I shove my hands into my pockets and begin pacing the floor. I really don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I never get nervous before I perform.    

Usually, hitting the stage is kind of liberating for me. Up there, I can damn near bare my soul to the world, and nobody will judge me for it. Honestly, the only time I can ever really be myself is on stage.    

But, tonight is different.    

Tonight, I'll be up there with a woman who means the world to me, while she belts out the words that say exactly how I feel about her, and she doesn't have a clue.     

The last few days have been...interesting, to say the least. Madison and Chelsea are barely speaking, Jc is oblivious to everything around him, Trace refuses to even come in the house and Madison spends all hours of the day, locked in her room.    

I guess disastrous would be a good description of all the crap going on right now.    

What I did was stupid, I won't deny that but, I didn't do anything wrong. Yes, legally I am obligated to Madison, but we have no claim on each other. Why don't I have the right to be interested in other women?        

Madison has made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want me, so exactly what the hell am I supposed to do?     

Besides, it's not like I did anything with that girl the other night. She offered to buy me a drink, I accepted. She invited me back to her place, I flashed my wedding band and shot her down, even though I desperately wanted to see what she had in store for me.    

I did the right thing, but I'm still being punished for it. What kind of shit is that?    

If Madison could just accept the fact that she has feelings for me, and own up to it... we'd have no problems at all.     

"Five minutes, J. Madison's on her way." Trace says as he appears in front of me and tosses me a bottle of water. "You alright man?"    

"Yeah, just nervous." I shrug and try to calm my shaking hands.    

"It'll be fine man. The song's good... you guys sound amazing together. There's nothing to worry about."    

"Yeah... right." I nod and force the most enthusiastic smile I can manage.    

Finally,I spot Jc headed toward us, Chelsea and Madison trailing behind him. Madison looks...well, she looks more like herself than she did in the long red gown she had on before.    

Her black pinstripe pants hug her hips just right and her white blouse and black vest are just tight enough to show off her curves. Her hair is still hanging loosely around her shoulders. She looks pretty damn good, if I'm being honest.    

"Alright... you all ready?"    

"Yeah." I nod slowly. I'm ready for this, right?     

The stage manager appears out of nowhere before leading us to our marks on the stage, me seated at the piano, Madison standing at the microphone.    

I'm a little nervous about doing this song for numerous reasons, the main one being that I had a hard time keeping it together when we recorded it, I'm not so sure I can get through a live performance without breaking down.    

Secondly, what we're doing tonight is completely different from the version we recorded. The studio version has a pretty good bass line and is kind of mid-tempo, but when we were rehearsing, I came up with a much slower arrangement.    

We won't have the whole backing band. It's just Madison and I out here, and that's probably more nerve wracking than anything else.    

Madison wiggles around a bit and shakes her head as our names are announced. As soon as the lights come up, I begin the intro and Madison smiles out at the crowd in front of her. The girl definitely has stage presence, I'll give her that.    

Her voice kind of glides over the words and the crowd is completely focused on her and her voice.     

I guess I never really took the time to think about it, but this is a big deal for her. She's never been up on this stage, never been nominated for a Grammy. This is a milestone in her career, and I'm really glad I'm here to share it with her.    

Even if she isn't speaking to me.     

She pulls her mic off of the stand and struts over toward me before plopping down next to me, and looking me dead in the eyes. I swallow hard as she starts to sing the next line, a hint of sadness in her voice.

I forgot to say out loud
How beautiful you really are to me
I cant be without
Your my perfect little punching bag
And I need you
I'm sorry
    

She stands from her seat and returns to her original spot in the middle of the stage. I don't know what the hell that was, but I know it meant something. I know she did that for a reason, I'm just not quite sure what that reason was.    

I play the last several notes of the song before rising from my seat, wiping the tears from my eyes and moving to stand beside Madison. She turns to look at me with tears in her eyes, and before I know it, her lips are planted firmly on mine.     

The crowd erupts into cheers and applause, but the only thing I can focus on, is her. The way she smells, the way she tastes, the way her mouth fits against mine perfectly.    

How the hell can she ignore this?

***********************    

I can officially say that this has been the most boring Grammy experience of my career. Sure, mine and Madison's performance went over great and I couldn't even begin to tell you how many people came up to congratulate us, but...I didn't win anything, Madison, Chelsea, Jc, Trace and myself have spent the evening putting up the front of being a happy little family unit, and we aren't even going to a single after-party.    

Naturally, our ride home was nice and awkward. When we dropped Chelsea off at Madison's old apartment, she didn't say a word to anyone as she climbed out of the limo. Jace offered up a quick goodbye before he hurried into his house. Trace booked it to the guest house as soon as we got home, and Madison went straight to her room, which left me to sit around and mope by myself.     

So, I grabbed a bottle of jack and planted my ass in front of the TV. I didn't even bother to change out of my suit because, changing would mean going up stairs. I know, if I set one foot on the second floor of this house, I'll be tempted to go in and talk to Madison, and I'm not so sure I'm ready for that quite yet.    

I don't even know what to say to her.    

I know she feels the same, and I tried to get her to admit it. Granted, I probably didn't go about it the best way, but I thought if I made it seem like it wasn't a big deal, she'd be more comfortable. I thought if I made a joke out of it, she'd put her guard down and be honest with me. I didn't want to turn it into some big dramatic thing.    

Madison is the only woman who's ever gotten in my head like this. I can't make sense of my own thoughts and I never know what the hell to do. She makes me a confused, nervous wreck and I love every minute of it.    

I love the affect she has on me. I love the fact that she's made me realize how fucked up my life was. I love that she's shown me I can play by my own rules, and I don't have to be another industry puppet. Despite all of the stupid shit, she's made me a better person.    

I hear Madison's bedroom door open and shut, and she appears in the living room several minutes later, dressed in over-sized sweatpants and a tank top, her guitar in hand. She plops down in the chair across the room and rests the guitar on her knee.    

"I just wrote a song." She says quietly before her eyes meet mine. "And, I want you to hear it before anybody else does because....it's about you."    

"Madison..I really don't need to hear a song about how sick I make you."    

"It's not like that." She chuckles and rolls her eyes. "Mannequin's about you too, ya know."    

I nod slowly as the other day plays through my mind like a movie. She practically begged me not to make her do that song, and I made her anyway.     

Maybe part of our problem is the fact that I just don't listen to her. She told me that song was private, but I just kept pushing.     

I can still hear her growling out those words, and it never occurred to me that it could have been about me.

How do I get
Closer to you
When you keep
It all on mute
How will I know
The right way
To love you
Usually the queen
Of figuring out
Breaking down a man
Is no work out
But I have no clue
How to get
Through to you
I wanna hit you
Just to see
If you cry
I keep knocking on wood
Hoping there's
A real boy inside    

Any idiot could see that, that song is about me. I really need to learn to pay more attention to details.    

"Anyway...I just...I kept thinking about the other day and everything you said, and I just had all these feelings I needed to get out, so I wrote it down." She shrugs, an awkward smile playing at her lips.    

She begins to play softly before her rich voice echoes throughout the house.

I'm strong
But I break
I'm stubborn
And I make plenty of mistakes
Yeah I'm hard
And life with me is never easy
To figure out, to love
I'm jaded but oh so lovely
All you have to do is hold me
And you'll know and you'll see just how sweet it can be
If you'll trust me, love me, let me
Maybe, maybe    

I listen carefully to the words, and I can't help but smile. The melody is haunting, but the words are a little amusing.    

Madison has described herself to a T, and the fact that she's playing this for me now, shows that strength I saw in her when we first met.

Someday
When we're at the same place
When we're on the same road
When it's OK to hold my hand
Without feeling lost
Without all the excuses
When it's just because you love me, you let me, you need me
Then maybe, maybe
All you have to do is hold me
And you'll know and you'll see just how sweet it can be
If you'll trust me, love me, let me
Maybe, maybe    

The girl sitting here, singing her heart out, is the real Madison, and with a little luck... that guarded, bitter, broken woman she was becoming is long gone.    

I know people don't change over night, but maybe... maybe writing this song has put Madison on the right track again.

I'm confusing as hell
I'm north and south
And I'll probably never have it all figured out
But what I know is I wasn't meant to walk this world without you
And I promise I'll try
Yeah I'm gonna try to give you every little part of me
Every single detail you missed with your eyes
Then maybe
Maybe, yeah maybe

One day
We'll meet again and you'll need me, you'll see me completely
Every little bit
Oh yeah maybe you'll love me, you'll love me then

I don't want to be tough
And I don't want to be proud
I don't need to be fixed and I certainly don't need to be found
I'm not lost
I need to be loved
I just need to be loved
I just want to be loved by you and I won't stop 'cause I believe
That maybe, yeah maybe
Maybe, yeah maybe

I should know better than to touch the fire twice
But I'm thinking maybe, yeah maybe you're mine

Maybe, love maybe
    

She finishes the song and quickly wipes away the tears that are streaming down her face.     

I honestly don't even know what to say to her. That song was just...wow.    

I can feel tears welling up in my eyes and it's taking all I have to fight them off. I knew she felt the same, but I had no idea it was to that extent. I just... I'm speechless. Completely and utterly speechless.     

"I'm gonna record it." She nods. "But, I wanted you to hear it first."    

"Th..thanks. That was..Madison, that was incredible."    

"Yeah well." She shrugs.    

"I'll be honest... I really don't know what to say or do right now."    

She smiles sadly and nods once again. "You don't have to do anything Justin. I called and talked to Johnny. In the morning, I'm filing for divorce."    

What the hell?    

Has she lost her fucking mind?     

She just said everything I've been waiting to hear, and she thinks I'm going to just let her walk away? She has to be friggen nuts.    

"What? Madison...no."    

"You're not going to change my mind Justin. I've.. I've just had enough. You said yourself that something needed to change and you were right. We can't keep doing this. Even Johnny thinks we're in the clear as far as your reputation goes, so you'll be fine. We'll all be better off this way."    

"Madison, please... don't do this."    

"I made up my mind and I'm not changing it."        

"How can you do this? How the hell can you basically tell me you feel everything I do, and walk away like this?" I'm starting to get angry, but I really can't help it.    

She can't do this. She just...can't.    

"We don't belong together Justin. It wouldn't ever work and we both know that. Don't make it harder than it has to be."    

"It doesn't have to be anything! Stay and we'll figure all the other stuff out later."    

"Justin...don't. Just...don't." She shakes her head as a whole new wave of tears begin to fall. "I'm leaving tomorrow." She sighs before rising to her feet and making her way back up the stairs.    

As pathetic as it sounds, I can't stop the tears from falling now.    

I was right. The old Madison is back full force, and she's done cooperating. She's had enough and has no problem letting the world know it.    

I just don't understand how she can do this. Now that she's finally admitted her feelings, we can straighten this out and be together. Why can't she see that? Why does she have to be so God damn stubborn?    

Suddenly, it hits me. I can't believe I never saw it before. It's been staring me straight in the face all along, and I was just too stupid to see it.    

Since we met, people have constantly tried to point out just how different we are. She's from the city, I'm a country boy, blah, blah, blah. But, that's not it at all.    

We're both stubborn and self centered. We've both been under the microscope for far too long. I could go on for days here, the similarities are endless.    

We're exactly alike.    

And that's been the problem from day one.

*********************    

I sit in silence as I watch Jc, Trace, Chelsea and Madison haul boxes outside to their waiting cars.     

I didn't sleep at all last night, mostly because I could hear Madison in her room, packing. I'm pretty sure she stopped and cried for awhile, but she went right back to packing.    

Maybe at some point, I should have gone in there. Maybe I should have tried to stop her, but what's the point?    

She's made up her mind, and she isn't changing it. She's leaving and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.     

I just don't understand how she could sing that song to me, then turn around and leave. It doesn't make any fucking sense. She wants to be with me, I know she does. I don't know why she keeps fighting this.    

I know things between us haven't exactly been good, but deep down, I know we could be happy. But, it looks like what I think and feel doesn't matter to her.    

She doesn't want me...fine. I'll give her exactly what she wants, but one day.. she's going to wake up and realize how wrong she was. She's going to see, she should have stayed here and been with me.    

And, when that day comes... it just might be too late.     

Getting pissed off probably isn't the best way to go about this, but it's making me feel better. If I can be mad at her, maybe I won't miss her.     

"That's the last of it, right?" Trace asks as he re-enters the house and passes Jc in the hallway.    

"Yeah man. We just need to haul it all over to the apartment."    

Trace walks into the living room and plops down next to me on the couch before letting out a long sigh.     

I know he's dying to ask me what I think about this, but knowing Trace... he won't be the first to bring it up, unless I start acting like a real jackass. Which, based on my track record... shouldn't be very long at all.    

I should probably humor him and just spill my guts, but I'll just end up looking like a pansy and I think I need some liquor in my system before I let that happen.     

"You wanna go out tonight?" I ask suddenly.     

Tonight, I just want to get the hell out of this house. It reminds me too much of her, and I don't want to sit around pouting like some lame ass, broken hearted guy. I'm going to show her that I'll be just fine without her.     

"Yeah man, if you want to." Trace shrugs.     

"Alright, we're out of here." Jc says as he grabs his keys and heads for the door. Madison walks into the living room to grab her purse and gives me a sad smile.    

"I guess I'll be seeing you around?"    

"Don't hold your breath sweetheart." I mutter and roll my eyes.    

"Justin, come on... don't act like that. We can stay friends, ya know."    

"Oh yeah... right. Because us being friends has worked out great so far." I smile sarcastically at her and roll my eyes again.    

I just want her to leave. I want her to get the hell out of here so I don't have to sit and think about the fact that she doesn't want me.     

I don't even know how to feel right now. Everything is just... numb.     

I'd kill for this girl, and she doesn't give a shit. I'd love her like nobody else ever has, and she couldn't care less. I put myself out there for her, and she shot me down.     

How can she expect me to be nice to her?    

"Alright well... bye." She nods before following Jc out of the house.     

As soon as the door shuts behind her, I close my eyes and sigh. Maybe this is just some horrible nightmare that I'm about to wake up from. Maybe, when I open my eyes, she'll be sitting across from me, playing her guitar and laughing.     

I open my eyes again and frown. So much for that idea.    

I stand up and make my way to the door, just in time to see her black BMW pull out of the driveway, and fly down the street.    

Maybe... maybe she'll come back. Maybe, by the time she gets to the end of the street, she'll realize that she belongs here with me, and she'll come back.     

I know it's not going to happen, but hey...a guy can dream, right?     

I press my back against the door and slide down to the floor before resting my head in my hands. She's gone. She's really gone.    

There won't be any ridiculous arrest to bring her back to me this time. She isn't going to change her mind. Her friends aren't going to talk her out of this.    

She's had enough of me and my bullshit, and she's gone. Nothing I do or say is going to change that.     

At that realization, the tears start to fall, and I can't hold them back. For the first time in my life, I'm actually sobbing, and the more I think about the fact that I couldn't stop her... the worse I feel.     

She's gone, and it's my fault.

***********************************    

"Hey folks, John Norris here with an MTV News brief. A statement was released this morning, confirming the rumors that Madison Fox has filed for divorce from husband of six months, Justin Timberlake. Their marriage came as a shock when the two wed in Las Vegas, in late August.  The announcement comes just days after the two wowed the crowd at the Grammy's, performing a track from Fox's upcoming third album. Neither Fox nor Timberlake could be reached for comment, but reps for both say they plan to handle the divorce as privately as possible. We'll have more information as details become available. Be sure to stay tuned for MTV News at ten to the hour, every hour."

"Please Don't Leave Me"- Pink

"Mannequin"-Katy Perry

"Maybe"-Kelly Clarkson