The ride to wherever we were going was so far quite as I played with my ring and looked out the window and thought about what had just happened, the arugement, the kiss. I placed my finger tips to my lips still feeling his against mine.

Even though I had never been with anyone but Tanner and kissed anyone but Tanner, kissing Justin was something else. It was like you know how when you watch those sappy romance movies and you just feel your heart beat in your chest as they finally kiss for the first time and just I don’t want to say but swooen with them.

I’m becoming an emotional sap here, I shook my head as Lynn pulled into a local diner and parked her car.

Getting out we headed inside and the moment we sat down, we order our drinks and than were left alone to look at the menus.

Both of us looked over our menus as I read the description for what I wanted for the fifth time and ran my tounge on the inside of my cheek, tasting of all things Justin’s mouthwash, making me relive the kiss with a smile to my face.

Looking up I saw Lynn smile at me as I blushed.

She had placed her menu down so I followed suit and as the waiter came and took our orders and our menus back we stared at each other for a second before Lynn chuckled a bit.

“Nicole, did you want to tell me what happened in the closest,” she said and I rasied my eyebrows and a slight smile came to my lips but I turned it away fast not sure if I was allowed to, obviously Lynn knew something was up.

I bit the inside of both my lips before I opened my mouth and took a breath, but before I could say anything at all Lynn explained something to me.

“I’m only wondering because well, I heard what you said, and I heard what he said and than it went quiet, and,” Lynn shrugged and blushed.

“You heard us,” I said with a grimace, I guess the walls in his house were thinner than I thought.

She nodded and took my hand in hers, “I know this situation is tough, on both of you and I know even if he wont admit it you’ve probably made a few more adjustments than he’s had to in the past month or so, and that might not be totally fair but I have to say thank you for not breaking his heart and just leaving him out to dry,” Lynn said than padded my hand and moved hers off the table as our food arrived.

Taking a drink of my soda after I had ate part of my sandwhich, I looked up at Lynn and said, “I don’t want to come off as a bad person, and I don’t want him or you to think that I feel like this was all his fault or anything, and I know that even though it seems like I’ve made more adjustments he’s made a lot to, he let me move into his room, share his space, gave me this when he didn’t have to,” I said ending softly as I looked at the ring.

“What’s on your mind,” Lynn asked as she dipped a fry in her ketchup.

I tapped my foot on the floor of the diner as I did my finger on the table, yeah I was nervous again what else was new.

“Why did Justin feel the need to give this to me, to write what he wrote on the inside of it, if,” I took a breath and willed myself not to cry as I thought of the ring and looked at it again than back a Lynn who had a soft smile on her face.

I didn’t know what to say after that and stayed slient after a moment, Lynn cleared her throat, “You wanna know that if this was just a game, or whatever it is, than why does it feel so real, why did he make it real with that,” She asked.

I looked at her with sorrow in my eyes as I thought for second.

“Does this, “ I said fingering my ring finger.

“Make it real,” I asked and she just shrugged.

Did the symbol of the ring, the factor that he had given it to me when this wasn’t suppose to stay forever, that this wasn’t real it was just a way to keep our lifes moving on with out the roll coaster breaking down.

Why was it at the same time I thought that yes it made it real, at the same time I knew in my heart it didn’t, in one way or another.

--

After the heated or at least emotionally disccusion about me and Justin was cleared away me and Lynn actually talked about random stuff and just laughed and had a good time as we window shopped around at local outlets and bought a few things.

Coming home later that night I was surprised when I spelt food cooking in the kitchen.

“He’s making his Grandfather’s sausage gumbo,” Lynn smiled as I placed my things on the living room table.

As she came over to me I smiled, “Thank you Lynn, I,” was all got out when she hugged me and patted my back.

“Nothing to it hun, just promise me this,” she said and felt me nod.

“If you might have to break his heart, do it gently its already fragile,” she said softly as she let me go and headed up stairs, and smiled to me one last time before she disappeared down the hall to her room to pack.

I felt myself breath in deep as I listened to what she had said, I honestly didn’t want to break his heart, and I didn’t want to have mine broken either.

Smelling the room again I walked to the kitchen and giggled a little bit as I saw him moving around to his own beat as he had an apron around his waist and dropped some spices into the pot.

“Should I be scared,” I asked with a teasing tone to my voice as he jumped I guess not realizing I was there but turn to look at me as he realized what I said and pointed his spoon at me with a look before he turned back to stir the pot.

I didn’t move for a second till Justin spoke after a second and pulled a spoon of Gumbo out of the pot.

“Come here and taste this,” he said as he waved his free hand towards him and kept the spoon over the pot as it dripped.

“You wanna make sure it has enough poision in it,” I questioned and he gave me a strange look before he chuckled.

“If I wanted to posion you I wouldn’t make this big a pot nor put it in a family recipie,” he said and I laughed a little as I stood next to him.

“Closer I don’t want to drip this on the floor,” he said eyeing his two dogs who laid under the kitchen table just waiting for food to drop.

Moving his body slight way from the stove he pulled me in front of him and held the spoon to my lips as I opened them.

Taking in mostly rice and a sausage piece I chewed and while it spicy like gumbo was it was like mouth watering good.

Looking up as I swallowed I saw him eye me with the spoon still in the air.

“More please,” I said like a kid and opened my mouth to which he only stuck the spoon back into the pot and took another spoonful out and before he put it towards me he blew on it softly making me stare at him.

When I went to open my mouth and take the second bite all of a sudden the spoon moved and he ate it with a chuckle as I pushed him.

“Jerk,” I said and he only laughed more as he placed the spoon down and grabbed another one to stir it with as his other hand was placed against my hip.

“So it was good huh,” he asked me as he continued to stir and I nodded.

“Today with my mom too,” he questioned and I looked up at him and saw the question look in his eyes.

Licking my lips I nodded as I softly replied, “Yeah, everything is good and look I’m sorry for today its just,” I started into my apology as he shook his head.

“Don’t explain it, ok I understand and I’m sorry too,” he said.

I nodded as I bit my lips again and than sighed and looked towards the backyard.

Feeling him pull me closer to him I rested my head agasint his shoulder as he put a couple more spices in the pot stirred it one more time and placed a lid on it.

“Just got to wait another ten minutes to let some of the water drain,” he explained as he let go of my hip and stepped away to wash his hands.

I turned to move out of the kitchen when the water stopped and had gotten into the dining area when heard him.

“I wanted to know,” he said, making me turn around and look at him as he dried his hands on his towel than swung it over his shoulder and came towards me.

“Wanted to know what,” I asked.

“If what happened was because we weren’t thinking, because of being drunk,” he said using my line from earlier.

“That’s what I kissed you,” he said a second later when he realized I didn’t know what he meant.

I nodded and looked at the floor than up to him, “I can understand that,” I said as I licked my lips.

“You wondered the same thing,” he questioned and I nodded, “I guess that’s probably why I kissed you back,” I said.

“You don’t know,” he asked.

I threw my hands up in the air as I shrugged, “That’s the only thing I’m sure of when it comes to this,” I told him.

I was looking at the floor after my outburst when I felt his hands placed on my shoulders.

“You know what I know,” he asked and I shook my head still looking down.

He pulled my chin to look up at him.

“If we work on this together, if were honest than no matter what happens, it will be ok,” he said and than rubbed his thumb on my cheek.

I nodded softly and let him pull me into a hug placing my hands around his neck I felt him rub my lower back.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered and I felt him shake his head.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, were in this together just remember that,” He said running his hand down the back of my head.

“Ok,” I said softly and just squeezed him a little tighter.

Sooner than I expected Justin pulled away from me, “Gotta check the gumbo,” he smiled and laughed and I nodded as he squeeze my arm and than headed back to the pot.

Watching him take a taste of it again I jumped when Lynn spoke right next to me, not even realizing she was there, she looked at me with a smile as she said , “Is it ready?”

We watch him nibble on the bite a little as he titled his head up like he was in deep thought and than took another bite.

“Come on Chef Timberlake,” I said with a laugh making Lynn chuckle as he just started to laugh and than moved and took bowls out of the cabinets on the other side of the room.

“Could you slice the loaf of bread up,” I heard Justin ask his mom as she came over to taste it from the pot before he could stop her but laughed when he tried to stop her and she slapped him like he was the one doing the taste testing.

She nodded as she pulled the French bread out of its back and took a knife from the knife block on the counter and started to slice it up.

“Nicole come here,” Justin said as he poured the last bowl of gumbo and set it on the counter next to the stove.

Walking over to him I jumped when he pulled me to him and kissed my temple but than placed his finger on my cheek and I felt gumbo sauce transfer from it to my cheek.

“Justin,” I exclaimed as I turned around to look at him with shock and he just laughed.

“You think that’s funny,” I asked him and he just nodded.

I went to put my finger in a bowl of gumbo when he pulled me tighter against him, “I don’t think so,” he said.

“Its only fair,” I said.

“Tough,” he laughed and when I shook my head at him he just chuckled some more, than took his mouth to my cheek and I felt him lick the sauce off it.

I turned to look at him with my eyebrows raised and he just mocked my face before he kissed my nose and than took a bowl with his free hand and handed it to is mom as she placed the basket of bread on the dining room table and came back and took one and the one she handed to him with a smile at us.

Pulling my hand as he grabbed the last bowl I and watched Lynn pour three glasses of milk as I was lead to the table Justin said, “Eat it while its hot.” Placing the bowl in his hand at the table as he pulled the chair in front of it out and sat me in than sat at the one next to that and as we all dug in I laughed and could keep the smile off my face.