Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind
         

Two of my best friends on the planet are getting married. How fucking crazy is that? I mean...we ran around in diapers together.      

Hell, one time I watched Lauren eat a worm, while Trace made fun of her.         

They've been together almost four years, but there's still a small part of me that can't help being slightly weirded out by the whole thing.     

It's kind of stupid because they work really well together. They have the type of relationship that everybody wants, but never thinks they'll get. Where everything is perfect. No fights. No trouble communicating. No trust issues.     

I haven't seen either of them this happy in god knows how long, so it's cool. I want everyone around me to be happy.    

So, now that Lauren and Trace are knee deep in this wedded bliss shit, I can focus on finding Ally a man. Yes...I know that makes me sound like a woman, but I'm worried about the girl.     

I can't even remember the last time she had a date, much less an actual relationship. She always feeds me that "I just don't have time" bullshit, but I know it's a lie.     

If I have time to date, then she sure as hell does. I mean...does she think I'm too stupid to realize that her schedule revolves around mine?     

I guess I shouldn't be too concerned about Ally's love life...I mean, it's not like she's turning into a lesbian or anything. Just the other day her and Lauren were watching E! news and drooling over the guy from Maroon 5.     

I seriously doubt she'll be alone forever...she's a smart, attractive girl and she's hilarious to boot. Girls like that, don't stay single.    

I know what you're thinking...but you're wrong. Just because I can see the good qualities in my friend doesn't mean I'm in love with her. I could say all of those things about Lauren too.     

The fact is...I know my two best female friends are amazing women. And I'll beat the hell out of any guy who doesn't treat them as such. I'll even kick Trace's ass if I have to, but I don't really see that happening. He pretty much worships the ground Lauren walks on.     

How he ever convinced her to marry his midget ass, is beyond me.     

I guess I'm just a little worried that Ally is the only one of us who seems completely disinterested in dating. I mean...even I'm getting out there and playing the field. Even though I have no intention of getting into anything heavy for quite awhile.  It's much easier to be the guy who just doesn't give a shit.    

That way, I don't end up with some crazy bitch telling me she loves me, then screwing around behind my back.    

I'm looking out for number one, man.    

In a way, I guess it's kind of unfair for me to try pushing Ally into finding a man...I'm still messed up over a relationship that ended several years ago. I'm the last person who should be giving out love advice.    

"Hey space cadet...the movie's over." Lauren slaps my shoulder, jarring me out of my thoughts.     

A quick glance at the TV shows, that sure enough...The Bourne Identity is over, and I missed the entire last half an hour. I guess it doesn't really matter...it's not like I knew what the hell was going on anyway.     

Lauren and I have had our asses planted in front of the TV all day, while Trace and Al are off slaving at the label, hashing out the plans for my next album. I gotta admit...I've really enjoyed my time off, but I'm ready to get back to work.     

I've been tossing ideas around for a few months now, and I've filled at least three notebooks with stuff that's definitely got some potential.     

Now, it's just a matter of setting up the studio time and working around Tim's schedule. We decided almost a year ago that the next album would be me and him all the way. So it should be pretty amazing.        

"Justin! Have you heard anything I've said?" Lauren screeches at me and I can't help but laugh at her. "

Uhh...yeah?"    

"Oh good. So you're ok with what I'm planning then?" She arches an eyebrow at me and I swallow hard. This could be bad.    

Since the engagement party a month ago, Lauren has been busting her ass with wedding plans and the rest of us are just along for the ride.  Unfortunately, spending the day with Lauren has me kind of backed into a corner. She's been talking non stop and throwing out ideas, so if I answer anything wrong, it could be disastrous.         

"It's your wedding." I shrug. Good job J! Nice, neutral answer. I'm not as dumb as I look after all.     "

That's what I thought." She frowns and rolls her eyes. "Anyway...I was thinking it might be good to use Steven as the ring bearer...you think your Dad would be ok with that?"
    

"I don't see why not...but isn't he a little old for that?"    

"He's seven." Lauren gives me a dumb look. "Besides...Kaitlyn is eight, so it'll work perfectly. Can you call your Dad in the morning and ask him?"    

"Who the hell is Kaitlyn?"  This time, not only do I get the dumb look, but she slaps the back of my head.  "My neice. The flower girl, you idiot. God...you're worse than Trace with this stuff. I need Ally!" She whines pathetically, tossing her pen and paper on the table.     

"Honestly...what can I be expected to know about planning a wedding?"    

"Men are useless." She mutters, then disappears into the house.    

How did I get dragged into this shit? I'm the best man, not the maid of honor. I should be planning a crazy bachelor party...not helping the bride decide which centerpiece she likes better.    

I can't help but cringe at the realization I even know what a centerpiece is.  God..I really am turning into a woman.

************************************************************************   

I'm scared. No...terrified. It's stupid really. I was the one who got the ball rolling again. It was my idea to get back to work. Everyone told me I was doing the right thing, but now...now I don't know.     

Everything Ally and Trace worked out seems great...hell...it's exactly what I wanted, except for one small detail.     

As cocky as it sounds, the label worships me. I've made a lot of people insanely rich, which has given me the leeway to do pretty much whatever the hell I want, at least I'd thought so.     

With Justified...I did my own thing. Everything on that album just kind of flowed, and they ate it all up. They didn't make any demands...they took what I'd created and ran with it. But this time around, it's not going to be so easy.        

Everyone knows the tired ass story behind Cry Me A River. Honestly...I never wanted to release it as a single...but the potential for it was undeniable. As much as I didn't want to release it, I'd have been a fool not to, and the success of the song just proved it.    

Now...they want Cry Me A River part two. In other words...they want another Britney song, and frankly...I don't want to do it for a number of reasons.        

First off, I haven't spoken to the woman since the night I dumped her ass. I've spent three years avoiding her and it's worked. I'm finally at the point where I can go on with my daily life with little to no after effects of what she did to me.     

Secondly...I have nothing left to say about her. She cheated. I dumped her. I was miserable for two years. I've moved on, so what's left to say?    

And finally...I know why they want it. Sure, I've been out of the game for awhile...but I never expected to be a dollar sign when I came back.     

If I churn out another cheating bitch song that achieves even half the success of the first one, a lot of people stand to make a lot more money.    

I just don't want to go back there. I don't want to relive all of the bullshit I went through. No matter what anyone says, I loved that girl more than anything.     

Finding her screwing around damn near killed me, and I refuse to let myself fall back into that misery all over again.     

"You alright?"Ally eyes my suspiciously as she plops down on my bed. Trace didn't seem to see any issue with what the label was asking, but Ally...she gets it.     

"I'm fuckin great." I smile sarcastically and throw myself down next to her.     

"Ya know...getting all weird like this and thinking about it, is pretty close to giving them what they want. You said you don't want to think about all of that again...but I know you're already thinking about her. Write some crap ass song...they'll see it's terrible and figure the Britney well is dry...and give up."     

"That's not the point." I roll my eyes at her and sigh. Maybe I just won't do a second album.     

"Then exactly what is?"    

"The fact that they asked for it...that they said specifically they wanted another "Britney song." What kind of shit is that, man? Like there's some switch I'm supposed to turn off and on."    

"That's not really a point, Justin. Honestly...I think it might be good for you. It's no secret that you're still messed up about it...maybe there's still something in that twisted head of yours...write it down...get it out, and be done with this mess. You say you're over it...so write it." She shrugs.        

I really thought she was coming up here to defend my honor or something. She looked almost as pissed as I felt when Trace told me this was what the label wanted. But now...it's like she's siding with them, and I don't like it.     

You'd think people would be nice to the guy who signs their paychecks.     

"Seriously...take some time...clear your head and get it out of your system. Besides...I'm sure if you at least tried and they see it can't be done...they'll let it go. But, I think you should give it a shot...maybe it will finally get you past all of this nonsense and you can be normal again...not that you were ever normal, but normal for you." She smiles and shoves me playfully.     

"You're hilarious."     

In a way, I see where she's coming from. There's still some aspects of our break up that I never got over...and who knows...maybe writing it could help...but I'm not gonna force it. I'm going to let it just flow...like I've always done with my writing.     

"Call me crazy...but maybe that's your sign." Ally says suddenly. I hadn't even realized the TV was on until she said something.    

Needless to say, I was more than a little surprised by what I was seeing.    

"I can't believe she's marrying that idiot!" Ally yells, then erupts into a fit of giggles. "Aww..that poor girl. You remember him, don't you?"    

I study the scruffy looking guy on the screen, carefully, but I can't quite place him. He just looks...dirty, and I make it a point to avoid those types.     

"Should I?"    

"He only toured with you for six months."    

That's when it hit me. Kevin. Kevin Federline. He'd been one of the dancers on the Justified tour.    

He wasn't a bad guy, really. Tried to screw anything with tits..but I didn't have any problems with the dude. He did his job, so I couldn't complain.     

"He tried to get in my pants the whole tour." She was still giggling and I couldn't help but chuckle along with her.         

Maybe Ms. Spears would finally get what she had coming, and she'd deserve every bit of it. I guess karma really is a bitch.

*****************************************************************************   

I know it's stupid, but it's been a day and my head is still kind of spinning. Between all the bullshit with the label, and Britney's nonsense...sleep didn't come so easily to me last night, and so far...tonight's not looking so great either.    

I usually avoid all of the tabloid shit, like the plague. Buying into the lies and manipulation causes nothing but problems, but maybe I should have pulled my head out of the sand and been on the look out for anything involving my ex girlfriend.     

If I had...I wouldn't have been completely blind sided by the news of her marriage.    I know she's making a huge mistake, and it's gonna bite her in the ass one day.     

Ally, Lauren and Trace have all conveniently had ten tons of crap to do today, so I've been alone since I woke up. I know it's all Ally's doing. She thinks if I'm alone long enough, I'll work through all of this shit in my head and write a killer song.    

I don't really see it happening.    

Then again, maybe I'm just being stubborn. I mean really...what could it hurt? If whatever I do end up with,  blows, the label will get off my back and I can finish the album. If it turns out well...then I can add yet another hit song to my resume. It's a win-win situation.    

I really hate realizing Ally's right. 

"Over My Head"-The Fray