I never thought I’d be saying this, but… I’m head over heals in love with the man sitting in front of me. He’s incredible. I don’t know if it was seeing him with Mackenzie or if it was just seeing him again after 3 weeks, but there’s not doubt in my mind.

I’m in love with him.

There’s just one problem. Now is not exactly the time to tell him this. He has enough craziness in his life at the moment, he certainly doesn’t need me telling him I love him already.

“Is everything ok?” He asks again for the third time tonight.

Apparently I’m not hiding this well.

“Yeah… I’m fine, why?” I ask, wiping my face with the napkin to hide any insecurity in my voice.

“You’ve been acting funny since we got here.”

Shit…

“I’m fine. I guess I’m just getting used to all the attention your getting. We haven’t really been in public together before.”

He nods slowly, “Do you want to leave?”

“No.” I say quickly, “No, I’m sorry…Uh… I’m just going to run to the ladies room. I promise I’ll be better when I get back.”

I grab my purse and make my way into the ladies room. I stop in front of the mirror and stare at myself.

“Get a hold of yourself.” I yell at myself.

I take a couple deep breaths before turning back towards the door. The door flies open and I’m greeted with Justin on the other side.

“Holy shit… you scared me.” I say, grabbing my stomach.

He just stands there staring at me for a second before he speaks.

“Is this about Mackenzie?” He asks.

My eyes grow wide, “No, god… of course it’s not.”

“Is it about me? Do you not want to be with me anymore?”

“Where is this coming from?”

“And there’s my answer… Let’s go I’ll take you home.”

I stand there in shock as he walks away, throwing money on the table before walking out the door. I quickly make my way through the restaurant and walk out to the car. Justin was sitting there waiting with the engine rolling already.

I take a deep breath before opening the door and settling in. He doesn’t speak, he just puts the car into drive and takes off. Neither of us spoke the whole way to the house. I kept trying, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. I don’t know how to react to what he said. I can’t believe he thinks that. I’m still a little shocked.

He turns the car off and sits back with a big sigh.

“I don’t not want to be with you, Justin.” I finally say.

“Then why are you acting like this? You were fine at the house earlier, then we get to the restaurant and you become a drone. You don’t speak, you keep fidgeting, I don’t know what happened. Was it because I didn’t call for so long? Or is it really because you can’t handle the thought of maybe being a mom to Mackenzie.”

I inhale a sharp breath and turn towards him, “I told you it has nothing to do with Mackenzie, so stop.”

“Well if it has to do with me it has to do with her. We’re a packaged deal now.”

“I know, but you think I’m acting this way because of her and I’m not. It’s not like that.”

“Then how is it? Huh? What’s your fucking problem?”

My eyes grow wide at his harsh words, “I know this has been hard on you, but don’t take it out on me… You know what, I’m done with this conversation. When you grow up and want to talk, call me.” I say before jumping out of the car, stomping towards mine.

“It’s probably better this way anyways… It’s not like you’re mother material anyways.” He yells towards me.

My body freezes in place and my eyes immediately begin to water. I don’t want him to get any gratification from making me cry, so I open my car down, slamming it shut before turning on the engine and screeching out of his driveway.

I cried the whole way home. I’m not even sure how I got home, quite honestly. When I pulled into the driveway I broke down in sobs. How could this have happened. Why does he think that?

What the hell just happened?

I finally pull myself together enough to walk into the house, silently praying Ryan is no where near my end of the house. I sigh, closing the door behind me, so far so good. I start up the stairs and stop in my tracks when I see Ryan walking down towards me.

“How was your… Oh god what happened?” he asks, running down towards me. He scooped me up into a hug as I began to break into sobs again.

He eventually carried me up into my room, laying me down on top of my bed. I obviously feel asleep, because there is no way it’s still night time with the amount of sunlight hitting my face right now.

I groan turning on my other side to block the sunlight from hitting my face direct on and smash into something. My eyes fly open to find Ryan sound asleep next to me.

This is weird.

I sit up, shaking my head, trying to figure out if last night really happened.

“You want to talk about it?” Ryan asks through a yawn.

I take it, it really did happen and it wasn’t some horrid dream…

“Not really.” I say quietly.

“Lauren, please… What happened?”

“I don’t know. I still just don’t know.” I say as a single tear falls down my face.

Ryan sits up next to me, throwing his arm around me, pulling me closer to him. I drop my head onto his shoulder and let a few more tears fall.

“Talk to me Laur.” He says, running his hand up and down my arm.

“I don’t know where to start. I still don’t understand how this happened.” I say shaking my head.

“From the beginning.” he says quietly.

“Ok… I got to his house and Trace answered the door… I met Mackenzie… She’s beautiful… She looks just like him… Ummm I met his mother too. She was sweet. I don’t know… we went to dinner and I guess I was acting funny because he kept asking what was wrong.”

“Why were you acting funny?”

“I don’t know.” I lie.

“Lauren…”

I sigh, closing my eyes, “You were right.” I say barely audible.

“about?” He asks, obviously hearing me.

“My feelings.”

He sighs, “And I’m guessing you told him and he didn’t take it well?”

“No. I didn’t tell him and he told me I wasn’t mother material.”

Ryan jumps back forcing me to face him. “He said what to you?” He asks angrily.

“We got in this fight in the car and he started swearing at me so I told him to call me when he grew up. That pissed him off so he told me it was probably better off this way because I wasn’t really mother material.” I say, choking out the last part, trying hard not to break again.

“I’m going to kill him.” He says to himself.

“No your not, your going to stay with me and keep me company.” I say forcing a smile.

“After I kill him.”

“You’re not going to kill him. He’s probably right anyways.”

“Don’t you dare say that. You will make an amazing mother one day. If he’s stupid enough to think you wont be, that’s his loss.”

“Yeah well it’s my loss too.” I say looking down at my fingers.

“Why don’t you come to my office with me. I just have to send out a few song ideas to some people, then we can go shopping for shoes. How’s that sound.”

“Shoes? You hate shoe shopping… especially with me.” I say finally cracking a smile.

“I’ll do anything to keep that smile on your face.” He says smiling.

“Thank you Ryan. I love you, you know.”

“I know… I love you too kid.” He says, grabbing me in for a hug.

************************************************************************

I can’t believe what a dick Justin was to Lauren. I don’t care how upset you are with someone. You never tell a woman she’d be a bad mother. That really fucks with a woman’s head.

The nerve of that bastard, thinking he’d get away with this shit.

I feel horrible for Lauren. She looks so depressed. She wouldn’t even put make-up on this morning before we left. She’s currently rolled up in a ball on the couch in my office, reading Cosmo.

I almost shit myself when I saw I had scheduled some writing time for this afternoon with Justin, but there isn’t a snowballs chance in hell he’d show his face in here after last night. He’d have to be the dumbest mother fucker to try something like that.

“Ryan, can I ask you something without you getting weirded-out?” Lauren asks, looking at me from over the top of her magazine.

“Sure.” I say smiling. I do just about anything to make her happy at this point.

“Ok well I’m reading this article and I was just wondering if it was true.”

“What makes you think I’d know.”

“Because you’re a dog.” She says laughing to herself.

“Nice Laur…”

“You are. I’m sure you’ve done every position in the book and then made some of your own.”

“I’m not talking about this with you.” I say shaking my head, turning towards the window to try and block her crazy smirk.

“Aww come on. It’s not that personal.” She says, still smirking at me.

“Still not having this conversation with you. I never want to hear about your sexual adventures and I thought you’d feel the same way.”

“Eww Ryan. I don’t want to know about them. Jesus. I just had a general question about this article and I figured you would know.”

“What is it?” I ask, still staring out the window, shaking my head.

“This article says that out of the thousands of men they surveyed, 95% of them said they could tell when a woman was faking it. Can you?” She asks, raising an eyebrow.

“They are full of shit and don’t realize it.” I say laughing.

“That’s what I thought. They just don’t know their girl is faking it right?”

“If you’ve given her a real one, it’s easier to make out the difference, but if you’ve never given her a real one they can’t possib… You’ve got to be shitting me.” I say scrunching up my face, trying to see out the window.

“What?” She asks looking worried.

“That can’t be…” I start but stop, turning towards Lauren.

“Sit. Don’t move. Hear me?” I say sternly.

She nods, sitting back down comfortably on the couch. I walk out of my office, closing the door behind me, just as Justin walks down the hallway towards me.

“Hey man.” he says, with a big smile.

Oh I’m about to rip that smug shit off his face. Where the fuck does he get off coming here right now.

“Do you have a death wish?” I ask pushing Justin up against the wall.

“What are you talking about Decker?”

“Don’t you fucking ‘Decker’ me. I’m not your friend.”

“Since when? What the fucks going on?”

“Did you or did you not promise to never hurt my sister?”

Justin fell silent, realizing what this was all about.

“You did, numerous times as I recall. And what did I say to you when you promised me?”

He stayed silent again.

“What did I fucking tell you?” I yelled.

“That you’d kill me if I ever hurt her. But Ryan I didn’t mea…”

“Don’t you fucking try it. I don’t give a shit if you meant to or not. You did. How could you do this to her? How could you say that shit to her and not think she’d be hurt by it?” I ask pushing him against the wall again.

“Ryan I didn’t want to hurt her. I care about her a lot and the last thing she probably wants is to help me figure out this crazy situation and help me raise my daughter. I gave her an easy out. I could tell she didn’t want to do this so I let her go the only way I knew how.”

“By telling her she’d be a horrible mother?”

“I never said that.”

“Oh right you told her she wasn’t really mother material. Isn’t that the same thing?”

“Ryan I said that to let her go. I didn’t mean any of it.”

“Then why’d you say it. Lauren is a strong woman. If she wanted out of the relationship, she would have gotten out.”

“She also has a huge heart and would never leave me like this. So I helped her.”

“She doesn’t need your help. She didn’t want out of the relationship Justin.”

“Then why was she acting so strange during dinner after just meeting Mackenzie and my mom?”

“Are you really that dense? Jesus Justin. She was acting weird because she’s in love with you and it freaked her out. She saw you with your daughter and realized she was in love with you, but couldn’t tell you because now was not the best time.” I sigh, shaking my head, “Then you go and break her heart. I’ve never seen her like this Justin. She’s trying to be strong for me, but I can see through her… You just broke the one thing I had left that was stable in my life. Why would you do that? You don’t make decisions for people. Especially decisions this huge.”

“Ryan, I’m sorry I thought…”

“I don’t give a shit what you thought. Ever heard of talking? It would have saved a lot of heartache… You know what… Stay away from her. I don’t ever want to find out you’ve tried to reach her or see her or I will kill you. I mean it Justin. Don’t test me. She means the world to me and she’s been broken too many times. Get the fuck out of my face.” I say, pushing him out of the way, walking back towards his office.

“I can’t do that.” Justin yells, causing me to stop in my tracks.

I turn on my heels and glare at him, “And why the fuck not?”

“Because I love her.”

“You have got to be shitting me. What the fuck is the matter with you?” I yell and I’m sure you could see the smoke coming out of my ears.

“You know what. You made this fucking bed now lay in it. I don’t give a shit how you feel, you are to never tell her that. Do you understand me?”

“Ryan I can’t not tell…”

“Do you fucking understand me?” I yell interrupting Justin again.

“No.” Justin yells back, “I don’t understand you. I love her Ryan. I’m sorry, but I am going to tell her, because I am going to see her and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it.”

I laugh, “There are plenty of things I can do about it. For instance I could hide her and not tell you where she is, oh wait I’ve done that already, hmm well I could also put a restraining order on you so you would be put in jail if you came within 200 feet of her. You know I can think of a lot of things I could do to keep you from her. My favorite though is kill you if you do go near her.”

Justin grins shaking his head, “You know Ryan, I know you and your sister better than you think. I’m willing to bet my life that she’s in your office right now. I’m also willing to bet there isn’t a judge in the world that would put a restraining order on me. You have no reason for one. And lastly, I’m pretty positive I could take you. So stop throwing all this bullshit at me.” He starts walking towards me, stopping right in front of me.

“Do you want me to tell you what’s really going to happen?” he continued.

“You’re going to turn around and leave the building before I call security to drag you out.”

“Not quite. Your going to go for a walk around the building with my friend back there, Mike. You remember Mike right? While you’re having your walk, I’m going to go talk with Lauren in your office. 10 minutes. That’s all I want. If she still hates me after 10 minutes I’ll leave her alone, but if there’s even a small chance of us even being friends your stuck with me whether you like it or not.”

“I’m not letting you in there.”

“Like I said before, you’re going for a walk with my friend Mike.” Justin says waving Mike over to them.

Mike goes for my arm but I whip my hand up and punch him in the chest. Mike glares at me for a minute before he rams me into the wall with his hand, holding me there by my throat.

“You really should learn to play nice. Have fun on your walk Ryan.” Justin says walking past them to my office.

“Don’t you dare go in there Timberlake. I promise you’ll regret it.” I yell.

Justin stops in his tracks when the door swings open to reveal Lauren. She looked at Justin for a second before turning her attention over to Mike and me.

“Let him go.” she says sternly.

Mike turns towards Justin to see what he wants him to do.

“Don’t fucking look at him. I said let him go. So, Let. Him. Go.”

Justin nods towards Mike to let him go. Mike drops his hold on me and I immediately lunge for Justin, but Lauren pulls him behind her, into the office, causing me to stop in front of her.

“Get out of the way Lauren.” I say through clenched teeth.

“5 minutes Ry. He can’t possibly do anymore damage in 5 minutes right?”

“Lauren you don’t have to do this.”

“5 minutes Ryan. You can time it if you want.”

“I will be.” I say eyeing Justin, as they walk into my office, closing the door behind them.