I had stayed up for a good majority of the night. I couldn't sleep. Rachel and Justin arguing was continually replaying in my mind. I looked at it from every angle and came to one conclusion: his family wouldn't approve of me because of my race. I didn't want to hear that though. It was one thing to suspect it, but for it to be confirmed made my stomach weak. I didn't even finish my dinner. I had gone upstairs in hopes that Justin would follow soon after, but when I rolled over at 2:34AM and his side was still empty, I figured that it was a lost cause. I knew that I had to be right. He was avoiding me. Even at dinner he sat next to me quietly and went on with the family chitter chatter without acknowledging me. If I hadn't known better, I would've thought he was mad at me.

I didn't get it though. Why would he avoid me like that? Wouldn't he want to reassure me that I was worrying too much? He was the one who said that his family 'wasn't like that' when I had brought up the whole race issue in the first place. He even laughed like I was being absurd... I ended up falling asleep around three in the morning and I woke up at noon. I needed to stop sleeping in like that, but I felt so exhausted, even as I rolled out of bed nearly nine hours after I fell asleep. Justin's side was as empty as it was last night and I wondered if he ever came to bed. I decided to just shower and pull on a sundress dress, grabbing my cell and heading downstairs.

The living room was empty and I headed towards the kitchen. The door swung open before I could get to it and Rachel glared at me as she stepped past me. I rolled my eyes and made my way into the kitchen, making a bowl of Special K before eating it alone at the kitchen table. I looked out into the yard from where I sat and Brian and Brennan were nowhere in sight. Was nobody home? It was hard to tell in a mansion. I finished my cereal, washed my dishes, and headed out. I was about to reach the living room until I noticed another hall to my right. I hadn't noticed it before now, so my curiousity got the best of me. I headed down and there were three doors, spaced apart a good distance. I opened up the first one and flipped on the light switch. I gasped a little as an array of awards, some hanging on the walls, others in glass cases, took over the room before me.

Grammys and GQ awards. A couple of surfboards from TeenChoice. It was so weird to know that these were acknowledgements of his accomplishments. I always wondered what celebrities did with all of them... I guess they all had rooms. I didn't step in any further, afraid to knock something out of place in the mist of my snooping, so I backed out and closed the door after I hit the lights. I made my way up to door number two. I opened that carefully, hitting the lights as well. This one wasn't so bad. A desk and a bright blue guitar lying against it. There were files and plants... It was an office. I guess he was a business man too, so it would make sense to have one. I shrugged, hit the lights, and exited.

Door number three was further separated than door one and two. I opened it and the door creaked like it needed oil. I hit the lights and was stunned by the sight before me. A glass incased room, soundboards, keyboard, and guitars. There was some stuff I didn't recognize and a notebook and pen tossed on the seat of a chair... A recording studio, right in the middle of his house. What the hell? This was strange even though Justin was a musician. I wasn't expecting an entire recording studio. I was amazed and I stepped inside this time, careful not to trip on any cords. This was where the magic happened. I wasn't much into his music, but he was passionate about it. He loved it and a part of me wanted to love it too just because he did. It was hard to explain, but I could feel him everywhere in here. It was like I haven't seen him in forever and I was reminiscing.

I picked up the notebook tossed on the chair, took a seat, and placed it on my lap. There were random lines written down and crossed out. Edited and reworded. This was his song book obviously. His loopy writing was big and clear. I immediately thought of my late birthday gift when I saw his lettering. I read some of the phrases. They were love songs mostly, but there were some angrier heart felt stuff too. I couldn't tell if these were new or old. I didn't have any of his albums, so it could've been anything. All I knew was that I loved every word as my eyes scanned them. Some of the lines he crossed out were the most beautiful and I wondered why he didn't like them.

I was so into the book that when my phone rang, I screamed and dropped it along with his notes. Loose sheets fell out and I jumped from the seat to collect them.

"Shit," I grumbled, knowing that he'd definitely notice I was in here now that I was down on my knees, scrambling to reorganize his scattered sheet music. The phone continued to ring and as I reached for it, my eyes caught sight of a glossy photo. It must've fallen out of the book as well. I picked it up slowly as the image became more clear. It was of him and Jessica, surrounded by others. I recognized some of the people - Lynn, Joy, Steve, John, Randall, Paul, and Rachel - but the others were unfamiliar. Justin was kissing an elderly woman's cheek and I assumed it was his grandmother or something. It was a family portrait, Jessica and all, tucked inside of a notebook full of love songs...

I stared at the picture, knowing it was the past, but I couldn't help but feel jealous. She fit right in. He had taken her home and with the way the family crowded around her, shoulder to shoulder, they liked her at the very least. I thought back to yesterday's argument and realized that I'd probably never quite get this family portrait. I'd never quite fit in... I felt myself getting choked up at the thought. I wanted to fit into his life so badly and if his celebrity wasn't enough, now race was the issue. I hadn't even really thought about that until the moment came and now I wish I did.

I sighed and grabbed the rest of the scattered sheets, neatly piling them together and sticking them into the book. The photo was still in my hands though. As much as it pained me, I couldn't stop staring at it. It was honestly really beautiful. Everybody looked so damn happy.

My phone rang again, this time not startling me as much. I flipped it open without a glance at who was calling.

"Yes?" I answered, sat on the floor with a thump.

"Were you ever planning to call me?" Clare asked into the line, "I know you miss me by now." She laughed at her own joke and I smiled softly to myself.

"I kinda do," I admitted, "I've been kinda distracted though. So sorry."

"It's okay..." Clare said wearily, "Are you alright?" I held the picture tighter and shook my head even though she couldn't see me.

"Not at all," I said softly, feeling my eyes well up, "I'm so frustrated, Clare. I can't be happy. There's always something."

"What the hell happened?" Clare asked, alarmed. "Did you and Justin have a fight?"

"No, not really," I sniffled, "Apparently his family isn't too fond of our racial differences though."

"What!" Clare shrieked, "What did they say? I will come down there and -"

"Calm down," I said, "His cousin's the only one who's really like that, and she didn't really say anything racist. She's more concerned about my homewrecking, gold digging ways."

"You're not a gold digging homewrecker," Clare argued, "Did you hit her?" I laughed.

"No, but I wanted to," I said.

"You should've knocked every tooth out of her mouth 'cause I would've," she grumbled, "You were the one letting that boy stay with you when he had nothing to his name."

"I know," I said.

"And homewrecking? Didn't that hoebag ex of his cheat on him?" Clare asked.

"Yeah, but she's Jessica's best friend or something," I said, "Justin told me to ignore her."

"Easy for him to say," Clare said, "But what's with the race thing?"

"He didn't take me to Tennessee because his family won't approve," I said, "At least that's the general conclusion."

"Oh..." Clare hissed out sympathically, "I wasn't really expecting that."

"Why?" I asked, "He's white and southern. I put two and two together."

"Well... Justin's not like that," Clare said simply, "He's in love with you and he did that without much hesitation. I would think he grew up in an openminded environment." I shrugged and pulled at the corners of the photograph.

"Apparently not..." I sighed, "I don't know what to do, Clare... It's not so bad. I got caught by paparazzi and he literally held my hand through it. I feel kinda normal here... But then this stupid race thing comes up and I'm back at square one." I shook my head, feeling discouraged. "Maybe this just isn't suppose to happen."

"Don't say that," Clare immediately scolded, "Y'all love each other. There are just some bumps in the road."

"There are moon craters in our road, Clare," I shot back, "I love him and he loves me, but Justin is a family man. He loves his family like... Like I don't even know. They're all friends or something. I can't compete with the relationship he has with them. If they don't want me around, I'm not going to be around."

"Justin will fight for you, Sash," Clare assured, "Do you really think he's gonna leave you because at first they don't approve over something as stupid as the color of your skin?"

"Yes," I said, "How am I suppose to be in his life when the people closest to him don't want me around?"

"Didn't he fly out half his family up to see you?" she asked.

"Yeah, but that was immediate family," I said, "Those who were able to come."

"Do they like you?" she questioned and I shrugged.

"I guess... Except Rachel." Clare sucked her teeth.

"Forget her," she said, "If you have his mother's approval, that's enough."

"She is his best friend..." I tried to reason with myself.

"See, even better," Clare encouraged, "She's the most important person. Just stay on her good side and he'll be yours forever." I stared down at the picture in my hands before placing it on the floor beside me, face down. I shifted my vision to my barefeet as my legs stretched in front of me. I tried to think about it through Clare's mind view. Lynn was his mother and he loved her more than anyone. I could already see that with the way he spoke about her and with her. She did seem to like me enough.

"Ugh..." I groaned, "I dunno. I guess you're right, but... I'm not really sure about his relationships with family down south though. He could be as close to them as he is to his mama."

"Does he talk about them?" she asked.

"Well, no, but he probably didn't bring them up on purpose," I said, getting a bit annoyed, "I asked him in the car. I specifically asked him if he told his family I was black and he told me it didn't matter. He said they weren't like that..."

"Well, the ones you've met aren't like that," Clare said, "Maybe that's what he meant."

"But he knew I was worried, so he should've -"

"Told you his family was racist and had you packin' your bags and heading right back home?" Clare inserted.

"He should've told me," I stated firmly.

"He was worried that you'd freak out probably," Clare cooed, "I'm sorry this is happening though. You guys are always going through something."

"Really? I haven't noticed," I said sarcastically, "He won't even speak to me now. He didn't even come to bed last night."

"Hmmm..." Clare thought, "Maybe he didn't want you to bring it up or something. That's an awkward conversation."

"Awkward or not, it's a big deal. We should discuss it."

"You should..." Clare agreed, "Maybe you should call him and see where he is." I rolled my eyes.

"I shouldn't have to call someone who shares a bed with me," I argued, "He can come to me whenever he's ready."

"Whatever you want to do," she told me simply, "But I have to get back to work. I'm getting looks from people for being on the phone so long."

"I wish you were here," I frowned, "I'm gonna lose my mind and it's been three days."

"It's just the beginning of the third day too," Clare pointed out, "Good luck with that."

"Thanks..." I mumbled.

"Give Justin a hello for me if he ever comes out of hiding," she joked and I smirked.

"Whatever," I sighed, "I'll call you later."

"You better," she told me.

"Oh and give Bob a good rub down for me," I frowned, missing my cat.

"Of course," she assured. We said our goodbyes and hung up. I sat on the floor for a moment longer before I stood, taking the photo from the floor and placing it somewhere within in his songbook again. I exited the space and shut the door behind me. I glanced down the hall and noticed another side door I hadn't noticed before. I figured I had come this far and my curiousity was still going. I heading down towards it, my barefeet creeking against the wooden floors.

My fingers touched the brass knob of the door that turned smoothly and opened quietly as I walked in. There was exercise equipment in a completely white room. Weights, benches, treadmills, and an eliptical and other stuff I couldn't name, but had seen in the hospital gym back at home. As I trailed in, a sweat covered back caught my eye.

I frowned a little as Justin sat with his back to me, curling his bicep to lift a weight. His guardian angel tattoo glistened as the muffled sound of music came from his Ipod earphones, tucked into his ears. He didn't know I was here and I was tempted to back out of the room and leave, but I crept around the equipment and made my way over to him instead. I was about two feet away before his head whipped around and his wide eyes landed on me.

He sighed heavily and dropped his weight on the floor with a thud. "Hey," he said as he pulled out of his earphones, "You're up."

I nodded. "Yep," I said simply as he looked away from and tied the cord around his Ipod, "So are you." He chuckled, but it didn't seem very amused.

"Good observation," he told me, standing and turning to face me. I had stopped walking the moment he turned and saw me, so the distance between us only made things more awkward. I glanced down at his sweaty pecs and abs before looking him in the eye again.

"So... what's up?" I asked and he raised a brow, looking down as he tucked his Ipod into his black mesh basketball shorts.

"What do you mean?" he asked his pocket, taking entirely too long to put his musical device away.

"Justin," I said, trying to get him to look up at me, "Justin, I'm up here." He looked up and smiled softly.

"You're actually down here," he said, taking a jab at my height. I rolled my eyes, not liking his lame attempt to change the subject.

"I don't like this," I told him, "I don't like you avoiding me."

"I'm not avoiding you," he quickly denied, bending down to retrieve the weight he dropped earlier, "I was working out."

"And last night?" I asked as he made his way over to a weight shelf he had set up.

"What about last night?" he asked, his back to me again as he placed his exercise equipment back where it was.

"You didn't come to bed," I said.

"I came to bed," he argued, picking up some sweaty tank and pulling it over his head.

"Not before three in the morning," I whined, "I waited up for you." He shrugged and made his way over to a blue towel hanging from some bar.

"I was up with Trace," he told me simply, "We were playing pool in my game room."

"You have a game room?" I asked in disbelief watching as he dried his sweat covered face.

"It's on the other side of the house," he explained, "I can shower and we can play something if you want." I almost took him up on his offer before I realized it was yet another distraction.

"You're full of shit, Justin," I said, deciding to just call him on it rather than beating around the bush. He had the nerves to actually look offended as he dried himself off.

"How am I full of shit?" he questioned. "I was playing pool with Trace. You can ask him if you want to."

"I don't care about you playing pool," I said, "I'm care about why you played pool until I was sleeping so you wouldn't have to talk to me about what happened yesterday."

"What happened yesterday?" he asked and I groaned.

"You have to be fucking kidding me," I said. He shrugged.

"I'm not," he said, "Nothing happened yesterday."

"You and Rachel arguing happened yesterday," I said, "Do I need to refresh your memory with a play by play explanation of what happened?" He rolled his eyes.

"That was nothing."

"That was something," I argued, "You need to tell me what the hell it was about."

"Sash, I'm really tired and I don't feel like arguing with you right now," he said, "I'm not bringing up some old argument -"

"It's not old!" I interrupted when he tried to walk around me. I stepped in his path. "Justin, we're going to discuss this like adults."

"Now you want to talk?" he asked and I furrowed my brows.

"What does that mean?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Nothing," he said, making me ten times angrier.

"Stop saying things are 'nothing'," I seethed, "Just tell me."

"Sash -"

"Justin, I already have a pretty good idea about what it was anyway," I confessed.

"Then what do you need me for?" he snapped, "You know everything, right?"

"No, I don't," I said, "I don't know why somebody who's suppose to love me won't help me understand something that's upsetting me." He rolled his eyes and sighed.

"That's the problem right there," he said softly.

"What?" I asked and he fiddled with the towel in his hands.

"I don't want to upset you," he said, "I don't want to upset somebody that I love."

"Then talk to me," I pleaded, reaching towards him to take one of his hands, "I'm just asking you to talk to me." My whole body relaxed when his tense shoulders fell and his eyes met mine. They were so soft and sad that I felt bad for raising my voice at him. He looked as confused as I felt.

"I swear I didn't even think about things like that until Rachel said something yesterday," he rambled, "I knew Rachel's family was kinda... narrrowminded, but we're not that close to them anyway. Rachel's the only one I really speak to, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that... yeah, my whole family's pretty old fashioned in that way. My whole hometown has this kinda... separate but equal vibe. I have all kinds of neighbors, but we don't mingle with each other... Not romantically anyway. I can barrow a cup of sugar from Mr. Greg, but I can't date his daughter, ya know? I never noticed that before... I never noticed how that was because I never had to deal with it. If anybody in my family's dating someone, they're as white as me, ya know? There's nothing interracial going on, but I just thought that was just how it turned out. I didn't realize it was a choice." He sighed and shook his head as I played with his fingers, letting his words sink in.

"I will confess this though," he told me reluctantly, "I did fly my family out here on purpose because my other cousins - Rachel's brothers - are staying my grandma's place right now because they got into a huge fight with their parents. They're 18 and 21, but they are pretty foul with their mouths. I knew that if I brought you home, they'd say something and I'd have to kill them myself." I didn't know whether or not I should laugh at that, so I just brought his hands to my lips, kissing his knuckles gently.

"Justin, I just want to be with you," I confessed, feeling vulnerable, "I love you and I don't care what other people think of that, but I am scared that your family not approving of me will eventually... tear us apart, I guess. I know that you have good relations with your family and I don't want to cause you any drama either."

"Look, even if I do lose family and friends... That's fine," he told me simply, "They weren't really family or friends if they can't support me. They should want me to be happy with whoever I choose and Sash, that's you. Black, white, Asian, or Latino. You're who I need." I sighed and shook my head. I knew that family could be a pain in the ass better than anyone, but I also knew that they were irreplacable and relationships fall apart.

"Justin, if we break up, you'll look like an asshole for ditching half your family and friends for me," I told him bluntly, "I mean, yeah, they're dumb for casting me out because of my race, but they are still your family. Nobody can love you like they love. Nobody has your back like they have your back-"

"I beg to differ," he interrupted, "You love me just as good as them and you have my back just as much as them." I rolled my eyes.

"It's not the same thing," I told him, "Justin, I can leave you. Or you can leave me. We can break up and never make up again... Family never leaves - ever. No matter how much we push Uncle Jim away or argue with our parents - they are still family. When shit goes down, they're usually the first people we rely on. I know that this is especially true for you. You've told me time and time again that you really just have your family and a handful of friends that you trust. I don't want to take that away from you. I don't want to put a strain on that bond you have."

"And you won't," he told me softly, "Sash, you're not the problem here. I appreciate what you're saying, but the only way no drama will happen with my family is if we break up right now and trust me - that's not happening." I groaned in frustration because he was right.

"Well... I don't know what to say then," I said, tossing my hands up in surrender.

"Just tell me that you forgive my lame attempts to avoid you and that you love me," he told me with a small smile.

"I forgive your immature, unnecessary, lame attempts to avoid me and I love you," I said and he frowned.

"I don't remember the terms 'immature' and 'unnecessary' coming out of my mouth."

"Do you want to be forgiven or not?" I asked before he playfully slapped my leg with his sweat towel. "Justin!" I shrieked, punching his arm and regretting it as soon as my fist came in contact with his sweaty skin.

"That's what you get," he teased when I wiped his sweat juice on a dry spot on his shirt.

"You need to shower - immediately."

"Why? You don't like me sweaty, baby?" He tried to take a step toward but I took three steps back.

"I only don't mind the sweat if I'm the cause of it," I said, "Gym sweat is a no-no." He laughed heartily and nodded.

"I suppose that's fair," he told me, "I'll wash up and then we'll go and take a walk or something." He took my hand and I wrinkled my nose as he chuckled and pulled me forward. We walked quietly through the hall and as we passed his studio door, I looked down at my feet, remembering that stupid family portrait.

"Your house is too big," I said softly, "I can't believe you have a studio in this place."

"You noseying around?" Justin joked, giving my hand a squeeze. I looked up at his smiling face and I knew that he loved me. I felt safer and assured that maybe things wouldn't be so bad, but I at the same time, I couldn't trust the strength of that love 100%.

"I was bored. I though nobody but Rachel was around..." I explained sheepishly, "Besides, I found you in the end anyway. It was worth noseying around."

"Well, nobody's around 'cause they went to the beach this morning. Rachel didn't feel like it 'cause she's PMSing or something," he rolled his eyes, "I can show you the rest of the house though. I have a mini arcade, a guest house, and we can check out my garage too. I have some new motorcycles we can ride -"

"Slow your roll, buddy," I interrupted, "I will gladly look at the motorcycles, but if you think I'm navigating some overpowered bike on the unknown streets of LA, you're crazy." He laughed.

"You can just ride with me," he suggested, "I'll give you a helmet and you can hold me tight." He batted his lashes at me and I slapped his arm with a small laugh.

"Stop making fun of me," I whined, "And my feelings remain the same - hell no." He sucked his teeth and sighed.

"Fine," he whined, "But one of these days..."

"You'll have to knock me out with a horse tranquilizer first," I told him, making him chuckle. "I'm not joking."

"It's funny because I know how serious you are," he explain, "You're too cute." I rolled my eyes.

"What did I tell you about that awful word?" I reminded. He pinched my side, making me giggle.

"Shush it up, woman," he playfully reprimanded as we finally made to his living room, "I'mma shower and we'll take your cute butt on a tour before bike riding."

"Yeah, okay," I said sarcastically, letting go of his hand to plop on the couch. He leant down to kiss my lips gently.

"You're getting on that bike," he told me softly, turning to take the stairs. I rolled my eyes, but didn't argue, knowing that I was NOT getting on that bike no matter what he thought.

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I couldn't see anything.

It was probably because my eyes were squeezed close so tightly that I felt like I was pushing my eyeballs deeper into my skull as my arms wrapped around his thin waist in an attempt keep my life from ending way before its time.

Got fucking damn him.

"You okay back there?" Justin's voice came a little muffled from within his helmet as he slowed down to a stop. The growling engine was still going, the sound of the LA streets were bustling around me... We hadn't reached out destination. It was just another red light. I decided it was safe enough to lift my heavy-helmet covered head and glare at him through the tinted eye shield.

"If we crash, you better hope we die because I'm gonna kill you for making me ride this thing." He laughed, fully amused as the light turned green and he revived the engine.

"I love you too!" he obnoxiously chuckled before I dropped my head back down and held my breath as he jetted forward. I felt the motorcyle weaving quickly. The wind was blocking out any normal sounds except for the motorcycles roar. I was completely rigid and Justin was relaxed as he rode along, singing at the top of his lungs.

I really did love this man because I was trusting him with my life right now. I had never riden a motorcycle. I don't think I've ever touched one. He promised me that he'd just take me around the parking lot and if I hated it he'd stop. I stupidly agreed. This was after he made me put my bathing suit on beneath my dress, saying he wanted to meet his family up at the shore. Next thing I know he was speeding down his ramp towards the highway and I was screaming. It was either tuck and roll or hold on tight.

I should've just tucked and rolled.

It took another twenty minutes, but the bike finally slowed and the ignition cut off. I still wanted as Justin shuffled around and my ears popped, allowing crashing waves and happy voices to filter in more clearly.

"We're here, sweetness," Justin laughed. I lifted my head, opened my eyes, and surveyed the area to make sure he wasn't lying. He was parked inbetween Trace's van and his mother's car. The beach was down beneath us over the railings of the boardwalk. I sighed and pulled off my helmet. My face was cooled back the ocean breeze and I shook my curls until they felt normal again.

"You are a very lucky man," I said, sliding off the back of the bike as he hopped off the front a moment later. He chuckled and kicked down the kick stand before removing his helmet. He quickly pulled out some shades and covered his face. He locked our helmets to the bike with a chain and turned to smile at me.

"We still have the ride back," he told me, and I snapped my head back.

"You're out of your rabbit mind if you think I'm riding back with you," I told him, "I'm riding with Trace or your mama." I knew he was rolling his eyes, but I still allowed him to take my hand and lead me toward the boardwalk path to the beach.

"Sash, baby, you're gonna have to loosen up," he told me, "I'm an adventureous man."

"Then you picked the wrong woman," I told him, "Adventure to me is getting drunk and calling people. Even that's crazy." He laughed heartily and I cracked a smile despite myself.

"Damn, granny, you have a lot to learn," he told me playfully, "But don't worry - Big Daddy's willing to teach you." I snorted a laugh.

"Big Daddy?" I giggled, "Justin, the only think I'm willing to let you teach me is anything within the confides of your bedroom. And I think that's pretty nice of me."

"True, true," he agreed, "But riding a motorcycles pretty sensual. I mean, you're scared and have nothing but me to hold onto but me. You feel the way I move the bike - every curve and bump. The engine is always groaning beneath you. You're just an inch away from death and danger. You're heart's beating, you're sweating... The wind is caressing every last inch of your skin, and you can hardly take a normal breath... You were whimpering the hold ride. I felt your body on me and your heart beat against my back and all I could think about was how amazing your ass must've looking riding on the back of me... Sash, I almost turned around and took you home - or the nearest hotel." I stopped walking and he turned to look at me.

"You are such a freak," I said, oddly turned on and disturbed. He shrugged.

"You say it like it's a bad thing," he smirked, "Last I checked, you didn't mind."

"I don't," I assured, continuing our walk hand-in-hand, "But you just made something I hate sound like something I need to do again.. and again." He laughed heartily.

"Well, thank you," he smiled, "It's a gift." The conversation ended on that note because Steve's little self came running up to us, smack into Justin's legs as Lynn waved at me from their umbrella near the water's edge. I hadn't been to a real beach and Justin assured me that I'd have fun. I was more worried about not being able to swim, but he assured me that we wouldn't go out that deep, but if we did, he has me and won't let the sharks drag me away.

There were enough people in the water though to assure me it was shark free and as we approached Lynn and Paul, I could see Trace and the rest of the gang out at sea, including a pretty blonde Trace was holding in his arms. I was curious, but Justin was hugging Lynn and handshaking with Paul. I gave Lynn a hug as well as Steven rambled on about a crab he apparently caught earlier because it pinched his toe. I glanced down at the sand beneath my feet, worried.

"Baby, could you lotion my back for me?" Justin asked, getting my attention. He was down to just swim trunks, his clothes piled into Lynn's gigantic beach bag. He was holding up some sunscreen and I took it from him and poured some into my hands. I rubbed it over his back and shoulders and took some for myself. It was brighter than bright as I removed my dress and revealed my tankini top and shorts. The black was slimming, but it was a plain, safe bathing suit. I wanted to just sit beneath the umbrella for a while as I kicked off my flip flops, allowing the hot sand to sink beneath my toes, but Justin took my hand and dragged me out to sea.

"The water's a little cold," he warned, already walking in the wet sand. I stepped in it after him, chilled instantly, "It'll feel good though. Just run right into it. Let the waves get you." He said it like I had a choice. He was holding me captive, taking a moment to stand behind me and guide me in the water. The waves jumped halfway up my legs and I yelped at the cold waters. Justin laughed and gasped beside me, but still moved us along. Trace was waist high out with the girl he was with. Randall, John, and Joy were swimming further out. He taught me to jump waves as we came towards Trace and his companion. He caught me when I almost fell completely into the sea, laughing as I struggled to hold my giggle. The water hit my face a little and it was salty as hell in my mouth.

"Trace, man," Justin greeted as Trace held the blonde and turned to face us.

"Hey!" he smiled brightly, "Y'all made it out."

"We did," Justin smirked, "Hey, Elisha, this is Sash." Elisha, all wrapped up in Trace's arms, happily extended her hand towards me.

"So you're the infamous Sash, huh?" she smiled brightly as we shook, "Justin doesn't shut up about you."

"Hey!" Justin whined, holding my waist as a smaller wave hit us. I giggled a little.

"Well, all good things, I hope," I said, "It's nice to meet you Elisha."

"She's Trace's fiancee," Justin said, answering my unspoken question, "She's too pretty for him, right? That's what I said." I gasped and slapped Justin's arm as Trace placed Elisha down. I sensed something was not going to be good, so I smoothly detatched myself from Justin right as Trace tackled him into the water. Elisha and I laughed as she shook her head.

"All the time, I swear," she sighed. A bigger wave came and I instinctly clunge to her as we both jumped. She laughed as I apologized.

"Sorry," I said sheepishly, "I'm not that big of a wimp, but I can't really swim."

"It's okay," she assured me, "It's better to jump waves together." She took hold of my arms and jumped with me as another wave came. "See!" I was happy not to be an oddball as Justin, soaking wet as Trace, finally re-emerged laughing with his friend.

"Damn, I leave y'all alone for two seconds and you guys are best friends," Justin smiled.

"I'm terrified of drowning and Elisha was kind enough to help me jump waves," I explained, "If my lovely boyfriend had been around to hold me as he promised..." We all chuckled and Justin rolled his eyes, wrapping his arms around my waist to pull me against him.

"Thank you, Elisha, but I've got this," he said to her and she was already back on Trace in two seconds, "As for you..." Justin whispered in my ear, "... I won't leave your side again, I promise." He kissed my lobe as I turned to face him. Smaller waves made my steps unsteady, but he held me tightly as I draped my arms over his shoulders and around my neck, standing on the tips of my toes to kiss his mouth.

"I was only joking," I told him, "But if you want to hold me all day, I won't object to it." Justin smiled and then a huge wave crashed into us, knocking us both down. I held my breath as I fell completely into the water. Justin had a grip on my hand, but a pull back of the wave caused us to detach. I panicked for a moment as another wave hit me as I tried to left my face from the water. I tried to stand, but I was too short to feel the sand. I realized, as I finally got my head up, that I had somehow drifted much further out to sea than I had been. The shore was a ways away. I was out where Randall, Joy, and John had been swimming and when I realized this, it took every in me not to scream for help. My instinct kicked in and I flapped around, trying to keep my head up. Another wave hit me and I got salt in my eyes before I sunk down into the water.

Now I was freaking out. My eyes were burning and I didn't see anybody that I knew around me. I was under the water trying to find a way up, but no matter how hard I flapped my arms like I've seen them do on Baywatch, I couldn't get up. Eyes closed, air running out, and nothing but water all around... I felt my eyes stinging and I didn't know if more ocean water sunk in or if I were crying, but I knew that I was praying so hard as my lungs tightened. I kicked and flipped my arms about, but I felt like I was sinking more than anything. That wasn't a good sign. I could feel myself giving up and as much as I didn't want to, I knew that I had no choice. I couldn't hear anything, nobody was looking for me, Justin was nowhere in sight when I had last been above the water. My lungs were in need of air and I had nothing but water to supply them.... I knew that it would burn when the ocean water flooded my lungs and nose and throat... Drowning was a horrible way to die, but I had spoken to Clare and seen my mother. Justin and I were holding each other moments ago. I saw love in his eyes and he saw love in mine... I had riden a motorcycle. I had a dream career and I loved again. My life wasn't complete, but it was okay. I guess it was better than dying before I experienced anything. At least I had lived a life...

My whole body relaxed and just as my lips parted and the salty waters touched my tongue, a force from nowhere gripped my entire body and shot me upward. I gasped and coughed as saltwater collided with my throat and the air I was breathing. My lungs were greedily still stealing air as I was trying to stop coughing. There was a hand running over my face and suddenly a voice, as panicked as I felt when I first fell beneath the waters.

"Sash, are you okay?" Justin asked, over and over, "Sash, I'm so sorry. The waves kept coming and you kept getting dragged out..." My hands rubbed my own eyes before I opened them. Justin looked so sad as the warm sun tanned his skin. We were floating in the middle of the water. The shoreline was behind him a ways away. I could see some swimmers around us and beach goers staring in our direction. I turned back to him; he looked like he'd burst into tears at any moment.

"I thought I was going to die," I said, oddly calm. Justin pulled me into a hug and wrapped my legs around his waist.

"I'm so sorry for letting you go," he whispered to me, "I was trying to hold onto you-"

"Shh..." I cooed, running my hands down his neck, "I'm fine." He pulled back to stare at me, confused.

"I should be the one comforting you, right?" he smiled, "Why are you so calm?" I shrugged.

"I didn't die," I said simply, "You saved my life, baby." We were somehow forehead to forehead now. He was brushing his nose against mine, arms strongly wrapped around my waist. I wondered how he was keeping us up.

"I love you very much," he said, "But I don't think I'm taking you to the beach for a very long time after this." We both laughed before he detached one arm from my waist and flapped it behind him. He leant back a little and was swimming backward to the shore with me. He was swimming fast too, like he couldn't wait to reach land. Once we reached the shore, I almost kissed the sand as he sat me down in it and knelt in front of me.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he checked my mouth and eyes and ears like a family physician.

"I'm just checking to make sure you're okay," he said, "No seaweed or baby crabs attached to you..."

"Baby crabs?" I asked and he shrugged.

"You never know," he told me simply before leaning down to kiss me again, "I really am sorry."

"It's not your fault," I said, "Besides, nothing happened."

"It could've," he argued, "That was a long time. You were this close to just breathing the water, weren't you?" I shrugged.

"I might've been getting tired, but there's always CPR, right?" He shook his head.

"I will never understand how you can be so nonchalant about this," he told me with a smirk, "I am still freaking out right now. I've never had to deal with that before."

"Probably because I'm the only twenty-something you know who can't swim."

"That could be it..." he joked as I playfully punched his arm.

"Stop worrying," I said after a moment of his pouting and inspection continued, "I'm fine."

"I know, I know," he told me quickly with a sigh, "The thought of losing you is hard to get over."

"But I'm right here," I told him, "And I'm ruining this beach thing."

"You're not ruining anything," he said, "I get my excessive amount of worrying from my mom, which is why this whole almost-drowning-thing is not going to be brought up." We both glanced back at Lynn who was a few feet away and waved when she smiled at us.

"Yeah, that's a good idea," I said, "But I think I'm going to stay on the sad a while."

"Me too," Justin said, sitting beside me.

"Go out and play with Steve and John," I said, "I don't want you sitting next to me the entire day."

"Sash, please," he pleaded, "I think I need to make sure nothing bad happens to you for at least an hour before I can even consider leaving your side." I laughed and shook my head.

"You're being a mom right now," I snickered and he shrugged.

"I'll just take that as a compliment," he told me, leaning back on his arms and closing his eyes as the sun warmed our skins. I leaned over and kissed his cheek and he opened his eyes as he faced me.

"I love you," I said, receiving a kiss in return.

"I love you too," he told me back, kissing my forehead this time. We sat side-by-side and watched the ocean of people surf, swim, and splash in the water. I could still taste the salt in my mouth and a quick flash to the underwater panic I had moments ago went through my mind. It scared me, but I cozied up to Justin more and felt safe again. He had honestly saved my life and I loved him more for it. I guess I could add this to my list of things that are against us. I almost died and surely death would keep us apart like his career, his fame, his racist family, my insecurities, and his stupid Jessica-loving cousin.... I shook my head. It didn't make sense to make two people fall in love if the universe was just going to do everything in its power to try and break them up.