On my way back to Justin’s I got a pretty amazing phone call. I guess the Black Eyed Peas want a couple of the Victoria’s Secret Angels in their new video for ‘I Gotta Feeling’.

It’s supposed to be pretty sexy and extremely fun. I’m not quite sure I should be doing anything sexy right now with my mini baby bump, but from what Connie told me, Fergie asked for three of us specifically and I have to admit, I find her to be intriguing and I can’t pass up this opportunity.

Shooting starts in 2 days so I have a few days of crazy workouts to try and fix some of the bulge that shouldn’t be there.

Oh who am I kidding, that shit isn’t going anywhere, I’m so screwed.

I hear knocking on the window and I laugh, noticing Justin staring in wondering what the hell I’m doing.

I get out of the car, shaking my head, “I’m sorry, I got thinking and forgot what I was doing.”

“Things not go well?” He asks, walking back towards the house beside me.

“No, things went fine, I just got a phone call that was interesting on the way home.”

He stops on the front steps, taking a seat, pulling my hand making me take a seat next to him, “What happened?”

“Ryan got a dog.” I say avoiding the two subjects all together.

He laughs, “That’s interesting in all, but what happened with Ryan and what was the phone call about?”

I sigh, “I found out that Ryan has known for nine years and Tina paid him not to tell me. I guess she’s changed and is mother of the year to those kids and didn’t want me to know.” I sigh again, “I guess I’m just mad he couldn’t tell me, but what he said makes sense.”

“What’d he say?”

“That he didn’t want me to find out because I was finally getting over my dad dying and Tina leaving and if I would have found out then I would have reverted back to what I was before and he didn’t want to see that happen so he kept it to himself.”

He nods, “It makes sense, but what about now?”

I shrug, “I don’t know, maybe he just didn’t want to think about it so he forgot in a way.”

He nods again, “I guess.”

“He uh… He asked us to dinner tonight.” I bite my bottom lip, “He wants us to meet his girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.

I nod, “I guess they’ve been dating for five months and it’s pretty serious.”

“I’ll have to see if someone can watch Kenzie.”

I smile, “Thank you.” He shrugs.

“I only agreed because he seems to be in love with her and he’s worried he’s going to lose her.”

“Why’s that?” He asks, while scanning through his phone, hopefully searching for a suitable babysitter for tonight.

“Uh… He found out a while back that he can’t have kids and hasn’t told her yet.” I say and his head snaps back up to look at me, “I guess she wants kids and he doesn’t know how to break it to her he can’t make them.”

“Holy shit.”

I nod, “I felt horrible. I don’t understand why he wouldn’t have ever told me. I’m his sister and he was too embarrassed to tell me he’s sterile.”

Justin sighs, “That’s huge to a guy though. I’m sure in some way he thought if he said it, it would make it true and he’d feel less like a man from it.”

I nod, “I get that, but I’m his sister.”

“And he was the only man you had in your life.”

“I feel horrible. I didn’t know what to say. I just hope she takes it well, because he really loves her.”

“We’ll if she loves him, then they can work around it.”

“That’s what I said.”

He smiles, “Ok so dinner tonight with your brother… What about the phone call.”

I scrunch up my face nervously, “I got a call to be in a music video.”

He laughs, “As a dancer?”

I smack his arm, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

I glare at him, “I can dance.”

“I know, but what do they really want with you and who wants you?”

“I’m not really sure, I just know I’ll be naked most of the time.” I say with a straight face.

“You’ll what?” He asks, angrily. “Naked with who?”

I shrug, “I think Connie said something about a group shower with some rock band.” I pause in thought, “I think she said something about another girl and then five or six guys.”

“All naked in a shower together?” He squeaks out.

I nod, “Is that a problem?”

“It’s a very big problem.” He shakes his head, “Your not doing it.”

I scoff, “Ok Daddy. I didn’t realize you dictated my life, but thanks for the suggestion.”

“You’re not going to be naked with other men for a music video.”

“But you can all but fuck your dancers on stage next month at your benefit concert?” I say and his eyes go wild, “Yeah, baby I’ve seen your rehearsals.”

“I’m not fucking them and I’m not naked.”

I shrug, “I don’t see a difference.”

“You’ll be naked with a bunch of men with wandering hands.”

I couldn’t hold back anymore. I start laughing hysterically.

“What’s so fucking funny?”

“You.” I say in between laughs.

“It’s not funny. Your not doing it.”

“I know.” I say, my laughter dying down, “I was joking.”

He growls, glaring at me, “You better have been joking.”

I laugh again, “It’s for the Black Eyed Peas. They want a couple Angels to be in the video and I was one of the chosen. I guess it’s sexy, but I wont be naked with men in a shower.”

“Oh don’t worry, I’ll be there to make sure of it.”

I roll my eyes, “Overly protective much?”

“Music videos can get pretty nasty pretty quick.”

I grin, “Can they? Wow I’d love to hear this story.”

His eyes grow three sizes, “I-I didn’t mean me.”

I laugh, “Sure you didn’t. I’m sure you’ve been a saint in all your videos.”

“I wasn’t the bad one!” He defends, “But I’ve been apart of some videos that got out of hand.”

“Like?”

He runs his hand over his face, “We’re getting off topic. I’m coming to your video shoot. When is it?”

I laugh, “Friday.”

He nods, “Ok.”

“You can’t go until you tell me about theses horrible music videos though.”

He groans, “We’ll see.”

************************************************************************

“Does anyone want a drink?” Ryan asks, looking around the table.

“I’ll have some wine.” Gabrielle says, smiling.

She seems like a very nice girl. She’s been a little quiet, but it’s scary meeting family for the first time, so I can’t hold it against her.

“Justin or Lauren, I have everything you can think of.” Ryan says, looking at the two of us.

“I’ll have a Jack and Coke.” Justin says.

“I’ll have a cosmo.” I say, smiling. I grab Justin’s leg to let him know I’m joking. God forbid I even got within five feet of alcohol.

“Ok.” He says walking off.

He returned a few minutes later with all of our drinks, placing them in front of each of us.

He puts mine down, but grabs it back rather quickly, spilling a little on the table, “A cosmo?” he asks, looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Did something happen that I’m not aware of that made it ok for you to drink?” He asks, looking back and forth between me and Justin.

“Took you long enough.” I say rolling my eyes at him.

“Jesus, Lauren.” He says, walking back into the kitchen to get me a water.

I laugh and Gabrielle looks at us in confusion.

“I’m sorry, your probably wondering what the hells going on.” I say laughing, “I’m pregnant.”

“Oh wow. Congratulations.” she says with a sweet smile. “I can’t wait to be pregnant one day.”

My heart dropped, “Pregnancy isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.”

“But the result is incredible.”

“But you don’t have to get pregnant to get the same result.” I say and Justin pinched my thigh under the table.

She shrugs, “I guess, but I find it fascinating that you’re carrying a life inside you. It’s just an incredible experience that I can’t wait to have.”

I smile despite my horrible feelings.

She looks at me funny for minutes before looking towards the kitchen door then back to me, “Does your brother not want kids?”

Well, shit. This wasn’t the conversation I wanted to have tonight.

“I’m going to go see if I can help Ryan.” Justin says hopping up from his seat, jogging towards the kitchen.

Chicken.

“Lauren?” She says cautiously.

“Ryan loves kids. I’m sure he’d love to have his own.” He just can’t have them.

She smiles and I can’t help myself, I have to ask.

“Would it matter?”

“Well… No, I guess. I do want kids, but I do love him.”

“So if he told you he didn’t want kids, you’d stay?”

She sighs, “I wouldn’t leave him for just that reason.”

I nod, noticing she didn’t flat out say she would stay.

“Dinner’s almost ready.” Ryan says, entering the room with Justin right behind him.

“Good I’m starving.” I say smiling, “Do you have any pickles?” I ask, trying to get Ryan into the kitchen so I can talk to him.

“Uh.. I think so.” He says hesitantly.

“Can we go look, I’m really craving some pickles… oooh did you make any desert?” I ask, pushing him into the kitchen, the door swinging shut behind us.

“What the hell.. Pickles?” He asks, shaking his head.

“Ryan I don’t want any pickles.” I say as he searches the refrigerator. His head pokes around towards me and he looks at me in question.

“You have to tell her.” I say, “You need to tell her now.”

“Now? Before dinner?” he shakes his head, “I can’t do it right now Lauren.”

“I just had a conversation about pregnancy and having kids with her, you need to tell her.”

“You what?” He asks, his eyes going wild.

“Relax, it’s not like I started it or anything. She asked why I couldn’t drink so I had to tell her I was pregnant. Then she went off on how she can’t wait and I guess I wasn’t saying enough because she asked if you wanted kids.”

“What’d you tell her?” He asks in a whisper.

“I told her you loved kids and I’m sure you’d love to have kids of your own.”

He sighs in defeat, “I would.”

“Ryan, I’m so sorry.” I say while my eyes start to water.

“Don’t start the water works, she’ll wonder why you were crying.” he says, running a hand over his face and through his hair, fisting it in his hands and tugging.

I wipe the stray tear, “Ryan, you need to tell her, now.”

He nods with a deep sigh, “I’ll send Justin in.” He walks towards the door, then turns back towards me, “No eavesdropping.”

I scoff, “I would never.” I say as he his back disappears through the door.

I hope this goes well for him, I really do.