The more time I spent with Justin the more I was falling in love with him. I know it’s ridiculous for me to think that way, but it’s true. He really is perfect. The day went by so fast, probably because I wasn’t feeling so awkward and was actually able to speak. He even said I was funny. He seems to appreciate my sarcasm. I just feel comfortable around him, it’s like he has one of those personalities that just makes you feel comfortable.  I didn’t spill any more beverages, and I only fell off the chair once in the afternoon. That’s impressive for me. Justin still laughs, but it’s not like he’s making fun of me. Honestly, he has such a sexy laugh I’d almost fall on purpose to hear it.

         When Bella came into our department I was just getting my things together. Justin pulled his jacket on and gave Bella a weird look, which confused me just a little. “Well, you girls have fun. Bells call me later,” he said before turning to me, “And I’ll see you tomorrow. I have a feeling it’ll be a late night tomorrow, so be prepared,” he smiled.

          I smiled back, not exactly sure what to say, “OK, bye. Thanks for your help.”

         “Great, bye,” Bella grabbed onto my arm and pulled me into the elevator before he could respond. Gosh, we were having a moment.

         We went to the mall and Bella did her best to pick out some outfits for me without flat out saying I have no style. She’s really nice, and very good with the whole style thing. Or so far I guess, I mean everything looks good on the hangers but I kind of doubt they’ll look good on me.

         She sat outside of my little door of the fitting room and I felt like that was a good time to ask her about her relationship with Justin since she couldn’t see my reaction. “So… how long have you been with Justin?”

         “Been with Justin?” she sounds confused, “Like dating?” she giggled, “Oh no, god no. He’s my brother.”

         “He’s your brother?” I think I just about shouted that one.

         “Yeah, my little brother. I’m married, not to my brother. I just got married about a year ago and I’m pregnant.”

         “You’re pregnant?” she does not look pregnant.

         “Yeah, just three months.”

         “Oh, well wow. Congratulations.”

         “Yeah, thanks. I’m scared shitless” she laughed. It’s very possible she kept talking but I’m too focused on the fact that she’s not dating Justin. That just made me scream inside… or at least I hope it was just inside that I was screaming.

         “So… who is Justin dating?”

         “No one…” she laughed again, “Are you interested in my little brother?”

         “No!” I answered quickly, in that tone that makes it completely obvious that I am, “Not at all.”

         “OK,” she laughed. Great job Melanie. I just made it so clear that I’m madly in love with her brother. Now she’s going to go home and tell him and he’s going to freak out and ask Jackass Blanks to put him on another project so he doesn’t have to work with his creepy stalker.  “Come on out Mel, it should not be taking this long.”

         I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror. I actually look almost hot. These are clothes that actually fit, but they’re not slutty or anything either. She’s kind of a genius, and I like her so much more now that she’s not dating the love of my life. I still am a little scared to show her though; I’m not exactly comfortable with what I’m wearing. I took one more deep breath before stepping out to hear her scream. She literally screamed.

         “Oh my god! Melanie, look at you! I love it, do you love it?” her hands were brought to cover her mouth.

         “Yeah, I kinda do love it.”

         She laughed, “You have to get it, turn around for me. Oh gosh, I love it. Alright, that goes in the yes pile, try something else on.”

         I know there is a smile on my face that is not going to go away. This day started off being one of the worst of my life and now it’s getting to be the best. Talk about a change of events.  “You’re going to be a good mom.”

         Bella laughed at that, but I didn’t mean it as a joke, “Why would you say that?”

         “You have that motherly quality. It’s a good thing.”

         “Well thank you.”

         “Your welcome.”

         I ended up buying like 10 new outfits. We won’t even talk about how much money I spent. Then we went to Sephora and I bought like two hundred and fifty dollars worth of makeup. I never knew how to wear makeup, like I’m not a complete moron. I use like foundation, but the lady there gave me a whole new makeover and taught me how to do everything.  Now I feel like a completely different person.

         The next morning I woke up early enough to fix my hair and do all my new makeup. I put on the new outfit, complete with heels, that I’m horrible walking in. That was probably a bad idea, since I can hardly work barefoot since I’m so clumsy but they’re not too bad yet.  I looked myself over in the mirror before I left. I look kind of hot. Gosh, where was Bella when I was in high school or at least college. I could have used her help back then, that’s for sure. It would have saved a lot of embarrassing moments.

         I was running a little late so by the time I got into the office Justin was already shrugging his coat off at his desk. I walked by quickly, suddenly feeling real self-conscience. I probably look like a complete fool in this pencil skirt, or like a little kid playing dress up in her mother’s clothes.

         “Mel, is that you?” I heard Justin’s voice and looked up instead of looking where I was going so I banged my leg on the end of the desk. Of course. Dammit, that hurts, “Yeah, it’s you,” he let out a quick chuckle, “Are you alright?”

         “Not really, it fucking hurts.”

         Justin smiled as he looked down at my leg, “I’ll get you some ice, why don’t you go in the conference room awhile?”

         I nodded my head and wobbled into the room. He’s very sweet and thoughtful, that’s for damn sure. I love him. Before, it was stupid because I didn’t know him but now that I know him it’s true. That sounds really weird, I swear I’m not a stalker.

         “Here you go Trippster,” he placed a plastic bag of ice on my leg.

         “Thank you,” I smiled as I held onto the ice.

         “Yeah, no problem. You’ll be alright,” he said with that sexy half smile he has, “I see you had fun with my sister last night.”

         I nodded my head, “I did.” I’m getting hot again, like the kind that I swear I’m turning bright red. Every time I think I’m normal and comfortable enough to have an actual conversation with this man I start to really think about it and get nervous and awkward.

         “Good. I like it, do you like it?” I nodded my head and he nodded his too, “Well, good that’s all that matters. I think you look great though.”

         Now I know I’m smiling, he just said I look good… no great. I grabbed my folder so I could hide the smile and act like it didn’t mean as much as it really does that he said that to me.

         “Hi!” Justin’s voice made me look up to see Bella standing by the elevator. He waved back at her and rolled his eyes, “She’s ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous.”

         I laughed as I waved at her, if I didn’t know any better I’d say Justin is getting a little embarrassed by his sister. I don’t know how he could be, but it’s kinda cute.  The remainder of the workday was spent working on this stupid project. There’s so much involved in this stupid thing, Blanks should have told me about it a month ago instead of three days before it’s due.

         “Oh god,” Justin said as he threw his pencil on the table and stretched his arms over his head, “We need a break. Are you hungry?”

         “Yeah,” I nodded my head before looking at the time on the laptop in front of me, “But it’s seven, that cafeteria is closed.”

         “I was thinking more like we could go somewhere.  How about Croma?”

         Oh my god, breathe. Deep breaths. Justin just asked me to go to dinner, as in like… a date? No. Totally not as a date. It’s kind of a date, I mean two people going to dinner. But we’re working together, we need to eat, and the cafeteria is closed. We could have ordered pizza or Chinese though, he said Croma, which is on Newberry Street and like a fancy, date-ish restaurant. OK, I need to stop thinking about everything because that gets me even more nervous.

         “Croma is good.”

         “Cool, let’s go, I’m starving,” he smiled before standing up and holding the door for me so we could get our jackets, “How’s your leg doing?”

         “Oh, it’s fine. I’ve had a lot worse.”

         Justin chuckled, “I bet. Your black and blue seems to be gone, on your forehead.”

         “It’s makeup,” I said as I touched my forehead… and I probably should not have told him that. I think makeup is one of those things that girls are supposed to keep quiet. Guys are supposed to think we’re just naturally beautiful and we don’t need makeup. Well, I definitely screwed that one up.

         These heels aren’t anywhere near as hard to walk in as I thought they would be. Bella promised me that they wouldn’t be that bad, and they’re really not. I think she found some kind with like extra padding because I usually can’t deal with heels. I have tried before.

         “It’s pretty cold out,” Justin’s voice woke me from my thoughts.

         “Yeah, it’s been real cold lately,” I answered softly. This is good for me; usually I would have just nodded my head.  I said a whole six words, I’m becoming a professional.

         “Is Croma alright? We could go somewhere else, I just figured it’s closer.”

         “Croma is great,” well I’m sure it’s great. I’ve never been there, but I’ve heard good things. I’m just still kind of in shock that I’m even walking down the street with Justin. It’s kind of like my life is almost going to turn out all right.  Of course, being that I still am a complete klutz, right as I’m thinking about how this whole situation isn’t as awkward as I thought it would be I managed to slip on a patch of black ice. I twisted my ankle and I’m sure looked like a complete fool as I slid down.

         “Whoa,” Justin caught me. Gosh, why is he so perfect. He held me in his arms so when I opened my eyes he was smiling down at me, “Gotcha. You alright?” I nodded my head because it was difficult to form words at that moment. I feel like I’m living a dream… or a scene from a movie or something. He cannot seriously be this perfect. “You’re going to have to keep me around so I can keep saving your life.”

         “Thank you,” I answered with a laugh.

         “Yeah, no problem. You keep me on my feet, that’s for sure. I’m going to hold on to you though, there’s ice all over.” Justin placed his arm around my waist as we walked two buildings over to Croma. God, I wish I had slipped right outside of the office. He’s so warm, and surprisingly enough I don’t feel awkward with his arm around me. It feels kind of amazing.

         Justin put his hand on the small of my back as we were brought to our table. He even pulled out the chair for me. I didn’t know people actually did that. After we ordered there were a few seconds of silence. I was actually surprised, since he said yesterday that he talks too much. It’s almost like he looks a little nervous… ok obviously he’s not nervous.

         “So, do you break a lot of bones then?” he asked before taking a sip from his water.

         “Yes, just about every bone.”

         Justin laughed as he grabbed a piece of bread from the basket, “I broke my foot once playing basketball when I was in high school. It sucked, I was out for half the season my senior year.”

         “That does suck,” I agreed, “I broke my foot once when I was vacuuming.”

         He threw his head back when he laughed this time, it’s adorable, “I’m sure that’s a good story.”

         “Um, not really,” I shrugged, “I was just listening to music too loud and dancing around. I wasn’t paying attention and I tripped, obviously big surprise, and got my foot caught between the couch. Well like under it, who knew that was possible. I like heard it snap. It was kind of cool actually.”

         “Cool huh?” he chuckled, “Didn’t that hurt?”

         “Yeah, but not right away. It took a couple minutes to sink in; I was kind of in shock. But I have a strong threshold of pain.”

         “I’ll have to remember that,” he said with that crooked smile he has.

         The rest of dinner was pretty amazing. I think I’m actually at the point that I don’t have to think everything over three times before I actually say it out loud in front of Justin. That’s a good sign… a very good sign. After dinner we went back to the office, and for the record yes, Justin did have his arm around me the whole way so I wouldn’t fall. We didn’t really talk, but it wasn’t awkward silence, it was comfortable silence.

         We made it back to the conference room and managed to finish up the project without spending the whole night there. I really wanted to spend the time talking to him about just about anything other than this stupid place, but we both managed to stay on topic.

         “Alright, so I guess we just need to staple…” I looked up at him and noticed for the first time that he had some tomato sauce on his navy blue button down shirt. “You have a stain on your shirt,” I don’t know if I should have told him or not.  I don’t want to embarrass him but if he doesn’t take care of it then it might stain.

         Justin looked down at his shirt and laughed, “I see, you’re not the only klutz.”

         I nodded my head, “Well that’s good to know. It makes me feel better, I have a stain stick in my purse,” I said as I grabbed my purse and managed to get it out without spilling all of the contents of my purse all over the place. Seriously, I’m getting really good at this. 

         “Can you get it? I can’t really see it,” Justin asked as I nodded my head and moved closer to him. Ok, deep breath. I put the stain stick over the stain and waved my hand in front of to it would dry. “You got it?”

         I nodded my head, “Yeah, it’s all gone.”

         “Good,” he smiled looking right into my eyes. Oh god, he looks like he’s going to kiss me. Oh god, I can’t deal with that. I can’t breathe, oh god, now he’s tilting head and moving closer. I feel like I’m going to….

         I ran to the bathroom just in time to throw up in the toilet. Oh my god, please tell me this is not happening. I did not just ruin the night. Justin fricken Timberlake, the man I’ve been obsessed with for the past year, actually was going to kiss me. And how do I respond? I run away and into the bathroom to throw up in the toilet! Who does that? Who is so stupid to do that? Who is a twenty five year old finally about to get her first kiss with someone like Justin and runs away? Me. ME. ME!

         I fell to the floor of the stall, trying to figure out a way to get out of the building without actually having to walk through the office and see Justin. I could sneak out; except my purse is right next to Justin and I need my keys. Gosh, I knew I should have a spare key on a necklace or something for situations just like this. OK, so there’s never been a situation like this before. In fact I’m pretty sure I’m the first person in history to throw up before the guy I’ve had a crush on for the past year is about to kiss me!

         “Well fuck,” I heard Justin’s voice and could feel myself sweat. Why is he here? He’s not supposed to come in the women’s bathroom. “That’s the first time I’ve gotten that reaction.”

         I actually laughed a little. It was one of those weird laughs that I really just want to cry, “It’s not you.”

         “Do I make you nervous?”

         “Everything… makes me nervous,” I answered honestly.

         “Well… try not to be so nervous,” he tapped on the stall door, “Can you come out?”

         I took a deep breath and managed to get up and clean myself up before opening the door to see his smiling face. “I’m sorry.”

         “No, no don’t be sorry. It’s my fault, we were moving too fast. We’ll go slow, that’s better. Let’s get our jackets so we can go home, it’s been a long day.” Gosh, he’s so understanding and perfect. Have I mentioned perfect?

         He walked me to my car, this time holding my hand so I wouldn’t slip on the ice. I should have let him kiss me; I really, really want to kiss him.  He’s just so cute and he’s sweet and he’s watching out for me so I don’t trip again. Seriously, that’s what I need, someone to look out for me. And it helps enormously that he’s so fucking gorgeous.

         “So I’ll uh… see you tomorrow. Sorry about… before. I wasn’t thinking and I,” he stopped nervously, “No hard feelings, alright?”

         Hard feelings? I totally scared him away. It was a kiss; I should be able to kiss him. I want to kiss him. GOD, I need to stop having all these inner crises and stop fucking over thinking everything and just do it. I took a deep breath and stood up on my tippy toes and pressed my lips against his. His lips are so soft and tastes so good. He stepped closer, pushing me against the car and giving me the most perfect kiss ever. Justin pulled back with a smile on his face and I know for a fact that I had a smile about twice as big as his on my face.

         “Well then,” he laughed, “That was… nice, thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

         “OK, bye Justin.” I can’t believe I just did that. I can’t believe that just happened. I just want to kiss him again; I want to kiss him forever.

         “Bye Mel,” he held onto the door as I got in, “Drive safely, sweet dreams.”