I'm walking on clouds now
And the sky is falling on down
Well I don't wanna wake up if I'm dreaming
Don't think I'll ever get out of my bed
It's like every moment brings a surprise
And my eyes won't open
I feel something's different
Goodbye my fears
I feel that we have parted
The possibilities keep walking in on me
And it feels so strange, I guess that's change
It's alright
The possibilities keep walking in on me
 

I step into the club, and almost immediately, the scent of smoke, alcohol and sweat hits my nose. These places have always had this really distinct smell, that's uniquely their own. It's not a bad smell...but it's not exactly good either.    

Trace appears in front of me, virtually out of nowhere, and shoves a drink in my hand. I take a whiff, and grin.    

I don't recall when, or how our obsession with Jack and Coke started, but we're at the point where neither of us can hardly stand to drink anything else.    

"Where have you been, man? Johnny's been waiting on your ass for like an hour." He shouts over the music.    

"Had to make the grand entrance." I roll my eyes and take a sip of my drink. I think Trace is the only person who's even realized I'm here. Everyone else seems a little too focused on getting trashed.    

I've always thought these release parties were kind of a joke. Sure, it's nice to celebrate the fact that my work is out to the public, but that's not the point of these things.     

It's all about the industry folks getting together to brag about how much money they stand to make. It also gives radio stations an opportunity to hold some ridiculous contest for invites to the party.     

I don't know why...but a lot of those contest winners end up being pretty skanky chicks, who spend the evening trying to molest me on the dance floor.         

"Where's Ally?"    

Trace shrugs and takes a large gulp of his drink. "She called a couple hours ago and said her flight had just gotten in, and that she was headed to the hotel to change, then she'd be here."    

I know it's childish, but I can't stop the pout that takes over my face. I haven't seen my girlfriend in almost two months. I've been doing the promotion thing like crazy, and I've been in New York almost the whole time.     

Every chance we get, we're on the phone, but it isn't the same. Just hearing her voice, doesn't even compare to seeing her face everyday, or having her lying next to me at night.     

I knew I'd miss her. I guess I just didn't realize it'd be this much. I've been completely miserable without her, and according to Trace, I've been a total dick about it.        

It's just so hard to not have her there with me. For five years, she's been at my side constantly. It's just way too weird without her.     

"Well, holy shit...look who just walked in." Trace yells excitedly and nods toward the door.     

Standing in the doorway, is the one person I'd really been hoping to see tonight, but I wasn't 100 percent sure he'd be here. He finally spots us and weaves through the crowd.    

"J-fuckin-C!" Trace shouts and pulls him into a hug. I think Trace needs to be kept far away from the open bar. He's in that overly affectionate stage of drunkenness. It's all good and well, but I know what the next stage is, and I'm not ready for belligerent Trace quite yet.     

"Hey man..glad you could make it."    

"Yeah. I am too." Jc smiles, then looks around slowly. "Anybody else here?"    

"Johnny's upstairs, kissing ass." Trace rolls his eyes and lets out a snort. "Joe and the wife are around here somewhere. I lost Lauren at the bar." He frowns, then finishes off his drink. "I need a refill...guess I'll go find her."    

Jc and I both chuckle as Trace stumbles off, running into people the entire way.     

"So, how's it going? You excited about all of this?"        

"Yeah man...It's cool, ya know? They let me do my own thing, and I'm really happy with how it turned out."    

"That's cool. You definitely deserve it."    

I really wish I had more time to spend with the guys from the group. It never really hits me until I see one of them for the first time in several months, but I really miss them. I mean, I guess I'm mostly to blame for our demise, but nobody knew how Justified would go over.    

It was a huge risk, and I just got lucky.     

I know we all walked away on good terms, but sometimes, I can't help but wonder if they all hold some resentment toward me. On the rare occasions that I do get to see them, it's awkward and strained. We spend the whole time making small talk, until one of us finds an excuse to take off.    

It never used to be like that. I used to be able to talk to any one of them, for hours on end. We never had to stare at each other until one of us could come up with something to talk about.    

Even if it is my fault, it still sucks.     

"So, what have you been up to man? I haven't seen you in forever."    

"Eh...you know me." He shrugs and laughs lightly. "Working on a record...doing some producing and writing. I gotta stay busy. I heard you and Ally finally hooked up."    

"Yeah...it's been about six months now."    

"That's really cool, man. I always kinda saw it coming. Took you long enough though." He chuckles and shakes his head. "Anyway...I'm gonna head up to the bar, so I'll catch you later."    

"Yeah...thanks for coming." I call out as he disappears into the crowd.    

I kind of meander around for awhile, thanking people for coming, and kissing ass when I run into anyone from the label. I haven't got the slightest idea where any of my friends are, so I head to the bar.    

I'm actually kind of surprised at the turn out for this thing. I figured there'd be a lot of people here, but I wasn't expecting this. The place is packed, and it's almost impossible to move around without nearly knocking someone over.    

I've got to admit though, I'm more than ready to get the listening portion of this thing started. I'm really anxious to see how people react, especially Ally.    

She's heard a couple of songs from the album, but has yet to hear it in it's entirety. This album is completely different from anything I've ever done. Honestly, I don't think there's a bad track on it, but it's not my opinion that matters.     

Maybe I'm just not used to being back in the swing of things yet, but I feel so out of place here. All of the reasons I took so much time off are hitting me really hard. I was just so tired of all the bullshit. The Hollywood lifestyle turned me into someone I never wanted to be, and I had to get out.    

Maybe that time off really did change me, because sitting here now, watching all the "beautiful people" kiss ass, makes me want to bolt out the door.     

Johnny says it's just nerves, and he's probably right. I damn near had a nervous breakdown before Justified came out. I guess it should be different this time around. I should be used to being out on my own...but it never gets any easier. Honestly, the fact that it's all on me, makes it that much more nerve wracking.    

I finally spot Lauren and Trace seated at a table and I make my way over toward them. There's another man, who I've never seen, leaning over the table, talking a mile a minute. Lauren looks completely disinterested in whatever he's saying, but Trace is practically hanging on his every word.        

Judging by the way he's dressed, I'm assuming he's in some band Trace listens to, or something. The invitations for this thing clearly stated that formal attire wasn't an option, but I guess this guy didn't get the memo.     

His black jeans are ripped in several different places, and his definition of formal seems to be a wrinkled, black button up shirt.     

Who the hell does this guy think he is, Johnny Cash?    

I finally push my way through the crowd and get to the table. Right away, Lauren pulls me down next to her.    

"Thank God you found us...these two are boring me to tears." She rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her wine. "They've been talking about bands, nobody but them has ever heard of."    

"Still no sign of Ally?"        

"No...but don't worry. She'll be here. She's probably just trying to look all perfect for you." She giggles.    

I can't help but smile at that thought. Ally's never been the type to spend hours in front of the mirror, doing her hair or applying make up, but when she really wants to make an impression, she puts a lot of effort into that stuff, and it more than pays off.     

Really...she doesn't have to try to impress me. She could show up here, in her pajamas, her hair a mess, and I'd still think she was gorgeous.     

I guess it's just that natural beauty thing people always talk about.    

"Well, speak of the devil." Lauren chuckles as my head whips around toward the front of the club.    

To say she looks incredible, would be a terrible understatement. She looks....just wow.     

Her hair's a little longer than it was a few months ago, and she obviously spent a good deal of time curling it, so that it falls in long waves around her shoulders. My eyes travel up and down her body as she dodges people left and right, trying to fight her way to our table.     

I could be wrong, but it looks like she's lost a few pounds as well. Not that she needed to, but it's almost impossible to not notice it, with the way her dark blue cocktail dress is hugging her in all the right places. I've never seen that dress before, so it must be new, but I'm definitely not complaining. She looks damn good in it.     

She finally reaches the table, and barely even glances at me. Instead, her attention is completely focused on the guy who's been babbling at Trace for God knows how long.    

"Charlie...what are you doing here?"    

Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me. Is this seriously happening?    

"Hey Al."He smiles. "I flew out kind of last minute. Johnny thought I should be here, since I'll be on the shoot for the next single."    

Well, isn't that just fuckin great. Not only has this ass ruined my long awaited reunion with the woman I love, but he's going to destroy my second video, as well.     

I'm convinced, now more than ever, that God hates me. He's given me money and success to make up for the fact that he screws me over in my personal life, on a daily basis.     

I know...I sound like a whiney little bitch, but right now...I don't care.     

"That's great." Ally grins, and finally decides to acknowledge my existence. "Jus...did you hear that? We get to work together." She seems so excited about it, and it's really hard to be mad at her.     

"Yeah...that's awesome." I force a smile as she sits down next to me. I kind of wish she and Charlie would take off to the bar or something. I'd really like to bitch about this interesting little development for awhile.    

Over the last few months, Ally and I have had our fair share of arguments, most of them about Charlie. It all kind of started with our big blow up in Memphis.    

I mean, they haven't all been major screaming matches or anything, and it's not like it's a constant thing, but it does seem to be a growing problem.     

She just...I can't even explain it. She talks about him like she's never known anyone as great as he is, it's like he's the smartest, nicest person she's ever met, or how he's so easy to work for.    

I mean, I completely expected them to become friends. With Lauren, Trace and I gone, she's pretty much on her own in L.A and I know it has to suck.    

Maybe, I'm just reading too much into it. As far as I know, she hasn't spent any time with him, outside of work. But, I have a feeling it's not far off.    

And really...I'm ok with that. I don't want her to sit at home every night, feeling miserable. I want her to go out and do stuff.        

But, of all the people in California, why does it have to be with that guy?    

Ally thinks I'm crazy, but I know his type. Charlie Walters may have my girlfriend fooled, but I can see right through him.    

He's charmed Ally into thinking he's this great guy, and I'm sure that's part of the game. He's going to pull that knight in shining armor shit, until he gets what he wants, then he'll disappear.    

I know, because I've done it. I've been that guy before. I don't have to know Charlie Walters, to know what he's about.     

However, I know Ally's way too smart for that stuff, so he's really barking up the wrong tree. Plus, as cocky as it sounds...that girl is in love with me. He needs to move onto his next victim, and leave my woman alone. He really is just wasting his time.     

I sling an arm over her shoulders, and she looks over at me, a smile planted on her face. "How was your flight?"    

"Not too bad." She shrugs and leans into me. "Sorry it took me so long to get here."    

"It's cool. You look amazing."    

She smiles shyly and rolls her eyes. "Thanks."    

The music cuts off, and before I know it, Johnny Wright's voice is booming throughout the club. This is exactly what I've been waiting for. He makes a brief introduction, then the first track on the album begins to pound through the building.    

Almost immediately, people are on their feet.  All of the nerves, the stress, and the fear, I've been feeling, vanish.     

The entire place is going nuts for the album, the woman I love, and my best friends are beside me.     

What else could I want, or need? 

**************************************************    

I want to go on record and say, this has been quite possibly the longest day of my life. We started bright and early, at four a.m, and I can safely say...as many times as you get up that early, it never gets any easier.     

There were several early morning radio interviews, followed by an appearance on the Today show. Then, of course, there was a press conference, a few more interviews, a photo shoot, TRL, then the release party.     

It's going on almost five a.m, and after nearly 25 hours of non-stop work, I'm ready to drop.     

However, Ally's here, so I won't be sleeping anytime soon. Hanging out with her is way more important than any amount of sleep.    

She's leaving sometime in the morning, and I'm not exactly sure when I'll get to see her again. We have a plan worked out for the tour, but as far as the promotion stuff goes, we just have to deal with the distance.     

As soon as we enter the room, she kicks off her heels and lets out a sigh of relief. "I hope you appreciated that...my feet are killing me."    

"Honestly Al...you could have worn a garbage bag, and I wouldn't have cared."     

She rolls her eyes and attempts to hide her smile. "Gee, thanks."    

"You know what I mean, but...you looked fantastic."    

"Good." She nods, a triumphant smile planted on her lips. She grabs a T-shirt from my bag and quickly changes, then crawls into bed.    

"So...umm...why was Charlie there tonight?"    

I know...I shouldn't bring it up. I'm just asking for a fight, and that's the last thing I want to spend our few hours together doing, but it's really starting to annoy me. It's like this guy is doing his damnedest to get involved in my life, and I don't like it.    

"Apparently Johnny asked him to be there." Ally shrugs and pulls her hair up. "Why?"    

"I was just curious. It seems a little weird that he just hops on a plane, and doesn't tell his assistant."         

I ease into bed next to her, and I can feel every muscle in my body relax, almost instantly. I didn't realize it before, but I ache from head to toe. You wouldn't think it, but running around all day really puts a strain on your body.     

"I'm not that kind of assistant." She says simply. "I don't have to know his every move, the way I did with you."    

"Makes sense." I nod, as she curls up next to me. "So, when does your flight leave?"    

"Nine or ten, I think." The tone of her voice changes, and it's impossible to ignore the sadness there.     

I know she hates this as much as I do, and I'm not trying to be a dick or anything...but she chose this. If she had stayed on as my PA, there wouldn't be an issue. She's the one who had to be all independent. I'd almost guarantee that just adds to how miserable she already feels.    

Realizing that something is your fault, is never easy.     

"I really hate this, ya know. I know it'll be easier once you're on the road...but I hate not seeing you everyday."    

"Oh, you have no idea." I chuckle and shake my head. "But, it'll be alright. We'll do what we can."    

She nods slowly, then looks up at me. "How did you do this with other girls? I mean...you always acted like you were fine, but Trace keeps saying what a pain in the ass you've been this time."    

"This time, it's you." I say simply and she grins.    

"No...seriously...like, with Britney...it wasn't like she could come see you whenever."    

"Well, my phone bill was through the roof, I know that much."  She giggles and rolls her eyes.    

I know we're both worried about this, but I just don't feel like getting into it. She's only here for a short period of time, and there are much more important things I'd rather be doing.     

I crawl on top of her, making sure to rest my weight on my hands and knees, instead of her legs. Her eyes lock with mine, and her lips crash against mine.    

I probably don't tell her anywhere near as much as I should, but I really do love her. I've never been with anyone who makes me feel even half of what she does.     

For a long time, it kind of freaked me out. It just didn't seem right to be so dependent on someone else to make me happy, but when I realized that she needs me, just as much as I need her, it made sense. And, there isn't anything wrong with that.     

It sounds stupid, but in a way, I'm jealous of Lauren and Trace.     

They're together virtually 24 hours a day. There's almost nothing that could come between them, and in a couple months...they'll be married.    

I know Ally and I aren't ready for marriage yet...but a small part of me really wishes we were. I've already made up my mind...and she's it for me.    

When I think about getting married, or having kids, or getting old, she's the woman I see by my side, through it all.    

And, I don't think I'd ever want to see anyone else. If all of those things aren't with her... then I don't think I can do them.

*****************************************************************    

"Dude...wake the hell up. You're never gonna believe this!" Trace practically shrieks as he bounds into our room.    

Ally quickly pulls the sheet up around her neck, and rolls away from me. I glance at the clock, and suddenly there's a very strong urge to strangle the life out of Trace. I've been asleep for roughly half an hour, and his midget ass, in here screaming like an idiot, has completely ruined it.     

"What the hell, man?" I ask angrily and rub my face, as he enters the bedroom.     

"Look, sorry if I interrupted the sex fest or whatever...but this shit's important!" He stomps his foot, and I have to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. He looks so much like a little kid right now. Hell, anytime he gets mad he looks, and acts like a child.    

"What's wrong?"    

"Lauren's replacement showed up this morning. She's leaving today. Johnny got her a seat on Ally's flight."    

"Wait...what?"    

"No fuckin joke, dude! Her and Johnny have had this shit planned for like, a month."    

This has to be a joke. There's no way, my manager, or my stylist, would go behind my back like this. Not to mention the fact, how could Lauren not tell Trace? She had to know he'd go completely ape shit.     

"Are you sure?"    

"She's packing her shit right now!" He squeaks.    

"Alright...calm down...I'll get dressed and call Johnny."    

"Hurry it the hell up, their flight leaves in two hours." He calls over his shoulder, as he practically flys from the room.

*************************************    

I spent 45 minutes on the phone with Johnny, and it was completely useless. I kind of expected it, but it still sucks.     

His standpoint was, that I was already well aware of the fact that Lauren and Trace, would both be leaving soon. It just so happens, that Lauren's replacement was able to start before Trace's.    

I knew all of this was coming, but I guess I just wasn't fully prepared. Everything is turning around, and I'm not so sure I like the way it's headed.    

The drive to the airport goes by quick, and before I know it, we're standing at the gate, and the final boarding calls are being made.        

Lauren and Trace look like they're about ready to kill each other, which is understandable. I get why Trace is mad. All she had to do, was tell him. Blind siding him with it, was pretty shitty.    

But, I kind of get why she did it. She knew he'd spend a month bitching, about not having her around, and it was probably just easier this way. Plus, she needs the time away. She has a wedding to finish planning, moving arrangements to complete. She's got a lot on her plate right now.    

Ally looks up at me, and tries to smile, but it comes across as more of a wince of pain.     

"I guess somebody should have told him, huh?"     

My eyes widen a bit, as I stare down at her. "You knew?"    

"Well...yeah. I helped them find the girl." She shrugs. "They swore me to secrecy. I wasn't even allowed to tell you."    

I feel like somebody just punched me in the gut. She was keeping something from me? I mean...I know it's not like it was some life altering secret...but I thought we were completely honest with each other. Kind of makes me wonder, what else is she keeping to herself?    

"Anyway...I gotta go." She kisses me quickly, then takes a step back. "I'll call you when we get home. Love you." She disappears down the walkway, and all I can do, is stand there.    

Just like that, she's gone. She's going back to L.A. Back to working her ass off, for a guy, who I'm positive, is trying to get in her pants.     

I was so sure everything would be ok. That she'd fight Charlie off, because she's mine and she loves me.     

But now that I know she could keep something, so small and stupid from me...what is she going to do when something big comes up?

"Possibilities"-Teddy Geiger