Oh god.
I think I’m going to be sick.
This is it.
There’s no turning back.
I’ve gone way too far now. Plus, my mom is already standing in the doorway.
Ok, I know I said I needed a change. But remind me why I thought that change was Tennessee?
Despite my brain telling me to turn around, I came to a stop and put the truck in park.
“Well, I guess this is it.” I said grabbing my purse and putting my handle on the door. I looked over at Kaden for a little reassurance.
“Everything will work out mom. I promise.” He said smiling at me as he got out of the truck and ran to meet my mom. I breathed in as deep as I could and made my way out of the truck. I got out just as my mother was talking about Kaden’s hair.
“I love your hair, but is your mom really that tight with money where she won’t pay for you a haircut?” she asked in teasing voice.
“No Gram she isn’t. I just like my hair this way.” Kaden said laughing. “The girls love it.”
“I bet they do. I have the best looking grandson in the state of Tennessee.” She said as I approached them both. “Hi honey.” She said wrapping me into a hug.
“Hey momma.” I said kissing her on the cheek.
“How was your trip?” she asked as she pulled away from me. Damn, she was giving me her famous Mother once over. You know that silent inspection that mother’s give you when they haven’t seen you in a long period of time? Then they try to figure out if you’ve been getting enough sleep, if you’ve been eating enough, or if it’s just the way you’re wearing your hair now a days. Well, at least that’s how it is in the South.
“The trip was pretty good. Nerve wracking but good none the less.” I said looking up at my son. He pretty much towered over me. He stands at 6’2” where I stand at 5’5”. Ok so he doesn’t really tower over me but it’s pretty bad when you have to look up at your own son.
“Well you guys come on in. I’ve got supper ready. We’ll worry about unpacking tomorrow.”
Tonight was the first night of the rest of my life. I looked up at my son and we walked into my mother’s house together.
Our first week was going great. We got all our stuff unpacked and some of it is in storage.
The U-Haul Truck has been sent to a local station for them things. I started my new job on Tuesday, and so far everything has been going great. I teach Sophomore English at the local high school. The only bad thing is it’s where I went to high school, but I guess all my old teachers have either croaked or retired. They were all old. I had just got off work and I had to go to the grocery store to pick some things up for my mom when it happened. I was looking at the meat, observing which kind that I thought we wanted, when I heard someone say my name.
“Keeley?”
Naturally my head turns in the direction that my name was called with my brain fighting every second. I knew that voice all to well. And there he stood a man that I hadn’t seen in years in all his glory. He looked the exact same. He had aged a little since the last time I saw him, but he was still beautiful. Same pierce right through you blue eyes, his hair looked a little more controlled then it did back in the day, in fact it looked very nice. I guess a little gel and some haircuts could work wonders. He still had that bring me to my knees smile that lit up his whole face, and the same perfect jaw line.
Oh my god what the hell am I supposed to say? I haven’t seen him in years, and now, poof, he’s back in my life like that. Ok Keeley you guys were the best of friends at one point before everything that happened surely you can find something to say.
“Justin? Wow, it’s so good too see you.” I said kind of low but seemed excited none the less. His career was still going on pretty strong and even though he was at home I knew he still had a few rabid fans. I braced myself for the hug that I knew was coming, and sure enough there it was. God did he smell good, and he had more muscle since the last time I hugged him.
“I thought I would never see you again. I still can’t believe I’m actually seeing you.”
I laughed a nervous laugh, “Well believe it.” I said smiling. After all this time he still had the same effect on me. We used to be best friends from the time that we could walk, but like everything else things change, and we began to have feelings for each other. Things haven’t been the same since, but that is such a long story that I don’t want to get into right now.
”So what brings you back to Tennessee? My mom told me you were in Georgia.”
See? Some things just never change. Even when you’ve left a small town everyone still knows what you’re doing. Not that I minded his mom knowing anything, his mom was like my second mother. Plus, our mothers are best friends and always have been.
“Yeah, I’ve been in Georgia ever since I started college. I accepted another job at our old high school and I’m teaching 10th grade English.”
“So you’re a teacher? I guess I should have known that. You always said you were going to be one.” He said smiling at me. Damn him!
“Yeah, I love it. What about you, Mr. Pop Star Extraordinaire? How’ve things been with you?” I asked as I chose my meat selection and placed it in my buggy. Yes, in the south we call carts buggies. Anyway, I began to push it in the next place I needed to go motioning for Justin to follow. That might be a mistake but let’s face it. I missed the guy. Despite everything we were friends first before any of the other stuff, and I missed having my best friend around. He followed along beside me with what he was going to purchase in his hand.
“Things are really beginning to slow down. I’m getting to old for all this, but you’re the only person besides my mother that I would admit that too.” He said with a laugh. Wow, we’re still telling secrets after all these years? Boy, if he knew the half of mine.
“You’re still a young whipper schnapper. Look at Chris; you’re just a little bit older than him before Nsync stopped he was 31.”
“Well I guess you’re right but Chris had more energy than the other four of us put together.” He said laughing at the thought of Chris Kirkpatrick. Yep those were the days. Thoughts of the old days began to cloud his head but before those thoughts took over he changed the subject, “So what about you? What have you been up too besides teaching, and college? Any husbands, fiancés, boyfriends, kids?”
“Oh god no. I did have a fiancé at one time but that didn’t work out. No husbands, but I’ve had a million boyfriends.” I said laughing.
“So I guess that would be a no in the kid department then huh?”
Oh boy. My mouth opened before my brain could protest, “Actually I do have a son.”
“Really? How old is he?”
Again, “Sixteen. He just turned sixteen, and he just got his license. God help me.”
“Sixteen? You must have been really young?”
“I was. I was seventeen when I had him. It was kind of hard having a baby and doing the college thing at the same time, but I did it. I was determined too. And I did it a few thousand miles away from my momma. Although she had helped anyway she could.” Why am I telling him all this?
He was silent for a moment, “Wow. I still can’t believe you have a son.”
“I do.” I said not being able to hide the smile that was beginning to creep up on my face.
“So I’m guessing his father was your fiancé at one point?”
Oh did he have to bring up the father question? That was a can of worms I don’t think I’m willing to open just yet. Especially with someone that I hadn’t seen in a while.
Justin noticed my hesitance to answer, “I’m sorry. I know I’m prying. You don’t have to answer. It’s just I feel like I’ve missed out on a lot where you’re concerned. It’s like you’re not the same Keeley that I knew before. I’m just trying to get to know this one a little better.”
Boy if he only knew how much he missed. “It’s fine. I don’t blame you. You’re not really the same Justin Timberlake that I always knew, and I’m dying to get to know him too.” I said smiling.
“I guess time changes a lot of things huh Keel?”
I smiled, “Yeah I guess they do.” A comfortable yet awkward silence fell over us.
“Well I…”
“I’ve got to…”
We both started at the same time, and laughed. “You first.” I said smiling.
“I was wondering if you’d want to get together or something. You know hang out.”
“That sounds great. My number’s still the same. Kaden and I are staying with my mom right now.” I noticed the awkward look on his face, and I remembered I never told him my son’s name. “Oh sorry. Kaden’s my son.”
“Oh, duh. I should’ve put two and two together. That’s a pretty cool name.”
“Apparently he thinks so too. Kaden is actually his middle name. As he got older he said Christopher wasn’t cool enough.” I said smiling at the memory. He was only in first grade when he told me this. I smiled more as Justin laughed. I forgot how much I missed that.
“What were you going to say earlier?”
What was I going to say? “Oh I was going to say that I had to go. My son’s waiting in the car, and my mom’s expecting groceries home soon.”
“Well, I was just leaving too. Why don’t we just check out together? I’ll even help with your groceries”
“Sure.”
A couple of minutes later Justin and I were walking out to my car. He refused to let me carry anything.
Not that I minded.
“That’s my car right there.” I said pointing toward my Tahoe. I saw Kaden give me a strange look, and he hopped out of the car.
“Uh, Mom?”
“Kaden, this is one of my oldest friends, Justin. We’ve known each other ever since we were little. Justin, this is my son Kaden.” I said as I opened the door to the back of the car. Justin sat the inside and turned back to smile at Kaden. He stuck out his hand, “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Wow. Mom, wow.” Was all Kaden could say as he grabbed Justin’s hand and shook it. “Are you…?” He trailed off.
“Justin Timberlake? Yeah, I am.” Justin said with a smile.
Kaden smiled nervously, “Wow, It’s so nice too meet you.” He said glaring at me. “Geez, Mom. You could have told me you had cool friends.”
I looked at him shocked, “Thanks.” I said pushing Kaden playfully.
“So how do you guys know each other?” Kaden asked pointing back and forth between Justin and me.
“My mom and her…well your grandma, I guess. God that’s weird.” Justin said laughing as he looked at me. I smiled back, “Anyway, yeah, they were high school friends that were joined at the hip and never left Tennessee after graduation. They both had kids, and I guess it was highly probable that their kids would be best friends.”
“Well, just when you think you know everything about a person.” Kaden said as he crossed his arms over his chest. He rolled his eyes playfully at me, and then turned his attention back to Justin. “I’m a fan of your music. I like your style. Your everywhere with your music, and you don’t see that too much with other artists.”
Justin seemed impressed, “You seem to know what you’re talking about.”
“I love music. I play a little.”
“What do you play?”
“Guitar and a little piano.”
“What kind of music do you play? Are you in a band or something?”
“I like to play anything. And I do mean anything…well except polka. I used to be in band, but it wasn’t for me, plus mom and I moved up here so I had to leave that behind.”
“Well maybe you and I could jam together sometime.”
I had to smile when I saw Kaden’s eyes light up, “Really? God that would be awesome!”
Justin laughed at his excitement, “Sure. My mom only lives a couple houses down from where you guys are staying. You should come over sometime.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.” Then Justin looked at me as if maybe he overstepped some boundaries, “That is…if it’s ok with your mom.”
“Fine by me.” I said.
Kaden smiled and looked at Justin, “I’ll definitely take you up on that. It was nice meeting you.” Kaden said as he opened up the car door and slipped back inside.
“Seems like you got yourself a pretty cool kid.”
“He gets it from me.” I said as I began to walk around to my side.
“Well, I don’t remember you ever being that cool.”
“Excuse me? Who do you think is the one that taught you, Trace, and the others the New Kid on the Block choreography when you guys tried out for the school talent show?”
“That was once.” He said shoving his hands in his pockets, smiling at me.
“Ok, who’s the one that gave you the idea for you to sing When a Man Loves a Woman when you auditioned for MMC? I would say it jumpstarted your career and I think I should get a little credit for that.” I said as I leaned against my car door.
“Do you now?” He said laughing.
“I’m just kidding.” I said placing my hand on the handle, “Well I guess I’ll see you later.”
“Definitely. We’ve got a lot to catch up on.”
“Yeah, I guess we do.” I said smiling at him.
“I’ll see you later.” Justin said as he turned to walk away toward his car.
“Bye Justin.” I said as I got in my car remembering the last time I had to say goodbye to him.
January 1998
“Come on Keel. Please come with me?” Justin said as he pulled me closer into the hug.
“Justin you know I can’t. I have graduation and college in the fall. I can’t just leave that behind.” I said removing my head from his chest to look into his eyes.
“But you can finish up school with me with my tutors that I have, and if you want the whole ceremony deal I’ll fly you back out in time for it. And you can still go to college in the fall.”
“You make this all sound so easy.” I said. And he did. It just wasn’t that simple. Or was it?
I could just as easily get on that plane with him, finish high school from a tour bus, and fly back for the ceremony just as easily as I could walk out of this airport after watching him fly away. That would be ten times harder than getting on the plane with him.
“Baby, it is that simple. You love me; I love you, that’s all that matters. When it comes to love it is that simple.”
But what about my dreams? My goals? I loved him yes, but I just couldn’t give up on my dreams to follow after him as he fulfilled his. As much as I wish I were that kind of person, I’m just not.
Before I could reply his forehead rested on mine and he began to sway us back and forth, “Last night was amazing. We could do that every night, if you’d just come with me.” He said as he smirked at me.
Damn last night was amazing. No it wasn’t our first time or our first time together, but it was our first time together in three months. Three months of bottled up passion that busted in the backseat of his car out by a deserted lake…twice.
I smirked back, “Last night was amazing wasn’t it?”
He laughed softly and smiled, “Yes it was. I never want to go that long without you again.” He said as he began to kiss and nibble on my neck.
You know if he kept it up we would be having goodbye sex right here in front of everybody in the Memphis Airport…and I wouldn’t give a damn.
“And neither do I.” I said as I pushed him away from my neck.
“Then come with me. I know me and the guys don’t have much right now, but this year is going to be the start of something big for us over here. I can feel it, baby. I really can.”
I smiled sympathetically at him. I was excited for him and the guys I really was. I know they’re gonna be something big. They all have amazing talent, and America won’t be able to ignore it much longer. But I couldn’t ignore my dreams. I had to do this for me.
“You guy’s are going to do phenomenal things this year. I know it. And you’ll all have my support one hundred percent. But I have to stay.”
“Why?”
“Because Justin, I have dreams too. And as much as I love you I cant put them on hold because you want me to come with you on tour.”
“I’m not asking you too. I just want you with me.”
“I know you do, and I would love to come with you…”
“So do it.” Justin said as he cut me off.
“Justin do you realize what you’re asking me? You’re asking me to give up on memories that will be with me for a lifetime. I have friends, and I have a mother who wants to see me do all those things. There’s more than just me in this equation. And I really don’t think my mother would go for it.”
“Is that how you really feel?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you really think I’m asking you to give up on high school?”
“No I don’t but I also don’t want to experience it out of a tour bus. That’s not me Justin.”
He took in a breath, “I know, I know. I’m sorry.” He said as he pulled away from me and went to sit in one of the seats. I stood there and watched him for a minute before I sat down next to him.
“Justin I know it’s going to be hard being away from each other. But I’ll be here waiting for you, I promise.”
“I know.” He said as he squeezed my knee.
I wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and pulled him to me. I whispered in his ear sexily, “We could always have goodbye sex in the bathroom.”
I pulled away a little to see his reaction, and I sighed when there wasn’t one. “Justin did you hear what I said?”
He smiled weakly, “Yeah I did.”
“Then where’s my reaction?” I said smiling as I nudged him. “What’s wrong?”
“I was just thinking. And I want you to hear me out, ok?”
“Alright.”
“With all of this…me asking you to come with me and stuff. I realized how long us being apart could do to us. It was like I got this whole…vision, thing, of what our relationship would turn into. And I’ve seen it Keels. I’ve seen what it does to couples. I saw what it did to Tony when we were on MMC and his girlfriend. I don’t want us to end up like that.”
What was he saying?
“I don’t. I love you too much to put you through this. So, I’m…I’m going to end this before it gets ugly.”
“I don’t understand. Justin if you want me to go this bad I’ll go!”
“No, no, I realize I was asking too much. You have dreams just like I do, and if you would have asked me to stay and graduate together, and go to prom with you, and put off what I’m doing right now I can’t say that I wouldn’t have the same reaction you did when I asked you to go with me.”
“Justin, you can’t be serious.”
“I am. As much as I hate it I am. We have WAY to much history for us to continue and it end up like the way I just envisioned it. I don’t want that for us. I have way to much respect for you, for myself, and for our relationship and other surrounding it to let it end ugly.”
“Flight 110 from Memphis to Orlando is now boarding.”
He stood up and grabbed his backpack. “I have to go.” He said as he slung his bag over his shoulder.
“Come on, Justin. This isn’t fair! Don’t I get a say in this too?”
“Baby, you have to see this is the best way. This hurts me to be saying these things to you, but I don’t want to lose our friendship. If this continues, with us being apart so much it’s going to eventually take it’s toll and we’ll lose everything that we have together. At least this way we can salvage our friendship.”
“But…” He cut me off with a mind blowing kiss, and after knocking my world off it’s axis he pulled away.
He pressed his forehead against mine, “I love you. Please don’t ever forget that. If things were different…”
“I love you too. Isn’t that enough?”
“Baby, it’ll always be more than enough. But your love is something I can’t risk shattering to pieces. I won’t do that. Time will eventually take its toll, and there wont be no turning back.”
“Second boarding call for Flight 110 from Memphis to Orlando.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep the tears from falling, and blinked my eyes a few times, “You better go.”
He began to walk away and turned back to me and mouthed, “I love you.”
I smiled and shook my head then turned toward the big window where you could watch the planes take off. I stood there.
And stood there.
And stood there. Until I saw his plane taxi down the runway.
This is really happening.
I saw his plane take off into the sky, and I turned away not able to look. I laid my head back against the window and closed my eyes not being able to stop the tears that followed.
I put my head in my hands as I began to cry harder, and I slid down to the floor.
He was really gone.
Gone and I could do nothing about it.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Loving A Music Man Ain't Always
What It's Suppossed To Be...
Oh Girl You Stand By Me
I'm Forever Yours...Faithfully
- Faithfully : Journey
What It's Suppossed To Be...
Oh Girl You Stand By Me
I'm Forever Yours...Faithfully
- Faithfully : Journey
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