There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I'll tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go
Now the time has come to leave you
One more time, oh, let me kiss you
And close your eyes and I'll be on my way
      

I wanted my last night at home to be special.     

I figured Ally and I could spend the evening alone, watching movies and just in general vegging out, maybe even fooling around a little. I just want to chill out until I have to leave in the morning.     

Instead, I've got a house full of people and my pregnant girlfriend has sent me out to pick up some nasty ass Mexican food at almost midnight.     

So much for my perfect, relaxing evening.    

In a way, it's cool that she threw this mini going away party for me, but it kinda sucks at the same time. I'll be back in three and a half weeks, she really didn't have to go to all this trouble. I guess it's the thought that counts though.    

I gotta admit, I am pretty excited about going overseas again, but I'm not too thrilled at the idea of leaving Ally behind. I know she'll have our mothers, Lauren and Trace around anytime she needs anything, but I know it should be me.     

We should be getting ready for this baby, together. Instead, I'll be on the other side of the world and it absolutely kills me. Being able to come home every few weeks won't even begin to make up for the time I'll be away.    

Which, is just another reason to take some time off after the tour. The more I think about it, the more I'm looking forward to that break. And who knows...maybe if the family life suits me, I may never go back to work.    

But, I'll be keeping that to myself for now. Ally would go apeshit if she heard me say that.    

I pick up Ally's food and make it back to the house in record time. I'm telling you...she better appreciate this because now, my car wreaks of refried beans, rice, guacamole and all the other crap she wanted piled on her burrito.     

I've seen her eat some pretty weird shit before, but I think this tops the list. But, I'll be the good boyfriend I am, and give into her strange cravings. I draw the line at really crazy shit like pickles and ice cream though. Pregnant or not...that's just fuckin gross.    

Until tonight, I always kinda thought people were joking when they talked about pregnant women and their desire for odd foods.     

So far, Ally hasn't wanted anything too out there. She's just been eating a lot more than usual and it's having a visible affect on her. She's always been thin, so she's having a pretty hard time watching her body expand.    

However, I think it's kind of funny. I know, I know....I'm a dick.    

I should be a little more sympathetic, but it's just funny. She's been freaking out non stop, constantly looking herself over in the mirror, whining about her clothes that no longer fit.    

Personally, I think she looks just fine. I mean, she's pregnant and it shows..I don't see the big deal. It's not like people think she's just getting fat or anything.     

I pull into the driveway and just as I step out of the car, I notice a blue Chevy pick-up, that wasn't there when I left.    

Great. More people I don't want to see.    

I walk past the truck and stop in my tracks when I catch a glimpse of the figure inside. He's staring up at the house, anger etched all over his face.     

I should probably just head inside, but I'm just not that smart. I tap on the glass and he turns to glare at me after jumping slightly. He rolls down the window and shoots me an annoyed look.    

"Yes?"    

"You wanna come inside Dave? Everybody's here." I force a smile, but the scowl never leaves his face.    

"No. But would you please tell my wife I'm here to pick her up?" He gives me a short nod before rolling the window back up, without another word.     

I know not everybody's going to like me, and I'm perfectly ok with that, but I don't think I've ever seen someone with such hatred in their eyes when they look at me. It's actually kind of scary.     

Part of me would love nothing more than to have it out with him, but he's Ally's father. I was raised to respect my elders, no matter how they treat me.     

Honestly, I don't know if I could ever bring myself to go off on a guy, who I've always viewed as a father figure. It'd be like going off on my own dad.     

Dave Lawson can say and do whatever he wants to me, and even if I don't like it...something inside won't let me retaliate. Plus, Ally would probably murder me.   

She may be upset with him, but she's still kind of a daddy's girl at heart. She'd never tolerate someone disrespecting anyone in her family, especially her father.     

But, on the flip side...technically, I'm her family now. Shouldn't she be standing up for me or something?     

I mean, I know we aren't married, but we're having a kid...doesn't that count for something?    

I guess I can't really be too mad at her. After all, I've put her through a lot of shit. It's perfectly understandable that she wouldn't jump to my defense, especially against her father.     

Besides, she's still here with me, despite Dave's demands that she kick my ass to the curb.    

I make my way inside the house and Ally practically tackles me, grabbing her dinner out of my hands.    

"You're the best boyfriend ever." She grins before giving me a quick kiss and disappearing into the house with her food.    

I'm not even going to tell her that her dad's sitting outside. She's in a good mood and knowing that he's here would just upset her.     

I find Ann and quietly let her know that Dave's here. She collects her things, says her goodbyes and heads for the door, stopping when she reaches me.     

"You be careful over there, alright?" She smiles and pulls me into a tight hug. "He'll come around sweetheart. I swear he will."    

"Yeah, hopefully."    

"He will. He has to." She says quietly and nods. "Anyway...like I said, be careful. Call if you need anything."    

"I will. Thanks Ann." She smiles at me once more, then steps outside and heads to the waiting truck.    

It blows my mind that she can be so sweet and supportive while her husband is about ready to come after me with a shotgun. I just don't get it.    

I take a seat on the couch next to Trace and groan when Ally plops down in my lap.    

Yeah, she's definitely gaining weight.     

She curls up against me and I can't help but smile. I wonder how many people I'd piss off, if I just said to hell with the tour and stayed here with her.     

Yeah I know, I can't even begin to count that high.     

I really don't want to leave her, but I don't have a choice. The arenas have been booked, tickets sold, and plans made. I don't have a shot in hell at weaseling out of this.    

As much as I don't want to, I have to leave in the morning.    

"Alright Trace...your son is getting cranky. We better get going." Lauren says suddenly as she struggles to keep Noah still.    

"I love how he's only my son when he's being a shit." Trace rolls his eyes and groans.    

"Well, yeah. That's your side coming out." Lauren giggles and shakes her head.     

"This is what you're in for man." He mutters as he turns to look at me. "She gets the fun stuff while you get diaper duty and all the other shitty stuff."    

"Can't wait." I chuckle and rest my hand on Ally's stomach.    

I really can't. It's going to be awesome to see this little being that's half her, half me. I'm even looking forward to the nasty stuff. Changing diapers, late night feedings, hell...even puke clean up.     

I know, I'm completely insane.

**********************    

"Ipod. Speakers. Earphones. Electric razor. Phone charger and extra battery. I think that's it." Ally nods as she zips up the smallest of my bags.    

She collapses onto the bed and looks around the now half empty room, a slight frown on her face. The only trace of me left is the photo of the two of us, placed neatly on the dresser in the corner, and a few of the odds and ends I'm not taking with me.    

I still can't believe I'm leaving already.    

I ease down next to her, pulling her against my side. She's holding it together pretty well so far, which I kind of expected. Even with her hormones all out of whack, she's still doing a fairly good job of keeping her emotions in check, no matter the situation.        

What can I say? My girl's tough.    

"I just thought of the dumbest thing." She giggles as she rests her head on my shoulder. "We haven't picked out any names yet."    

"Why pick out a name when you don't know what it is?"    

"Preparation, Justin. Duh."    

"Oh yeah...cause we were totally prepared for this to begin with." I chuckle and shake my head.    

"I know, but it's turning out ok, right?"    

"So far." I nod slowly and smile down at her.    

I'm still amazed that it took me 26 years to realize that I belong with her. I just feel like I wasted so much time with other women, when I had her right in front of me all along. Despite all of the crap we've dealt with, we've managed to make this work and I think we're finally at the point where we can settle down and be happy.    

It just kinda sucks that it took a surprise pregnancy to make that happen, but...I guess everything happens for a reason.    

The doorbell echoes through the house, and that's my signal. Joel is here and I need to get my shit downstairs, then head for the airport.     

"You coming to the airport?"    

"Yeah." She smiles sadly and quickly stands up. "Trace is coming too."
        

We head down the stairs and as soon as I open the door, Joel rushes inside, Mike and Eric from security hot on his heels. Trace arrives a few minutes later and before I know it, my bags are loaded into the van.    

Ally is silent during our short ride to the airport, her fingers tightly laced with mine as we make our way through the crowd to my gate. I should have taken Johnny's advice and gotten a private plane. I thought by flying commercial, it would keep me from losing it completely once I leave her, but I don't think anything's going to stop that now.     

I know I'm acting like a whiney little bitch. It's three and a half weeks, we've been apart much longer than that before. But in my defense, she wasn't pregnant then.    

It probably sounds kind of weird, but I'm a little worried about her. She'll be in that big house alone, what if something happens? She's pretty clumsy, what happens if she falls down the damn steps or something? What if she falls asleep with the stove on?    

I've got all of these potentially life threatening scenarios running through my head and it's scaring the shit out of me. When I come home, I better find my girlfriend and baby in one piece.     

I eye Trace carefully for a few minutes and nod to myself. I'm totally over-reacting. With Trace around, I know Ally will be in good hands. There's nothing to worry about.    

"Keep an eye on her, alright?" I say quietly and glance at Ally, giggling with Eric.     

"Holy shit...are you getting parental on me already?"    

"You're hilarious." I roll my eyes and shove him lightly. Now is not the time for him to be a jackass.    

"Come on man...lighten the fuck up. You'll be back in a few weeks."    

"I know...I just..."    

"Say no more." He nods knowingly and slaps my back comfortingly. "I got you covered man."    

"Thanks."
    

We wait for almost half an hour before a stewardess informs us that first class will be boarding within the next five minutes.    

Suddenly, it finally hits me. I'm leaving.    

For the next three and a half weeks, I'll wake up alone. I won't see Ally face to face, won't be able to touch her, kiss her any time I want, for almost a month.    

As stupid as it sounds, I'm not so sure I want my week off every month. I don't think I've got the strength to repeat the leaving process four more times.    

Ally makes her way over to me, that forced, awkward smile still planted on her face. I guess she isn't holding it together as well as I thought. She slides her arms around my waist, clinging to me for dear life.     

Neither of us says anything and I take a moment to memorize everything about her. The way she feels in my arms, the smell of her hair, the way her shirt is starting to stretch across her growing stomach.     

"Ally...I want you to do something for me."    

"Anything." Her voice is muffled from where her face is buried in my chest and I smile. Atleast I know I'll be missed.     

"Get with Johnny and hire a nanny. Someone who can move into the house and be with you while I'm gone. You're going to need help the next few months and I want somebody who can be there all the time."    

"No, I'll be fine." She sniffles. "I wasn't going to look for a nanny tilll I went back to work."    

"Just...humor me, ok?" She finally looks up at me and smiles affectionately when her eyes meet mine.    

"Alright Justin, whatever you want." I know she's saying that just to shut me up, but I'm serious about this nanny stuff.    

She kisses me sweetly and I quickly deepen it. This is the last time I'll have those lips on mine for almost a month. I don't care who can see us, I'm making this one count.     

Her tongue dances with mine and I commit the way she tastes to my memory. I'm so pathetically dependant on her, but I don't care. I love her and I need her desperately. I don't care who knows it.     

She pulls away breathlessly and tightens her hold on me.     

This is horrible. How lovesick are we, that we can't bear the thought of being separated for a few short weeks. Most couples wouldn't bat an eye at that. But, Ally and I aren't most couples.        

Our relationship is different on so many levels and I don't think anyone but us will ever understand it. We just need each other, we always have and I've got a funny feeling, we always will.    

"You better go." She mumbles softly as she tries pry herself away from me.    

"Yeah, but I really don't want to."    

"It's only a few weeks. We'll be fine." She nods, trying to convince herself and me at the same time.    

"We will. It'll be over before we know it." I smile sadly and press my lips to hers one last time. "I love you."    

"I love you too Justin." She finally lets go of me and takes a few steps back, a frown settling on her face.         

I grab my carry-on and move to board the plane with Joel, who's been anxiously waiting. I stop before I reach the gate and turn to face her once again.    

"I mean it Al....hire a damn nanny!" I call out and she erupts into a fit of giggles, shaking her head at me.    

There it is.     

That's the image I want to take with me, my Ally Lynn, smiling and happy, and absolutely gorgeous.     

Three and a half weeks is going to feel like a lifetime.

"Leaving On A Jet Plane"-Chantal Kreviazuk