I don’t know how it happened.
I really don’t.
I mean we were standing there, just talking and saying good night, and the next second I find myself pressed up against a door, that I’m hoping is locked, with Justin’s lips pressed against mine.
This kiss…
I don’t even know if I can explain it.
That’s how amazing it was.
I don’t even know if amazing could even begin to describe that.
It was like the kiss released sixteen years of pent up sexual tension (a department that Justin and I never lacked in) on our lips.
When we finally pulled away we were both fighting for air, a strap of my dress was halfway down my shoulder, and my lipstick was smeared on my lips and his also.
I smiled. That was all I could think to do. I mean what would you do? I swear he was the only man who could do this to me. He touched nerves that no other man touched. He knew just what to do to make me his bitch. I know that sounds crude but its true. Right now with me fighting for air, looking up into his eyes filled with passion, I was putty in his hands.
And that was something that I hated and loved all at the same time.
“Wow.” I said. And that was all I could say. That was the best thing that came to my mind at the moment to describe it.
“I know. Listen I’m sorry.” He said trying to hide the fact that he wanted to do it again. I could tell he wanted too, and I can’t honestly say that I would stop him if he tried.
I breathed in deep before I tried to speak. I was making sure that I had enough air to do so.
“Don’t apologize. It was bound to happen sooner or later.” I said trying my best at an honest laugh. But it came out as a nervous laugh.
“I’ve never been able to hold back where you’re concerned.” Justin said smiling as he placed my strap back in its rightful position on my shoulder.
I shifted nervously under his gaze and smiled, “I guess I do that to people.” I said trying my best at making a joke.
“You’ve always drove me crazy.”
“Now that’s something that I’ve been told before. I drive a lot of people crazy.”
How am I supposed to reply to that? What do you say to something like that?
“Well you drive me crazy that way too but I’ve never wanted to throw another woman against the wall and ravish her like I do you.”
I laughed a genuine laugh this time, “Ravish?”
He laughed also, “Well what do you prefer?”
“I don’t know if I’ve ever been ravished. I’ve had a lot of things done to me but I don’t know if ravish is one of them. I’m not sure what qualifies as being ravished.”
“I’m sure what we just did was qualified as such. You were only medium ravished but it could have gone to well done if weren’t outside your mother’s house.”
“It never stopped you before.”
“Those were times your mother wasn’t home.”
“Ah but it was my mothers house all the same. Are you saying that you’re afraid of my mother?”
“No I’m not afraid of your mother.”
I was going to reply but I saw the porch light flicker more than once. I hadn’t seen that since the last time Justin and I found ourselves like this.
“Now that’s something that I haven’t seen in a while.” Justin said echoing my thoughts.
“How come I always get the porch light flickered at me when I’m out here with you?”
“I guess I have that affect on people. Mother’s guard their daughters when I’m around you know.”
“I guess so.”
We stood in silence for a few moments when I decided to break it, “So I guess this is good night.”
“Can we do this again?”
My mouth replied before my brain could think, “Sure.”
“What about tomorrow?”
“That sounds great.”
He smiled and bent to give me another kiss. Right when I found myself putting my hand on his neck to get more he pulls away. He pulls away with his teeth grazing my bottom lip.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said as he let go of my hand and began to walk back to his car.
He left me there on my porch, lips puffed up, eyes filled with passion, and wobbly legs that were afraid to move in fear of falling on my face.
When his car left my sight I turned and walked to my door opened it and walked into my house.
“Did you have a good time?” I heard my mother ask.
“Uh, yeah, yeah I had good time.”
My head was still spinning partly because of the 8 beers that I had, and mostly because of the kiss that I just experienced and the make out session before that.
I know my mother knew something was up, “Keeley are you drunk?”
“No mom. Well maybe a little buzzed but definitely not drunk. Is Kaden in bed?”
“Yeah he went up at about eleven. Do you need something?”
I began to make my way up the stairs, “No mom I’m fine. It’s isn’t anything a cold shower can’t cure.”
“I take things went well?” she said as I stopped before concurring the second flight of stair and looked over the banister at my mother.
“Oh yeah that went very well.”
I had a feeling that things were going to go even better the tomorrow.
June 1996
“Why did you stop?” I asked trying to get breathe. Things were getting really hot and heavy between Justin and I. The only things keeping us from being naked were my jeans and his jeans. Everything else had found a new home on the floor.
“Do you realize what we’re close to doing?”
Well duh how could I not realize it?
My chest was exposed for the entire world to see and there was a condom still in the wrapper on his nightstand.
What would that say to you?
“Well it’s kind of obvious.” I said sitting up beside him as I slid behind him and hugged him from behind. I wrapped my hands around his waist and placed kisses on his shoulder blade. “I thought this is what you wanted?”
I felt his hands go over mine and rub them gently, “It is what I want. But what about you?” he said, “Keel if you want to wait, I can too. I don’t want to pressure you into doing something that you’re not ready for.”
“Babe if I wasn’t ready my bra and my shirt wouldn’t be on your floor right now.”
“I know but I just wanted to make sure you’re ok with this.”
“I couldn’t be surer of anything in my life. I love you.” I said as moved in front of him and straddled him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him softly on the lips, “I love you more than anything. And I’m not doing this just for you I’m doing this for me too. Believe me do you know how many cold showers I have to go home and take after these sessions with you?” I asked as he laughed and ran his hand softly down my cheek. I leaned my forehead against his, looked into his eyes, and smiled. “I think I’m way more than ready for the real thing.”
As soon as I said that Justin grabbed my face gently and pulled me toward him in a kiss.
He laid me back down on his bed, and we were back to where we started.
Except this time I wasn’t as nervous as I was before.
This time I had the reassurance that I was doing the right thing.
I loved Justin more than I ever thought possible, and I was going to prove it to him.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Your smile just captured me, you were in my future as far as i could see.
And i dont know how it happened, but it happens still.
You ask me if i love you, if i always will....
You Had Me From Hello- Kenny Chesney
And i dont know how it happened, but it happens still.
You ask me if i love you, if i always will....
You Had Me From Hello- Kenny Chesney
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