It's all finally official.    

All 14 tracks for the album are finished and in post-production. There's a title, a release date, and RCA is in the middle of booking the tour. It's almost insane how quickly the last two months have flown by.     

The single hits radio in a couple weeks, and the whole cycle is about to begin again. Hopefully, with a much better result this time around.    

If this album tanks the way the last one did, I honestly don't know what the hell I'll do. The future of my career is resting on this album. I can't fail again. Plain and simple.    

Unfortunately, as with everything else in my life... I'm being thrown a couple curve balls. RCA has had an exact release date in mind for quite some time, and I have to admit... I'm not too thrilled with their ideas.    

I understand that part of their job is to drum up publicity, but some things just don't need to be put out in the open.     

My third album is dropping exactly one week after mine and Justin's divorce will be finalized. How completely wrong is that?    

I mean, I know press is important. Without it, the entertainment industry wouldn't survive. I just... I wish that they wouldn't focus so much on personal stuff. But then again, RCA is practically handing them the story on a silver platter.    

God only knows what kind of nonsense they'll come up with, especially since most of the tracks are obviously based on relationships. Then throw in the fact that Justin worked on more than half of them, and even wrote one... I know we're about to be thrown into yet another media frenzy.    

As silly as it sounds, my ultimate dream would be to move to a house in the middle of nowhere, still record and be able to live a normal life. But, I'm smart enough to realize that, that is next to impossible.    

Justin's being pretty great about the whole thing though. He's going to lay low until the novelty of everything wears off, and we'll go from there. Unfortunately, that also means there's no telling how long we'll be apart after the album's out.    

I mean, right now... things aren't too bad. The media has backed off a bit this past month, which has made sneaking around a tad easier, but I still don't get to spend near enough time with him.    

Which is my own damn fault, I know. After all, this whole thing was my idea.    

I know Chelsea, Jace and thousands of others couldn't care less who I date, but I kind of like having this secret. As stupid and childish as it sounds, I love being able to have this one thing completely to myself.    

Most of my life is public knowledge, so it's nice to have some real privacy for a change.    

Besides, it's not like we'll be able to hide forever. Whatever Justin and I are, seems to be getting fairly serious, and if we want to keep it together, we'll have to come clean eventually.    

I just don't know how the hell we'll explain all of this.    

The truth could destroy us both, but another lie isn't going to help either.    

I don't know what's going to happen, so I'm just going to enjoy the here and now. Things are really good, and I'm not going to ruin that with my dramatics.

****************************    

"Rolling Stone has you in their top three most anticipated albums of the year." Chelsea grins and holds up the magazine. "That's pretty damn cool."    

"Yeah, I guess so." I shrug and watch helplessly as the older woman behind me continues to douse my hair with mousse.     

"Oh come on... two years ago you would have shit a brick over being in Rolling Stone at all."   

"True." I nod thoughtfully. "I'm just tired and cranky."    

That's not a complete lie. The last few days have been kinda nuts and it's beginning to wear me down a little. I've had countless meetings with the label to work out promotion for the album, interviews, photo shoots and now, the video shoot for the single.     

As crazy as everything is now, it's only going to get worse.    

But, I don't think exhaustion is what's got me acting a little weird around my best friend.     

It's been almost three months since the day I saw her and Trace together, and I still haven't heard any kind of explanation for it. I mean, if they're together... she can come out and say it. I'd actually be pretty thrilled for her. Trace is a good guy, and it'd be nice to see Chels settle into an actual relationship.    

She tends to get herself involved in those super-dysfunctional relationships that never last more than a month. A guy like Trace could be good for her. He's got a decent head on his shoulders, and he's not living in his mother's basement like a good portion of Chelsea's ex's.     

Oh yeah, Trace would definitely be a step in the right direction.    

I could probably just ask her about it, but that would mean outing Justin and I. And I'm not ready for that just yet.     

But then again... if I play this the right way, she'd never suspect a thing.    

"Chels... can I ask you something?"    

"Shoot." She nods, her eyes never leaving her magazine.    

"Are you seeing anybody?"    

"Not really." She shrugs and narrows her eyes at me. "Why?"    

"I don't know. You're always on the phone lately. I thought maybe something was up."    

"That's just Trace." She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "He's been trying to get in my pants since we met. And, he's like bound and determined to get you and Justin together, so he uses that as an excuse to be up my ass constantly."    

"Exactly how does harassing you, get Justin and I together?"    

"Beats the hell out of me." She laughs and rolls her eyes. "I told him it was pointless anyway. So now, he just pesters the hell out of me. I mean, he's alright I guess... I'm just not sure I'm that into him, ya know?"    

I nod slowly and before I can respond, Chelsea says the last thing I was ever expecting to hear her say.    

"Don't worry though... I didn't tell him that you guys have been banging like horny teenagers for the last three months."    

"You knew?" I shriek and nearly jump out of my seat.    

"Of course I knew." She giggles and shakes her head. "Madison... I'm your best friend. I think I can tell when you're getting laid."    

"Why didn't you say something?"    

"I thought about it. I was kinda pissed at first, but then it all just kind of hit me. You guys got thrown into this whole marriage thing and were forced to flaunt it in front of the entire world.  It makes sense that you'd want to hide if you're really trying to be together."    

This is why this girl is my best friend. She just gets it. I don't know how, but Chelsea is the one person who is always able to understand where my head is.    

"So how come you didn't tell me about Trace?" I have to bite back a laugh as she lets out a loud sigh and rolls her eyes.    

She can deny it all she wants, but I know she likes him. That silly, excited grin on her face at the mention of his name says it all.     

"There's nothing to tell." She mutters, her cheeks quickly turning a bright shade of pink. "Besides... you didn't tell me about Justin. Payback's a bitch, and so am I."    

"Aww... Chels... you have a crush!"     

"Do not." She mumbles and is suddenly engrossed in her magazine.    

The bad thing about Chelsea is, she's just as stubborn as I am. So, God only knows how long it'll take her to actually admit to liking Trace. But, I'll be nice. I won't push her, and I'll mind my own business.    

After all... she isn't bugging me about Justin. So, when she's ready to talk... I know she will.    

One thing I can say though... I'm kind of glad she knows about Justin.     

I was enjoying keeping it to myself, but I knew that would only last so long. Eventually, it'd just be a chore and if I'm going back to work soon... I need things to be as simple as possible.    

With Chelsea knowing,  it's like this huge weight is off of my shoulders. I don't have to keep my guard up all the time, and I won't be so damn nervous around her.     

Plus, when Justin pisses me off... I'll have someone to vent to.    

I knew I should have told her from the beginning. But, hindsight is 20-20.     

Unfortunately, I've got this nagging voice in the back of my mind trying to convince me that everything isn't as cool as it seems to be.     

Chelsea and I have always been honest with each other. Why are we suddenly going out of our way to cover things up?    

I want to believe that it isn't that big of a deal, that things are just a little weird now. But, that voice in the back of my mind seems to be getting louder, and it's damn near screaming at me to quit while I'm ahead.

*********************************    

"Looks good so far." Jc nods as he watches the playback of the scene we just shot.     

Not to sound cocky or anything, but I completely agree with him.    

I'm beyond proud of this song and the video concept we came up with. Although, I'm sure it'll stir up some shit as far as the media and tabloids go.    

I've always prided myself on being pretty realistic about my fame. I know I gave up my shot at a normal life, and I'm ok with that. In exchange for my sacrifices, I get to do the thing I love the most, every single day.    

It's always bothered me when celebrities constantly complain about the attention they receive. Each and every one of them chose this lifestyle, and if they're really so desperate for privacy... they could walk away at any time.    

I've used that line of thinking from day one, and I think it's what has kept me so level headed about everything. But... I do have my not so reasonable days.    

Sometimes, I absolutely hate the constant questions, and having a camera shoved in my face everywhere I go. Just once, I'd love to walk into a room and be completely ignored. But.. it comes with the territory, and I know that.    

Not long after Justin and I got married, I was having a particularly shitty day. We'd been followed all afternoon, our faces plastered on dozens of magazines, you get the picture.     

I had all this stuff running through my head and I just had to get it out. I had to vent, and I ended up writing "What I've Become", in ten minutes that day.    

Originally, it was slow and depressing and honestly... not that great. But, it made me feel better and that was all I was concerned with.    

I haven't got the slightest clue what possessed Justin to rearrange it and at the time, I wanted to wring his scrawny ass neck, but now... I love it more than I thought possible.  And, that is exactly why it's the first single and title of the album.    

Even with Justin's changes, the song is so completely me. And hopefully, it'll live up to the hype.    

I try to ignore what the critics say about me and my music, but it's become damn near impossible. I got over-confidant with the last album, I thought it was perfect and had myself so convinced that it would be some monster hit.     

Obviously, I was wrong. I guess you could say I got what I deserved when it did tank.     

But, I'm not going to be so arrogant this time around. I'm not getting my hopes up.     

I'm just going to do what I can. I'll promote the hell out of this album, and perform my ass off. If I'm lucky, it'll work.    

But, if it doesn't... maybe it's time to accept the fact that my fifteen minutes are up, and move on.     

When you get right down to it, the video isn't anything scandalous or over the top, but it's definitely a big 'fuck you' to the morons who make their living off of the lives and misfortunes of celebrities.    

Most scenes are of me out doing normal stuff, grocery shopping, walking a dog, cutting grass, and a horde of photographers there to capture my every move on film. But, the really fun ones are the scenes where I get to act like a complete jackass. Falling down stairs, lashing out at the paparazzi, and the icing on the cake... a re-enactment of my arrest.    

It's all in good fun, and it fits the song perfectly, so I'm pretty content with it.     

Jc, however, doesn't seem so thrilled. He's spent most of the afternoon suggesting less honest scenes, and trying to change things around. I think if it was up to him, we'd have a completely different video on our hands.     

I don't know why, but I've got this nagging feeling that he's not too happy that I'm back to my old self.     

There for awhile, I was becoming a total push over, and any time he told me to jump... I was asking how high. Ridding myself of the stress of the whole Justin mess, and realizing that Beth was the one who landed us in our dysfunctional little situation, kind of snapped me back to reality and I realized just how pathetic I'd become.    

I hit rock bottom after I was arrested, then I picked myself back up, and I'm damn proud of that.     

Jc's been dealing with me since the very beginning of my career. He had to know that the whiny, pitiful, doormat thing just doesn't suit me.    

"So you're really doing this?" He asks skeptically. He's trying to be supportive and get his point across at the same time, but my mind's made up.     

"Yep." I nod and smile proudly.     

He lets out a long sigh before a deep frown overtakes his features. "Fine... it's your video." He shrugs. "I'll call the label and warn them."    

"Oh come on Jace... it's not that bad. What's the big freakin deal?"    

"It's not a big deal Madison... I just... I was starting to really like the cooperative side of you. Hate to say it, but you're kind of a pain in the ass when you're the one making the rules."    

"You love me and you know it." I grin stupidly as he shakes his head at me.    

"Sometimes I really don't know why. Anyway... the movie awards are in a couple weeks and they want you to perform. I just got the e-mail today."    

"I can handle that."    

"Good. I've got some other stuff for you to look over later. Most of it sounds pretty good, interviews and stuff."    

"Alright... I'll check it out tonight. I'm gonna go back to the trailer and lay down. Call me when they're ready." Jc nods and I quickly make my way off of the set and to my trailer.    

I really just want to sleep for the next three days. This promotion stuff is going to kick my ass over the next several weeks, and I'm going to need all the rest I can get.    

I open the door to my trailer and before I can shut it behind me, an arm circles my waist while the other hand covers my mouth, muffling my screams.    

Holy shit. I'm gonna die, and this fucker's gonna get away with it.    

You always read about this. Some psycho stalking a celebrity, and then they break into their home or something, and rip them limb from limb.    

I've heard plenty of obsessed, crazed fan stories, but never in a million years did I think it would happen to me.    

I ball my right hand into a fist and put all the force I can muster into my swing. A loud thud echoes through the trailer and I can't stop the satisfied smile that spreads across my face when my attacker groans in pain.    

He releases me quickly and I scramble to the other side of the room, grabbing the can of pepper spray I keep around for protection. I whirl around to face the intruder and my finger pauses on the trigger of the can.    

What in the hell.....    

"Jesus fucking Christ Madison! You didn't have to punch me in the balls!" Justin doubles over and gasps for air before slowly sliding to the floor.    

"I thought you were trying to kill me! What kind of moron grabs somebody like that?"

"I was trying to surprise you." He mutters and rolls his eyes, his hands cupping his crotch protectively.    

"Mission accomplished dumb ass." I chuckle and ease down next to him.   

Alright... I do feel a little bad, but what the hell was I supposed to do? I had no clue he'd pull something like this. For all I knew, some crazy asshole was about to slit my throat.    

"Shit... where'd you learn to hit like that?"    

"My dad." I shrug simply. "What are you doing here?"    

"I was bored and I wanted to see you. You really oughta up your security by the way, I got in here no problem. Any asshole could get in here ya know."    

"And you wonder why you got punched in the junk?"    

"Cute." He mutters and rolls his eyes again. "Anyway... everything going alright?"    

"So far. Jace is kind of tripping out, but he'll get over it."    

"He's uptight." Justin snorts loudly.    

I don't know why, but Justin gives off some pretty hostile vibes anytime we talk about Jc. It doesn't make much sense, considering their history. If I didn't know better, I'd think he's jealous.    

I mean, I'd kind of understand if he is. Justin and I barely have enough time to talk, let alone be together. 90 percent of my time is spent with Jace, and that's just a little unfair.    

If Justin was spending most of his time with some other woman, I know I'd have a problem with it. But, he's got absolutely nothing to worry about. Jace is like my big brother and the thought of him as anything else kind of turns my stomach.    

It's just way too weird to even think about.    

"Since when are you all anti-Jc?"    

"I'm not." He replies a little too quickly. "He just needs to lighten the fuck up. You're a grown woman, you can do whatever you damn well please. He's not your fucking keeper."    

"You're allowed to just be jealous ya know." I smirk as his eyes widen.     

"I'm... I'm not... not jealous." He stutters. He's so busted, and he knows it.    

"It's ok." I giggle and kiss him quickly. "I wouldn't be too thrilled if my boyfriend spent all of his time with some other chick."    

"So I've been upgraded to boyfriend now, huh?" He grins, his face mere inches from mine.    

"Yeah... you got a problem with that?"    

"Not at all." His mouth finally captures mine and I can't help but smile.     

How is it possible that the man I spent months despising, has turned into this? He's funny and sweet and charming and just... wonderful.     

The way I feel about him is terrifying and thrilling all at the same time. When I'm with him, it's like nothing else matters. He just... it's like he's this piece of me that I didn't even know was missing, and when he's not around... I just don't feel right.     

I love him. I completely and totally love him. I don't know when, how or why it happened, but it did. And I don't think anything's ever going to change that.     

He's almost too damn good to be true, and that scares the shit out of me.