“Guys can you turn off the TV, Justin and I need to talk to you.” We walk into the family room where the girls were busy watching Hannah Montana. I look over at Ali who has just curled her legs on the sofa; she seems so stressed, like she’s carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. She’s only 11 she shouldn’t have to contend with the death of her father and the loss of her mother, it’s not fair. I mean it wasn’t fair for me at only 6 but at least I had dad this definitely isn’t fair on her now. Kayla seems so oblivious to the situation around her, even though Dr. Moody explained to her that she wouldn’t see Collin again, she just stared blankly at the therapist and said ‘Like mommy’. It broke my heart to think that my 3-year-old niece thought that Collin left her voluntarily, like that bitch. She hasn’t even made an effort to contact us-I mean what am I suppose to do in this situation? Everything is happening so fast and I think it’s stating to take its toll on our relationship.

Justin tries to keep his distance from me as he sits on the leather chair at the opposite end of the room and I can still feel the tension between us, even after I’ve said sorry. At this point I’d miss a heartbeat if he’d just hold me close, but he doesn’t- not that I blame him. I have been quite moody but I’ve been under a lot of stress lately, even before all this. I can instantly see the stacks of files building up on my desk and the amount of hours it’ll take me to read them. I clear my throat and try to sound in control of the situation but as I open my mouth I’m almost at the verge of tears. ‘Get a grip, Arianna’ I shake myself and start again.

Justin almost sensing the tears gets up from his distant seat and pulls me down on the large couch with him, which makes Kayla laugh and immediately the tension is gone between us. I love that about us. We have these wipe out moments where we clean the slate and start fresh, it’s what keeps us going.

“Girls your Auntie and I have to ask you some important questions.” Justin hugs my waist tightly.

“We know that you’re young but we want you to make some mature decisions.” I add allowing Justin to take the lead on this situation.

“So Grand-ma Carter gave us some options for living arrangements for you guys. So pay close attention ok. Option one Ali she wants you to go live with her while Kayla you go live with Uncle Jared and Auntie Tina or...” He paused trying to gauge Alana’s response but she just looks blankly at us so Justin continues. “Or Ali you can go live with Uncle Jamie and Uncle James and Kayla you can live with Grand-ma Carter.”

“I don’t care.” Alana replies coldly and turns up the volume but Kayla seems confused.

“We haven’t finished yet.” I whisper and for a moment I see a glimmer of hope on Ali’s face, she isn’t all lost after all I reassure myself.

“Or you guys can come live with us in LA” he smiled squeezing me even tighter “together.” Kayla’s mood instantly changes and is jumping on the coach like her favourite show is about to start.

“We get to stay together?” She sings.

“Only if you want to.” I bite my lip praying that they want to. As much as I know how hard this situation is going to be, I’d be damned if I never did the best I could for them, even if it means quitting Burnley & Co, I’d gladly move back to Florida for them and start over.

“I want to live with you!” Shouted Kayla jumping into Justin’s arms and resting her tiny legs on my lap, this is the family I guess.

“Ali what do you want to do?” I giggle kind of hoping she’d be excited too.

“I said I don’t care. LA or Florida it’s still going to be shit.” I’m shocked to say the least but I knew Alana had a dirty mouth I just didn’t think she would use it with us, that’s stupid I know swearing is swearing but I’d never think about swearing in front of my father, not if I valued my life, I didn’t.

“Alana you cannot continue swearing.” Justin said calmly but sternly.

“You’re not my fucking father!” She shouted storming up the stairs and slamming her bedroom door.

“Kayla baby can you go up to your bed room your Auntie and I need to talk” She grabbed his shirt refusing to let go.

“C’mon Kayla we’ll be two minutes ok. Please we just need to talk.”

“I’ll cork my ears” Bless her little heart she pressed her tiny hands to her ears. “See I can’t hear.” She shouts emphasising the fact that she really couldn’t hear.

“She” Justin stops me, picking Kayla up and putting her into her bedroom returning a few seconds later.

“We need to be consistent with both of them.” And my heart flutters as I watch a new paternal side of Justin starting to develop right in front of my eyes it’s kind of sexy if I’m honest, who knew he had a little mother hen in him.

“Right sorry” I whisper resting my body on his stomach. We’re silent as we just breath and it’s almost weird that or breathing comes in sync with each other.

“Oh right” He jumps causing me to miss a breath “so- I spoke to Trace, he found a great place in West Hollywood a 5 bedroom 8 bathroom house”

“West Hollywood J c’mon that’s crazy money plus I love the neighbourhood we live in now, it’s so quiet.” That and I really can’t be bothered to repack all of our possessions on my own like I did last time. Oh no, I don’t think I’ll forget that bit anytime soon. He asked me to move in with him about the same time he decided to move wanting a studio for himself forgetting the small detail of his European leg of the tour. I spent the good part of 2 weeks wrapping, boxing, labelling and unpacking BOTH our stuff. Not to mention his secret stash of porn that he so craftily hid in the DVD cabinet. When will they learn? I wasn’t planning on doing the packing and unpacking routine again any time soon, not if I could help it I wouldn’t. 

“Ari it’s only 22 and the girls need their own room.” I know he didn’t mean 22 million.

“Do we have to move?” I whine I know it’s not a good look on me but at this point I’ll do just about anything. There is no way I want to move into the middle of shutterbug central.

“Ari-the girls need their own rooms, Ali is getting to that age when she needs her own space and when mom comes to visit she needs a room and a spare just in case a visitor stops by.”

“Your studio is finally complete baby and the time it takes to the office every morning- West Hollywood is like...” I’m controlling the situation again but I really don’t see the need to move to a photo booth part of the city and spend an additional $4 mill on a house, well mostly him but I guess I’ll be chipping in too damn it.

“You really don’t want to move?” He knits his eyebrows together trying to read the expression on my face.

“Baby I hate even the idea. Plus we have the girls to think about, I don’t want their pictures plastered on every magazine.” I can almost see the elaborate titles above our pictures, ‘the not so pretty family portrait’ digging through the trash for Ali’s report cards, oh the field day they’ll have with that. “Wouldn’t it be better if we just put maybe an extension on the east wing of the house?”

“Oh” he smiles and I know he wishes he thought about that because he smiles even harder kissing my forehead. “Yeah that is actually a good idea. I’ll get some contractors on it. Maybe even an extra-extra room.” He rubs my stomach and I brush his hands away quickly knowing what it means.

“J- We’re going to have our hands full with Ali as it is a baby is the last thing we should be thinking of and I refuse to be knocked up without a ring.” That sounds very hypocritical because I don’t believe in marriage but I also have very strong conservative values, blame that on my dad- I think.

“Is that right? Well we already have children.”

He laughs but the mood is already ruined by the remembrance of the disaster of finalising Collin’s funeral arrangements, trying to arrange legal guardianship for both girls praying that no one contests it as well as trying to maintain an already fragile relationship. Yes Justin and I have been together for over 3 years now but we’re still trying to find the ‘groove’ as he likes to call it and children will always put a strain on any relationship. I know that sounds selfish but it’s the honest truth. I’d never leave those girls destitute but this is definitely going to be hard- but at least I’m semi prepared, nothing can get any worse that what it is already right?

“We can do this Ari. C’mon this is me and you, remember team unstoppable.” He wouldn’t make me live down that sugar rush while watching Disney one night.

“Justin- we’re too young. We hardly have time to take care of Bailey and Sheba- 2 children?”

“Arianna I don’t think we really have a choice at this point unless you really want Ali and Kay to stay with Mrs Carter and that twisted son of hers.”

“I know separating them isn’t going to be an option- so hopefully everyone will see the sense of the girls staying with us.”

I take a quick glance over to the man that I have shared everything with for the last 3 years and for a second it feels as if we’re parents. I notice a look of worry wash over Justin. Though he doesn’t realise that I’ve seen it he quickly suppresses it and rubs my shoulder instinctively, trying to push that thought, whatever it is away from his cool exterior.

“What is it baby?” Curiosity getting the better of me- I try and figure out what could scare him. He looks at me ad smiles trying to brush it off by planting a gentle kiss on m forehead and then returns his attention to the commentator’s analysis of some jump shot- that I have yet to understand. “Justin c’mon what is it- you know that I won’t stop annoying you til’ you answer me”  

“The courts- aren’t they going to take into account both our professions are hectic?”

“Yeah but I mean its in Collin’s Will, he wants me...at least to take care of his girls ‘should anything go wrong’.”

“Yeah well it did. How are we going to protect them from this crazy ass life? It’s no even like they have a choice in this matter- I mean is that fair on them? Ari they never asked to be Justin and Arianna’s daughters. What’s going to stop people from trying to get close to Kay to get to us?”

“I know J, but...we just have to trust that the girls are smarter than that.”

“Yeah- well hopefully it won’t have to come to that.” He mumbles returning his attention to the screen directly in front of him and once again I’m the one left with these stupid and random thoughts.