Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
    

The sun's up...the sky is an amazingly clear shade of blue, and I'm completely giddy.  I'm sure I'm acting and sounding like something out of a Disney movie, but I just don't care. There's nothing in this world that can ruin my good mood right now, and it's all because of him.    

I can't even begin to describe how happy it made me, to hear him say he loved me. Maybe I didn't exactly go about it the right way...but I had to know how he'd react. I had to make sure I wasn't the only one with all of these intense feelings.     

It may not have been conventional...but it worked, and that's all that matters to me.     

That amazing, gorgeous man loves me.     

Charlie could call right now,and fire me. My credit rating could plummet. Someone could steal my car, and none of it would matter...because he loves me.     

Trace has been making comments about how overly affectionate we've been toward each other, but I just can't help it.  I don't think I've ever been this happy, and I can't keep it to myself.    

His arms circle my waist from behind, and he pulls me against him. "This is fun and all...but I think we need to go back to our cabin."    

His voice is low in my ear and a chill runs down my spine. Now, I'm sure it's customary for a couple who's just said they loved each other to actually do the deed, but I was just way too tired last night. I really wanted to, but I probably would have fallen asleep during, and I don't even want to imagine what kind of fit Justin would have thrown about that.     

So, we fooled around for awhile before we both finally crashed. This morning would have been our next option, but Trace, banging on our door at eight A.M put a stop to that. So, Justin took a cold shower, we got dressed, and came to the lake.     

It's been really nice to lay around, doing nothing, but I can already tell I have one hell of a sunburn, and I'm sure whatever Justin has in mind will be much more enjoyable, so I'm inclined to agree with him, but I'll let him sweat it out a little.    

"Oh really? And why is that?" I giggle when he lets out a grunt and tightens his hold on me.    

"Because I said so. Tell Laur and Trace we'll meet them for dinner." He lets me go, then turns and saunters up to the cabin.     

I don't know if people have ever really noticed it or not...but for a skinny guy, Justin has a really nice ass.     

I'm not trying to brag or anything, but my boyfriend is incredibly good looking. He has those amazing, clear blue eyes, that seem to lighten and darken with his mood.    

I absolutely love his mouth, too. He's got the most perfect, pink, pouty, kissable lips in the world.     

He has this really great balance between masculinity and sensitivity. He knows when he needs to take care of me, but he also knows when I need him to just listen.    

I mean, he's not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, but even with his little quirks, mood swings and tendency to let his ego take over, he's still a really good guy. He's probably the best guy I've ever been with.     

I still have my doubts sometimes, just based on his track record. But, so far...he's doing everything he can to erase those doubts. I'm really proud of him and the way he's stepped up for me. He's proved he's committed to making this work, and I really couldn't ask for anything else.     

Lauren sets her fishing pole down, and slowly strolls up to me, her hands tucked into her pockets. There's a strange smile on her face and I'm guessing she knows something's up. She stands beside me, and elbows me a few times before she finally says something.         

"Anything you care to share?"    

"Ooh...nice rhyme." I giggle when she rolls her eyes and shoves me jokingly.    

"Anyway...I know what's going on." She says in a sing song voice, a knowing smile planted on her lips. "You guys did the whole 'I love you' thing."    

I scrunch up my nose and let out a sigh. "Are we really that obvious?"    

She shrugs and studies my face for a few minutes. "It's not even how you're acting...it's how you guys have been looking at each other all morning. It's just...that look, ya know? The one that says everything you can't say with words."    

She doesn't get near enough credit for it, but Laur is probably one of the smartest people I know. She's one of those wise beyond her years types, but she's not over the top about it. She calls things as she sees them, and has this amazing ability to read people.  I swear, sometimes, I think she knows what I'm thinking, before I do.     

"Just...be careful, Al. I know everything's great now...you're together all the time, and he's totally focused on you, but in a couple months...that's going to change completely. If you were still working for him, maybe I wouldn't be as concerned, but he's going to be a million miles away and you'll be at home. I don't see him cheating or anything, but it's going to be really tough. And now...thanks to Lynn...you guys have this little bit of pressure on you about the whole baby thing."    

"I know...but I think we'll be ok." I nod. "He's not the guy he was a year ago, I know it'll suck for awhile, but we'll get used to it, then we'll get through it. And the baby stuff, is a non-issue. It's too soon...neither of us are anywhere near ready...it's completely out of the question."    

"Thank god...we don't need a little Justin quite yet." She chuckles. "Looks like you better go." She waves at Justin, who's standing on the porch, glaring at me. "Go. Have fun. We'll see you at dinner." She winks, then jogs back down to the dock to stand beside Trace.    

I know she's right...I've been agonizing over it for weeks, but for this weekend..real life is going to take the back seat.     

We're here to have fun and relax. We can worry about reality later.

*********************************************************   

Justin's mad. Well...beyond mad, really. Furious, might be a better term.     

I feel awful. Everything was going fine. This day has been pretty much perfect.     

We spent the afternoon laying around, watching TV and just being lazy. It was really great. We talked about the album, his ideas for the tour, how we plan to keep this relationship on track while he's gone. It was a really good talk, and we needed to have it.     

We're both really happy with where this seems to be headed, and we're going to do everything possible to keep it going.     

Every two weeks, I'll use my days off to fly out and see him, and any time he has atleast two days off in a row, he'll come home. We're both positive it will work, and as long as we're both willing to put in the effort...we'll be just fine.     

We went over to Lauren and Trace's cabin around seven to go to dinner. None of us were in the mood for anything too fancy, so we ended up at a small diner a few miles away from where we're staying.     

Everything was going fine. The food was fantastic, and we were having a really good time.    

Then, my phone started to ring.     

The first and second times, I didn't even bother to check it. When it rang a third time, I relented and checked the caller I.D.    

It was Charlie.     

I figured he'd leave a message, and I could call him back later, but when it rang a fourth time, I couldn't ignore it anymore. I excused myself from the table, and headed outside to answer it.     

I've been on this damn phone for the last half an hour.     

Apparently the entire computer system in the office crashed, and Charlie lost all of the schedules I'd typed up for the four days I'd be gone, along with all the information regarding the shoots he'd be on. Thank God I brought my palm pilot, otherwise he'd be completely screwed.     

I've been rattling off all the information I have, to him, and he's having to write every bit of it down.     

"Seriously Ally...you're major saving my ass here...I owe you one."    

"It's nothing...I can come back if you really need me..."    

"It'd be great...but I can't make you do that. It'll be fine...I think."         

I can't help but laugh. I can clearly hear the stress in his voice, and I'm beginning to feel really bad about taking this time off. I went against my better judgement when I agreed to it, and of course...it's coming back to bite me in the ass.     

The door to the diner opens, and I look up to find Justin staring at me. The look on his face says it all....he's major pissed. His brow is furrowed, and his mouth is set into a tight, thin line. This is so not good.    

"When does your flight get in Monday?"    

"Umm...9 ish...I think. Why?"    

"Well...with it being the weekend...we can't get anybody here to fix this shit until Monday afternoon...do you think you could come in?"    

"Oh yeah...that won't be a problem. What time do you want me there?"    

Justin throws his hands up in the air, before yanking the door back open and storming inside.     

I get why he's mad...but he has to understand. His career has interfered with countless things in his life...he has to know he's not the only one who's job is important to them.     

There were millions of times that I had to cancel plans to do something for him...this isn't any different.     

I know I don't have any real reason to be mad, but his temper tantrum is wearing thin on my nerves, and I can feel a migraine quickly building up.        

"Just as soon as you can get here. There's no telling when they'll actually show up to straighten this mess out."    

"Alrighty...I'll be there."    

"Great...thanks Ally...You have no idea how much I appreciate it." He lets out a sigh of relief. "Sorry I had to interrupt your weekend...I just didn't know what to do."    

"Charlie...it's fine, really."    

"Alright...well...sorry again, and I guess I'll see you Monday."    

"Sounds good." I snap the phone shut and take a deep breath before heading back inside the diner.     

Just as I reach the table, our waiter is bringing back the change, and the three of them get up. Justin brushes past me without a word, and Lauren gives me a sympathetic smile.    

"You're ready to go, right?"    

I glance down at my half full plate, and frown. I wasn't exactly finished eating...but suddenly my appetite is completely gone.    

"Yeah...let's go." I sigh and follow Lauren and Trace out of the restaurant. Justin is already in the driver seat of the escalade with the engine running. Just great.     

The ride back to the cabins is spent in dead silence. As soon as we park, Lauren and Trace hop out, say their good night and hurry inside.     

Justin storms into our cabin, throws his keys down on the table and heads to the kitchen.    

In a way, I can understand that he'd get mad...but I think he's over reacting, just a tad. I'd like to talk to him, but when he's like this, there is absolutely no reasoning with him until his anger subsides.   

Right now, there's really no telling when that'll be. All I can really do, is wait it out.     

He re-enters the living room, and glares at me. "So, do I start packing now, or can I atleast wait until morning?"    

I give him an indifferent shrug, and don't even bother to look at him. "Why pack now? We aren't leaving until Monday."    

Shock registers on his face for a split second, but it's quickly replaced with the angry stare I've been getting since we left the diner.     

"Then why the hell were you on the phone so long?"    

"The computers at the office crashed and we lost all of our files. I keep everything on the computers, as well as my palm pilot. Charlie called to get the things he'd need for the next two days."    

"And let me guess...you're going to go running back into work as soon as we get home." He rolls his eyes and starts to pace the floor. "This is exactly why I didn't want you bringing all of that shit. I knew he'd find some way to have you worrying about that fucking job...giving you this weekend off was just a way to make you feel guilty, so that you'd come running anytime he asks."    

He sounds completely disgusted with me, and I almost want to slap him. He's being a complete prick, for absolutely no reason. He knew damn well that Charlie might need to get a hold of me this weekend. When I explained it to him before we left, he said he'd understood. This doesn't make any sense, and I don't know why he's having such a hostile reaction to it.    

"Justin...don't even. You know my job is important."     

He rolls his eyes and laughs bitterly. "Oh yeah Al...the place can't function without you."    

Now, he's just being mean. He's deliberately trying to start a fight, and as much as I hate to admit it...he's probably going to get exactly what he wants. Never in my life, did I expect him to belittle me, or my job.     

"All I asked for, was one weekend. One weekend to spend time with you. One weekend for us, before I go back to work. One weekend where I didn't have to hear about Charlie Walters every five damn minutes."    

"Well gee Justin...I'm so sorry I have a real job. Us normal folk can't drop everything and fly across the fucking country whenever we feel like it. I have responsibilities Justin...Charlie was being nice when he gave me this time off, and don't you dare accuse him of trying to do anything other than that."    

He scoffs and rolls his eyes again. "You think I don't have responsibilities? Do you know how many people's livelihoods depend on me? I have fans who pay damn good money to see me....I have the whole damn world on my back."    

"Oh yeah..those screaming 12 year olds really matter to you... You couldn't give a shit less about those people, and you know it. As long as Justin gets what he wants, nothing else matters."    

I could kill him right now. I really, really could. He just keeps pushing, and pushing and I'm getting dangerously close to my breaking point. It's almost unbelievable that someone like him, could get upset over the demands of a job, when his has taken it's toll on countless lives. A lot of people have had to make a lot of sacrifices because of him and his career, and they were all more than happy to do it, myself included.     

I'm not saying he can't be upset that my job is time consuming, but he has absolutely no right to stand there and berate me for it.    

"You know what?...I want you out of that job and back as my PA."    

"Well, that's just too damn bad, now isn't it? I'm not quitting. The whole fucking world doesn't revolve around you, Justin. How would you feel, if I sat here whining about the fact that you're going on tour soon? How about...I quit my job, when you quit yours."    

"Don't be ridiculous. I can get you out of there...and you know I can. Don't make me do it, Ally."    

I raise an eyebrow at him, and he stares me down. He's challenging me, but I'm not backing down. I'm not the kind of girl who's going to let her boyfriend control her. Whether he likes it or, Justin's going to have to accept that.     

I just can't wrap my head around this, at all. What the hell is his problem? This can't just be about how much I work...he's being way too irrational. There's more to this, and I'm going to find out what it is, even if it means we'll be screaming at each other all night.     

"What is this really about?"    

"Your obsession with your God damn job...what do you think it's about?"    

"No it's not, Justin. Don't stand there and lie to me."    

"I don't have any reason to lie." He throws his hands up in defense. "All you can ever talk about is Charlie Walters and how fucking great he is, and I'm tired of it. For two weeks it's been Charlie this, and Charlie that. The sun doesn't shine out of the guys ass, Ally."    

"Oh my God..." My hand flies to cover my mouth, and it finally dawns on me, what his real problem is.    

He's jealous.     

He can't stand the fact that more of my time is devoted to Charlie, than him. Maybe he's just too used to being my sole focus. For five years, my world revolved around all things Justin Timberlake. It doesn't anymore, and he can't handle it.     

"You're...you're jealous." I sputter out.     

His eyes widen a bit, and he quickly shakes his head. "Please. Like I have anything to be jealous of."    

"You shouldn't be...but you are. Oh my God. Justin..grow up. He's my boss. What the hell do you think is going to happen?"    

I never should have told him about my first encounter with Charlie. That night, I knew, just by the look on his face, that it bothered him. If it hadn't been for Lauren and her big damn mouth, I probably wouldn't have ever mentioned it to him.    

I mean, really...what's the big deal? So what, if I though the guy was attractive. I see good looking people every single day. He's being completely ridiculous about this and now...I can't help but wonder if there aren't some bigger issues at hand here.    

For starters...this seems to be about trust. I know he has trouble trusting people...but he has no reason to not trust me. Not once, have I lied to him.  Maybe, it's because of Britney and the damage she caused. Maybe he just has this fear that anyone he gets close to, is going to end up hurting him. But, he has to know that I'm not going to do that. I don't think I could live with myself if I did.    

But, I think the biggest problem here...is his insecurity. It's hard to believe that one of the seemingly most confident men in the world, could ever be insecure about anything, but he is. When he isn't on stage, or in front of a camera...he's just a guy from a small town. It's like he leaves his confidence on the stage, and becomes a completely different person when he steps off of it.     

"Do you not trust me?"     

His face softens, and he sits down next to me. "I completely trust you, Al." He says quietly. "It's him, I don't trust. I mean seriously...have you looked in a mirror lately? You're fucking beautiful."    

I can't stop the small smile that appears on my face. He may not be the most eloquent person in the world, but even when he's being an idiot...he knows how to redeem himself. If he keeps it up, I just might forget this whole thing ever happened.    

It's true people...flattery will get you everywhere.    

"You haven't even met him, Justin. He's a good guy. And, he's just my boss. Nothing more. You can't honestly believe that there's more to it than that."    

"I don't know..you just talk about him so damn much...it's like you think he could walk on water or something. 90 percent of your time, is spent with him. I'm leaving soon...what if he sees me being gone, as an opportunity to move in on you?"    

"Justin...that's not going to happen. I meant it when I said I love you. I don't want or need anybody else. That's not going to change just because you're on tour."    

He laces his fingers through mine, and presses his lips to the back of my hand. It's a small, simple gesture, but it's perfect.    
    

"I'm being a jackass, right?"    

"Yeah...you are." I smirk at him, and he finally smiles. "But, I'm kind of used to it."    

"I'm sorry, Al."    

"I know." I smile, and kiss him quickly. "Just don't let it happen again...and I promise you won't be hearing about Charlie anymore, ok?"    

"It's not even that." He says and lets out a sigh. "I want to know what you're doing when I'm not around...I just...I don't know...I don't know what the hell I'm talking about."    

"I get it." I nod. "You don't know him, and it makes you nervous. I understand... but you've got to trust me, Justin. I know a lot of people have fucked you over...but I'm not one of them, and I don't intend to be."    

He grins, and kisses me slowly. When he pulls back, he rests his forehead against mine, and looks me dead in the eyes.     

"How do you put up with me?"    

I giggle and shrug. "You're cute."    

"Oh...so you're using me for my looks?"    

"Something like that." I grin when he rolls his eyes and shakes his head.    

In a way, I guess it was a stupid fight. But, I think all of that needed to come out. If it hadn't, there's no telling what would have happened if he left, feeling all of this.     

I usually try to avoid conflict, but this needed to happen. I'm just glad that for once, he pulled his head out of his ass, and listened.    

He's a typical male. Refuses to believe he's ever wrong, and will stop at nothing to prove just how right he is.    

I guess, he's growing up. We all have been, lately. Trace has calmed down considerably, Lauren is much more focused than she ever was and me...well...I don't really know. I've always considered myself to be a little more mature than most people my age...but it's kind of hard to see changes in yourself.    

We're all in our mid 20's...maybe this should have happened a long time ago, but we've never done anything the way most people do.     

People have always said growing up sucks, but right now...it doesn't seem so bad.  

"Collide"-Howie Day