"I think I'm having an orgasm."

I almost choked on the piece of chocolate lava cake I forked into my mouth when Justin so eloquently made his announcement. I quickly swallowed down the moist, delicious, chocolatety goodness, chuckling and groaning in satisfaction simultaneously.

"Me too," I agreed, enthusiastically humming. "Food orgasms are the best orgasms."

"I wouldn't say all that, but they are pretty up there on the list," Justin said, giving me a wink and forking up another piece of our shared cake. I watched as melted milk chocolate flowed out of the molten center and onto the scoop of vanilla ice cream that accompanied our dessert. I found myself regretting sharing this. I wanted it all to myself.

"We should've gotten two," I said, voicing my thoughts before forking up another chunk of cake, making sure to get some ice cream with it. My mouth salivated even after it hit my tongue, the warm and cold temperature mixture only added to the gloriousness of the moment. I closed my eyes and hummed another happy tune.

"We can still get another," Justin offered, "They have it in white chocolate too." My eyes shot open in awe, but then I looked down at my full belly (both from food and the baby) and decided against my urges.

"I can't," I pouted, "I know I'm eating for two, but I'm not even halfway into my pregnancy and look at me!" My agony was meant by the unphased gaze of Justin, who shrugged from his spot across the table.

"You look fine," he assured, forking up another piece of cake, "Beautiful. Glowing -"

"Yeah, yeah," I interrupted, rolling my eyes, "You are such a little sap. Why can't you just say 'Yeah, Sash, you're as big as a house!'"

"One, you're not as big as a house," Justin argued, jabbing his fork in my direction as he spoke, flakes of chocolate cake tossing haphazardly along our table. "Two, even if I wanted to say all that shit, you'd kill me before I even thought about it. And three, I'm not a sap, damn it. We all can't be self-loathing, cynical, pessimists such as yourself."

"Geez, thanks," I mumbled sarcastically, getting a huge forkful of ice cream. I shoved it into my mouth and dropped my fork, letting it clank against the ceramic plate. "I'm done." Justin shook his head and fought the smirk on his face.

"You're a weakling," he teased, "You can't even handle one itsy winsy, teeny weeny molten cake that's being shared by two adults and a growing baby?" He clicked his tongue repeatedly, shaking his head. "I don't know you at all..." I rolled my eyes at his dramatics, swallowing down my ice cream. I knew he was just being an ass, but I wanted more cake anyway.

"Fine," I sighed, picking up my fork again, "But when I'm tippin' the whale scale at the end of this pregnancy, don't say I didn't try."

"Don't worry, Free Willy, I'll have your back," he chuckled and I kicked him under as I fought my smile.

"Free Willy? Honestly?" I nagged jokingly. Justin raised his hands in mock surrender.

"My bad," he said, but he was grinning, "You said whale, and Willy's the first thing that came to mind."

"I guess that's better than a blue whale," I thought aimlessly, "Those are some big motherfudgers."

"Motherfudgers?" Justin asked, raising a brow as he forked up some ice cream.

"It's my new thing," I told him proudly, poking at the cake's middle to get more chocolate lava to flow out and entertain me. "I'm learning to sensor myself. I read one of the baby books you got me the other day and they said the baby can hear. I don't want to curse as much anymore. I feel guilty or something. Besides, when the kid actually gets here, it'll be a sponge - absorbing everything around her. I don't want her to have my sailor mouth. It's not one of my better qualities."

Justin nodded thoughtfully. "I suppose I should work on that too."

"I think you curse a lot less than me," I pouted, jealous of his self-control and my lack thereof.

"It doesn't matter who cusses more or less. The cussing in general is the problem," Justin told me soothingly, "Besides, we're in this together when it comes to all things baby. If you won't cuss, I won't cuss. Very simple." I nodded, forking up another chunk of cake and ice cream. It was so sweet and warm. I felt comforted by it and I knew that was a problem. I was probably going to be coming to Chili's more often now.

That's where we were, at Chili's restaurant. I wanted to go to Friday's, but didn't feel like walking and I most certainly wasn't going to make Justin pay a cab to get us through the city. He argued me down, saying we could definitely afford the taxi since we were eating at such a 'cheap' restaurant. Mr. Hollywood wanted to go to Maggiono's Italian something or other. If Justin wanted to go, it was insanely overpriced with tasty wine I couldn't have, so why torture myself by eating the free bread and salad so he wouldn't have to pay for my meal? I could handle a two for twenty dollars deal at Chili's, but God knows how much our meal would've cost at Justin's first choice.

So, after a lot of public arguing and scowling, we settled for Chili's on Filbert street. So far, so good. We only got stopped a bit in the beginning when a waitress asked Justin if he was who she thought he was. Justin took pictures with employees and signed the napkins and t-shirts of bystanders before lowering his Phillies cap and settling at the back table with me.

The rest of the dinner was uninterrupted. We shared our separate dinner plates - Justin's classic baby back ribs choice and my chicken fajitas. Dessert was currently being eaten together as well. It was nice and simple, this so called 'date'. Justin and I skipped out on our movie, not being able to find something that peeked our interest at the theatre. After grabbing an oh-so-healthy snack of Amish apple dumplings at the Reading Terminal market, we took a tour of downtown Philadelphia. Justin had the nerves to make me pose at random, holding my belly and pointing at buildings like the baby and I were on tour. It was sort of cute, I guess, but the moment was almost too sweet. Especially when a stranger offered to take our picture by City Hall and Justin stood behind me, placed his arms around me, and rested his hands on my small baby belly.

It was like formal prom shot, but he was so warm around me. I felt so safe and the baby felt safe too. I almost cried standing there, looking like a happy couple, when half of me wanted to tell him I knew where his hands had been and I wanted them off me, while the other half wanted to turn around and kiss him like nothing else in the world mattered. Thinking about it now still depressed me. At the time, I just sucked it up and continued on, nonchalantly brushing off any concerns of Justin by suggesting a trip to the Pennslanding Waterfront. The weather was comfortable, the seasons shifting accordingly, so we sat down along the stone benches placed out along the water and watched the Delaware river move along in soft currents. We talked a bit about Justin's music and his future plans for heading back to LA. He expressed his need to get work done and it alarmed me momentarily when he informed me of his decision to push his album back further.

"Sash, if you don't respond, I'm gonna assume you're in a coma," Justin's voice said, breaking into my thoughts. I shook my head a bit to clear it, glancing up at him from across the table. He tilted his head to the side. "Are you okay?"

"You look like Bob when you do that," I said, taking in the resemblance of their confused expressions. Justin raised a rectangular brow and looked at me warily.

"I'm gonna get the check now," Justin said, ignoring my statement. I pouted when he waved a waitress over.

"I'm not crazy," I grumbled, "Bob gives me that same look all the time."

"Probably because you are crazy," Justin teased just as our waitress appeared.

"Was everything good?" she asked for what felt like the millionth time of the night. She was staring at Justin, ignoring my existence.

"Yes, it was," Justin smiled, "I just needed two more of these cakes to go, but make one the white chocolate." I rolled my eyes, but didn't argue.

"Okay, I'll be right back," Tracey (at least I think that's what she called herself) said as she darted off towards the kitchen. Justin sat back in his seat and rubbed his stomach.

"I'm full," he sighed and I watched as he smacked his lips lazily, smirking at me when he caught my gaze. "What?" he asked, looking adorable as crap with his smile, his stubble, and his green 'Get Lucky' t-shirt.

"Nothing," I sighed, looking away as I sat up straight and stretched my arms above my head. I yawned and cracked my back. "I'm ready for bed."

"It's not even 8:30," Justin complained, checking his watch. "We still have to see a movie."

"There was nothing to see," I reminded him.

"I have some movies back at my place," he offered, looking away from my face as he did so. I rolled my eyes.

"Nobody's interested in watching your porno collection," I joked, making Justin chuckle lazily.

"I swear, your mind and the gutter are the best of friends," he smiled, "I was actually going to show you my collection of Sanaa Lathan movies and I have that movie 'Taken', which was bangin', by the way. I also have some romantic comedies and thrillers... I have some Shia LaBeouf crap too..." He mumbled off the last part, but I still heard it loud and clear. I burst out laughing when he pouted at me.

"You are so funny," I gushed out and he was fighting not to smile, "Now that you mention Shia, I guess I have to consider this movie thing..." He rolled his eyes.

"What do you see in that kid?" he groaned.

"I don't know..." I sighed dreamily, "He's so cute."

"Kittens are cute," Justin scoffed, "Shia LaBeouf is no kitten."

"You're right," I said, "He's sexy as hell, so I guess that'll make him a what? An Usher? A Channing Tatum, perhaps?"

"I'm going to ignore you," Justin frowned as the check came and our cakes were placed on the table, boxed and bagged up nicely. Our waitress was beaming at Justin as she cleared her throat.

"I'm really sorry 'cause I know you're out and you don't want to be bothered, but can I please get one picture with you?" Justin looked at me and smirked. I saw some amusement on his face as I just nonchalantly sat back in my seat.

"You have to ask my girlfriend first," Justin said, and I held my breath for a moment when he smiled widely as me and back at the girl who looked as confused as I felt.

"Justin -"

"She gets a little irritated when girls ask, so if it's fine with her..." Justin interrupted as I silently fumed. The girl warily turned to me, pulling a slim camera from her apron pocket.

"Can I get a picture with him, please?" she asked, looking annoyed by having to ask permission. I didn't like her tone and Justin was all too pleased with himself, looking for my response. I rolled my eyes at him.

"He was just being an ass," I told her, "I'll take the picture." She handed me the camera and comfortably draped her arm over Justin's shoulder as she bent down to his seated level. Justin hugged her waist and winked at me. I rolled my eyes again, angling up the camera. I counted to three and took the shot before she squealed and hugged Justin, thanking him again and again.

Justin grabbed the food and paid the bill, leaving behind a hefty tip. I didn't respond to any of it as I stood and wrapped my jacket around me. The exit was at the front and I moved swiftly towards it. Justin was chuckling ever so often as he trailed behind me. I rolled my eyes as I finally pulled open the door and felt the night air against my face. It wasn't cold, it was slightly chilly. I hugged myself and started towards Market street to catch a cab for us.

"Wait, Sash," Justin called out from behind me. I stopped at the corner and faced him. "Are you going home or my place?" My heart jolted a little, which was odd, but I ignored it.

"I have movies at my place," I said, "We can go there."

"Sash..." Justin whined, pouting like a six year old.

"What?" I asked, annoyed and confused.

"I wanted to show you my place," he stated shyly, having the nerves to look up and scrunch up his nose. He shifted his weight from foot to foot as he did so. "I wanted to... I dunno... I cleaned it up real nice and all..." I could've sworn his eyes grew two sizes larger as they twinkled in the city lights...Well, fuck me if he wasn't adorable, Chilli's bag of lava cakes hanging from his side. Cakes he had ordered for my sake because he knew I was now addicted to them. I wanted to just smack him for looking all cute and cleaning up his place for me too. However, I was still hesitant. I don't know why. Justin was Justin, regardless of the space, but something felt uncomfortably intimate about seeing his place. I didn't want to see his place for the first time like a new girlfriend all over again...But part of me was naturally curious to see how he lived apart from LA. I glanced back at Market street and then back at him.

"I'm not staying the night," I stated firmly. Justin smiled that crooked smile that made my belly tighten.

"Of course not," he said nonchalantly, "But you're more than welcome to. I don't know how many movies we're watching or if you get tired..."

"I'll watch the time," I promised. Justin just shrugged and nodded his head behind him.

"This way," he told me, "It's cheaper if we walk a little and catch a cab on Sansom street."

I laughed and headed towards his direction, "You're being cheaper?" I snorted at the notion and he nudged me once we were walking side by side.

"Not really," Justin admitted with a sheepish grin, "It's nice out and I don't mind the walking. It gives us a little private time."

"I guess..." I mumbled off into silence. We just walked together, looking about the city buildings against the night sky. Private time... I wanted to scoff again at the idea. We were walking in public, for one thing, and for another, Justin and I weren't good with private times. We always ended up fighting or kissing; neither one resulting in anything good. I tried not to think about it all though.

The streets were more crowded than normal, which offered the convenient distraction of people watching. It was early and it was warmer than expected. I felt at ease walking along the familiar streets of downtown. All the cute little cafes and resturants. Jewelry shop windows illuminated by spot lights and headlights of cars zooming by. With Justin there, I felt safer. I wasn't much for night time walking, but this felt good. It felt comfortable to walk together until I spotted a couple walking towards us, holding hands.

Justin cleared his throat and I knew he saw them too. We both were uncomfortable when they excused themselves and walked between us, disrupting our side-by-side walking temporarily. By the time they had gone their way, we were too uncomfortable to return to our previous side-by-side position. We stood a good foot or so apart now. We could pass as strangers instead of friends. It was Justin who slowly came back to my side, nudging me arm with his elbow.

"I've been meaning to ask you about that jeans ad thing," he randomly brought up. I snorted a laugh that wasn't the least bit amused.

"As much as I would've loved to have gallivated along a studio and have my picture taken, those jeans are no longer my size. I'm ten sizes too big for them now." My sarcasm and cynical take on the jeans made Justin nudge me again.

"You're having a baby, Sash," he cooed gently, "Stop being so hard on yourself."

"If anything, I'm being too easy on myself," I sighed, "Seriously, I was doing fine - working out and eating a bit better - then BAM! Justin Junior soils my ovaries and I'm three hundred pounds again."

"...soils my ovaries..." Justin laughed to himself, making me nudge him away from me.

"I'm glad that's funny," I stated drily and he just chuckled again before composing himself.

"I'm sorry," he said, smiling, "You're funny, but your self-esteem, rather a lack-there-of, is heartbreaking. And just for the record, Justin Junior would insinuate our baby is a male when she is in fact a female. So I think our lil' bean is more of a... Sash Junior." I wrinkled my nose.

"I don't want to have a junior of me," I pouted, "It's your fault I'm pregnant anyway. Giving her my name makes me out to be the culprit."

"How is it my fault?" he laughed, "A seed can't grow without good soil, so that's on you. I didn't ask your ovaries to be so responsive."

I rolled my eyes. "Maybe if you weren't so damn fertile in the first place -"

"Are you saying you regret our little bean before she's even out the oven?" Justin scoffed, jokingly, "Sasheirah Mallory Hanes, I'm offended!"

"You are too middle name happy right now," I grumbled, "Why did my mother have to put my entire government out there?"

"Hey, you can google anything about me if it'll make you feel better," he retorted, "But there's no sense in crying over spilled milk, Sashy. You're pregnant; I know your middle name... Things happen, ya know?"

"Trust me, I know," I sighed, checking the street sign. We were finally at Sansom and I hailed a taxi coming down the street just in time for us. It skid to a stop and Justin cocked his brow. "What?" I asked, reaching for the door handle. He shrugged without a word and bumped me from the door to open it for me.

"Ladies first," he said, making me roll my eyes as I slid into the taxi. The leather seat squeaked as I moved about to the other side to make room for Justin. Once he slid in, we were off. Justin didn't live too far at all, over on 21st and Arch Street. He paid the cabby once we were double parked in front of his apartment complex. The outside was gray with gold and maroon curtains and tassles, brass letters spelled out the address. There was a greeter at the door and I felt like I was entering a five star hotel.

The doors were automatic and opened with a swoosh when we walked up. There was a lot of people in the lobby, hustling and bustling about. Tall ceilings and marble walls. The floor was a spotless cream with large maroon rugs. There was a desk in the center of it all, with three workers dressed in maroon uniforms with gold stripes on their sleeves. Brown leather sofas and chairs were at every corner and there was a lounge area not too far from a grand looking staircase made of marble too. Expensive chandeliers hung from the ceilings like icicles, all different levels and all gold with beautiful crystals dangling above me.

"Sash, this way," Justin voice directed and I realized I was staring up and not moving. He smiled when I finally looked at him. He was walking towards the elevators, all gold too. I looked away and walked up to his side. "Nice, huh?" he asked and I shrugged as we continued on.

"It's all right." Justin chuckled and pushed the up button once we reached the elevators doors. There were five, wide double-doored elevators. He glanced about, watching the lit numbers rise and fall as the elevators moved. A couple of people stood beside us and waited until the first elevator to our right dinged and emptied. Justin and I were the first to get on. About ten people got on and pushed their buttons. Justin didn't press a thing. I looked up at him as we settled in the corner of the gold box, maroon carpet lining the floor. He just gave me a little nod of acknowledgment, so I shrugged and watched the other passangers pushed their buttons. A six, an eight, a twelve, and eighteenth. There was a PH symbol at the very top, but there was no button, only a key slot. My eyebrow raised up and I looked back up at Justin who was too busy looking forward and fighting off a smile.

I rolled my eyes. Of course Mr. Fancy Pants got a penthouse suite. Should I have expected anything less?

We waited patiently as everybody got off, one by one, until there was only an asian woman in a three piece business suit in front of us, yapping away on her cell about some hairstylist named Cynthia. I will never understand elevator conversations. Justin politely excused himself once the doors closed on the twelth floor and pulled out a set of keys. The woman's conversation came to an end as she stammered out something intelligable as she moved out of Justin's way and watched him put in a key beside the PH. The letters lit and he yanked out the key. She fixed her gaze on him as he walked back to stand beside me. She glanced at me and then back at him just as her floor dinged.

"Uhh... Yeah, this guy just used a penthouse key..." was the last thing I heard before the elevator doors shut behind her. I laughed and so did Justin once we were alone.

"You would get a penthouse," I teased and he shrugged. I watched his blurred reflection in the elevator doors ahead of us.

"If you're gonna do it, you have to do it right," he said smugly, popping the collar of his jacket. I rolled my eyes.

"What's real funny is that she said 'this guy'," I pointed out, "She didn't even recognize you."

"She was like forty..." he pouted, "I still have my groove, woman. Don't act like people don't respect JT."

"Justin, you just said groove," I laughed, "Am I entitled to call you a jive turkey, or is that taking it too far?" Justin laughed just as the elevator slowed and shifted weirdly. I glanced at Justin to make sure it was fine and he seemed content. I had never been in a penthouse. I might've seen one briefly in a movie, but to actually be riding up to one was surreal. I was so caught up in who Justin was that I forgot who Justin was. The boy from all those Nsync posters didn't seem to fit the man I knew.

When the elevator finally stopped, a bell ding sounded and the doors slid open. I was expecting a hallway or something like the other floors, but instead there was just a living room in front of me. Literally a marble step to tiptoe down and then there was a beautiful living area with gray walls and gold and navy blue accents. The leather sofas and chairs were a mixture of browns and blacks. The hardwood coffee table lay in the center of them. The carpet was a biege color that was so light that I was put to shame when my Chucks landed against it. I peeled off my shoes with just my feet as Justin kicked off his Nikes in the opposite direction. He sighed deeply with content when he finished, placing the bag of cakes on the ground beside him. After stretching his arms above his head and removing his green windbreaker, he grabbed the Chilli's bag and walked through his living room, tossing the jacket onto the black sofa. He placed the cakes on the coffee table across from the large plasma television that I just noticed was perched on a glass base littered with DVDs.

"You want something to drink?" Justin asked over his shoulder, walking past the living room and into the small kitchen on the other end. Silver pots and pans hung over the island he rested against, smiling back at me when I didn't answer.

"What are you smiling at?" I asked before lifting my hand to silence him before he could speak, "Nevermind. I'll take a glass of water." I didn't like the glint in his blue eyes and by the pout that formed on his face, I knew I shut him up with good reason. If he was staring at me and smiling, he was likely doing it for the very cliche reasoning that I was so beautiful that he couldn't help it. He was so corny that it drove me up the wall, but it drove me even more crazy that I liked his corny lines. That's why I shut him up because it was dangerous enough to come to his apartment and be alone with him, watching movies until God knows when, especially when I didn't have work tomorrow to motivate me to run home and get to bed early.

I pushed the thoughts back, looking around the room. There were thick brownish-gray curtains lining both sides of the walls to my left and right. I walked over to my right, stopping at a black leather love seat to drop my purse and peel off my black wrap around coat. Once I shrugged it off my shoulders, I tossed it aside and made my way to the curtain. I stopped in front of it, trying to find a break in it to peek through. My hands ran along the knitted fabric for just a second before they were suddenly drawn back, ticking off every inch that the curtains shifted.

I drew in a sharp breath when crystal clear bay windows gazed at the city. I was mesmerized. Skyscrapers and other buildings were black against the navy blue sky, but lit windows danced across them. The orange tint of city lights and the beams of white and red from traffic over a dozen floors below us shined bright. I could see the Ben Franklin bridge and the Delaware river a ways away, also twinkling with car lights. The moon was a illuminating the entire scene, so full and close that I could count the craters it possessed. This was perfect. I leaned forward and touched my fingers to the glass as I looked down. My stomach lurched like I would fall, but I didn't jump back, I just took in the scene of traffic and people below and smiled.

"Nice, right?" Justin asked, coming up beside me. I slowly backed up, needing a moment to regain a sense of reality.

"Yes, it's beautiful," I admitted, turning to face him. He handed me a glass of ice water. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said softly, smiling at me gently. I looked away, back at the city. It was easier to deal with Justin when I had such a distraction.

"I think I'm actually jealous," I joked, laughing at myself.

"You don't have to be," Justin assured, "You're welcomed at any time." I rolled my eyes, trying to stay focused on the Franklin bridge, but Justin was standing so close and his cologne was starting to soothe me. I tried not to take it in, but it was so distinctly Justin with a hint of pine, lavander, and baby powder. An odd combination that used to bother me since Matthew had smelled so much simpler, but good. My stomach tightened with a nostalgic yearning for that smell.

I sipped my water, reveling in its coolness. "Philly doesn't seem so bad from up here," I said, making mindless conversation, "It's like one of those touristy brochure photos."

Justin chuckled. "I thought the same thing," he said, "I have a nice view from my bedroom too though. You can see all of City Hall from there. It would've been beautiful to see during Christmas, ya know? They always light a tree there." I nodded in agreement, letting silence fall over us. I heard Justin sipping beside me and I glanced at him, watching him hold a large blue mug to his lips. It seemed to be something hot, the way he paused with every sip.

"What are you drinking?" I asked because I was curious and Justin tore his eyes from the city scene.

"Hot chocolate," he informed me and I frowned in an instant.

"You didn't say you had hot chocolate," I semi-whined and Justin smirked.

"I asked what you wanted to drink," he argued lightly, "You had options."

"When somebody asks what would you like to drink, it's either alcohol, soda, or water. Even juice is a rare. Nobody busts out the hot cocoa out like it's normal. Cocoa is a family affair or a snowy winter's night ritual." Justin stared at me, his gaze unwavering and amused.

"All right, Sash, I'm just going to sum all that whining up into one thing: you want some hot chocolate and I'm going to make it for you." He handed me his mug, hot as it was. It clanked against my glass of water before Justin took that from my hands. "Have as many sips as you'd like while I make you a pack." He walked away before I could argue and I glanced down at the mug warming my fingertips and at his back as he moved about the kitchen, preparing my cocoa.

The chocolate was so warm and inviting and I gave in, placing my lips on the rim opposite where his lips had been. The heat of the sweet brew was creamy against my throat. I was in heaven and a small part of me smiled at the thought that the cocoa tasted better because it was his. I could tell he put more sugar in it. Justin had the tendacy to put extra sugar on everything, as if he needed any more energy. The boy once put chocolate powder and sugar on his Frosted Flakes. I was so disturbed that he promised to never do it again.

But those were Matthew days and I couldn't help but feel happy that he kept some of his Matthew traits. I love Justin. I know he's Matthew underneath the Armani jeans and the William Rast windbreaker. His Rolex watches and custom made Nikes were all just for show. Justin may like them, but they didn't make the man. Matthew was the man; the essence of Justin. I felt a deep pull in my stomach for that simplicity. There were no ex-girlfriends or miscarriages in Matthew's life. I, for once, was the center of somebody's world. Of course the universe had to make it all a dream and snatch him right from under me. There must be some unwritten rule among the celestrial beings that Sashierah Hanes must never be completely happy.

I felt nauseaous and I glanced down at the cocoa steaming beneath my nose. It didn't feel like I was going to puke. In fact, my sicknesses have almost come to a stop, thank goodness, but my stomach still wiggled in a weird way and I placed my hand on my belly to steady it.

"Are you okay?" I heard and I glanced in the direction of Justin's voice. He was bent down slightly to keep the hanging pans from obscuring his view of me. He was gripping the bottom edge of the black microwave mounted on the wall, his face looking slightly flushed. His bright blue eyes were widened a little. His panicked appearance made me heart lurch forward for just a second.

"I'm fine," I assured, "I feel a little nauseaous, no biggie."

"Why don't you sit down?," Justin more so ordered than suggested. I glanced back down at the city streets, hesitant to leave my view. I closed my eyes for a moment and rubbed along the curve of my belly slowly.

"I'm fine," I assured, "Must be all that chocolate cake." He playfully wrinkled his nose, smiling as he relaxed his rigid form and stood up straight.

"Well, I've got some Pepto in the medicine cabinet if you need it," he chuckled, turning his back to me to tend to the cocoa in the microwave. I rolled my eyes and sipped his cocoa again, letting out a warm breath against the glass. I was blinded by the smokey condensation that formed before I wiped it off and put my forehead against the cool glass.

I could wake up to this every morning, I thought over and over again. I was seeing my hometown with new eyes from here. I was getting tired of Philly. I was bored with knowing almost everything about it. It barely held my interest. I just lived there without really living it - Philly and it's sights and sounds, but now... Now I felt like a tourist. I wanted to know the names of buildings I passed by a million times before. I wanted to know who built that Ben Franklin bridge and I wanted to know why there was so much traffic on a Sunday night.

The padding of Justin's footsteps entered my conscious as I waited for him to draw closer, but they took an unexpected turn and I faced the direction of the noise. Justin was placing a coaster on his coffee table and placing my mug on top of it before he smiled up at me and gestured toward an empty spot on the sofa in front of it. I slowly away from the city view and walked carefully to where he stood. Justin took his mug from my hand slowly, his fingers seeming to purposely graze mine for an unnecessary amount of time.

I glanced up at him and he quickly diverted his eyes from mine, confirming my suspicions. I cleared my throat and plopped down on the leather sofa, adjusting the square pillows behind my back.

"What are we watching?" I asked trying to ease the knot forming in my stomach. Justin shrugged, walking around the coffee table with his mug in hand. He grunted when he finally took a seat beside me, keeping a reasonable distance between us.

"Want to see what's on t.v. first? We can order a movie if you want." He grabbed one of the four remotes lined up on his coffee table. He sipped from his mug as he pushed a button, focusing on the plasma that came to life, blaring out CNN. Justin took a moment to shake his head at some drug bust in Korea before I finally looked away from his scuffy face and watched the television. He was using the guide to find a movie and he suck in a breath when he highlighted his selection.

"Where the Wild Things Are?" I smiled, remembering that book clearly from my childhood. I turned to face Justin who was beaming.

"Hell yes!" he chuckled, "I wanted to see this when it came out, but I was too ashamed to go to see it alone." He laughed at himself and I rolled my eyes, holding back to urge to ask why he didn't invite me.

"I want to see too," I said nonchalantly, "Buy it." He was already halfway through the purchasing process before I could finish my sentence and I couldn't help but giggle when he sat up straight and and grinned at the screen like a five year old.

"I cannot wait to buy this DVD," he said, "I'm talkin' blue ray three disc special!" I rolled my eyes as placed my mug on the coaster. The music started playing and Justin turned up the volume, his eyes widening out to saucers as he leaned forward a bit. He was absolutely adorable. I sighed and turned back to the movie. Tonight would be a long night.

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'Eagle Eye' was just coming to an end. Shia was stepping into the boy's birthday party, looking like a five year old himself. I rolled my eyes. What the hell did Sash see in that kid? I met him once and he seemed like a douchebag. A total tool, actually. Well... he was kind of funny, I guess, but whatever. He smoked. Sash would hate that. She hated cigarettes. Sash was a walking, talking anti-drug ad. She'd kill me if she knew I used to smoke a little green. It was just a phase though, nothing deep. I wonder if I should mention it...

Hell no. I was in enough trouble as it is.

I turned to glance at Sash since she was so quiet. I found her leaning against the arm of the sofa, held tilted and eyes closed. She had curled up into that corner of the couch, her hands resting on her tiny baby bump. My eyes traveled back to her face and I relished in her simple beauty. A bit of mascara darkened her lashes and the shimmer of eyeshadowed glowed in the television light. She didn't need even that little bit, but a part of me was harping on the fact that she put in the effort. I was pretending she glamoured up for just me. It was pathetic thought, but little things like that kept hope alive for me and my future with Sash - if there was a future.

I sighed, stretching as I slowly stood, careful not to make any noise as I crept around the coffee table. I quickly moved toward my bedroom down the narrow hall past the kitchen, flipping on the dim lamp by my king sized bed once I reached my destination. The navy sheets were a wrinkled mess with my PDA and Ipod Touch tossed haphazardly in the center of it all. My mother would be proud of how quickly I grabbed my electronics and placed them on my night stand to adjust my sheets. I shook everything out and made it smooth and crisp, fluffing up the pillows as well.

I glanced at my alarm clock. It was almost one in the morning and I wouldn't let Sash go home even if she was awake. Her falling asleep was the extra boost I needed to make her stay. She could be so stubborn at times, I thought as I made my way back down the hall to the living area. As I finally approached Sash's sleeping form, I knelt down beside her, stroking the fallen strands of hair from her forehead. She sighed and her sleep, moving her head against my touch. My heart swelled up in my chest. She wanted me closer, at least in her sleep. I wish she'd say it out loud though. I wish she'd admit it.

"Sash?" I called softly. She didn't budge, "Sash, baby, you gotta get up..." She whimpered in protest when I gave her a gentle shake.

"No..." she moaned, slapping my hand away. I chuckled.

"Come on, girl," I smiled, "Lets get you to bed. You can sleep there."

"No..." she sighed, "No..." I rolled my eyes. She was half asleep and still fully stubborn.

"Sasheirah Mallory Hanes..." I said in a sing-song voice, "Time to get up temporarily. You're gonna have a cramp the size of Texas in your neck if you sleep on this couch. Believe, I know about couch-caused neck cramps."

"You are so annoying," Sash groaned. I stood when she quickly sat up, looking around the room like she was lost before looking up at me with narrowed eyes. "What time is it?"

"Almost one," I said, "You're staying here." She rolled her eyes and stood, stretching and scratching her head. I smiled softly and she scoffed when she saw it.

"I'm too tired to argue with you, which is the only reason why I'm not in a cab." Sash pushed past me as she made her way toward my room. I followed suit before she turned suddenly, pushing her hand against my chest to distance our almost collided bodies.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Justin, do you honestly expect us to share a bed?" she asked, rubbing some sleep from her tired eyes.

I shrugged. "It's a king sized bed. I have extra pillows. We can build a boarder between us." She stared up at me, her brown eyes indecisively shifting. It took a second, but she finally looked away and continued onward.

"Whatever," she mumbled, "You better not touch me." I took a deep breath to keep from arguing that I wasn't a rapist. It was late and I was starting to feel the weight of the day on my shoulders.

"Okay, Sash," I said simply to appease her, "No touching." When we finally reached my bedroom, she haulted her movements by the door, glancing back at me as I brushed past her. There was a silence with awkward looming in the background when I turned to face her. Sash was leaning against the doorframe, staring at the floor.

"You can come in ya know," I joked, trying to make light of the tense air. She slowly stood and stepped forward, looking around at her surroundings. Her eyes landed on my keyboard and the song book resting on the chair of it. Her eyes seemed to darken with a sadness I didn't quite understand, but she diverted her attention too quickly for me to fully process it.

"Do you have something I can change into?" she asked, glancing down at her loose fitting sweater and jeans. I nodded, walking to my bureau. I dug through until I found some sweat pants shorts and an oversized white t-shirt. I walked to where she stood by the edge of the bed.

"It can get a little chilly, hence the shorts. Let me know when you're done changing." I made my way out in the hall, pulling the door behind me. I rolled my eyes once I was alone. I went out to the living area to turn off the television and to draw close the open blinds before coming back to my bedroom door, which was now open. Sash was under the sheets on the side farest from the door, building a pillow boarder behind her. She paused for a moment when she noticed me.

"I called you, but you weren't in the hall," Sash announced once she finished.

"I was just double checking stuff," I said, shutting the bedroom door behind me. The clicking noise that usually went unnoticed seemed to boom. I cleared my throat as I walked over to my bureau, unhooking my chain from my neck. It clanked when I laid it across the dresser top. I looked ahead at the mirror, catching a glimpse of Sash's reflection as she watched me. She quickly diverted her eyes, pulling the sheet up to her chin as she laid all the way down.

I didn't make mention of it as I pulled my shirt over my head, the air chilling my skin, but I was comfortable. I folded up the shirt before I undid my belt and laid it next to my folded shirt. I took my jeans off, keeping on my socks and boxers. I grabbed everything but my belt and made my way to the hamper in the corner by the window. I cracked my back and stretched from side to side before walking around to the empty part of my bed. The mattress creaked beneath my weight when I crawled on it. Sash had been facing toward my side, but as soon as I settled, she turned away to face the window.

"Goodnight, Sash," I said softly, waiting for a response.

"Night," she mumbled back. I frowned at the muffled noise and laid back a bit, switching off the lamp, before laying all the way down. I wrapped my sheet around me, stopping when I thought I was taking too much. The pillow boarder gently grazed my bare back as I turned onto my stomach and faced the door. My eyes slid shut, but my mind overflowed with images of Sasheirah. My stomach was tight from knowing she was laying beside me. If I sniffed hard enough, her perfume lingered in the air...

I reached over to my nightstand and blindly felt around for my Ipod. I sighed when I finally got it, wasting no time to turn it on. When the earbuds settled in my ears, I almost threw it across the room.

Well fuck you too, Alicia, I thought bitterly. I searched and skipped over every love song that came on, settling on some angry Eminem instead. It was loud, but distracting, to say the least.

I never slept so good in my life.