In a nutshell… Last night sucked.

Ryan ended up leaving a little while after Justin gave me my beautiful ring, which by the way (girlie squeal), Wow! Anyways, I’m a little confused about how Ryan reacted to hearing we have more siblings out there somewhere. I know he will always have this huge grudge against Tina, but those kids don’t know about us and I can’t really hold that against them.

I don’t think I’m going to go out of my way to try and find them, but if one day I do stumble upon one of them, I’m not going to act like I don’t know or don’t care, because I do. I care a lot. They are my family.

Ryan reacted like he had known though, but he wouldn’t do that to me right? He wouldn’t hide that kind of information from me would he? No, that’s insane. I think he was just shocked and angry.

Right?

Aww shit. Would he?

“Would he what?” Justin asks from behind me. My eyes snap open realizing I said that out loud.

“Lauren?”

I sigh, “Do you think Ryan knew about them?”

He stays silent for a minute and the knot in my stomach twists. Shit he thinks he did too.

“I think he was just a little shocked.” He finally answers.

“That’s not what you really think.” I say just above a whisper.

He sighs, kissing my shoulder, “I think his reaction was a bit odd, but I don’t know if it means he knew.”

“But you think he might’ve?”

He sighs again, “Yeah.”

“Why wouldn’t he tell me then?” I ask, tears falling down my face onto the pillow.

“Baby, we don’t even know if he really did. I think you should just ask him.”

“Hmm…” I turn around in his arms, “Do you mind if I spend the day with Olivia?”

I see a flash of disappointment in his eyes, but it quickly recedes, “Of course not.”

I smile, weakly, “Thanks. I just need to get out and not think about any of this for a few hours. I’m sorry.”

He kisses my forehead, “Don’t be sorry.”

“Is our relationship ever going to get easy? ” I ask against his chest, pulling him closer to me.

He chuckles, pulling my head back to look at me “I love you Lauren. I’m here if you want to talk about this or if you want help forgetting about this.” he says winking at me.

I laugh, “Well I certainly want to forget about all of this so, what do you have in mind?”

************************************************************************

“Wow… I mean… Wow… atleast you got amazing sex out of all of this drama.” Olivia says after I ranted on and on for the last hour about what happened last night.

“Livy!”

“It’s true. Sex with that man can’t possible be bad.” She says, chewing on a fry.

“It’s not, but did you have to announce to the whole diner that I had sex this morning?” I harshly whispered across the table at her.

She rolls her eyes, “You’re with Mr. SexyBack… Hello, these people know you have sex as often as possible without me announcing it to them.”

“I do not!” I say, wide eyed.

“Then you are one stupid woman.” she says, shaking her head, “Hey, what did you say your… those kids names where?” She asks, taking a sip of her latte.

“Holly, Hannah and William.” I say, biting my bottom lip.

“I still can’t believe this. You’ve had sibling out there you had no idea about for the last 20 years… and to top it off, Justin‘s mother is the one that tell you about them…” She says, trailing off.

“Yeah… Lynn keeps apologizing, and I guess I can’t really be that mad at her over this.”

“She was a raging bitch to you for something you had nothing to do with. You have every right to be deeply pissed off about this. Fuck that bitch.”

“That bitch is going to be my family soon.”

“Derek’s mother’s my family and I still think she’s a bitch. I told you, it comes with the territory.” She says, popping a fry in her mouth.

“But it’s not even her thinking I was just like Tina, It was the fact she couldn’t even ask me about her. She just jumped to conclusions. Oh and she keeps casually mentioning that she thinks I’m pregnant. Do I really look like I am?” I stand lifting up my shirt for her to look, “I have a fashion show this weekend and having a baby bump may put a damper on that.”

“You’re still your tiny self.” She says, popping another fry.

“Me? Livy you’re the tiny one.” I say, dropping the hem of my shirt letting it fall back down in place.

“Not for long.” She mumbles.

“Well if you keep eating that entire plate of loaded fries, your probably right.” I say, snatching a fry.

She sighs, “Lo… I think I’m pregnant.”

My eyes bug out of my head, “You what?”

“I’m late.”

“For what?” I ask then shake my head, “I’m so dumb sometimes… ok so you’re late…have you taken a test yet?”

She shakes her head, “I’m too scared.”

“Of what?”

“Derek.”

“Derek? Oh please, the man would be ecstatic about you being pregnant.” I say, snatching another fry from her.

“Will you do it with me?”

I laugh, “Why? I’m not pregnant.”

“How do you know? Maybe mommy dearest is right. Might as well check it out right?”

“You’re serious?” I ask, wide eyed.

“Please? I can’t do this alone Lo.” She’s giving my those damn puppy dog eyes.

“I don’t see the point in me taking one, but if it will make you happy. Why not. My life couldn’t get any more fucked up than it is right now, right?”

“Sure… let’s go.” She says, tossing a few bills on the table, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the diner.

“Where’s the fire?” Trace asks, as Olivia barrels into him at the door.

“Whoa!” She yells, stumbling backwards.

“Hey T.” I say, pulling my hand out of Olivia’s.

“Where are you two off to in such a rush? Let me guess, Bikinis on clearance? Do you need any help picking one out? I’m free this afternoon.”

“You’re an insane little midget you know that?” Olivia says, laughing.

He shrugs, “Darlin’, you ever need help picking out lingerie, please don’t hesitate to call me. You either Miss L.” He says, winking at me.

“You can see me in lingerie all over the internet big guy.” I say shaking my head.

“Eh, seeing it in person is so much better.” he grins, looking me up and down, his gaze traveling over to Olivia and she growls.

“Look you fucking perver…” I smack my hand over her mouth shaking my head.

“I’ll see you later T.” I say, pulling her out of the diner. He just laughs, walking up to the counter.

“Gah, That man is such a dick.” She yells once we get to the car.

“He’s just horny and we happen to be two very good looking individuals.” I say, sitting down in the car, slamming the door.

“Yeah, very taken, good looking individuals.” She says, rolling her eyes.

“So… convenient store?” I ask, starting the car.

“No, I have every test made at home. Let’s just go there.” She mumbles, twiddling with her thumbs.

The car ride to the house was pretty intense. She was incredibly nervous and the closer I got to the house, I started to get nervous. I pulled in and we both jumped out of the car. We made out way into her house, tossing our purses on the table. She grabbed a Godiva bag out of the cabinet and passed it to me.

“Chocolate isn’t going to solve our problems sweetie.”

“It’s not chocolate.” She says with a sigh. I open it and find a shit load of pregnancy test and I can’t help but laugh.

“Why?” I ask.

“Derek can’t eat chocolate. It makes him shit something fierce so I figured it was a safe place to hide them.” She says, grabbing three tests, reading the instructions on the side panel.

“Wow… Way too much information on Derek. Thanks… I’ll take this one I guess.” I say, pulling out… EPT, the digital kind even. Oooh double pack. That means I get to pee on two sticks. Yeah!

“Take this one too. You never know.” She says passing me a First Response package. Great, four sticks to pee on. I hope I have enough to cover all of them.

“Good luck.” she says, walking back towards hers and Derek’s bedroom.

“mmm.” Luck… Yeah that’s exactly what I want. Luck on a pregnancy test.

Ok so I’ll admit, I’m scared shitless and I honestly don’t want to know right now if I am or not, but I can’t not do it. I could always splash some water on it and say I peed… No that’s stupid. I’m not pregnant so it’s not going to matter what I do.

I walk down the hallway to the bathroom. I do my thing, which by the way, is really difficult peeing on one stick let alone four, but I did it. I hear a knock at the door and I open it to see Olivia holding her tests. It looks like she took about eight of them too. She placed them on the other side of the sink and we sat in silence on the edge of her tub for three minutes. The box said two, but we got nervous and waited an extra minute.

“Ok… You go first.” She says, turning towards me.

“ME?” I screech, “Why me?”

“Because you’re the one that doesn’t think it’ll be positive.”

“But what if it is?” I ask, turning towards her.

“Fuck… Who’s going to go first?”

“We could do it at the same time.” I suggest, knowing I’m walking over to the counter with my eyes closed.

“I guess that could work… Or you could look at mine and I could look at yours.” She suggests.

“Or we can pretend we didn’t just pee on a stick and walk out of here and go eat some ice cream.” I say, pouting.

“Not happening. I need to know Lo… What about you?”

I sigh, “I’m scared Liv. What if I am? That would be like the gasoline being thrown on the fire that’s already burning. Fuck, I can’t believe this is happening right now.”

“But what if it’s negative? Then at least you know right?”

“What about you? What are you going to do?”

“Shit myself.” She says laughing. “I’m scared to Lo… let’s do this. On three?” She says and I nod. “One, Two… Three.”

We both stand, walking over to our section of the counter. I look down at the sticks, immediately closing my eyes.

I can’t do this. I can’t fucking do this.

I turn towards Olivia and she’s doing the same thing. She turns towards me with a raised eyebrow.

“I can’t look Liv.” I whisper.

“Me either.” She says, biting her bottom lip, “But I have to.”

“Ok… On three?” I say, sighing. She nods and I count to three before looking down at the test at the same time she looks down at hers.

“Holy shit.”