My headphones blare as I lay on the floor of the hotel room, legs pushed up against the wall with my feet taping against it. ‘Babe I’m Going To Leave You’ may not be the sentiment I’m feeling right now, but the melody always gets to me, sending shivers up and down my arm. Justin has decided to go with Trace to some restaurant that’s opening so I have a few hours to myself. The hairs on my arm stand up in a good way when the door to the room swings open and Gia comes bounding in, “Hey B, come on.”

Gia decided that Bethany was way too long a name for her and insisted that nicknames are more personal anyway. Our new names? B and G. We’ve become quite close. It’s amazing the things you can share while bitching about a certain pop star.

“Come on where?” I ask, removing the headphones from my ears and focusing on the bubbly girl looking down at me.

“You think that’s a comfortable position to listen to music in?” she asks, turning her head to the side in order to try and percept why the hell I’m laying on the floor.

“I’m a creature of habit. I used to do it at home when I listened to music.”

Gia nods, “Okay then. Listen, Johnny just let me off for a little while and since I’m bored shitless I thought that maybe you wanted to go play a little pool with me in the bar? Maybe grab a beer or two?”

I nod enthusiastically, “That sounds like fun actually.”

“Honey, you need some fun in your life. Dealing with a dick all day gets tiring.”

I let out a breath of relief knowing that someone else feels my pain and that it’s not just me. I don’t like to bitch or complain about things because for the most part, we all have a hand in the decisions we have made to get to where we are. I have accepted that philosophy and understand that it is normally myself and only myself to blame when I find myself in situations I hate, but I have a legitimate reason to complain this time. I officially am working for the spawn of Satan. Suddenly the initials S.O.S. have a new and completely different meaning to me.

We head downstairs to the bar area and I order two beers while Gia sets up the balls. I grab the two bottles from the neck after tipping the bartender and carrying them over to the pool table. I set them down on the side of the table as Gia hands me a pool stick. She breaks the balls and sends them flying around the table, “So, you have a boyfriend?” Gia asks, taking a sip of her beer.

“Naw, not since I was twenty.”

Gia swallows her sip, “Five years?”

I nod my head, “I’m way too busy for a boyfriend. I was with my last boyfriend from the time I was eighteen until I was twenty.”

“What happened?”

I point my stick at the number six ball and sink it into the left pocket, “We went to college together, his name was Michael, and we liked each other but there was no real connection.”

I look down at my beer and swish it around in the bottle for a few seconds, “We ate breakfast together every day for the entire time we were together. Than once, I had to go home to New Jersey to see my family one morning and asked him if he could bring me breakfast so I could eat while I drove. He brought me eggs and coffee with cream and sugar. The only problem with that was, I don’t drink coffee. I sat across from him every day for two years and he didn’t even remember I don’t drink coffee. It made me wonder what else he didn’t notice about me. I broke up with him the next day.”

“Wow.”

I shake off the memories, “Enough about me, how about you?”

Gia smiles and it’s a look only people who are crazy in love get when you ask them about their significant other. I used to wonder when I was dating Michael if I would ever feel that way about him. I stopped thinking about it a long time ago.

“His name is Derek and we’ve been together three years. The man treats me like a princess.”

I smile, “That must be nice.”

She nods before gasping. I look up at her face from my view of the colored balls scattered on the green felt and she’s grinning ear to ear, “That’s it!”

“What’s it?”

Gia squeals a little, “That will be my mission this tour, to get you a guy.”

“Oh, no, no, no. I am fine on my own and besides, I’m way too busy with you know who.” I protest.

“Don’t be silly, everyone wants to feel special sometimes. Boyfriends are perfect for that kind of stuff.”

I go to protest again but Gia waves her hands in the air as though she was casting a spell, “It’s already done, don’t bother to fight it. Once I get an idea in my head I refuse to let it go. My momma used to say that I get that part of my personality from my dad.”

I roll my eyes playfully as Gia takes another shot and sinks her ball, “My parents are always playing matchmaker with their single friends, so I think it’s genetic. But it must be fate that you would end up on tour with me.”

“You close with your parents?”

“Oh yeah. My momma and my daddy have been married thirty one years this August. I’m their only child.”

“That’s impressive. My parents divorced when I was thirteen.”

“Did they ever get remarried?”

I shake my head, “No, which I always thought was strange. It’s like they gave up on love altogether rather that have to try again.”

“Have any siblings?” she says, twirling a piece of chalk around the end of her pool stick.

A smile creeps onto my lips, “My little brother Sam. He’s twelve.”

“Apple of your eye?” she asks knowingly, watching me smile.

“You have no idea.”

“I always wanted siblings, but my momma was never able to have kids after me for some reason.”

“I can’t imagine my life without Sam.” I smile, “Without him I wouldn’t have made it this far.”

Loud laughing causes both Gia and I to look around and see Justin and Trace walking towards the bar. Gia rolls her eyes and goes back to her shot. They both notice us and I pray to God that they just walk on by.

No such luck.

Trace comes over and sets his glass of alcohol in front of the ball Gia had decided to try and sink. She straitens up and gives him a death look. Gia mentioned to me the other day that she is a black belt and let’s face it, Trace is neither muscular or tall. She could probably snap him in half is she so desired, which is probably why he’s backing off a little. I hope she kicks his ass.

“What the fuck do you want troll?” she spits out.

“I wouldn’t be talking to me like that if I were you.” Trace says, looking backwards for support from Justin.

Justin comes sauntering over and stands in front of us, “Gia, we want to play so get lost.”

“Do I look like a toddler to you? We were playing so your going to have to wait.” She says, getting right up in his face.

I touch Gia’s arm gently to keep her from slugging him, “He’s not worth the law suit hon.”

She shakes with anger before putting the pool stick down and taking my hand in hers. We walk towards the exit when Justin calls out, “Barbie, you need to have my dry cleaning by six tomorrow.”

I spin around, “But the dry cleaners don’t open until nine and they are closed now.”

“Not my problem.”

I feel anger rising and I open my mouth in a rash action, “And its Bethany you bastard.”

Gia’s eyes bug out and Justin tightens his jaw. Oh I’m in trouble now.

He starts walking over to me really slowly and stands in front of me so close that I can taste his breath. Bailey’s Irish Cream.

“Listen Bitch, I can call you whatever the fuck I want. You work for me.”

I try not to cry as he shouts in my face. Think of Sam and suck it up. Think of Sam. Think of Sam.

I bite my tongue and take his shouting which I have blocked out. Only one phrase stays with me that he says, “I’m deducting that comment form your pay.”

After he’s done Gia takes me out to the lounge and hugs me tightly, “Its okay Beth, sshhh.” she soothes. _______________________________________________________________

I decided to go to a club with Trace tonight. After the run in with Gia and Bethany, I needed a break. I can’t believe how she talked to me! The nerve of her. How dare she speak to me that way?

I move through the club quickly, spotting a couple of people snorting cocaine. Trace follows me and we join the unending party that is my life. I make a few white lines on the table, close on nostril and let the white powder enter my system. Someone hands me a drink, who I don’t know, and I take the liquid. Down my throat it goes and I start taking other drugs available to me.

Trace gets up and I hazily hear him say he has to leave to go see his on again off again girlfriend who called him. Fine, leave me to my hallucinations. Enjoy your girl while you can. We all know where they lead to. Pain and suffering. Did he not witness the event in the bar? A needle goes into my arm which I know I didn’t inject myself with because I can’t even pick up my drink. This can’t be good.

I put my cell down on the table when I came in because I don’t like the feeling of it when I sit down. I don’t think I could dial a number so I click one button which brings me to the first name in my address book, which just happens to be Bethany’s.

Shit. I made her wait outside in the car for me. Damn her. I press call and put my head down on the table to the phone. She answers me and all I can say when she answers is, “Come get me.”

______________________________________________________________

I walk into the club in which Justin insisted on visiting tonight. The guy is unbelievable. After snorting all the drugs he had on him, he thought that it would be a good idea to go to a club and get some more. I was outside eating a hamburger when I got a call that was barely audible voice from Justin requesting that someone come get him. Sure, why don’t I just go in there and pick him up? Then I can feed him some apple sauce and sing twinkle, twinkle little star. I have half a mind to leave him in there, but decide I can’t have anymore of my pay taken from me. Hopefully he’ll be so strung out he’ll forget to tell anyone to dock my pay. I drag his bodyguards into the club and make my way into the VIP room where Justin is slumped over.

A variety of drubs were spread out on the table with an assortment of alcohol. People are dry humping each other as I move past them and shake Justin. He’s not responsive and I motion for the bodyguards that I have found him. They come over and one of them picks him up and I move people aside. They put him in the car and I sit in the back with him. He’s burning up and he’s red and sweating. I pull off my sweater putting ice from the ice bucket in the car for alcohol in it, pressing it against his face.

One of the bodyguards turns around from the front seat, “I’ve seen him worse than this. Don’t worry, we’ll take him to our on staff doctor. He’ll wake up later and be ready to hit the bong again.”

I sigh frustrated and scared at the whole situation and move my sweater to his neck. His whole body is on fire and I turn on the ac even though it’s only the beginning of May and sixty degrees outside.

We pull up to the hotel were staying at and go around to the back entrance. One of the guys picks Justin up with the help of the other as I run ahead to open doors for them to get him inside.

They lay him on the ground in his hotel room and call a doctor. Justin’s nose starts to bleed from the drugs and I start wiping the blood from his face as it flows freely. He starts to stir and I hope he’s going to wake up, “Justin?”

He opens his eyes and they try to focus on me. When he’s able to get some sort of idea who is kneeling over him, he groans, “Get the fuck away from me.”

“But-”

“Get away from me!” he yells.