We were trapped in the police office for what felt like hours but now, finally, my people managed to work their magic and get us out for the court date in a couple days. The court date is a complete waste of time. They’re trying to get me to press charges against Star Girl for kidnapping me or whatever shit they’re saying she did to me. Oddly enough, my mother’s the only one that thinks she’s innocent.

“They trashed my fucking place!” Ash shouted as we stepped into her apartment.

“I know! It was clean as shit when we left,” I answered sarcastically.

Ash giggled as she wrapped her arms around my waist, “Shit isn’t clean.”

My mother cleared her throat and we both looked at her, realizing for the first time she was here. “Why don’t you get your stuff sweetie?”

Ash looked at me, then at my mother, then back at me, “I have my stuff. Thanks for the ride home. I can show you out…”

“Oh no, sweetie we can’t leave you alone. You have to come back with us to Justin’s apartment.”

“Oh no, um… no,” she said as she started to pace around the room nervously, “We’re going to stay here because this is where we stay. And you can go to his house and then we’ll call you before we have to go back to that place and stuff. So I can… show you out.”

Ryan took a deep breath, “Look Ashlee, it’s not an option. Get some shit together and we’re leaving. You’re coming, we’re all going. You come with us or you go back to the police station. Your choice. It’s late, I’m tired, this is complete bullshit. Let’s go.”

“Dude, chill,” who does this asshole think he is?

“Oh, I’m chilling Justin. I’ll wait outside.”

“What the fuck is his problem?”

“Nothing sweetie. We’re all just tired. Ashlee do you want me to help you get some stuff together?”

“Do I have to go?” she whined. My mother nodded her head and Ash pouted her way into her room like a six year old.

  I sat on the couch and my mother sat down next to me.  She seems to just look at me a lot. She looks like she’s about to cry but I don’t know if she’s happy I’m alive or sad I’m so fucked up. Probably some kind of a combination.

Star Girl came out a few minutes later with a backpack in her hands. She’s finally wearing pants and a sweatshirt but she still looks pissed. When we got to my apartment I froze in the doorway. I forgot about this place. It’s weird to think I was living so close at Star Girl’s place but it felt like its worlds away. The apartment is amazing but it also reminds me of everything I hate, everything I tried to get away from. Now it’s right here, in my face again. I don’t think I’m ready for that.

“Fuck Atticus, you didn’t tell me you had a place here. Especially this damn place. Seriously?”

“Seriously.” I finally made myself walk through the doorway, “I’m going to bed. Come on.”

“Of course, you must be tired. I’ll make up the guest room for Ashlee.” My mother said before heading towards the guest room.

“No Ma, we’re fine. Just go to bed.” I had to catch her before she left to give her a hug. I guess she needs that.

“OK. It’s so good to see you again. You had me so worried,” she forced a smile so I wouldn’t see her cry. She’s always been strong but I feel like she’s about to reach her breaking point. “Do you need anything?

Yeah, some coke would be nice.  You got any of that?  

“Fine Ma, it’s my house. Go to bed.” I said as I turned to Ashlee who was busy pacing around the room. She’s not too impressed with the place, things like that don’t faze her. She’s pacing around the room because she needs a fix. “Come on Ash.”

She jumped at the sound of her name but followed me into my room. “Ahh, so annoying,” she said as she sat on the floor leaning against the bed. Well first she pulled her pants off, that’s kind of a given. She has a problem wearing pants, and apparently sitting in chairs as well.  “As soon as she falls asleep we can leave.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“WHAT? Ok, well then I’m leaving.”

“You’re not leaving either.”

“Yeah, I am. Obviously,” she laughed.

“No, you’re not. Come on Ash, seriously where are you going to go?”

“Home?”

“Yeah. You really don’t understand how much shit we’re in. They think you kidnapped me.”

“Yeah well I didn’t so fuck that. They can’t arrest me for something I didn’t do.”

“But they can arrest you for something you did do, like all that fucking coke.”

She threw her head back and took a deep breath, “Ugh, you’re so annoying. You sound like my dad.”

“Your dad? Does he tell you that?”

“It’s a saying, would you relax? Come on, calm down,” the whining is back as she pulled her supply from her backpack, “Relax. The fucking swat team isn’t as good and finding shit as they should be.”

I sat down next to her faster than I’ve ever sat down next to anybody in my life, “You’re a lifesaver.”

Star Girl didn’t answer, she was too busy snorting. She threw her head back and took a deep breath before handing the mirror over to me. I felt her lips on my neck and her hands down my pants but I pushed her away so I could get my fix. It didn’t stop her; her lips were back on my neck in a matter of seconds. I picked her up and threw her on the bed. I pulled her panties off and she ripped her shirt off before I could get to it.

“Hurry up! You’re so fucking slow!”

“Shut up, you gotta be quiet.” She’s always so damn loud. I don’t give a shit when we’re all alone in her apartment but it’s a different story when my mother is a few rooms away.

“Then hurry up,” she whined as she pulled my shirt off and pushed my sweatpants down with her feet.

I wrapped her leg around me and entered her hard. She screamed and I whispered, “Shut the fuck up.”

“I know, your Mommy is gonna come in and catch us,” she giggled.

“Shut up,” I put my hand over her mouth because I don’t trust her, not even for a second. I don’t know in what alter universe it would be even the slightest bit funny if my mother came in and caught us fucking with the remains of an eight ball sprawled on the floor. Just because I’m coked up doesn’t mean I become an idiot; I can’t say the same about Star Girl. It’s a good thing I covered her mouth because she would have been screaming the whole time we were fucking. Don’t get me wrong, I’m usually all for the screaming but not when my mother’s down the hall.

I could feel her tensing up so I held pressed my hand harder against her lips. She still screamed even though it was muffled and bit my hand while digging her fingernails into my back. “Ow, fuck!” I shouted.

“Shh, you’re going to wake Mommy.” She giggled as I fell down next to her, surveying the bite marks on my hand.

“You’re a bitch.”

“Don’t cover my mouth like I’m a fucking child.”

“You are a fucking child.”

“Then you just fucked a child.” There were a few seconds of silence before she started giggling again. I joined in because it is kind of funny. Then there was silence. “What’s going to happen?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged, “I have good lawyers.”

“I don’t.”

“My lawyers are your lawyers.”

“They think I kidnapped you. How can they be both our lawyers?”

I started giggling like a teenager. It’s really hysterical that they think she kidnapped me. As if she could have if she tried, like I wouldn’t be able to sneak out. What do they think she threatened me with funnel cakes?     

“I still think I should leave,” she continued.

“You’re not going anywhere.”

“I am going everywhere,” she paused trying to make sense of what she said, “I’m not good with moms and lawyers and laws and big pent houses with big windows and beds and… I just want to do my own shit and have nobody bother me.”

“It’s just a fucking court date then you can go back home.”

“Yeah, and you can go back to your fucking jumping off roofs. What the hell?”

“I live a fucking mile away from you.”

“Yeah and you’re gonna be working and shit. You hate that fucking shit, that’s all I heard about. And now just cause you’re mom cried a little bit you’re all ready to go back. What makes you think it’s going to be better?”

“I didn’t say I was doing shit. I just said I don’t think we should run away like fucking fugitives.”

“I’m not a fugitive,” she answered softly, “This is bullshit.”

I’ve never seen her act like this before and apparently I’ve been with her for three months. Sure, I don’t remember most of those days but I’m positive that I’d remember her acting like this. It’s almost like she’s showing some kind of weakness, some kind of fear. Not Star Girl. That’s not possible.

“We just have to make it to the court date, then we’re free.”

“OK fine, but then I’m leaving. I’ll sneak out in the middle of the night and…”

“Shut up,” I broke in and pulled her on top of me, “Stop talking. You’re dirty, you’re fucking dirty.”

“You’re dirty. You need to wash your hair.”

“You need to wash your hair,” I replied as I ran my hands through her greasy hair. I couldn’t tell you the last time either of us showered. I picked her up and carried her to the bathroom. I sat her on the counter and turned the shower on, waiting for it to warm up.

“Are you going to fuck me in the shower?”

“That’s the plan.”

“What if we can’t fuck anymore?” the whining is back, “What if they say I’m a bad influence and you’re not allowed to fuck me anymore.”

What’s up with all her deep fucking thoughts? Who is this girl? “Then I tell them to fuck off. Nobody tells me what to do.”

As I moved closer to her she wrapped her legs around my waist and I was hard in a second. She’s never had a problem getting me hard, ever since that first fucking night. Damn, that feels like years ago. I picked her up and carried her into the shower, holding her up against the wall as I grinded into her. She screamed plenty but I didn’t have the energy to tell her to stop. She looks so fucking hot with the water falling over her body. Besides, the sound of the shower will block out the screaming a little. I don’t give a fuck if it doesn’t. 

There’s something about the shower fuck, something I can’t even begin to explain. Having her pinned up against the shower wall like that, her tits bouncing with the water falling all over her. Not even to mention how good it is in general to fuck when we’re coked. It’s the best sex I’ve ever had in my life and that’s no exaggeration.

When I pulled out of her and put her down she fell right to the floor. Weak in the knees, it happens. I grabbed the shampoo and put some in my hair before handing it down to her, but she didn’t grab it. “You alright, kid?” She nodded her head but still made no movement for the shampoo, “You gonna wash your hair?” Nothing. I squirted some shampoo on the top of her head but she just left it there and pulled her knees to her chest. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with this girl. I sat down next to her and rubbed the shampoo into her hair. She’s hardly even moving, it’s like something came over her and she’s in her own world. I stood up and grabbed the showerhead so I could wash it out of her hair. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

“Just leave it,” she finally looked up at me, “Go to bed, just give me a minute.”

“Alright,” I kissed her forehead and climbed out of the shower, leaving her on the ground with the water still running over her. She worries me sometimes; I wish I had some idea what the fuck was going on in her mind. She’s more fucked up than I am, that’s for sure. I left the light on the bedside table on but turned the other ones off and climbed into bed. I couldn’t sleep. An hour later I went into the bathroom and saw her in the same place she was in when I left her.

“Ash, come on,” I said before turning off the water. She looked up at me without saying a word. It almost looks like she’s been crying, but it’s probably just from the shower. I helped her up and wrapped a towel around her, “Are you alright?”

She didn’t answer, or make any kind of a movement.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.”