"JC, where are you," Gentian yelled into the phone. She had called JC to get his side of the story, however, the conversation was not going well because of a lot of noise on the line.

            "I'm at the airport. I'm taking Jive's plane to Orlando," he yelled into the phone. He was climbing the stairs to the Leer Jet. "Hang on." He entered the cabin of the jet and walked to the sitting area in the back. "There, is that better?"

            "Yeah, much. Now what the hell happened between you two? She called and said it was over, to have a good life and she was moving back to North Carolina. Something about a proposal?"

            "Yeah, it went something like that," he said with a heavy sigh. As he waited for the flight crew to finish preparing the plane, he told her his side of the story. "I don't know what I did to freak her out."

            "Well, proposing marriage after the semi-quasi second date would freak someone out," Gentian pointed out.

            "Thanks for the reminder. I thought you were on my side," he replied tartly.

            "I'm on the side of love." He could hear the smile in her voice. "And I see both your sides."

            "And," he probed.

            "Go after her. Make her listen. I know you, you've always been afraid in the past to be tied down. I sometimes think that's why you were in the dead-end relationships you've had. So for you to go and propose marriage, with your grandmother's ring, on the semi-quasi second date tells me that you mean business. And some how you've got to let her know it wasn't because you wanted to into her pants. You may have to move heaven, earth and all in between, but you've got to make her listen." 

            "Hopefully she will have calmed down enough over the next few hours for me to talk to her." He sighed heavily. "How do I keep screwing this up?"

            "Because you're a spazz," she replied with a laugh.

            "Ha ha," he said with a small smile.

            "Because you're in love and love is blind and doesn't have the capacity to think," she said seriously.

            "For once I would like to do something right," he answered back. "Look, we're about to take off so I have to get off this thing. Thanks for the talk."

            "You're welcome. Now go get your bride," Gentian replied before she hung up.

*             *             *             *             *

            Blink… Blink… Blink… Blink… Blink… The red message light kept flashing on the answering machine. Amanda kept staring at it from her seat on the couch. It said she had three messages. The voice mail for her cell phone said it too had three messages. She had no way of telling whom the messages were from, but she knew they were probably from JC. She didn’t want to hear his voice. She turned her attention to the window and stared out the window.

            Ring… Ring… "Hello, this is Amanda, I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a great day!" 

            "Amanda, it's JC." The sound of his voice brought the tears back to her eyes. "If you're there, pick up. Please…" She kept looking out the window. "Ok, so you're either not there or not answering. I'm back in Orlando and on my way over. We need to talk. We have to talk. I still don't understand what happened. Please don't let this end this way. I love you too much. I'll be there soon." He hung up.

            She looked at her watch. She knew she had no more than twenty-five minutes before he arrived. She looked around the apartment. Her shoes were still by the door. Her suitcase just inside the bedroom. She wanted to leave but didn't know where she could go. She didn't have the money for a hotel and knew no one in Orlando well enough to crash at their place. As she turned back to the window, an object on the end table caught her eye. It was a picture of her family at their vacation home on the outskirts of Miami. She smiled. She knew it would be empty. No one rented the house in August; it was just too hot in South Florida. She quickly exchanged a few items in her suitcase, packed up her laptop and headed to her car.

*             *             *             *             *

            It had been two days since she arrived in Miami. She had made only one phone call, to her family. By some small chance, she had gotten the answering machine. She briefly explained she was using the house for the week and that she couldn't tell them why but to trust her.

            She didn't answer the phones those two days either. She had gotten two calls from her family on the line to the vacation home. JC called her cell phone ten times since she had left Orlando. Gentian had called twice. Someone in New York, probably Joey, had called once. 

            She was able to do a lot of thinking over those two days. The repetitive motion of the ocean, the sea breeze and the warmth of the sun beating down on her skin had a soothing effect on her soul. The beach had always calmed her mind and allowed her to think clearly. She had made several decisions about her life. All she needed to do now was follow through with them when she got back to Orlando.

            On the morning of her third day, the house phone rang at 8am. Still half asleep, Amanda picked up the receiver. "Hello."

            "Amanda, please don't hang up," JC answered.
 

            She sat up in bed, pulling her knees to her chest. She took a deep calming breath. "What do you want?" She wanted to hang up, but she fought the urge.

            "We need to talk." She heard the pain in his voice. She didn't understand why, he was the one that hurt her.

            "I would have thought you'd taken the hint by now. Usually when someone doesn't return phone calls it means they don’t want to talk." Her voice was full of ice. "Besides, I have nothing to say to you. We're over and done. Move on, I have."

            "Bullshit," he replied hotly. "If you had moved on, you wouldn’t be in Miami. You'd be back in Orlando and able to face me. You still love me, admit it." JC cursed himself silently. This was not how he envisioned the conversation would go. He was letting his emotions get the best of him.

            "I will do nothing of the sort. I can not admit to anything I do not feel," she said lying through her teeth. She fought hard to not have her voice betray her.

            He sighed. He heard a very small break in her voice. He knew she was lying. He softened his tone. "Fine. Then meet me. Tell me to my face that it's over. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me."

            "No." She couldn't face him, not yet. "There's nothing to discuss. It's over. Please don't call me again," she said. She hung up. She laid back in bed and sighed deeply. The phone rang again. She looked at the caller ID screen. It was JC again. Her hand lingered over the phone. She wanted to pick it up. She wanted to hear his voice. But she resisted. The answering machine picked up. She didn't listen to his message. She changed her clothes and went for a run.

            When she had gotten back from her run, there were three new messages on the machine. She didn't want to listen to him or the phone ring all day. The rest of the day she stayed out on the beach. She had returned to the house only briefly when she needed another book to read.

            That evening, she cooked dinner for herself. She had gotten into a routine the three days she had been there. It was simple. Get up, sit on the beach all day reading and thinking, eat dinner, watch a movie, and go to bed. She wasn't able to find a movie on TV so she pulled out her copy of The Fast and the Furious. She sat there watching the TV but not really comprehending what was happening on it. Then something caught her attention: a song. She concentrated on the movie. It wasn't coming from the TV. She listened more closely. "Did I leave the radio on," she thought. But it didn't sound like it was coming from the bedroom either. She stood up and walked to the screen door. She had left the sliding glass door open so she could hear the ocean and feel the sea breeze. As she approached the door, the song got louder. She froze. The voice was unmistakable. It was JC. She stepped out on to the deck and looked over the railing. He was sitting on the sand dune below with a guitar:

I don't know how it got so crazy
But I'll do anything to set things right
'Cause your love is so amazing
Baby you're the best thing in my life
Let me prove my love is real
And made you feel the way I feel
I promise I would give the world
If only you would tell me girl


The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find a way back to your heart


Give me one more chance, to give my love to you
'Cause no one on this earth loves you like I do,
tell me


The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find a way back to your heart


I'd turn back time
To make you mine
And find a way back to your heart
I beg and plead
Fall to my knees
To find a way back to your heart


The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find a way back to your heart

            She couldn't help but listen. She loved his voice. And it was full of emotion. She heard his voice crack a time or two as he fought to control his feelings. She was mesmerized throughout the whole song.

            "JC, you're going to get yourself arrested," was the first and only thing she could think of to say.

            "'If love is a crime, Then punish me, I would die for you, Cause I don't want to live without you, What can I do'," he replied. She didn't respond. His heart ached at the sight of her standing on the deck. He wanted to touch her, to run up the steps and hold her in his arms, to make her understand. "Can I come up and talk," he finally asked.

            She hesitated. She wanted to talk to him. She needed to talk to him. But she didn't trust herself to be alone with him. She went against her feelings. "How about going out somewhere?"

            "Ok, not exactly private, but ok," he replied.

            He met her at her car a few minutes later. They didn't say much at first. She drove to an all-night diner. It was quiet and the food was decent. They sat in a booth in the back. She looked at him from across the table. He had dark circles under his eyes, looking as if he hadn't slept in days. He watched her. Her skin was darker and her hair had sun streaks. But he noticed the dark circles under her eyes as well.

            "So, I guess you talked with my family," she finally said as she played with her glass of soda.

            "Yeah, it took some doing, but your mother finally gave in. I think she got tired of me calling every hour," he said with a bit of a laugh. She smiled. "I miss that," he said.

            "What," she asked slightly confused.

            "Your smile. It lights up your face."

            "Uh, thanks." There was an awkward silence. "So…"

            "…so. I'd ask how you've been, but I can see the circles under your eyes."

            "Geez, you really know how to flatter a gal," she replied a bit too harshly. She took a deep breath and started again. "Yeah, new bed I guess. You've got the circles too," she pointed out.

            "I know, I've not been sleeping well either. Kinda hard to when you keep thinking about something that's happened but can't figure out why it went wrong," he answered. She didn't respond. "What did happen? I mean, please don't think I'm being a ditz or something, but I really don't understand what freaked you out."

            "JC…" It was the first time she said his name that night and it sounded so sweet coming from her lips. "…Think about it from my perspective. I barely know you the person. Yes, I know JC, the pop superstar, the infatuation of millions world wide, the singer, the producer, but I don't know you. I don't understand how you think or what makes you really happy, what your favorite food really is, whether or not you leave the seat up or down. And you know even less of me. So after our conversation about waiting, for you to go and propose marriage the next day, the only conclusion I can come to is that all you're interested in is a roll in the hay."

            "I didn't mean that, honestly. I'm impulsive. I know what I want and I go for it. And that's what I did with you. I want you. I want everything. You challenge me to be a better person. I want to know how you think. If I could, I would love to bottle that smile and laugh and take it everywhere I go. You make me feel alive. You make me feel like a normal person. So many people treat me like the superstar every day. And don’t get me wrong it's nice from time to time, but after meeting you, I wish more people were like you, treating me as if I was nothing more than the average guy living next door. As much as it frustrates me, I love the way you don't need or want material things as displays of affections. I love how you're not afraid to work hard to get what you want," he said. He stopped when the waitress brought their food.

            "It seems like we have a big problem," Amanda said a minute or two later.

            "What's that," JC asked with curiosity evident in his voice.

            "You and I don't understand each other yet," she answered. JC raised an eyebrow. "Our way of thinking is vastly different and it frustrates or scares us when the other does something totally out of character for our mind sets." JC's confusion showed on his face. "While I thought it was perfectly normal for my reaction to the gifts, you didn't understand. It frustrated you. It was frustrating to me. I've been sheltered. People don't bestow lavish gifts unless they want something. You've got worldly experience. Someone dropping fifty grand for a car for a simple gift is nothing, in your frame of reference." He nodded his understanding. "And for someone who had never really been in any type of relationship, marriage proposal after only two dates is very scary."

            "Why was it scary?"

            "Because I've never felt this way. I've never had to deal with the feelings I'm having. I don't know if they're love, I think they're love, or are they're just physical desire. And then add a marriage proposal and it just freaked me out."

            "I never meant for that to happen. And I've never felt this way before. I know I'm in love."

            "How?"

            "Well, and this may not make any sense, all my other relationships, sex has been nothing more than a way to satisfy a physical desire. It was all about lust, for a lack of a better word. And I think that was part of why I always jumped into it in the past."

            "But what about now? You act as if you can't take your hands off me."

            "I know, but now it’s not just a physical desire. It's also an emotional desire. In the past, I just did it as a physical outlet of energy and stress. Emotionally, I would feel the same way about a one night stand as I did about an ex – just another lay. But now I want to find that intimacy that sex is supposed to bring to a relationship. I want to learn about you. I want you to learn about me. I want to hold you. I want to be able to look into your eyes and know exactly what you're thinking and feeling. That night spent with you, holding you in my arms while you slept, was one of the best nights of sleep I've had in a long time. Before it was a physical need. Now it's an emotional need."

            "Are you sure?"

            "Yes."

            "How?"

            "In all the interviews you've read, how many times had I said I was ready to settle down and get married?"

            Amanda thought. "None that I recall."

            "Exactly. I've never wanted to get married till I met you. I knew almost immediately you were the one. Do you know the reason I broke up with the girlfriends you knew about?"

            "No, while I wondered, I figured if you wanted the public to know, you’d say something.”

            "I broke up with them was because they were pressuring me into marriage. There were times I could barely see myself with them for three months, much less 'till death do us part'."

            "Then why'd you stay with them?"

            "Because it was familiar. Because there were times I thought that maybe I was just being blind and that they were really the one. Because they put up with my career and me so I felt I owed them something. It's something that I will probably never be able to fully explain. Like a lot of things."

            Amanda didn't know how to respond. "Can I ask you something," JC finally said.

            "Uh, sure, only seems fair."

            "Why have you never been in a serious relationship?"

            "Good question. Partly because I'm picky. Partly because I'm insecure. Mostly because I'm afraid of getting hurt."

            "Again?"

            "No. I've never really been in a relationship long enough to know a bad 'hurt'. It's more about society today. I look at all the relationships that go wrong. People, like my parents that separate after twenty-five years of marriage. Three of my best friends from high school have gotten married. Two have already gotten divorced. We've only been out of high school for six and seven years. And, while marriage scares me, it freaked me out even more when you proposed because celebrity marriages are so much more high intensity. I mean, I think I can name maybe two celebrity couples that have been married for more than twenty years."

            "If marrying a celebrity scares you, then why date one?"

            She paused for a moment. "Have you ever had a preconceived notion about something but decided to give it a try anyway because maybe it wasn't what you thought it would be?" JC nodded. "That's kinda where I'm coming from."

            "So you only wanted to date me because I'm a celebrity?"

            "No. It's like I've said before, you're a normal person with an abnormal job, as is the case with any celebrity. But it took me a while after meeting you to start practicing what I was preaching when it came to my feelings. And then it finally hit me, I wanted to date you because I wanted to get to know Joshua Scott Chasez, the guy doing his damnedest to impress me, not because I wanted to be seen with JC from *Nsync. And if eventually we got to that point, we'd get married." 

            "And now?"

            "I've done a lot of thinking the three days I've been down here, especially today, this evening…"

            "And…?"

            She reached across the table and took his hand in hers. "I came to the conclusion that I needed to pack my bags and go home…"

            "Please don't. I don't think I can live with out you," JC interrupted with tears in his eyes.

            Amanda held up a finger making him pause. "Then, after our conversation this morning and our talk tonight, I realized that was not the right decision. I over reacted. And I'm sorry," she said as her voice cracked with emotions. "I really didn't mean to do this to you. And if I could, I'd put things back to where we were. I'm sorry," she said again softly as a tear fell.

            "Don't, this is as much my fault too. If I would stop and think every once in a while, maybe I wouldn't keep doing this type of stuff that makes you upset."

            "No matter, I do know this talk will help us avoid this problem in the future, I hope," she replied pensively.

            "Does this mean what I think it does," JC responded, not quite sure to believe his ears or not.

            "Do I have to spell it out," she asked with a laugh. "I want to give us another chance."

            "Really?"

            "Will you stop questioning this before I change my mind," she said as she stood up slightly and leaned over the table. JC mirrored her actions.

            "I love you," he said just before they kissed.