"You're having..." Marissa trailed off as I stared at the screen. Justin had somehow taken my hand to squeeze and I was trying so hard to remember just how it felt since he wouldn't be around much longer.

"We're having what? We're having what?" Justin groaned in impatient distress. I glanced at Marissa and her face wasn't too please.

"Oh no..." she mumbled, moving the handle over my belly in all sorts of weird directions. Justin's grip on my hand tightened.

"What's 'oh no'?" he asked urgently, "Is the baby okay?" I felt myself panic from his tone.

"Yes, yes," Marissa assured, "The baby's fine, but this stupid machine just froze." She stood and slapped the side of the screen. She had clearly left my belly, but the little bean shaped head and tiny torso of my baby still stayed on the screen. Marissa groaned, mumbling something about cheap corporate something-something. I didn't understand her gibberish, but I was so disappointed in that moment.

"So... no more ultrasound thingy?" I whined when she hit a switch and the screen went black.

Marissa sighed deeply. "I'm sorry. I'll just go see if I can find another one. If not, we'll reschedule you for tomorrow, I promise."

"But I work tomorrow," I complained.

"Work can wait," Justin stepped in, "It'll take two seconds to do this, right? You can just be a little late." He looked Marissa for agreement. She nodded enthusiastically.

"Right," she said, "But let me go see if we can do this now. Give me a minute." She dashed from the room, leaving Justin and I with pouty faces. I looked up and watched as he reached under the bed and yanked out an unused stood. He adjusted the height so he could sit comfortably. He did this all with one hand because his fingers were still linked in mine. I was wondering if he had noticed, but when he finally sat down, he looked directly at our entwined hands.

"I'm surprised you haven't punched me yet," he joked, smiling softly. I shrugged as best I could in my lying position.

"We were having a moment," I said, "The excitement and the bonding over seeing our baby together."

"Are we still having our moment?" he asked softly, giving my hand a squeeze.

"I suppose we are until we know the baby's sex," I sighed, feeling a little blue because of that stupid frozen screen.

"Well, that might not be until tomorrow morning," he reminded, glancing up at me to catch my eyes briefly, "Does that mean we can hold hands 'til then?"

"Well, that might be a problem since I use my right hand for everything," I joked, "Writing, eating, washing my face, unlocking doors..."

"I can do all that for you," he said, lifting his free right hand, "I'm right handed myself."

We laughed at his ridiculous statement. "Then I guess I have no choice in the manner... "

"None whatsoever," he agreed, lifting our entwined hands to his lips, kissing my knuckles gently. My skin tingled where his lips laid and ignited my entire body.

"Hey now," I playfully scolded, "Don't start getting frisky."

"Sorry," he apologized, but he ran my knuckles against his cheek. I playfully jerked to punch him lightly against his flesh and he exaggerated my blow by pretending to get knocked out before laughing with me.

"Why are you going to LA?" I asked suddenly, realizing he never brought it up until today.

"I did a lot of shopping two weeks ago... I got a lot of stuff for my mom, so I was just going to drop it off for her. But when I was talking to her the other night, she was so excited about everything that was going on and she wanted to come visit. Watch you grow, give advice, make a scrapbook... You know, the usual."

"Wow, that's deep," I said uneasily, "Even I'm not scrapbooking...Then again, I don't exactly know how to do that."

"Well, it's her first grandbaby. She's freaking out over how well you're feeling and what the kid will need and if you're getting all the books you need...Plus she just adores you anyhow..." I warmed up at that thought. "Besides, I thought I'd give you a break. I feel like I'm smothering you or something."

"You're not," I assured, "It's nice to have somebody around to help me out with everything. Even the littlest things freak me out. I'm really scared when it comes to this baby. I afraid I'll give it peas instead of carrots and something horrible will happen." Justin laughed and I smiled because I knew it sounded crazy, but that's how I felt.

"I don't know why you worry so much," he said, "Sash, I'm not just trying to get back into your good graces when I tell you you're amazing. You have the best instincts in the world. You're naturally nurturing and I know that first hand because you took care of me. You're a nurse, for Christ sake! The kid has the best personal medical attention in the world, not to mention an excellent cook and a low tolerance for bullshit role model. You are all set to be a mother. I worry that you don't even need me." I rolled my eyes as my stomach welled up with butterflies.

"Shut up," I childishly mumbled.

Justin laughed. "You know that's why I want a girl, right? I'm kinda hoping she'll end up like you. Minus the defensiveness and anger." He was joking on the last part, but I still pouted and shot him a menacing look.

"I have my reasons," I grumbled and Justin's face softened as his smile flattered.

"I suppose you do," he said softly, looking down at our hands before slipping his from my grasp. He laid my empty hand gently on the mattress and folded his hands in his lap. I tried to hide my disappointment, but it was hard to do. He caught my face before I could compose myself and sadly shook his head. "See, that's why I can't be around you. I always hurt you in some way."

"That's not hurt, it's confusion," I semi-lied. I was confused.

"Whenever we do little stuff like that and we're having a good conversation and we feel good around each other...Sash... I-I'm beyond happy. I get my hopes all up like 'Yeah, she's definitely taking me back. We're gonna work this out' and blah, blah, blah. It's pathetic, really, because I know in the back of my mind... It's not happening. Not now and probably not ever." My chest jerked at the not ever part and I could tell you that hearing him end any hope for us was shocking. I don't know why. I had told myself multiple times it wasn't happening, but then I felt like he'd always be there trying... Maybe I didn't want him to just give up?

"I'm sorry," I apologized for whatever reason, "I guess... I can be hot and cold with you, but it's not on purpose. It's just hard to know what's okay to feel around you and what's not..." I tried to explain. "I don't think you're a horrible person, Justin. I think you made a mistake, but I can't..."

"I understand," he said softly, reaching up to give my hand a squeeze. I fought the urge to hold him when he went to pull away. "Sash, if I were you, I'd feel the same way... I'd be confused. I'd want you here, but far away. I'd want to hold you, but not want you touching me. I'd be constantly contradicting myself. Especially if you were around me as much as I'm around you. That's why I'm gonna distance myself. I want you to have a clear head and make the right decision for yourself. I don't want to influence you. Don't get me wrong; I want you to pick me. I want you to choose us, but I don't want you unhappy."

"If I'm not with you, I'm unhappy. If I'm with you, I'm happy, but then there are moments when I'm not because I can't get what you did out of my head," I agonized, "It's a lose, lose situation either way. I don't trust you fully and that's not good for me."

"And you shouldn't have to settle for what's not good for you," Justin agreed, "So I'm going to stop following you around like a lost puppy and begging for your mercy because you know how I feel and you know where I want to be. The rest is up to you. Hopefully, by the time this baby comes, we'll know where we stand. I don't want our complicated relationship to screw up our kid. We're role models. We're the biggest influence on our child."

"Molders of clay," I said and he agreed.

"Or PlayDough," he joked, "Whatever our kid is into." We laughed a little before calming down.

"I really hope we have a boy though," I thought out randomly, "They're so much easier...No periods, make up, boobs, pregnancy..."

"I beg to differ on that last part," Justin smiled, "But boys have to be molded into men and that's hard to do."

"Girls have to learn to be women. That's ten times harder in a man's world." Justin nodded in agreement before sighing.

"Sash, whether it's a girl or boy, it doesn't make a difference to me. I'm just happy to be here." I stared at him blankly, catching that glimmer of amusement in his eyes.

"Oh, save the mature crap for someone who cares," I joked, "I'm putting fifty bucks on a boy."

"No, I don't want fifty bucks when she tells us it's a girl," Justin said smugly, "I have to think of a better trade."

"It doesn't matter 'cause I'm not giving you anything, sir," I said confidently, "That size head requires a man's body for lifting, thanks to you. Our little melon top is a boy."

"Fifty bucks?" Justin raised a challenging brow, "But I want something a little more intimate..." I snorted.

"Dream on, pervert," I joked.

"You too chicken to trust your own gut?" Justin asked, "I thought we were definitely having a boy." His mockery flared my ego, which made me grunt in arrogantly.

"Fine then, you're on," I said, "But we aren't having sex."

"Fine," Justin agreed easily. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Any kind of sex," I emphasized. He rolled his eyes playfully.

"Why is your mind in the gutter?" he asked, "Intimate doesn't equal sexual."

"You never know with your mind," I criticized. He laughed aloud.

"I guess I can't argue with that too much," he smiled before the door swung open and the noisy clatter of equipment sounded.

"Found one!" Marissa announced, quickly switching out the broken ultrasound machine with the newly discovered one. An assisting nurse grabbed the broken one and headed out quickly. Justin took my hand again as she warmed up the machine, squirting a little more gel my belly. She grinned at us and sighed. "Sorry for that little interruption. Are you guys ready?"

"Born ready," Justin perked up, giving my hand a squeeze. And then the little handle was pressed against my belly, spreading out that cold ass gel again. I stared up at the screen and there was the image of my little bean headed baby.

"Alrighty, here we go," Marissa squealed, concentrating on the screen while making small, careful movements over my belly. I watched as the baby shifted a bit. Marissa was mumbling directions to herself like 'a little to the right' and I was watching the baby shift in that direction. I guess he was laying on his little pecker, so it was out of view, but then a triumphant squeal from Marissa sounded he was full frontal.

"I don't see anything," I said, confused. It looked the same to me on the ink-blotted image of my child. Marissa pointed with her index finger, circling the nether regions of my baby.

"You shouldn't," she said, beaming at us both, "You're having girl. No thing necessary." She was beaming and I heard Justin suck in a breath.

"We're having a girl?" he asked to make sure. I heard it loud and clear the first time.

"Yes, sir," Marissa confirmed, "Congratulations." We shook hands before she handed me a towel to clean off the gel. Justin let go of my hand and walked Marissa to the door, discussing copies of the sonogram. When I heard the door shut behind her, I didn't look up. I felt him staring at me. I cleaned my tummy off and sighed when I finished, tossing the towel beside me as I sat up.

"Oh Sash...." Justin's taunting tone sung, breaking the silence. I rolled my eyes, finally looking up at his smug little face.

"Shut up," I grumbled, but to be honest, I was still happy just know what we were having. I could focus more when I was shopping. No more 'safe' colors.

"I think you owe me an apology," Justin said mockingly, batting his eyelashes at me, "You really hurt my feelings with all that boy talk." If looks could kill, Justin would be a corpse, but he wasn't the least bit threatened by my glare. In fact, he was laughing out loud. Cackling more like it.

"Fine, but this counts as your 'intimate' prize," I said before he raised a hand to silence me.

"Hold on now, little lady," he playfully scolded, "I get to choose my intimate prize."

"Well, what is it so I can give it to you already," I fumed. He wiggled his bushy eyebrows at me.

"Oh, I like it when you talk dirrty," he growled before howling with laughter. I shook my head and fought the smile from forming on my face.

"You're an idiot," I chided and he nodded.

"Possibly," he agreed, "But I'm also the proud father of a baby girl. I think earns me two points."

"But you're an idiot, so that's negative two points," I corrected. Justin snorted and rolled his eyes, slowing gravitating towards his previous position by my bedside.

"You're a sore loser, Sash," he pointed out as he took a seat on his stool, "Hopefully my prize will help loosen you up."

"These sexual innuendos are gonna have to stop," I said lightly, "You're working yourself up for nothing."

"Actually, I think you'll give me what I want," he said, "I'm not asking for much."

"Well, what is it?" I asked, turning so my legs hung over the side of the bed. I was facing him now and he was staring up at me like he was a little worried. I guess he wasn't so sure about my reaction and it made me nervous to see him nervous.

"We never had a proper date," he voiced softly, "And I want to take you on one." My stomach knotted up.

"A date?" I asked and he nodded. "Seriously? You want to go out on a date with me?"

"Yes," he said shakily, glancing down at my lap before looking back at me, "I want to do it old school too. Dinner and a movie. I'll walk you to the door and everything. And I get to pay for everything with no crap from you."

"What happened to you distancing yourself from me?" I asked.

"I will," he promised, shrugging a little, "This can be...a going away gift too."

"This isn't a real date," I clarified, even though I was feeling like a sixteen-year-old girl again.

"Okay," he said simply, "But can I still bring you flowers?" I rolled my eyes.

"Geez, Justin," I complained with a giggle, "Should my mom be there to greet you at the door too?" He actually pretended to think it over, making us both laugh.

"No, I'm not going to require that much," he assured, "But Friday, me and you have a date."

"I guess we do," I said softly, "But I have one question..."

"What is it?" Justin asked, sincerely interested in what I had to say.

"Can you please call my mother and Clare and let them know we're having a girl? I don't think I can take the screaming and I know I could deal with all the stupid 'I told ya so's." Justin laughed heartily and nodded.

"Of course," he quickly obliged, "That can be really annoying."

"To say the least..." I agreed, shaking my head at the nonsense.

"But, Sash?" Justin called.

"Yes?" I responded as he leaned in and glanced about the room, as if we weren't alone.

"I didn't want to say this, but..." he sighed, "I told ya so." I smacked my lips and growled. Justin laughed after getting a firm slap on the arm for being an asshole. I fought off the urge to crack a smile.

"Very funny," I said dryly, rolling my eyes. Justin was still beaming as he patted my hand gently.

"It's okay, Sash. No need to be bitter," Justin cooed, "We can work on getting you a boy later." I gasped.

"Like hell we will," I impugned and he laughed out loud.

"I just wanted to see your reaction."