I'm divorced. I honestly never thought I'd have to say that.    

I always thought that when I got married, I'd be in it for the long haul. I figured, I'd meet a woman, fall in love, have some big ass ridiculous wedding, crank out a few rugrats, then we'd grow old together.     

Instead, I met the woman, married her an hour later, spent six months on the verge of strangling her to death, fell for her, then got divorced.... in a little more than a year.    

So much for the American dream, I guess.     

But on the bright side, the divorce hasn't taken Madison away from me like I originally expected, but she's definitely not around as much as I'd like. But, I'm with her... and for now, that's good enough.    

Her album is due out in a few days, and I gotta admit... I'm pretty damn nervous. Not just for her, but for myself as well. I worked on nine of those 14 songs, so I kinda feel like they're just as much mine as they are hers. If she succeeds, I succeed. If she fails, I fail.    

I just wish I could be around to enjoy the inevitable success with her, but unfortunately... while she's out partying and promoting, I'll be stuck at home, watching from the sidelines.    

Her release party is the night before the actual release, and as much as I want to go...I'm not so sure I should. Johnny seems to think it's a good idea, like the media shit will die down a bit if we show everyone we're still friends.     

Personally, I couldn't give two shits less what the world thinks. But, I do kind of like the idea of being around Madison, without having to hide.     

But, I'm sure with Jace around, I won't be able to get within ten fucking feet of her.     

I don't know why, but I'm just getting this increasingly bad feeling about him. Something just doesn't seem right lately.    

More and more everyday, he's getting more controlling, like he's fucking Johnny Wright Jr. or something. He's pushing all this extra shit off on her and the more it escalates, the more it worries me.     

I mean, it doesn't seem so bad right now. The extra interviews, shoots and stuff could all be blown off as promotion for the album, but pretty soon... it's going to be so far above and beyond that. Before you know it, she'll be doing fast food commercials or some shit.    

Part of what makes Madison so interesting is the fact that she isn't shoved down the public's throats. She's a musician, not a fucking brand.    

I just... I don't want to see her lose the things that make her who she is, and I can very easily see Jace sucking the life out of her and her career.    

Madison is special because the world doesn't know much about her. Until we got married, she was like this non-celebrity. I mean sure, there were a lot of stories about her partying, but nobody could ever prove it. People were curious about her, and that, plus the talent is what made her a big deal.    

Unfortunately, I'm afraid Jc is on his way to destroying that mysterious quality of hers, all for a few extra bucks.   

I'd like to think I'm wrong, but I've just got this increasingly bad feeling about all things Jc Chasez.

****************************    

Well... I did it. I finally manned up and decided to come to Madison's release party.     

The more I thought about it the more I realized I need to be here, for more reasons than one.     

For a second, let's pretend everything that's happened this past year was for real. Let's say Madison and I were married because we wanted to be and we got divorced because it just wasn't working.   

If that really were the case, I'd want to be here to support her. This album is her comeback of sorts, and if she really were my ex-wife and things ended amicably, I'd be here for her.    

So yeah, it makes sense that I'd show up.    

Now, when you throw reality into the mix... I'd probably get my ass kicked if I wasn't here. She's my girlfriend and I know she wants me here. Even if it does stir up some media bullshit, I know I'm doing the right thing.     

The funny thing though... Trace was completely against the entire thing. Which is pretty fuckin weird. I figured he'd be all for an opportunity to see Chelsea, but it goes to show what I know, I guess.     

I still just don't understand their thing... whatever the hell it is. I mean, if they're together... what are they hiding it for?    

Unless... it's Chelsea's twisted way of getting back at Madison for all of her lying.    

I don't know, but I'm not worrying about it. If Trace wants to start being a secretive little dick, that's his problem. I'm not going to stress over it.    

I make my way to the bar and order a drink before weaving my way through the crowd once again and taking a seat at a corner table.    

If the turn out is any indication, Madison's well on her way back to the top. This place is damn near packed to the rafters with industry folks, fans, various celebrities as well as Madison's family and friends.    

It's a pretty typical release party, but it does have that Madison Fox edge to it.    

Everything, from the decorations to the guests attire is completely casual. I'm actually pretty proud of her for the way this turned out. Usually, these things can be kind of formal and boring as all hell, but as always... Madison has managed to do it her way.    

I guess I can take that as a sign that Jc hasn't completely sunk his industry claws into her just yet.    

"Pop star! What're you doing here?" Chelsea slurs, a wide grin spreading across her face as she plops down at my table.     

Obviously, she's already trashed, and I'm sure Madison is probably in the same state, wherever the hell she is.    

"Figured I'd make an appearance." I shrug and take a sip of my drink.    

"Trace with you?"    

"He's around here somewhere."

"Cool, cool." She nods slowly. "He likes me, ya know." She giggles and rolls her eyes.    

"Really? Hadn't noticed." I mutter. Does she really think I'm that fucking stupid?    

"Yeah well... you wouldn't. I guess we're sort of together.... but that's a secret."    

"Oh yeah?"    

"Yep." She nods seriously. "We agreed that you and Maddie deserved a taste of your own medicine."    

"How so?" I lean forward in my seat and wait for her to continue.    

I knew it! I so fucking knew this whole thing was some sort of payback. It's stupid... but in some ways, it makes sense.    

"Well..." She sighs before gulping down the rest of her drink. "You guys screwed over a lot of people. You lied to the whole fucking world, ya know? And Maddie... it broke my heart that she didn't tell me what was going on. We've been best friends for so long... I think I deserve a little more credit than I got. And, we thought maybe after the divorce, you guys would have realized that your lying doesn't affect just you two, but oh no... you had to start screwing around and lie about that too." She pouts angrily and folds her arms over her chest.    

As much as I hate to say it... she's right. Our so called marriage didn't affect just us. Our families were led to believe they'd gained an in-law. Our friends had to lie to cover our asses, or think they missed out on our wedding. Our fans were nothing but supportive and sent us God knows how many letters of congratulations.    

We lied to so fucking many people and all we ever worried about was ourselves.     

"I mean... do you know how that felt? To hear from fucking MTV, that my best friend got married? I should have been there for something like that. Then I find out the whole thing was bullshit, and she never bothered to tell me. It might not seem like it... but this fame shit has gotten to her head. The real Madison never would have agreed to that marriage to begin with, much less fucking lied about it, especially to me."    

"She was just trying to help me Chels. She agreed to it to cover my ass."    

"She still lied." She shrugs. "And now, she's gonna see how it feels." She rises from her seat and quickly disappears into the crowd without another word.    

Shit.    

I knew Chelsea was pissed when she finally found out, but I never realized just how bitter she was about the whole thing.  A small part of me understands, but it's just so... childish, I guess is the right word.    

If Chelsea and Madison are as close as they let on, you'd think Chelsea would be a little more understanding of the situation.    

But then again, when someone spends almost 20 years being nothing but honest, then starts lying to you out of the blue... maybe you would be pretty fucking bitter about it.    

In a way, I'm glad Chelsea spilled her guts like that, even if she won't remember it in the morning. But now the real question is... do I tell Madison, or let her go on thinking everything's perfectly ok?    

The overhead lights dim suddenly as the stage lights up, and Jc walks out, Madison trailing behind him, bending down to greet the fans gathered in front of the small stage. The music cuts off as Jace grabs the mic and smiles out at the crowd.     

Once they've quieted down, Jc begins to ramble, thanking everyone for coming, and supporting Madison. When he starts talking about working on the album, I can't ignore the flash of anger that hits me. He's raving about Madison's songwriting ability, her incredible guitar work, and even boasting about his own production skills.     

But, he's conveniently left out one major detail. Me.    

He's totally failed to mention that I produced over half of the album and even fucking wrote one of the songs. Flat out ignored my re-arrangement of "What I've Become." It's like I had absolutely nothing to do with this record.    

I'm not bragging by any means, and I'm not saying he needs to start name dropping, but atleast give credit where it's due. If you're gonna stand there and boast about the work that went into this album, how the fuck do you overlook my involvement?    

Jace finally finishes babbling and Madison moves to take the microphone, but he quickly deflects her and guides her off the stage.    

That right there is exactly the kind of shit I'm worried about. It's almost like he's trying to make this all about him. Madison should have been the one thanking her guests for showing up. It's her record, and if anybody's gonna brag about it, it needs to be her.    

I mean, you don't see Johnny running around taking credit for my work, do you?    

"Hey." She smiles brightly as she takes a seat across from me. "Thought you weren't coming?"    

"Changed my mind." I shrug simply. "How'd you even know I was here?"    

"I saw you when I was on stage." I nod slowly in response and quickly down the rest of my beer.     

As much as I hate to admit it, things have been a little awkward in the week since our divorce was finalized. It's like neither of us is quite sure what to do or say. I guess we just got too used to having this marriage thing hanging over our heads.    

Before... we were supposed to be all about the PDA, and making damn sure people saw us wherever we went. But now, it's the exact opposite. It's just really fuckin weird to go from one extreme to the next so quickly.     

"So... Jace had a lot to say."    

"Yeah, I know." Madison rolls her eyes and lets out an aggravated snort. "I was supposed to say something too, but apparently he said more than enough for both of us."    

She's trying to hide it, but I know she's not too thrilled with what just happened. Can't say I blame her, really. She should have been given the chance to say something. After all, these people are here to see her, not Jc.    

"So, how long you gotta stay?"    

"All night." She mutters and rolls her eyes again. "I already tried to weasel my way out of it, but my slave driver wasn't having it."    

Why am I not surprised?    

"Should we make a trip to the bathroom then?" I smirk as her face flushes quickly. I don't know why, but I love being able to embarrass the shit out of her like that. She gets all flustered and it's pretty damn cute.    

"Don't hold your breath. Way too many people." She giggles and shoves me playfully.    

"But that's the fun part Maddie."    

"Hey Jus... didn't know you'd be here." Jc nods in my direction as he approaches our table. He sits down next to Madison before draping his arm over the back of her chair, and I suddenly have to fight to keep the smile on my face.    

"Yeah well... I figured I needed to be here. Since ya know... I had a pretty big hand in the whole thing."    

"Good point." He smiles, but it doesn't seem quite as genuine as it should. "So, how's everything going?"    

"Not bad man."     

Alright, I'm finding it pretty damn hard to do this buddy-buddy shit with him, especially when he's sitting entirely too close to my girlfriend, with his fucking arm around her, no less.    

He nods before turning to Madison, that same fake ass smile plastered on his face. "You might want to make the rounds again. There's a few people from the label who wanted to talk to you, and I think there's some reporters around somewhere."    

"Oh... umm... ok." She sighs and reluctantly slides out of her seat. "Justin... I guess I'll see ya around."    

"Yeah, later." I give her a small wave and force the best smile I can as she disappears into the crowd.    

I really don't get what his fucking problem is. Madison has been running around kissing ass all night. Why can't she sit down and enjoy her party for ten damn minutes?    

"Justin... what the hell are you doing here, seriously?" Jc asks, the annoyance on his face clear as day.    

"Told you man... I worked on the album, I'm still cool with Madison... I'm just being supportive."     

"Look... I get that. I really do, but..." He sighs heavily and shakes his head. "I just... there's a lot of reporters here, and if it gets out that you showed up, it could overshadow her, and I don't want to see that happen again."    

"Again?"    

"Yeah. I mean, you guys got married and suddenly, the world was more interested in her personal life than her work, and the last album tanked because of it."    

"You ever think maybe it bombed cause it just wasn't any fucking good?"    

"Come on man... I'm just looking out for her. You don't need to be here, and it's just going to stir up a bunch of shit. You know that as well as I do."    

"You throwing me out?"    

He must have lost his God damn mind. I mean seriously... he's got to be fucking kidding. He can't honestly believe I'm the reason that Madison's last album flopped. I mean yeah, her personal life did overshadow her career for awhile, but that all died off eventually.   

 Now... all the hype is about her material. We're divorced. As far as the media's concerned, we aren't a story anymore.    

"Not exactly. I just... if somebody sees you, if could look really bad for her."    

"Fine. I'll fucking leave. Happy now?" I seethe as I stand up and slam my chair into the table.    

"Justin.. don't act like that man. I'm just trying to do the right thing here."    

"Fuck you Jace." I spit as I shove past him and head for the exit.    

The defiant part of me wants to stay, just to piss him off. But, I know even if I do, he'll keep Madison as far away from me as humanly possible. So what's the fucking point?    

I just don't get why he thinks it'd look so strange for me to be here, supporting my ex-wife. It really isn't all that crazy. People do shit like this all the time.    

Unfortunately,  there's a small part of me that can't help wondering if maybe he's right, and Madison's failures really are my fault.