The next day the doctors released JC. They told him not to do anything strenuous for the next week and to follow up with his doctor. Joey had flown back to New York the previous night so he could make the next scheduled performance of Rent. Justin was flying back to LA that morning. His rehearsals for his VMA performance started the next day. Lance was flying to Mississippi to spend time with his family. Chris, Tyler and Gen were already on their way back to Orlando. Amanda had given them the key to her apartment and they were going to pick up several things and take them to JC’s house. Karen, Roy and Heather were driving back up with the couple.
“You realize that I’m not the one with the bum leg,” JC said as he looked at the wheel chair the nurse had brought to take him to their vehicle.
“Hospital rules. Everyone leaves in a wheel chair.” She answered as she pointed to the chair.
“But….” he protested.
“Jace, just sit your butt down and let her push you out. No sense in fighting, she’s going to win. Give up, I want to go home,” Amanda piped up. She was sitting in a wheel chair with Karen standing behind it. “Karen, is he always this way. Because if he is, I’m seriously going to rethink this whole relationship thing.”
Karen chuckled. “Yes, he is. You should know that by know. And if he weren’t do you think you would be in this relationship. It was his stubbornness that got you two together.”
“Really? I thought it was his poor driving skills.”
“Hey, stop talking about me like I’m not here.”
“Then sit down and let’s get this show on the road,” Amanda replied with annoyance.
JC reluctantly sat in the chair and looked over at Amanda. He heard the tone in her voice but wasn’t sure where it was coming from. She sat with her elbow propped on the arm of the chair and her head resting in her hand. She looked so exhausted and stressed out. He knew the past week had caught up with her and the stress of the argument with her mother had only compounded the situation. He also knew she had talked to her supervisor and the human resources department that morning and had a feeling the conversation had not gone as planned. He planned to talk with her on the drive back to Orlando.
The whole group, including Todd and Lonnie, was ushered to the loading dock by two oversized security officers and the head of security. They were leaving from the back entrance in hopes of avoiding the media circus that had congregated in one of the front parking lots. The hospital would make a statement about JC’s release after they had ample time to leave the area.
They climbed into two SUV’s and drove to a shopping center near by. There they boarded the tour bus JC had rented for the drive back. He felt both would be more comfortable on a bus with couches than in a car or van. After they got settled and on the road, JC walked to the back of the bus where Amanda was stretched out on one of the couches. She had watching a movie on TV at the other end of the couch. He could tell by her glassy stare she was not focused on the movie.
“Hey,” he said as he sat down on the couch opposite of hers. She looked over at him. He saw the pain, exhaustion and stress in her eyes. “You ok,” he asked.
She replied with a yawn. “Yeah, I’m just ready to get back to Orlando.” She turned her attention back to the TV set. They sat in awkward silence.
“Are you mad at me,” he questioned softly.
She furrowed her brow and looked back at him. “No, why would you think that?”
“Um, well, you were a little short with me back at the hospital.”
“Well, you were acting like a child not sitting in the chair,” she replied flatly. There was another long pause. Amanda sighed. Her voice softened, “I’m really tired and just want to veg out for a bit. Can we talk about this later?”
“Why can’t we do it now?”
She took a breath. “Because I’m not ready to talk about this.”
“Why aren’t you ready? Are you breaking up with me?
“No. Why would you even think that?
“Well, you’re annoyed with me. You’ve called me a child. You don’t want to talk.”
“Stop! I can’t even believe you would think that. If I were breaking up with you, I wouldn’t have spent two days by your bedside using every bit of emotional, mental and physical strength and will power to try and get you to wake up. You don’t know what I went through. You don’t know what I’m going through. I’m sorry I’m in a bad mood, it’s been a shitty few days, but guess what, it’s going to happen. And I need you to realize that there are going to be times, like right now, that you can not push me and you have to give me some breathing space.”
“I didn’t realize me waking up was shitty.”
Amanda sighed, nothing was coming out right, “You waking up was the highlight of the past few days. Meeting your family was a highlight. But I’m also dealing with a lot of other things, family, work, an injury that’s got a major recover time.” She stopped. “JC, please, just let me be for a few hours, please,” she pleaded with him.
“But I want to be with you, to help you.”
“JC, please, my life hasn’t been like yours. I haven’t had people constantly around me for years. Having all these people around has been mentally exhausting. Please, I need time to be with my self, to reflect on what’s happened, to plan what needs to happen next.”
“But…”
“JC, there is not but. Please, I am trying very hard not to say anything that is going to damage us, but if you do not stop pushing, we are both going to regret it. I love you, but please, just leave me right now.”
“Fine,” he replied reluctantly. “But this isn’t over.”
“JC, I don’t want it to be over. We need to talk, I know and want that, but right now, it’s more important that I have a couple hours of alone time. I’d be telling this to anyone else right now so please do not take it personally.”
“You better believe I’m taking this personally. I’m trying to get you to open up to me and you keep shutting me down. I know you’re in pain. I know you’re exhausted. I know that you just want to be alone. But this isn’t all about you. What about what me? I need to be with you. I need to talk with you. I need to figure out how to make you better.”
“JC, I don’t need you to ‘make me better’. I’m not someone that needs to be fixed. Yes, I’m in a lot of pain right now. My knee hurts. My shoulder hurts. I’m sore all over, from the car accident, from sitting in hard waiting room chairs, from not finding a comfortable position to sleep in, from being wound so tightly about the prospect of loosing you I thought I was going to implode. And I’m scared. I don’t know if my mother will ever talk to me again. I don’t know if she’s going to keep my father from me as punishment. I don’t know how I’ll pay my bills. I don’t know when I’ll be able to go back to work. Not that it really matters since the pain meds make me so loopy that even if they had something for me, I probably wouldn’t be very good at it. I don’t know if when they do have something if it’ll fit into my PT schedule. I don’t know how much this hospital stay is going to cost me. I don’t have a car and I don’t know how long the insurance company is going to take to get me a check. Not that I can drive right now, so I guess that’s a moot point for the time being. I don’t know if you’re going to have an epiphany and decide that I’m really not the one for you. And I’m exhausted. Physically I feel like I haven’t slept in a year. And emotionally and mentally from all these thoughts running through my head and trying to keep them straight and not letting them make me paranoid. And I didn’t want it to come to this outburst because I hate feeling like I’m nothing more than a weak little girl that can’t control her emotions,” she sobbed. “So, please, when I ask a simple thing of please let me alone for a couple hours, will you please be the supportive and loving boyfriend I need, and do as I ask? Please?”
He kneeled on the floor in front of her and said nothing as the tears trickled from the corners of his eyes. He saw the pain and hurt in her eyes and wished he could say the right thing to make it all go away. He took the sleeve of his shirt and wiped the tears from her cheeks. He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. “I love you,” he said as he stood up and left the room.
JC slumped into the bench at the table by the kitchenette. He rested his chin on his palm and stared out the window at the passing orange grove. His mom sat next to him and wrapped her arm around his shoulder. “What happened,” she asked.
“She’s hurting so much right now but won’t let me in,” he replied as he looked over at her.
“I know, she’s been putting up a façade the past couple of days.”
“But why is she doing that with me? Doesn’t she know I want to be there for her?”
“Josh, just give her some time. She loves you and right now I think that she just needs to decompress. She’s a strong woman and she’s going to survive this.”
“I know. I just… just… Mom, I love her so much. I hate seeing her like this.”
“I know baby, I know,” she replied softly as she ran her hand over his curls as he turned and looked back out the window.
After several minutes, she excused herself and walked to the back of the bus. She peaked in the doorway and could see Amanda on the couch quietly crying. She looked up at Karen with red rimmed eyes.
“Do you want to be alone?”
Amanda shook her head.
“Do you want me to get JC?”
Again, Amanda shook her head.
“Would you like me to sit with you?”
“Do you mind?”
“Not at all,” she replied as she sat down on the couch next to Amanda. Amanda lifted her head and put in Karen’s lap. Karen gently stroked Amanda’s hair as the younger woman continued to cry softly.
“My mom called this morning,” Amanda said quietly. “She said she was very disappointed her only daughter would choose to live with a man before she was married. She said that if I continue with my decision, that I shouldn’t bother to talk to her again.” She took a breath. “And all I could think about was how she conspired with Rosie and JC to get us together. And how supportive she was at first. How she said that if I kept messing with his head that I would loose him. JC even said how she talked about how he could be ‘exactly what I needed’. And it just hurts that she doesn’t trust me or the job she did raising me. I mean, I’m one of the most straight laced twenty-four year olds out there. I don’t smoke. I don’t do drugs. I rarely drink. I don’t sleep around. I mean, I’m not even sleeping with your son and he’s the only man I’ve ever fallen in love with. And if it weren’t for this knee thing, I don’t think we’d be having this discussion. The doctor thinks that by kneeling on it for so long is what’s aggravated it so much and caused so much damage. How ironic is it that the act of saving a life is going to cost me my relationship with my mom.” She closed here eyes as she paused for several moments. She spoke very softly several minutes later, “I love your son Karen, I really do, but there are times that I wish he had never hit me that day.” She signed deeply and slowly.
Karen could tell she had fallen asleep and continued to sit there and stroke Amanda’s hair as she slept. After an hour, she gently lifted Amanda’s head off her lap and placed a pillow under it after she stood up. She walked back up front.
“Why did she talk with you and not me,” JC asked as she grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge.
“I don’t know how much I can or should reveal about what she said, but Josh, she’s got a lot going on right now and I think she needed a mother figure to just listen to, which is something she’s not getting from her own family. Don’t push her to talk. Just be there for her and let her come to you,” she said as she leaned over and placed a kiss on his forehead.
“Thanks mom,” he said as he reached up and gave her shoulders a squeeze. He yawned. “I think I’m going to go lay down. Wake me when we get close to the house.”
He walked to the back and quietly laid down on the couch opposite of Amanda. He settled on his side and faced Amanda. “I love you, please don’t shut me out,” he said quietly in her direction as he yawned. He soon fell asleep. When Karen checked on them a while later, she couldn’t help but notice that they both looked more peaceful than they had in several days. She hoped it would last.
