before I exited the club. Clare had parked two blocks away and even though it was late, downtown Philly was popping tonight. Thirsty Thursday and cheap drinks would make any city come alive. My heels tapped against the cement as I walked quickly to the car, my pepperspray in hand. It was busy, but still wasn't safe, especially when I'm walking alone in heels I can barely stand on, much less run in.

Despite all my paranoia, I got to the car fine and locked the doors the moment I was inside. The car started with ease and I pulled out of the spot as I clipped my seatbelt on. As I turned out on the Roosevelt boulevard, I hit the gas. There were no cops and hardly any cars out here at damn near three in the morning and I was gunning it home. I really did want to go home and sleep. Sleep was a time of emptiness and with my head and heart so full of thoughts, it would be nice to be empty for once.

I sighed as I stopped at a red light and thought of Justin. I missed him and my chest ached with a longing for him. My waist was begging for his arms. My lips still tingled at the thought of his kiss... I was so miserable and he just got home again. It was only last night that he was enveloping me in his arms. I shook my head at how weak I was, pushing back my tears.

I wasn't cut out for the job of being Justin Timberlake's girlfriend. I needed him here with me and reality wouldn't allow that. I'd see him more on television than I would in person. He'll be surrounded by beautiful women and staying as faithful as he can for as long as he can, but... A part of me wasn't so sure about Justin's innocent-no-cheating-ways. He was only human after all. He had to slip up once and I wouldn't even blame him because I'd be too busy beating myself up for being stupid enough to be with him.

The thought of that almost made me sick as the light turned green and I continued on my way. How could Justin want this? How could he enjoy being torn apart and talked about week after week? I hated being the center of attention. I never wanted anybody to look my way. I shied away in the shadows and did what I needed to quickly so I could make my escape. I only have a handful of friends and most of them I meant through other people. Justin's world required so much contact with the outside world and even if I could avoid the limelight in the beginning, Justin and I could become much more serious and... What if we get married? Our wedding will be on Access Hollywood. And if we had kids... They'd grow up to hate all the security they're going to need while growing up. Mike was a nice guy and all, but he wasn't subtle in his size. You could see him a mile away. Privacy would be a privilege and no longer a right...

I didn't want that and as much as I wanted Justin, I needed to have a life that I could enjoy in private with no cameras and a man by my side, not on my phone because he's in Tokyo on tour.

I was back at my place before I knew it and I sighed in relief as I parked Clare's car behind my Lexus. I wanted to just get to bed and stop torturing myself. I already knew my answer and I would call Justin tomorrow rather than prolonging it. My chest hurt and my tears welled up again at the thought of calling him with the news.

I wiped away my tears though, reminding myself that I needed to pull it together if I wanted to sound normal when I was trying to talk to him. I took deep and easy breaths as I walked quickly to my door and unlocked it. It was dark in my house and Bob meowed in the shadows. I wish I had his cat eyes so I could see everything, but I settled for my light switch instead after I locked my door behind me. He was already twisting around my leg, almost making me trip as I tried to avoid kicking him while I shook off my heels. My feet relaxed and I sighed as I stumbled towards the kitchen, my clutch purse tucked securely beneath my arm. The martini's were messing with my head a bit as I switched on the kitchen light and walked towards the fridge to get a bottle of water. I had barely twisted the cap before my phone vibrated. It tickled my arm before I dug it out of my clutch bag. The screen was an unfamiliar number and I rejected the call before tossing it back into my bag.

It was just a second later before that vibration started again and I rolled my eyes at the same unfamiliar digits. I flipped it open this time and sighed into the phone. "Hello?" There was a giggle and some noise in the background.

"Hey..." Slurred, but familiar the voice was and I smiled to myself.

"Clare?" I asked.

"Damn it," she tried to whisper, "She knows who I am!" There was some laughter in the background.

"Who are you talking to, crazy?" I teased and she shushed her entourage before getting back to me.

"Nobody," she lied, "Are you home?"

"Yes, I'm home," I answered, "Where are you?"

"I'm in da club," she sang, doing a terrible redention of Usher's song, "In da club..."

"Are you going home soon?"

"No," she laughed, "I got more drinkin' to do!" I pulled the phone away from my ear as she cackled into the line.

"Okay... text me when you get in...?" I said with uncertainty.

"Okay!" she hollered, "Bye!"

"B-" The line went dead before I even got 'bye' out. I rolled my eyes and smiled to myself as I headed out the kitchen, switching out the lights downstairs as I headed up. I checked all my rooms before going to my bedroom. Bob followed me the entire way before making himself comfortable on the foot of my bed. I unzipped my dress and pulled it down my body, tossing it to the side. It was warm enough, so I just removed my bra, flipped off the light, and slipped into bed with just my underwear on.. I pulled a pillow against my body, pretending it was Justin and sighed.

Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

_________________________________________________

I stretched across my bed and yawned loudly. Today was Friday and it was raining out. Thurder cracked and I jumped a bit, startled by the change in weather. I had never experienced a thunderstorm so early in the morning. I sat up and Bob purred beside me in his sleep. I gently scratched behind his ear, but he didn't move. I now felt a bit chilly and I hugged my bare top as I climbed out of bed and walked straight towards my bureau. I found a cotton night gown and tossed it on. It was hideous, but warm. Justin would eat me alive and call me Grammy if I ever wore this in front of him...

I was smoothing out the wrinkles in my gown as my heart raced. I had to let him know today before he booked any flights here with hopes high and foolish. We would be perfect if he were Matthew, but his title and his status was too much for lil' ol' me. I wasn't meant for Hollywood and cameras and paparazzi and that's what his celebrity lifestyle required. His career was bigger than me. Than us. We'd fail so that his music could succeed. It was only a matter of time... Distance and loneliness would eventually break us part, maybe even make him cheat, and I didn't want that. I couldn't survive knowing that he was that guy when he should've been different.

I sighed and shook my head, glancing up at my alarm clock long enough to see it was almost one in the afternoon. So much for morning, I thought bitterly. I'd brush my teeth and shower before I made the call. I could think over my words and relax a little beforehand. Yeah, that sounded like a plan worthy of execution. I still had knots in my stomach as I fumbled over my words, mumbling my speech in a hundred different ways as I showered, brushed, and dressed myself in sweats and a tank. I was now flipping through the channels of my television with my cell phone in hand. It felt heavy as I settled on 'Divorce Court' and imagined myself on the stand with Justin, telling the judge that I should've known better than to mess with him.

That was silly. Justin and I would never be on a show so tacky (yet entertaining). We'd have enough respect for each other to be civilized, right? We'd just softly separate and nobody would have to know... I frowned, knowing it was a lie. Justin Timberlake's break up would be front page news. I muted the television and flipped open my phone. The screen was a picture of me cheesing my ass off. Justin loved it because he said he loved my smile...I opened up my contacts, feeling my courage depleting. I pressed the letter 'M' and found Matthew three names down. Justin's number was highlighted. All I had to do was press the green button and the conversation would begin after a few short rings.

But my thumb refused to move. As much as I was screaming at myself to get it over and done with, my heart was clinging to the last bit of hope I had for him and I. Was I being too rash? Did I really want this to not work? I couldn't be his friend if I couldn't be with him - that much I knew. I would just keep loving him and it would be torture, especially if he found somebody else in my presence. It would be better if I just wasn't around.

But I didn't want to not be around... But I didn't want to be heart broken in the end either, especially if I could stop it now. It was common sense to prevent yourself from getting hurt. You're taught to survive. Save money for a rainy day. Don't walk down dark allies. Carry pepper spray. Learn to fight. Get life insurance. Get vaccinated. Be educated. Life was about precaution. You had to keep yourself from harm. That's what I was doing. I was keeping myself from harm.

I took a deep breath and choked on it the moment my phone vibrated in my hand, Matthew's name flashing on the screen impatiently. I stared at it. My fingers shaking as it vibrated some more. I pressed the green button with my eyes closed and pressed the phone against my ear. I didn't speak, but I was breathing hard enough for him to hear me.

"Ummm...Sash?" a hesitant voice spoke into the line softly and I bit my bottom lip. "Hellurrrr...?" he joked and I finally caved in.

"Hey," I said, sounding a lot more upset than I intended.

"What's wrong?" Justin asked, concerned as ever. I could practically see the creases in his forehead as he furrows his brows.

"Nothing," I lied, "No, there's something." There was a pause.

"Are you mad that I called so early?" he asked, "I just figured I'd check up on you. It's just a day early."

"I don't care about that," I assured, "I'm glad you called. I was having a hard time calling you."

"Something wrong with your phone?" he inquired, making me snort. Of course he'd think something was wrong with my actual phone. He was probably already thinking a new one he could buy me and force me to use.

"No, but I might have something wrong with me," I said with a sad smile.

"What's that suppose to mean?" he asked, still sounding worried, but curious. I paused and thought over my words. Nothing seemed right. It was all jumbled up and wouldn't come out of my mouth. My stomach was so knotted up that I felt like I was going to throw up with all my nervousness. Breaking his heart was as nervewrecking of an experience as giving him my heart was. A part of me was ready to do it, but another part... not so much.

"Well... I thought about us being together..." I started out, trying to sound neutral. I could feel my voice starting to shake. I tried to remind myself to stay calm, but my hands were fidgeting and I was counting my breaths as I breathed.

"And...?" he asked, his voice cheerful and I could practically feel his smile against my cheek. I closed my eyes, kicking myself mentally. Way to go, asshole. Now he'll really be heart broken. I didn't mean for my tone to give him hope. It sounded sad to me, at least. Maybe he had already told himself that I'd say yes. Of course I'd say yes. We were in love and meant to be in Justin's fairytale world. The boy was too naive at times.

"And..." I didn't want to be mean. I didn't want to cut down his hopes and kill his dreams for us, but I had to. I just didn't know the worlds to use. How do you tell someone the last thing they want to hear? I guess you didn't tell them at all because my mouth kept opening and shutting with no words.

"Sash?" Justin called out after a moment of silence.

"I'm here," I said.

"You're not saying anything," he said, stating the obvious, "I'm going to assume that you don't want to tell me your conclusion."

"I want to tell you, but I don't," I said, "I'm sorry... I don't want to hurt you, but I-"

"Sash..." Justin whined into the line. "You cannot be serious right now!"

"I am serious," I told him, wiping my face off with my arm as tears wet my cheeks, "I"m very serious." Justin groaned like a five year old having a tantrum before mumbling something I couldn't quite make out.

"I don't understand," he spoke out loud, "You don't want this? You don't want us?"

"It's not a matter of want," I said, "I want a lot of things, but that doesn't mean anything. I need a stable relationship and you can't give me that. I thought about this -"

"When did you think about it?" Justin asked, interrupting me again, "It's been a day!"

"I don't think I can mull over this much longer," I said, "I've thought about us being together for a while now. Not just last night, but from the moment I met you."

"And your conclusion is that you don't want to be with me?" he asked in a disbelieving tone, "That's bullshit."

I stressed, "It's not bullshit, it's how I feel. I don't say your feelings are bullshit -"

"I beg to differ," he interrupted, again. "You're saying my feelings are bullshit now by saying that you don't want us together."

"I know you care about me-"

"I love you," he corrected, making me growl in frustration, "My feelings have surpassed the caring stage."

"Fine, you love me," I relented, "But that's not enough. Life doesn't give a shit about your love or my love or our love. I know you think I don't see things for what they are because I'm so pessimistic, but I can't be in this oblivious world of optimisum either. I have to put my foot down and be honest with myself. My life is not your life. Our worlds cannot coincide. I can't be caught in your limelight and you can't sit here and say that I won't be."

"That comes with the territory," he said simply, "If you date somebody of my stature, than yeah, there will be limelight, but you'll get used to that." I shook my head, even though he couldn't see me.

"No, I won't get used to people jumping out of bushes to take my picture."

"They usually don't jump out from the bush; they prefer to be hidden." I snarled and he chuckled. "It's true!"

"I'm being serious, Justin," I complained, "I'm not going to be your tabloid partner in crime. I refuse to be away from you for months at a time. You're already living in Los Angeles. Do you have any idea how hard it was for you to be gone for just one day? I almost lost my mind! What am I going to do when you're on tour or busy with work?"

"Sash, you're not the only one who was missin' somebody," he said, "It was as hard for me as it was for you. I missed you terribly and when I'm on tour, I'm going to miss you ten times more. You shouldn't let missing each other ruin the idea of you and I."

I rolled my eyes. He made everything seem so black and white. "Justin, fine. Maybe missing you a little bit wouldn't be a legit reason to not want to do this, but if you're half way across the country and I'm not going to see you tomorrow or two days later or even a week later, than I reason enough to become frustrated, lonely, and alarmed that maybe you're not as busy as you say you are. Maybe you can come visit me, but you don't want to. Maybe things will change and you'll get tired of missing me too. Of being lonely and frustrated.... Then...who knows? Will you cheat? Will we just break up?"

"I'm not telling you again, Sash: I will never cheat on you - or anybody for that matter."

"You cheated on Jessica, technically," I said, "You cheated on her emotionally and you kissed me. Twice!"

"Are you complaining?" he asked sarcastically, "I'm kind of in love with you, Sash."

"Well, what if you kind of fall in love with somebody on tour? Or at least be attracted to them." I challenged and he laughed. He downright laughed at my question and I stood on the line and listened. I was enraged into silence. What the fuck was so funny?

"Sash..." he tried to speak through laughter, "You're kidding, right?"

"No I'm the fuck not, dickbag," I snapped, "What the fuck are you laughing at? You thinking cheating on me is funny?"

"No," he settled, still chuckling a little, "But the idea of me just falling in love with somebody on tour is... ridiculous. Sash, I fell for you because I thought I was allowed to. I was amazed and mesmerized by you. It's not because I just thought you were hot. I see hot chicks everyday. LA is full of beautiful people, but you have my heart, right?"

"So you fell for the ugly duckling, I get it-"

"You're not ugly," he quickly defended, "You're more beautiful than any of the Barbies walking around this town. They don't compare to you 'cause you're on a whole other level, baby, I swear." I rolled my eyes again.

"You're full of shit, but thank you," I said softly, "But, Justin, you'll get lonely and when a man is lonely he gets horny..."

"And when I get horny, I'll want to fuck the shit out of you," he added in, "And that's what I'll do the moment I see you. Whether it's a day apart or three months apart, I'll be waiting for that moment. I'll be dreaming about it. I'll be right-handin' myself until it happens. But that's as much cheating as I'll ever do."

"I didn't need to know all that," I said, pretending to be disgusted, but the thought of him doing that actually turned me on. Especially since he'd be thinking about me... It almost made me change my mind. Almost.

"You did, actually," he argued back, "I'm being a hundred percent honest with you."

"So you'll just be right-handing yourself all night, everyday, until you see me again?"

"Yes," he said without hesitation, "I'll expect you to do that same." I didn't acknowledge that statement, somewhat embarassed by the thought of telling him I masturbated. It seemed private and he was sharing it with me like it was normal conversation.

"Well, I also don't want to have to change my life to accomadate yours," I spoke suddenly, remembering the purpose of this phone call, "And I'm going to have to do that. The longer we're together, the move exposure I'm going to get to the outside world. I won't have any privacy. I don't want people lurking in my bushes out back trying to get a pic of you. I don't want you in LA while I'm here. I don't want to uproot myself over to LA to make you happy either."

"You don't have to uproot yourself," he sighed into the line. I could hear him shifting around, "Listen, I thought about this. I can definitely get you here and home before the night is over if you want. I can arrange for private jets. I can get a penthouse in downtown Philly and get some work done down there. Plus, when you visit me in LA, I have a place for you to stay, as long as you want."

"You can't throw all that money around and move your work every which way to make me happy," I said, "I just told you I'm not doing that, so I don't want you to do that either."

"And I just told you I love you," he shot back, "And your happiness is worth the penthouse and the private jet. Sash, you being with me is worth everything in the world. And I'll give you that. I'll give you whatever you want and need."

"I need you here with me, normal and unrecognizable to the world. Paparazzi and tabloid free. Millionaire to nothing. I want Matthew. I want you to be on my sofa, befriending Bob and tying my Chuck laces. I want chicken sandwiches at unreasonable hours of the night and I want you to kiss my cheek just because you wanted to know what it would be like..." I whispered sadly, "I want you to promise that we'll never break up and hurt each other 'cause I'll probably never recover from that pain...That's what I want and that's what I need."

Justin sighed and I knew I asked for things he wanted to give me but couldn't. "I can't give you normalcy and privacy. My face does bring a lot of attention and I'm sorry for that. I can't empty my accounts and just be Matthew again. Even if I were broke, I'd still be me. I can sleep on your couch and hold Bob and make you mediocre chicken sandwiches, but I can't promise to never break your heart or hurt you. That would a lie to say that I can and I'm giving you nothing but honesty. I'm going to fuck up and you're going to fuck up and we'll hurt, but we'll get through it together. I can't promise you forever, but I can promise you my heart. I can promise you that I'll love you the best way I know how, but I'm only a man. I can't predict the future. I don't know if tomorrow's coming or if today's it for me. I just know that when I think of being happy, it's with you. When I think of love, it's you. When I think of my future, you're in it. When I wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night, you're on my mind. I don't know what else to say or do, but I'm scared of the unknown too. I just know that us being together, no matter how long or short, is worth whatever might happen to us. I also know that not being with you at all... That's unfathomable. I can't force you to be with me, but I can tell you that everyday that I'm not with you, I'll be suffering. I'll be missing you. I'll be trying to think of a million different ways to make you change your mind."

I listened to his words and nodded my head along. He should be a politician. Justin could talk you into believing anything. His swag, in combination with his sweet words was like poetry. If I didn't know anybody, I would've told him okay, but I was smart enough to know that words were words.

"I'm sorry," I told him after a moment, "I want to tell you yes, but I can't right now. Maybe I need to think this over some more."

"You can take all the time you need, Sash, but we can't do couple things and act like a couple whenever we're together until you know what you want. I don't want to keep teasing myself anymore." Justin told me.

"What are you talking about?" I tried to play dumb as Bob yawned, finally waking up as I stroked his back.

"I'm talking about kissing, and holding hands and each other," he clarified, "I'm talking about making love and flirting."

"Okay, fine," I said, somewhat bitter, "If you don't start it, we won't do it."

"Even if I do slip up and start it, you shouldn't let me."

"I won't," I assured, "We're friends now, I guess. Until I think this through." Justin grumbled something beneath his breath.

"Yeah, we're friends," he all but groaned out, sounding as frustrated with the idea as I felt. I frowned deeply, knowing the ball was in my court and all I could do was stare at it and wish that it would somehow make the decision for me. . .