Justin and I somewhat caught up on the drive into Memphis. We were driving down the interstate when I saw a karaoke bar. I loved to karaoke. I hadn’t been to one since before I knew I was pregnant with Kaden. In fact it was before Justin came home for the holidays the year before. I singing all the crazy songs, and the crowds loved me. I knew by the feeling that I felt when the audience would scream for me just why Justin loved what he did so much. Of course I never told him that I loved to sing. He’d only heard me sing a long to the radio. I never loved it as much as he did to make a career out of.
“Wow I haven’t been to a Karaoke bar in forever.” I said with a little remembrance in my voice.
“Are you serious?” Justin asked as he got off on that exit.
“Well there are only so many places you can go with a son and a karaoke bar isn’t one of them.” I said as we drove down the off ramp, “Where are we going?” I asked as I looked around.
“We’re going to that bar.”
“Justin are you serious?”
“You sounded like you wanted to go. And why not? It’ll be fun.”
Now that I thought about it I really wanted to go.
“I imagine we are a little overdressed for the occasion. But let’s do it!” I said excitedly
“That’ll make it even more fun.” He said as he got in the turning lane to go to the bar.
We walked into the bar to some guy singing a very pitchy, very drunk version of I’ll Be by Edwin McCain to his even more drunk wife.
“Wow.” I said making a face like I had just heard something disgusting.
Justin laughed and placed a hand at the small of back as he led me to a table, “Do you want something to drink?”
I placed my coat on the back of my chair and sat down, “Uh I think I’ll just take a beer for right now.”
He looked at me surprised, “A beer?”
I looked at him weird, “Yeah a beer. What’s wrong with that?”
He laughed, “I didn’t think you were a beer girl. Most of the girls that I’ve taken out have been the fruity cocktail type.”
I smirked, “I thought you knew by now that I’m not most girls.” I said placing my chin in the palm of my hand.
He smirked back, “That you’re definitely not.” He said as he walked to the bar to get our drinks.
Were we flirting?
Because it sure seemed like it.
Justin walked back to our table with two Budweiser’s, “I didn’t know what you preferred so…” he said as he placed my beer in front of me.
“This is just fine.” I said as I took a long drink. I placed my beer back on the table and saw Justin staring at me with some sort of look and a smile.
“What?” I asked with a laugh.
“Nothing. I just feel like I’m getting to know this whole new person. I thought I knew everything there is to know about you. But I guess I was wrong.” He said taking a swig of his beer and placing it back down on the table.
“Time changes a lot of things. There’s a lot that I don’t know about you either.” I said in response.
“I’m sure you read a lot about me in the papers.” He said as he crossed his arms and leaned on the table.
“Well some but I knew that not a lot of that was true. I know you better than to believe what they write about you in tabloids.”
He smiled, “Yeah I guess you do.” He grabbed his beer and took another drink, “So explain this karaoke fetish that you have. I never knew this.”
“Every girl has her secrets Timberlake. I love it, but it’s just something that I used to do for fun.”
“So do I get to witness this?” He asked with a smile as he leaned back in his chair.
“In due time I promise. I don’t know if I want to sing in front of a big shot like you.”
He smirked again and leaned across the table to whisper in my ear, “I’ll go easy on ya.” His lips barely touched my ear lobe and it sent sensations to places that shouldn’t be toyed with in a bar. Unless you want to go at it in the bathroom stall.
I, of course, was not the person to back down from flirting.
“Is that a promise?”
“If that’s how you want it.”
Flirting was so easy with him, “You of all people should know that I don’t like things easy.”
He smirked back at me and stepped up his game. He placed a light kiss on the place right below my earlobe, “That I do.”
“Easy tiger.” I said laughing as I pushed him back. He laughed and sat back in his chair.
“I knew you’d be the first to give up.” He said smiling.
I rolled my eyes and smiled, “Whatever.”
Oh boy. Them sensations were getting stronger.
I grabbed my beer and downed the rest of it and stood.
Justin looked up at me from his seat, “Where are you going?”
“I’m going to look at their songs.” I said smoothing out my dress and walked toward the sound system where the karaoke guy was sitting. He let me have a book of songs and I went back to our table.
“What song are you looking for?” He asked as he leaned across the table to look at the book.
I grabbed the book and lifted it towards me, “Uh, I don’t think so. Why don’t you go get me another beer while I find a song?” I said with a smile.
“Come on why can’t I see?”
“Because I don’t want you too.” I said fixing my attention back on the book.
“Fine.” He said laughing as he stood up and walked back to the bar.
I found my song and wrote the number and my name down on the paper that the man had given me before Justin returned to the table.
“Did you find something already?”
He asked placing the beer on the table and sat down as I closed the book.
I smiled and shook my head, “Yes I did. I’ll be right back.” I said as I stood up and walked back over to the guy and gave him my slip of paper. There were five other people ahead of me so I had a while to get over the butterflies in my stomach.
I returned to my seat with Justin looking at me with curiosity.
I laughed and answered what I knew what he was thinking, “I’m not about to tell you what song I’m singing. You’ll laugh and tell that me I can’t do it.”
“I would not.”
“Oh yes you would. But you my dear friend have no idea just what I am capable of.”
He smirked, “Oh I think I do.”
I rolled my eyes and blushed, “Shut up.” I said throwing a balled up napkin at him.
He laughed and crossed his arms and leaned on the table, “Does anyone else know how much of a freak you are?”
My jaw dropped, “Justin Randall!” I squeaked.
He laughed again, “Not that it’s a bad thing. I was just wondering if I was the only person who had been introduced to that side of you.” He said smiling as he took a drink of his beer.
I glared at him. He was evil. Really evil. “I hate you.”
“No you don’t.”
“Yes I do.”
“You’re just mad because I called you on your freaky side. But don’t worry your secret’s safe with me.”
“Well you’re not exactly the boy next door when it comes to sex either.” I said taking a much needed drink of my beer.
“Touché.”
I smiled, “I seem to remember a weekend that you were back from your tour. I had the house to myself for a whole weekend and…”
He laughed nervously, “I don’t think we need to relive that.”
“Why not?”
“Because. We just don’t.”
“In fact I remember trying a new…”
“Keeley!”
It was my turn to lean across the table and give him a dose of his own medicine. I got as close as I could to where if I talked my lips would graze across his ear. He could never stand that. Someone whispering in his ear turned him on to no end.
“I liked it.” I whispered as I licked my lips sexily and sat back down in my seat.
He cleared his throat and shifted in his chair, “I seem to remember that fact very well actually.” He said smiling trying to get himself back in the game.
“Do you now?”
He smirked, “Yes I do. I’m surprised you’re bed survived.”
I was too actually.
I saw a young couple go up on stage and begin singing I Got You Babe. The guy motioned to me that I was up after them.
“You’re next huh?” Justin asked.
“I guess so.” I said taking a really long swig of my beer and slammed it back down on the table. I stood up and smoothed my dress down, “Wish me luck?”
“Luck.” He said holding up his beer as I walked toward the stage.
I stood at the steps and went over the lyrics in my head. I was pretty brave doing a Whitney Houston song but this song really described my relationship with Justin.
Although we never had an affair like the couple in the song I could really relate to the way the girl felt.
I heard the first chords play on the speakers as I grabbed the mic and looked at the screen in front of me. I smirked when I heard Justin cheering me on in the back.
“A few stolen moments, is all that we shared
You've got your family, and they need you there
Though I try to resist, being last on your list
But no other man's gonna do
So I'm saving all my love for you.”
I laughed when I heard him whistling and some other guys doing the same and I began to slowly come out of my shell.
“It's not very easy, living all alone
My friends try and tell me, find a man of my own
But each time I try, I just break down and cry
Cause I'd rather be home feeling blue
So I'm saving all my love for you.”
I grabbed the mic off the stand and began to walk toward our table during the instrumental break.
Let’s see him try and top this.
“You use to tell me, we'd run away together.”
I sang as I sat down in his lap, and ran my finger down his cheekbone.
“Love gives you the right to be free
You said be patient, just wait a little longer
But that's just an old fantasy.”
He was laughing as I stood up and walked back to the stage.
“I've got to get ready, just a few minutes more
Gonna get that old feeling
When you walk through that door
Cause tonight is the night for feeling alright
We'll be making love the whole night through
So, I'm saving all my love
Yes, I'm saving all my love
Yes, I'm saving all my love for you
No other women is gonna love you more
Cause tonight is the night
That I'm feeling alright
We'll be making love the whole night through
So, I'm saving all my love
Yes, I'm savin all my loving
Yes, I'm saving all my love for you
For you
For you.”
I held the note out as long as I could without cracking and placed the mic back on the stand. I smiled when the whole place erupted in applause and whistles.
I laughed as I walked back to our table, and someone else took the stage.
“I never knew that you could sing like that.” He said with an disbelieving smile on his face.
“Well I’m no Whitney Houston.” I said laughing.
“No, but damn near it.” He grabbed my hand from across the table and rubbed his thumb over my knuckles and smiled at me, “I guess you learn something new everyday. And that was damn sexy what you did to me.”
“Well you keep flirting with me and making me blush I figured it was your turn.”
“Can it be my turn again? I wouldn’t mind you doing it again.”
I laughed, “No.”
“I guess this part of the you that I don’t know.”
“I guess so.”
He smiled that smile that could win peace in countries at war and said, “Can I get to know this one?”
“I don’t know. You might not like what you find out.”
“I doubt that.”
Well he cant say that I didn’t warn him right?
“Just how well do you want to get to know this Keeley?”
“As acquainted as you want me to be?”
I placed my other hand on top of his, “Hmm, that could be a bad thing.”
“How so?”
“Because that could lethal.” I said smiling.
“Are you flirting with me Owen?”
“Isn’t that what you’ve been doing with me all night?”
“I was just trying to keep it interesting. And here you are trying to come on to me?” He said jokingly as he pointed to himself.
“You’re such an asshole.” I said laughing.
“Ah but you love me.” He said leaning back in his chair.
That I do.
That I do.
March 1998
After my appointment my mom let me drive the car back home so I could rest. I promised to come pick her up before she got off that evening.
I cried the whole way home.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want this.
I just didn’t expect it to end up like this.
I loved children.
I just figured that everything else would come before the babies.
I wasn’t even still with the father.
How was I supposed to tell Justin?
Should I even tell him?
How the hell was I supposed to get a hold of him anyway? This wasn’t something that should be said over the phone. But he wouldn’t be coming back to Tennessee until after I leave to go to college in Georgia.
I pulled up into our driveway and walked into our house. I threw the keys on the table in the foyer and made my way up the stairs.
I fell face first on to my bed and cried into my pillow. I cried so much that I fell asleep. I don’t know for how long. But I was woke up by the ringing of my phone coming from the nightstand.
My voice was groggy and I was still a little sniffly from crying before but I answered anyway.
“Hello?”
“Hey Keel. It’s Trace.”
I smiled, “Hey Trace.”
“How are you? I didn’t see you at school today.”
“I’m fine I guess. I’m just…” Do I tell him? He’s my best friend outside of Justin. What do I tell him? “I’m just a little sick. It’s nothing that I won’t be over tomorrow.”
“So I’ll see you at school tomorrow then huh?”
I smiled, “Definitely.”
“So what have you been up too?”
I rolled over on my back and stared up at the ceiling as I talked to Trace, “Nothing much. I’ve pretty much counted all the little white speck on my ceiling and watched every movie that I own at least twice.”
“How long have you been sick?”
It was Monday today. So I guess I started feeling sick Friday after school. Wow, I had been sick for three days.
“Three days. It started after school on Friday.”
“Have you been to the doctor?”
Boy have I been to the doctor. I would have much preferred to have the flu compared to all this. It’s not the baby’s fault at all. I don’t regret him or her at all. I just don’t need this right now. But I’m sure the he or she didn’t either. I’m sure they don’t want to be born to some unprepared teenager getting over the break up from the love of her life. Who also happens to be their father.
“Keel? You there?”
“Uh, yeah sorry. I was just in a daze.”
“It’s alright. So you have been to the doctor right?”
“Yes I have. Do you honestly think my mother would let me go three days being sick without going to the doctor?”
He laughed, “You’re right. What did they say?”
That I’m knocked up. But I can’t tell him that now can I?
It would be nice to talk to someone other than my mother about this.
But that can’t be possible.
“That I just have a virus going around. He gave me some meds that should knock it.”
I’ve already been knocked. And pretty well apparently.
“That’s good.”
Yeah it was good. Apparently too good considering this outcome.
“Yeah, I’ll be back to me in no time.”
“Well I was just calling to check up on you since I didn’t see you at school today.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ll give you my history notes. Remind me tomorrow.”
“Alright I will. Thanks buddy.”
“No problem. What are friends for right?”
I smiled, “Right.”
“So I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”
“Yep. Uh, hey Trace?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Will you answer me honestly?”
“As honest as I can be. What is it?”
“Have you talked to Justin since he left?”
There was a long pause on his end before he finally answered, “Yeah, I have.”
“Really?” I asked though I really wasn’t surprised.
“Yeah. I’m sorry Keels.”
I smiled though the tears started to fall again. “What do you have to be sorry for Trace? It’s not your fault.” I said trying to hide the fact that I was crying from my voice. I failed miserably.
“Keel…”
I interrupted, “I’m going to go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow alright Trace?”
“Alright, bye.”
“Bye.”
I placed the phone back on the nightstand and rolled over into my pillow. I cried until I fell back asleep.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Gonna get that old feeling
When you walk through that door
Cause tonight is the night for feeling alright
We'll be making love the whole night through
So, I'm saving all my love
Saving All My Love- Whitney Houston
When you walk through that door
Cause tonight is the night for feeling alright
We'll be making love the whole night through
So, I'm saving all my love
Saving All My Love- Whitney Houston
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