“Do you think they’re all right in there, they’re being awfully quiet,” Gen said later that afternoon as the two were preparing the food for dinner.

            “I think it’s a good sign,” Amanda replied as she finished seasoning the pork tenderloin she was going to grill.  She recapped her conversation with JC from earlier.

            “Good.  I was beginning to get worried they were going to really ruin their friendship over this.”

            “Yeah, me too,” Amanda said as the two men joined the ladies in the kitchen.  JC approached her from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist.       

            “What is that,” he questioned as she placed the meat into the rotisserie basket.

            “Dinner.  What else would it be,” she asked as she wiped her hands on a towel. 

            “Couldn’t we have ordered out?”

            “No.  You yourself said that you wanted someone that cooked.  Well guess what, I’m her.”

            “When did I say that,” he asked.

            “Wal-Mart parking lot, then you kissed me, remember,” she replied.  JC nodded his head. “Now, be a good man and go put this on the grill,” she said as she handed him their main course.

            “J, we just got this installed the other week, come take a look,” JC said as he took the rotisserie assembly and headed out to the back patio.  Amanda washed her hands, took the margarita Gen handed her and sat at the kitchen table.  As she took a sip, she reached to her left knee and rubbed it absent mindedly. 

            “How’s the knee,” Gen asked as she walked over and sat next to her friend.

            “Ok.  PT kicked my butt today.”

            “Are you going to need surgery?”
            “Nah.  It just usually bothers me after PT or if I step wrong or sleep wrong or stand too long.  Recovery sucks,” she answered with a light laugh as the two guys came back in.  “Did y’all have a good talk,” Amanda asked as Justin sat down with them.

            “Yeah, I think we got everything straightened out,” Justin replied.  “And I think with that song of his, he’ll convince everyone that he deserves his own album.”

            “And we’ll see how much everyone likes it next week.  Dallas and I are going out to LA next week and hit KIIS FM,” JC added as he grabbed a beer from the fridge.

            “Oh, when are you leaving,” Amanda asked as she tried to hide the surprise in her voice.

            “Wednesday or Thursday,” he said as he popped the cap off and took a long draw.  “Can you come?”
            “No, I don’t have any more time off from work.  And if I did, I’d need more notice than a few days. Plus I’ve got PT.”

            “Come on, please can’t you see if you can get out of it.  I really want you to come to LA with me,” JC asked.

            “No JC, we’ve discussed this already, I can not just drop everything on a whim to follow you places.  I have a job.  I now have PT to heal my knee.  Any appointment I miss will put my recovery further behind.  I only have another eight weeks with this job in sales to get back to a hundred percent so I can go back to doing my regular job or I may not have a job at all.”

            “I don’t know why you’re working anyway.  It’s not like I can’t support you,” he muttered.

            “JC, we’ll talk about this later,” Amanda replied icily.  She saw the uncomfortable looks passing between Justin and Gen.  “We’ve got guests.  Let’s not ruin this.”

            “Fine,” JC said as he walked to the patio door.  “I’ll check on dinner.”  Justin followed him.

            “You know, it may be easier if you didn’t work,” Gen said after Justin had closed the door.

            “Gen, I can’t not work.  I have to do something to keep me busy.  I keep telling him but he doesn’t understand what it’s like to have a normal job.  For him, keeping busy is spending the day in the studio and when ever the fancy strikes him, heading off to New York or LA to work in a studio there or go to a radio station.  I realize that’s his job, I just wish he would understand me staying in one place is part of mine,” she rambled.  “It’s different with you and Justin.  You can do your job on the road.  I don’t know of many traveling four star hotels out there,” she finished with a half-hearted smile.

            “I don’t know what to say.  I don’t know of anyone associated with a celebrity that has a normal job,” Gen replied.

             “I know, I just don’t know how to be with him and not compromise my own dreams at the same time.”  Amanda sighed as she gazed out the window to the patio. 

            “I don’t understand why she just doesn’t quit,” JC said to Justin as they stared out across the lake in front of them.

            “Because you’ve never had a normal job,” Justin replied matter-of-factly.

            JC laughed lightly.  “What’s normal?”
            “For her, it’s a nine to five desk job.  For you it’s jetting off to the next party or event or producer or whatever to create or pimp your craft.”

            “But she would have so much fun if she came along.”

            “I don’t know if for her our lifestyle is what she’d consider fun or productive.  If she quits and travels with you, what’s she going to do all day while you’re in the studio or at an event or doing interviews?  Shop?  She’s not like Gen, I don’t think she’s not going to be happy unless she’s working full time.”

            JC took a sip of his beer.  “What if I gave her a job?”

            “What did you have in mind?  Personal Assistant?”

            JC smiled.  “Actually, that’s not a bad idea.  I need someone to keep my life straight, especially if this whole album thing kicks off like I hope it will,” his voice trailed off.

            “Man, that’s so not a good idea,” Justin replied with a shake of his head.

            “Why not?  It’ll give her something to do.  We can travel together.  I think it’s perfect.”  He closed the lid of the grill and walked back inside.

            Amanda looked up from her conversation with Gen and furrowed her brow when she saw the excited grin on JC’s face.

            “So I had an idea,” JC said as he pulled up a chair to Amanda.

            “Ok,” she said drawing out each syllable.  Something about his smile and manner made her uneasy.

            “So, I need an assistant,” JC said excitedly.

            “And where does a celebrity find an assistant,” Amanda asked curiously.

            “Well, I’m hoping right in front of me,” he answered with a bright smile.  Amanda didn’t say a word.  “Think about it, who better to run my life, my schedule, make travel plans, than someone that’s in my life twenty-four/seven and has your background.  I know you’re smart, so you’d be good with the expense stuff as well.”  He paused to take a breath.  “So, what do you say?”

            Amanda paused for a moment before speaking.  “I think that’s something we need to talk about when we don’t have guests,” she replied diplomatically before standing up and walking to the kitchen island. 

            Justin leaned over and whispered softly, “Dawg, I so told you that was not a good idea.”  JC shot him an evil look as he took a draw from his beer.

            Despite the tension that remained after the conversation, the two couples had a good time that evening.

*        *        *        *        *

            “Come in,” she said when there was a knock on her door later that night.  She didn’t turn around as she picked up another tee-shirt to fold. 

            “Hey babe, you coming to bed soon,” she heard JC ask as he entered the room.  “What are you doing,” he asked with confusion in his voice as he surveyed the open suitcase next to the bed and saw her place the yellow shirt she had folded into the suitcase.

            “My physical therapist said it’s ok for me to climb steps on a regular basis so I think it’s time for me to go back to my apartment,” she said calmly as she turned to face him.  She saw the puzzled look on his face as he stood just in the doorway dressed in a tee-shirt and plaid pajama bottoms.

            “I don’t understand,” he said with hurt evident in his voice.  “Does this have anything to do with what happened to us earlier?”

            Amanda bowed her head slightly.  She couldn’t take the hurt she saw in his eyes, “Not fully.  I just think we need a bit of space,” she tried to explain.

            “What does that even mean?  We live in a house with thousands of square feet.  How much more space do you need?”  He was trying his best not to raise his voice.

            “JC, you knew this was temporary until I got back on my feet,” she said as she sat down on the edge of the bed.  “And I haven’t been able to talk with my family in a month because every time I call, my mom hangs up on my when I say I’m still living here.”

            “So once again this is about your mother,” JC stated with agitation as he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms across his chest.

            “Partly.”
            “Seems more than just partly to me. That woman is going to continue to run your life if you let her,” he replied with anger tingeing his voice.

            “JC, this isn’t about my mom.  It’s my dad, my grandparents.  None of them can or will talk with me.  And I miss them.  I also need you to understand and realize that I am who I am.  Offering me a job working for you was way out of line.  It hurt and made me feel cheap.”

            “Why?”

            “Because I don’t feel like you value me for who I am,” she replied.  “You still haven’t gotten it, have you?  I need to, want to work.  I want to feel like I’m a contributing, productive member of society, not someone riding the coat tails of another.  I can’t just follow you around from city to city and sit in hotel rooms watching soap operas while popping bon bons all day.”

“I don’t know what to say to that other than I want to show you my world.  I want to travel with you.  I want to show you some of the sites I’ve seen.  I want you to be near me.”

            “I get that JC, I do, and if you give me enough notice, I can work something out at work.  But I can’t just go and drop everything to fly to LA on a weeks notice.”  She paused.  “And I want to date.”

            JC felt like the wind was knocked out of him.  “So you’re breaking up with me,” he replied hoarsely.

            Amanda furrowed her brow.  “Huh?  Why is it every time we have a discussion that doesn’t go the way you want it do you think I’m trying to break up with you.  Are you that insecure about how I feel about you?”

            “You were the one that said you want to ‘date’,” JC replied tearsley.

            “Yes, I want to date you,” she replied with a light smile as relief washed over his face.  “Jace, think about our time together, we’ve had one actual date.  ”

            “But we do go out, we went out to dinner and a move just a few days ago,” he pointed out.

            “Yeah, a ‘hey, you didn’t go to the store so we don’t have anything to cook for dinner so let’s go eat at the pizza place and while we’re there, we’ll decide to catch a movie’ outing.  I want dates.  I want to schedule something, have the two of us dress up, you pick me up at my place, possibly with a nice bouquet of flowers, and go out to dinner or the movies or a show or something like that.  I want wooing.  But due to circumstances, we’ve fallen into this semi-quasi cohabitation thing.”  She took a breath.  “And while I’m enjoying playing house with you, I really wonder if we’ve skipped important steps to build a good foundation to our relationship.”

            “So you’re doubting our relationship?”

            “No, I’m not saying that.  I’ve never done this before.  And I want to be sure we’re doing this right so we’re not doubting ourselves next year or in five years.”

            “I don’t understand.  I love you, that’s all I need to know.”

            “And I love you too, please don’t hear this as I don’t.  But we need to be sure our lives are compatible.  If we hadn’t been in that accident, I don’t know that you’d understand my relationship with my mother.  And right now that’s a bit of a bone of contention between us.”

            “So?  That’s your mother, not us.”

            “Yeah, but I am the way I am because of her. This drive to be successful, to work my ass off, comes from wanting to get out of her house as quickly as possible.  And that’s another thing.  I can’t keep fighting with you over traveling and work. I’ve got to have you understand that I have to work.  It’s part of who I am, and if you can’t understand and respect that, then we’re not going to make it.”

            “Am I such a bad person that I want to be near the woman I love, to share with her my life?”

            “No, you’re not.  But you’re not being supportive with all the comments about the ability to financially support me.  I get it, you’re rich.  Hell, with the money I spent on concert tickets, CD’s and merchandise, I’ve probably bought a light fixture in this house,” she replied with a halfhearted attempt at humor.  “But look at what I have agreed to.  I’m only going to work one job with no overtime.  You’ve bought me the car to replace mine.  You pay when we go out.  I’m letting go. I’m adjusting.  I just don’t know how much more I can bend now with out breaking.”

            “So you’re leaving,” he asked sadly.

            “I’m going to where we would be if we hadn’t been in that accident,” she answered as she crossed the room and stood in front of him.  She looked imploringly into his eyes.

            He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “When are you leaving?”

            “When I get home from work tomorrow,” she answered as she continued to look at him.  He still had his arms crossed over his chest but the tension in his body had lessened.  She took his hands in hers and uncrossed his arms.  She took a step closer and cupped his face with her hands.  She could see the pain and confusion in his eyes.  “We’re going to be alright.  I just need this.”

              He rested his hands on her hips.  He gave them a light squeeze as he pulled her to him and rested his forehead on hers. He breathed in the scent of her hair.  It, combined with the light perfume she always wore, always had a calming effect for him.  “I’m not happy about this.  But if it’s what you need, I can’t stand in your way.  And I don’t know how I’m going to sleep without you next to me,” he said finally and brushed his lips against her skin.

            The corners of her lips turned up slightly.  “I know.  I’m going to miss that too,” she said.  She placed her lips softly on his and buried her fingers in his curls.  JC wrapped an arm around her back and rested it just under the hem of her shirt and slid the other to the back of her neck.  He pulled her tight against him as he teased her lips with the tip of his tongue.  As she let out a light moan when he ran his hand under her shirt and grazed her smooth skin lightly with his fingers, he caressed the tip of her tongue through her parted lips. She opened herself fully to his exploration and pressed herself completely against him.  They kissed with passion.  They kissed with urgency.  They kissed with a sense of loss.

            “Please don’t go,” he whispered in her ear as he kissed and nipped at the pulse point on her neck.

            “I have to, for us,” she replied breathlessly just before he picked her up and carried her to the bed.  

            “Then I get one more night with you,” he said as he threw back the covers and laid her on the bed.  He climbed in next to her and pulled her close.  She turned out the light and they continued to kiss and caress till they fell asleep.

*        *        *        *        *

            JC helped her pack her car the next evening.  Not everything fit into the Mercedes convertible he had bought for her and he ended up bringing the rest over in his Jeep.

            “You know, these don’t look as good as they did in my closet,” he said lightly as he helped hang her clothing in her closet.  “Sure you want to deprive them of living in a handcrafted closet?”  The clothes Gen had got her in New York had been delivered to JC’s house shortly after they came back from Miami.  Amanda had to commend Gen’s choices; she had good taste and knew what would work well with her body.  As much as she hated to admit it, she had been enjoying wearing the designer clothes over the past month.

            “Yes, because clothes really care where they’re hanging.”  She began arranging the shoes on the floor.

            “Well, I think they do,” he said as he held the sleeve of a purple top to his ear.  “Um hmmm, yes, I hear you.  I totally agree you should be living at my house.  Yes, I know this is a down grade.  Yeah, yeah, ok, I’m trying,” he finished.  He looked at Amanda.  “Purple blouse says she will commit fashion suicide if you make her live here.”  Amanda just shook her head at him.  He threw up his arms in defense.  “Hey, her words, not mine,” he replied with a smile before reaching out and pulling Amanda towards him.  A serious expression passed over his face.  “Are you sure about this?”

            Amanda took a deep breath.  No, she wasn’t sure.  But she also wasn’t sure staying at JC’s was the answer either.  She didn’t want to be alone in the apartment.  She knew already she was going to miss his companionship.  She was enjoying coming home to someone after along days work.  But she also felt they were moving too quickly.  She wanted to slow down and not get any deeper than they already had.  They were getting more and more intimate every day and she was finding it very hard to stop things before they went too far.  While he never expressed it to her, she saw and felt JC’s frustration when they put on the brakes.  She hoped living in separate households would ease their temptations.  She looked at him and nodded.  “We’re almost finished.  Do you want to order pizza or something,” she asked as she hung up the pair of jeans JC handed her.

            “Sure,” he said as they exited the closet.  “I’ll go rent a movie.”  He pulled his keys from his pocked and grabbed Podge’s leash.  The puppy jumped up from her bed in the corner when she heard him pick the leash up.

            As he walked out the door, she quickly logged online and placed their usual order.  She then picked up the phone and stared at the number pad.  Eleven digits, that’s all she had to dial.  Eleven digits was all that stood between her and her family.  She wanted to talk to her dad.  She missed him and their conversations.  Of everyone in the world, he was the one that understood her the most.  She dialed the numbers and began counting the rings.  One… Two… Three…

            “Hello,” her mother’s voice came across the line.

            “Hi mom,” she replied softly.  “How are you?”  She held her breath as she waited for her mother’s answer.  All she heard was silence for ten seconds.  “I just wanted to let you know that PT’s released me to climb stairs and I’ve moved back into my apartment.  So anytime you want to talk, you can call me here now, too.”  She waited.  Again, more silence.  Tears streamed down her cheeks but she didn’t allow her voice to crack.  “And, in case you’re wondering, your daughter’s virtue is still intact.  I’ve kept my promise as I told you I would.”  More silence from her mother.  Amanda could barely keep the tears out of her voice.  “So um, give my love to everyone and I hope to talk to you soon.”  She paused for several seconds before she hung up the phone and threw it forcefully into the couch.  She had done it.  She went crawling back to her mother as she always did.  And this time she felt worse than she ever had.