Someday baby, You and I are gonna be the ones
Good luck's gonna shine
Someday baby you and I are gonna be the ones
So hold on
We're headed for a better life
        

It's been three hours and 47 minutes since he walked out on me.

I haven't got a clue where he is or what he's doing, but he's pushing my nerves even closer to the edge, if that's possible.    

I can't really be mad at him. Justin doesn't handle surprises very well and I know he needs some time to process this whole thing. I'm sure he's shocked and scared but so am I, ya know?    

I'm not angry, but his selfishness is pretty irritating. I know this is going to have a major impact on him, but all he's really facing here is a lifestyle change. I'm the one who's going to get fat. I'll have to deal with backaches, sore feet, stretch marks and crazy hormones. My body is going to be put through nine months of hell and all he has to do is sit back and watch it happen.     

How is that fair?    

I probably should have waited until we got home to tell him, but watching him hold Noah just got to me for some reason. He looked so happy and I thought maybe it was a sign that he is ready to be a father.    

Clearly, I was wrong. He ran out of here so fast he damn near left skid marks.    

I mean, I kind of understand. We've both said so many times that we aren't ready, but running away doesn't solve anything. I learned that the hard way when he dumped me all those months ago. Taking off made me feel a little better, but it didn't do any good. Things just got worse from there.    

I just keep thinking about everything that's happened between us and how we got here. Honestly, until it actually happened, I never pictured myself with Justin. He may have been my best friend but I was smart enough to realize that he was meant to stay with those stick thin models or actresses and I would probably end up with some boring accountant, or alone.    

Being with him hasn't been easy, but I don't regret any of it. I may have fallen into the ultimate cliche, but it was worth it. I think the good kind of outweighs the bad with us, and as long as we've got each other to lean on, I think we can handle just about anything.     

"Hey." Lauren grins as she and Trace enter the room. She makes a beeline for Noah, sleeping in his crib, while Trace plops down into a chair in the corner. "How was he?"

"Perfect." I nod and smile as Lauren picks him up carefully then cradles him against her chest.     

As crazy as it sounds, I've been praying that I'll be even half the mother Lauren is. She's so careful with Noah and it's obvious to anyone that he's the center of her world. He was completely unexpected, but I think it's safe to say he's the best thing that's ever happened to her or Trace.    

I can only hope that the same will hold true for Justin and I.    

"Where the hell is J?" Trace asks after he takes a quick look around the room and realizes that Justin isn't anywhere in sight.    

"He..he went out." I shrug, hoping he won't push the issue.    

Unfortunately, I know my best friends all too well.    

"You guys have a fight or something?"

"Not exactly."        

I would love to tell them, just breakdown and spill my guts, but I won't allow myself to do that. Until I know that Justin and I are ok, I'm not breathing a word of my pregnancy to anyone.    

Hell, I don't think I'd even tell my own mother right now.    

In a way, I wish Justin and I had planned this. I wish we could be excited, sitting around picking out baby names and celebrating.    

That's the way this kind of thing is supposed to happen. It's supposed to be a special occasion. I should be thrilled at the idea of telling everyone that we're going to have a baby.    

Instead, I'm terrified.    

Knowing Justin as well as I do, I should have known he wouldn't take this very well. I should have been able to calm him down. I shouldn't have just let him leave.    

Suddenly, the door bursts open and Justin storms inside, jaw clenched and hands fisted at his sides. I can't even remember the last time I saw him this angry. He grabs his suitcase and begins throwing his clothes inside at lighting speed.    

Oh hell no.    

He's lost his damn mind if he thinks he's leaving me alone and pregnant in Hawaii. I'll let his four hour disappearing act slide, but there's no way he's leaving this state, this hotel even, without me.    

"What the hell man?" Trace asks, a dumbfounded look splashed across his face as he watches Justin frantically pack.    

"We gotta get the fuck out of here."    

"We're...uhh...yeah, we're gonna go." Trace says as he and Lauren awkwardly back out of the room.    

Justin continues to throw his things into suitcases, without even looking at me. I knew he was freaked out when he left, but I expected him to come back calmer and ready to talk about this. Instead, he's running around like an idiot.    

I pull the suitcase away from him and he glares at me. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear he's about to take a swing at me.     

Ya know, it's kind of funny actually. All our lives, he's been the problem solver and I've always wanted to run away from my problems. It's almost weird how quickly those roles have been reversed.     

"Nobody is going anywhere until you sit down and tell me what the hell is going on Justin."    

"It's not important." He mutters and reaches for the suitcase again.     

"It's important to me, spill it." I demand. He finally relents and slowly sits down on the bed, his eyes glued to the floor.     

"Look, I'm sorry I left, ok? I just...I needed to think. A baby is a big fuckin deal Al, and I just got really scared."

"So we're interrupting our vacation because you're scared?" I give him a skeptical look and he lets out a long sigh.    

"No..I...I was on my way back here to talk to you and..and Darcy was here."    

This has got to be some kind of sick joke.     

What the hell could her crazy ass possibly be doing here? It's been almost two months since Johnny fired her. There's no reason for her to be anywhere near us. Unless, she's stalking Justin or some twisted shit like that...but even she isn't that insane, is she?    

"She's...she's got pictures from that night Al, and she's threatening to sell them, unless I pay her off."    

"Justin come on...she can't have pictures..."    

"Oh she does." He laughs bitterly. "And it doesn't have a damn thing to do with me. She said it's because of you."
        

Me?    

I didn't do a damn thing to that girl, other than report the fact that she was sexually harassing my boyfriend. I mean, what does her selling pictures of Justin have to do with me?     

Granted, the last thing I want to see is Justin's reputation destroyed. If those pictures do come out, he'd be ruined.    

I guess, that is the best form of revenge. Hit me where it really hurts.    

"Where is she?"    

"The bar. I told her I'd be back with the money."    

"She isn't getting a fucking dime Justin." I mutter and head for the door.    

I'm putting an end to this, once and for all. Justin isn't paying her a cent, and I'm going to get my hands on those pictures.     

Maybe it's the mother in me coming out, but I have this intense need to protect Justin. I love him and I'm not going to let anyone on the face of this earth hurt him. And ya know what, I'm just flat out tired of all the bullshit that gets thrown at us.     

I've stood back and let a lot of it happen, but those days are over. Justin and I are going to be a family and there isn't anyone or anything that's going to intrude on that.    

I make my way into the bar and spot Darcy immediately. She hasn't changed one bit in the two months since I last saw her. She's still gorgeous, still has that arrogance about her.    

I stroll up to the table and slowly sit down across from her. She looks up from her book and smirks at me.    

"Hello Ally. Enjoying your vacation?"        

I don't understand this one bit. As much as I hated what she was doing to Justin, I was nothing but polite to this woman. She has no reason to get back at me for anything.    

"I don't know what the hell you're trying to pull Darcy, but it's not going to work."    

"That's where you're wrong." She smiles and slides the photos in front of me. "I bet there's a lot of people who would pay a lot of money for those."    

"Why?"    

I probably sound like a moron, but I don't care. I have to know why someone would do this.    

"Ally...there are women in this world who have it all, and they still aren't satisfied. You appear to be one of them. You had Justin wrapped around your finger, but he still wasn't enough for you. You had to pull Charlie into it too."    

Charlie? What the hell does any of this have to...    

Oh my god.    

The realization shows on my face and Darcy nods slowly, a sad smile stretched across her face.    

"He filed for divorce long before he met you, but...we were talking again and I honestly thought we could work on our marriage, then you came along and suddenly, he wouldn't return my calls, he was never home. It was all about you. Once the divorce was final..I knew I had to do something. He was my husband and despite everything I did, I still loved him. But, he had you."    

Suddenly, it all makes sense. She never wanted Justin. She was simply out to get me because of Charlie.    

"When I got the job working for Justin, that was the perfect opportunity. It's a well known fact that Justin can't keep it in his pants, I'm actually surprised it took him as long as it did. Unfortunately, you just had to be all perfect and forgiving, didn't you?" She smirks and I have to fight the urge to slap her.    

"Look...you don't have anybody to blame but yourself. You slept with one of Charlie's friends. You pushed your husband away, I had nothing to do with it."

"Oh but you did. If you hadn't weaseled your way in there, we never would have gotten divorced. We would have straightened out our problems. Even when I came to work for Justin and Charlie showed up, he acted like he didn't fucking know me. Do you have any idea how that feels?"    

"Blame me all you want, but this isn't my fault." I grab the pictures and move to stand up while she rolls her eyes.    

"Alright, then let's just say I'm pissed because I lost my job, or are you completely innocent there too?"    

"You're damn right I'm innocent. You aren't getting a fucking thing from him and I will see to it. You'll be hearing from his attorneys."    

I walk out of the bar, feeling like I could take on the entire world. Maybe this problem solving stuff isn't so bad after all.    

In a weird way...I almost understand her. I know exactly how it feels to have the most important person in your life walk away from you, but she's laying blame in all the wrong places.     

Maybe I never should have gone after Charlie, but he wasn't exactly stopping me. It was a mistake, and I knew that. But in my defense, at first...I had no clue he was married. As far as I'm concerned, the whole Charlie debacle was over and done with, months ago. Why does she pick now to rehash the past?    

You know what, it doesn't matter.     

None of what's happened the last several months matters. I'm done worrying about the past and all of the insignificant little problems people try to force on Justin and I. Everything that's happened, isn't important. Family, friends, happiness...that's what's important in life.     

From now on, my mind is on the future. Justin and I are going to make it, and nothing is going to stop us. I'll do whatever I have to, to keep us together and happy.    

Maybe it's those maternal instincts again or maybe...I've just finally grown up.

**********************************************    

I place the last of my clothes into the suitcase and take a quick look around, making sure I've got everything.     

It's kind of hard to believe that our trip is already over. I wish I could say we had a great time, but the whole trip has been one giant emotional rollercoaster.     

Justin and I haven't said a single word about the baby. Granted, the majority of our time was spent with Lauren and Trace, but even when we were alone, we avoided the subject completely.    

I guess, until the shock wears off, it's just easier to pretend that it isn't happening.    

Then of course, there was Darcy and her insane nonsense. If I hadn't been convinced before, this definitely would have proved that she belongs in the damn nut house. Johnny has promised to take care of everything and now that Justin's lawyers are involved, I have no doubt that it's going to be alright.    

I think the thing that shocked me the most was when Charlie called the next morning, to apologize.    

It was pretty obvious to both Justin and I that Charlie felt partially responsible for the actions of his ex-wife. Amazingly enough, Justin assured Charlie that it wasn't his fault, and it's all water under the bridge.    

I don't think I've ever been prouder of him.    

He was completely understanding and not once did he criticize Charlie or blame him for anything. It was pretty impressive, especially since Justin has a tendency to hold grudges.    

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to get the hell out of here." Justin sighs as he places his bags by the door.   

"Yeah, I think I am too. I just want to get settled into the new house."    

"Ya know..I almost forgot about that. With everything else, moving has been the last thing on my mind."    

"Yeah, well." I shrug. "We'll need to pick out a room for the baby." I add quietly and he visibly tenses. He gives me a short nod before gathering my things and carrying them to the car.     

I know he's nervous and scared, but we can't ignore this forever. We need to start making plans before it's too late.     

Once we get home, I'll need to schedule a doctors appointment and hopefully after that, Justin will get used to the idea that our lives are about to change drastically.    

Maybe I should be pushing him to talk about it, but I don't really know what to say myself. This is just as terrifying for me as it is for him. We've both got a lot of changes to make and not a whole lot of time to make them.     

Then, we'll have to make the announcement and I think that scares me more than anything else.    

Our families are supportive no matter what, but I'm not quite sure how they're going to feel about a baby being born out of wedlock. They're pretty laid back about a lot of things, but there are occasions where those southern values show up and I'm afraid this may be one of them.    

Hell, my parents probably think I'm still saving myself for marriage.    

I know they won't disown me or anything like that, but I'm sure I'll get a nice, long lecture about how good southern girls are supposed to keep their legs closed.    

Even if I had been a virgin when Justin and I got together, I doubt it would have lasted very long. I mean...just look at him. Who would have the strength to fight that off for an extended period of time?     

Before I know it, we've checked out of the hotel and are boarding our plane to come home.    

Of all the perks Justin gets for being who he is, I think private planes might be the best.     

We've been on countless public flights and they've always been fairly awkward. People will spend the entire flight either gawking at us or constantly approaching Justin, asking for autographs and pictures.     

Unfortunately, that's just one more thing we'll have to worry about once the baby is born.    

The media goes into a frenzy anytime a celebrity is entering parenthood and once the world knows that Justin Timberlake is about to become a first time father, there's no telling how low they'll stoop for stories or even a lousy picture.    

As much as I'd love to keep my child away from that aspect of Justin's life, I know it'll be virtually impossible, and I refuse to spend my life hiding just because my boyfriend is in the spotlight.    

I know it's selfish, but there's this small part of me that wishes Justin could give it all up. Unfortunately, I know that will never happen.    

Honestly, I'm not even completely sure I'd want him to. He'd be an absolute nightmare to deal with if he ever stopped performing. As great as it would be to have him home all the time, I couldn't let him walk away from the thing he loves the most.     

That small selfish part of me might want him to, but I know if he every actually made the offer, I just couldn't bring myself to let him do it.    

I wish there was some easy fix for all of this. Something that would make Justin atleast acknowledge it, but I'm at a complete loss.    

All I can do, is sit back and wait for him to come to his senses, as usual.

*********************************    

Unpacking is probably the least fun thing in the world.    

I had planned on waiting a day or two before I got involved in this, but like any woman...I can't sit still when I'm stressed. Normally, I'd be cleaning every inch of the house but since everything here is so new, there isn't a spec of dirt anywhere.    

I can actually still smell the fresh paint on the walls.    

I had my doubts, but the house is pretty perfect, a little bigger than I would have liked, but I really can't complain. I tried to convince Justin to go smaller, but he wouldn't hear a word of it. I think he's just so used to living in wide, open spaces, he'd probably feel like the walls were closing in on him if he'd bought a house any smaller than this one.    

I know, he's completely spoiled.    

The house is basically a smaller version of the house in L.A. Same light hardwood floors, with the exception of the living room, kitchen and bathrooms. Same long hallway on the second floor. Same small front porch. Lynn even has most of the furniture in the same exact spot.    

Besides the size and number of rooms, the only major difference is that there's no evidence of Lauren or Trace anywhere. It's kind of depressing.     

Even after they left, the house in L.A still felt like it was theirs. Now, it's just Justin and I, and eventually...our baby.    

Which is why I'm already unpacking when we've been home for less than 10 hours.    

The more I think about the baby and the way Justin's been acting, the more tense I feel. I thought unpacking would take my mind off of it for awhile, but I couldn't have been more wrong.     

As I go through the house, setting everything in its place, I'm finding myself looking for hiding spots for breakable items, memorizing just how many baby gates I'll need, where to store a highchair in the kitchen.    

This baby is already taking over my life.    

I really want to be excited, but until Justin proves that he can handle all of this like an adult, I just can't get to that level. I mean, what's the point in celebrating when the father of my child is miserable and shows no interest in the baby what so ever?    

I fully expected him to need some time to adjust, but I never thought he'd flat out ignore it.    

Maybe I just expect too much from him.    

I jump slightly when the refrigerator opens behind me and I turn to find Justin rummaging through the boxes, looking for a glass. After several minutes, he gives up his search and takes a drink straight from the milk carton.    

He can be so gross sometimes.    

He throws himself into a chair and looks down at me curiously. "What are you doing?"

"Unpacking."     

I'm sure I look like a complete idiot, seated on the floor with boxes, pots and pans stacked up around me, at midnight, no less.    

"Thought you were gonna wait?" He smirks and rolls his eyes. "What am I going to do with you Ally Lynn?"    

"It has to get done some time." I mutter and push one of the empty boxes across the tile floor.    

"Why don't you get some sleep? We can finish this in the morning."    

"I don't think I'll be getting much sleep tonight Justin."    

"You couldn't sleep your first night in L.A either." He chuckles softly. "And me being the nice guy I am, sat up with you all night. Remember that?"    

"Yeah, I do." I smile fondly at the memory and nod.    

I was terrified that first night in that massive house. I remember feeling so far away from my life in Memphis and even though my best friends were all there, it scared the shit out of me. I'd never been on my own before and suddenly, I was thrown out into the real world.    

Like he said, Justin stayed up with me the entire night and listening to him talk about how much he loved L.A seemed to kill my fears a little bit. From there, being on my own was a piece of cake.    

Unfortunately, my inability to sleep tonight has nothing to do with being in a new house.    

If my boyfriend was smart, he'd realize that, but I think all those years of being surrounded by screaming girls and bright lights have killed quite a few of his brain cells.    

"So, I was thinking...once we get settled, maybe we can have our parents over for dinner, tell em about the baby and everything."    

"Seriously?"    

"Yeah. I mean, they'll notice eventually. Might as well get it over with." He shrugs and tries to force a smile, but it looks more like a wince of pain.    "Yeah, sounds good."    

Now, I'll admit...I'm pretty proud of him for coming up with that on his own, but I know he's doing it because I'd force him into it eventually. I wish there was a way to make him talk, to get him to open up. The only way we're going to get through this is together, but I can feel him pulling away from me and I can't stand it. For all I know, he's planning ways to leave my fat, pregnant ass.    

If we could just sit down and talk about it, I know it would take some of the pressure off of both of us.    

"Justin." I say suddenly and he looks down at me, eyebrows raise. "We can talk about this, ya know...In fact, I think we really need to."He lets out a long sigh before moving to the floor and sitting across from me.     

"I'm scared Al...I'm sorry I'm not all jumping up and down and shit, but I'm so damn scared. Everything's going to be different and I'm just...I'm not ready for that yet. I just need some time, ok? I'm not going anywhere...I just need some time to get used to this." I nod slowly and smile as he kisses my forehead.    

That was exactly what I needed to hear.    

It was so simple, but that's all I wanted, him to let me in and tell me how he's feeling. It really shouldn't have taken so long to find out what I already knew, but I'm happy none the less. I won't complain that he had to act like some masculine idiot, rather than admit that he's afraid. He finally did it, and that's all that matters.    

Men are just way too stubborn for their own damn good, and unfortunately...my boyfriend may be the most stubborn of them all.     

It may not seem like much, but what he just did is a fairly big deal.     

He's proved to me, that we're going to be just fine and maybe...our luck is finally turning around.

"Better Life"-Keith Urban