“So we’ve established that it wasn’t at your old grade school-”
“Oh god,” I groan, rolling my eyes, my fingers tightening around the steering wheel.
“-or your high school, or the park-”
“Really Justin,” I sigh, pulling onto the main drag of my sleepy little town. “Will you stop?”
He’s been pestering me about this all morning and while keeping the details of my lost virginity a secret from him had been amusing last night it was starting to wear thin. I suppose I could just tell him; it’s not like its some big secret. But the fact that he just won’t let it go makes me feel like this is less about knowing and more about getting his way. The spoiled brat.
Or if I was really honest with myself I would know that my irritability has less to do with Justin’s constant prodding and more to do with the fact that my mother’s words are still haunting me. It’s true I’ve always wanted a man with a steady job and while Justin certainly has the means to support us and a small country, he’s gone a lot. Sometimes he leaves at a moments notice even and my mother is right; the leaving hurts. It always has. It hits me deep inside and aches and I hate it. I don’t want to live that way, just waiting for the next thing to take him away from me. So where does that leave me? Where does it leave us?
I shake my head, concentrating on the road, my eyes flicking nostalgically around Main Street. Nothing has changed here, all the same stores are still in business and even though its bitter cold outside everyone in town is still milling around, doing a little shopping on their lunch hour. The antique store still has their giant six foot tall wooden Indian out front that even though it’s been for sale since I can remember no one buys it because it’s such a staple on the main drag of town. That and it’s dead ugly of course. The hardware store still has the same old weather beaten sign and of course Cosway’s sign glows neon pink in the gray afternoon light. I sigh. It’s so good to be home.
“What position was it?”
I gasp loudly, nearly crashing into the row of cars parked along the street. “Justin!”
“Jesus woman how in the hell did you get a driver’s license?” he teases, reaching to take the wheel and I slap his hand.
“If you wouldn’t ask me lewd questions while I was trying to drive I assure you I would be doing much better,” I say bristling as I tap the breaks, preparing to swing into a spot in front of Cosway’s.
“If you would tell me I wouldn’t be asking you lewd questions,” he argues petulantly and I roll my eyes, swinging open the car door and stepping out into the bitter chill to escape his interrogation. “And besides,” he continues, unfolding his lanky frame from the front seat and slamming the car door behind him, hurrying to stand next to me on the curb. “It’s not lewd. I’m supposed to know these things. Sexual history and what not.” He grins smarmily at me and I narrow my eyes at him.
“Oh really,” I ask, stepping around him to make my way to the entrance of the diner and he darts in front of my quickly to grab the door, holding it open for me, still grinning like the little brat he is. I smirk. Two can play this game. “Well then I guess I should know yours too. How many women have you slept with?” I ask, enjoying the way his face blanches as I breeze past him.
My breath catches in my throat all joking forgotten as I’m transported back to my sophomore year in high school. Cosway’s is exactly the same, same scratched black and white tile, same yellowed photographs on the walls, same tan booths the leather cracking from wear. There’s a group of teenagers sitting in the big round booth in the back sipping milkshakes and eating cheese fries laughing and whispering conspiratorially among themselves. The only thing missing is “Love Will Never Do Without You” playing over the speakers. Instead it’s some pop/rock mess sung by that boy group Justin had at his golf tournament a couple months ago. I turn to find Justin standing right behind me, looking around curiously, his cheeks pink from the cold and I rest my hand on his chest for a second, just glad he’s here with me before shrugging out of my coat and hanging it on the rack by the door.
I love having him with me. I love being near him. I love that even in a room full of people I know where he is. It’s like I have this strange radar for him, always knowing when he’s near. But then again I always know when he’s gone as well. I think about the way I feel when he leaves, when he’s away, when he comes back. I try to think of what it would feel like if the third part of the sequence were erased. If he was just gone. The memory hits me so quick it steals my breath and I’m standing in an elevator, my entire body trembling as the doors close on his handsome, boyish face, his lips forming the words “I love you.”
“Hey you okay?” Justin asks, his hand on my back and I jump, realizing I’d been frowning. His eyes are concerned and I plaster a smile on my face.
“Reminiscing,” I say shrugging and he eyes me skeptically before hanging his coat over mine on the rack.
As he turns back to me I reach up and peck him on the lips, catching him somewhat by surprise and he smiles brightly as my hand slips into his and I guide him to the old counter where I slide on one of the cracked leather stools, resting my elbows on the chipped white counter. Justin slides onto the stool next to me reaching across me for a menu and he smells clean, like him and I feel warm and full, and I can’t really fathom ever being without him.
I watch him as he peruses the menu easily, his blue eyes scanning the page quickly. His ears are tinged pink from the cold, his hair short but curling just slightly at the ends. His cheeks are shadowed and scruffy and I can tell he didn’t shave this morning. He’s wearing the sweater I bought him a month or so ago when he went away for his golf tournament and I remember the feeling of breezing past the men’s department in Saks my fingers reaching out absently to brush the cashmere and in that moment I had missed him so terribly that I bought the damn thing. I’d shoved it in a drawer, embarrassed by my absurdity and completely forgotten about it until he’d come out of my room one morning, bare-chested, jeans slung low on his slim hips, asking if it was his. I merely blinked and in my panic I said yes, that I’d bought it for him and the grin that broke out over his face was dazzling as he tugged it eagerly over his head.
I smile at the memory but it darkens when I remember how that night he’d called me from the car on the way to the airport. Something about his label and beats per minute and I remember the ache in my chest. I look at him and I wonder, can I do this? The rest of my life? Yes is the answer my heart screams. Do I want him? Of course you want him. Do I need him that much? You can’t live without him. Now that’s slightly dramatic. Yet so very true.
I snatch a menu from between two napkin holders and open it, trying to occupy my brain with hamburgers and milkshakes but to no avail. My heart has already started to constrict at the mere thought of being without him again. I don’t want to go back to that. The loneliness. The lack of purpose which I find utterly embarrassing because who would have thought that I’d ever need a man? I’ve always been so headstrong, so in control, so independent. I never needed anyone much less a man. And someone so like my father no less. I shake my head. And who would have thought it’d be Justin. After everything that had happened, all the obstacles in our path, his age, my stubbornness and the time, god the amount of time we’d spent apart. Who would have ever thought it would be him. Like anyone else ever had a chance…
“You sure you’re okay?”
I jump at the sound of his voice and I feel his large hand smooth down my back in a comforting way. I look up to find him leaning towards me in conference, his eyes scanning my face and I shake my head smiling.
“Yeah…sorry,” I say, looking back at my menu again.
“You had that look on your face like…” he starts and then stops, shaking his head and then looking back at his menu.
“Like what?” I ask and he barely glances at me shifting on his stool, shaking his head.
“Hey,” he exclaims before I have a chance to press further and he leans in to me again. “Was it here?” He wiggles his eyebrows and I roll my eyes, smacking his arm with the back of my hand.
“Will you give it a rest?” I whine and he chuckles shaking his head slowly.
“Nope, not gonna.”
“You are so-”
“Well, well, well if it isn’t Mona Lisa!”
I look down the counter and see an older man ambling over with two glasses of ice water in his hands and I can’t help the grin that breaks out over my face. He’s older than I remember but I guess I’m older too now. God how time moves so fast! His salt and pepper hair is now almost completely white, his face lined and creased from time but his gray eyes crinkle at the corners just like they always used to.
“Mr. Cosway!” I say grinning happily as he sets the glasses in front of Justin and me.
“Mona lisa, mona lisa, men have named you / You’re so like the lady with the mystic smile,” he sings, placing a hand to his chest and closing his eyes, giving a little vibrato to his warbled tenor and I blush like I have ever since he gave me the nickname when I was fifteen. He grins leaning on the counter. “How ya doin’ kid?”
“Doing pretty good,” I say, smiling at him and it feels so good to be home.
“This the boy my wife keeps telling me about? The one you’re in the papers with?” Mr. Cosway asks, eyeing Justin who smiles back tightly, his ears tingeing pink.
“Oh this is my…” I trail and Justin raises an eyebrow at me. Mr. Cosway grins amused. “Justin. Justin this is Mr. Cosway.”
“Our relationship defies definition,” Justin says by way of greeting, grinning charmingly as he shakes Mr. Cosway’s hand. The old man laughs heartily.
“The good one’s usually do son,” Mr. Cosway confides and Justin grins nodding. “How’s life in the big city?”
“Good, good,” I say nodding and Justin grins.
“You’re momma was in here the other day braggin up a storm.”
“Oh god,” I groan, covering my face with my hands and I hear Justin chuckle.
“’My daughter’s the head of the Greek Arts Department at the Metropolitan Museum in New York City’ she says. And we wouldn’t expect any less from our little Mona Lisa,” he says grinning.
“Why do you call her Mona Lisa,” Justin asks his eyes flitting from me to the old man curiously and I shake my head at him.
Mr. Cosway grins, pointing a finger at me. “This girl knew more about art at fifteen than I ever have,” he says and Justin chuckles. “She was something.”
“Yes, I believe the term is insufferable know-it-all,” Justin sniggers and I scowl at him playfully.
“And what do you do young man?” Mr. Cosway asks, eyeing him dubiously and Justin grins.
“Musician,” he says easily and Mr. Cosway’s bushy eyebrows raise.
“Musician ay?” he asks and I briefly wonder whether he’s playing or he really doesn’t know who Justin is. “You any good?”
Justin chuckles. “I’m alright.”
The understatement of the century.
“Well whatever you do, don’t let this one go,” Mr. Cosway says tilting his head at me and I can’t help but smile. “She’s a catch at twice the price.”
“Oh I know it,” Justin says, looking at me fondly, his eyes softening as he smiles at me. “It took me a while but I finally caught her.”
I blush and I feel his hand reach behind me to run up and down my back a few times before resting his elbows back on the counter. Mr. Cosway regards us amusedly for a moment before heaving a sigh.
“So what’ll it be Mona darling? The usual?” he asks and I eye him skeptically.
“There’s no way you still remem-”
“Cheeseburger, no onions, French fries and a strawberry shake,” he says confidently and my jaw drops.
“How-”
“An elephant never forgets,” Mr. Cosway says, tapping his temple and Justin chuckles. “And for you young man?” he asks, sizing Justin up.
“Uh I’ll have a cheeseburger with everything, cheese fries, onion rings and a chocolate shake,” Justin says closing his menu and reaching across me again to slide his menu back between the napkin holders. “Oh…large,” he adds settling back on his stool and Mr. Cosway smiles.
“Sure you don’t want the right side of the menu too?” I say grinning sarcastically and he narrows his eyes at me.
“I had a light breakfast,” he replies airily and I giggle, nudging him with my elbow.
“I’ll get that in for you,” Mr. Cosway says tapping the counter twice with his fingers before turning and heading down to the kitchen window to tack up our order.
Justin chuckles and I cut my eyes at him. “What are you laughing at?”
“Just the fact that you were such a massive dork at such a young age,” Justin smirks and I scoff.
“Oh really Mr. Mousekateer,” I shoot back and his smile falls from his face.
“Hey that’s different!” he says defensively and I try my best to bite back my laugh. “Music is cool.”
“And art isn’t?” I ask, letting a little edge into my voice and his face blanches slightly in panic.
“Um…I didn’t mean it like…” he trails as a smirk creeps over my lips and then he scowls. “You know what I don’t have to be subjected to this,” he says airily, standing from his barstool. “I’m going to wash my hands.”
I giggle as he turns his nose in the air and stomps off towards the bathrooms. He slows about half way across the room and grins at me over his shoulder before turning away again, bringing a hand up to scratch nonchalantly at his temple as he passes the table of teenagers before disappearing around the corner.
I sigh, turning back to the counter and I swirl my straw in my glass. He’s everything to me. I contemplate this feeling, examine it in my heart and I’m slightly disgusted with myself. He’s everything to me? I have two Ph.Ds and a Masters degree, I’ve traveled the world, and I’m a woman doing a man’s job. I’m accomplished and intelligent and up until nine months ago I was convinced I had everything. Then he blew back into my life and now…now he’s everything. I’ve never loved anyone like I love him. I’ve been in love before – I cringe at the memory – but not like it is with Justin.
Before Justin…before there was someone but that didn’t really matter. I marvel at the feeling because it had hurt so badly at the time, his betrayal, the heartbreak. It had hurt like hell and now…now it’s almost nothing. Justin and I have never even really talked about it. Just once during that first summer, when we were at the Getty, our first official “date.” He’d asked me if I’d ever had my heart broken. The guy had cheated on me and gotten my best friend pregnant. Yes my heart had been broken but nothing like it was when I left Justin. My heart hadn’t broken then. It cracked in twelve thousand places and just shattered.
“Skylar?”
I turn at the sound of my name hesitantly uttered from the doorway of the restaurant and my eyes widen in shock when I see him. It’s been years, so many years but he still has the same hazel eyes, the same dusty blond hair. He smiles at me and my stomach doesn’t flip like it used to, but it doesn’t turn either, not like it did when I saw him around with my former best friend, her stomach swollen and wide.
“Jeremy,” I say, a laugh pulling itself from my throat at the feeling of his name on my lips again after all these years. “Hi.”
“Hey!” He says smiling hesitantly as he steps forward and a young girl about the age of twelve follows him, looking from me to him curiously. She has his eyes, the shape of his face.
He reaches for me and I hesitate for a moment before sliding off my barstool and letting him envelop me in a hug. After all these years he still smells the same, like musk and soap, so different than Justin’s natural clean scent.
“How…how are you?” he asks releasing me slowly and holding me at arms length
“I’m good,” I say a smile pulling at my lips and our eyes scan each others faces, noting the changes, remembering. “How’s Molly?” I ask and his face goes slightly red like it always did when he was embarrassed. God it’d been nearly twelve years. If he thought I couldn’t handle asking about his wife after all this time…
“We…erm…split up,” he says shifting.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I say and while I can’t help but feel a little thrill of triumph I do mean it. No one deserves to go through that. Especially with kids. “Who’s this?” I ask, my eyes turning to the young girl and she’s still looking from her father to me curiously.
“This is my daughter, Vanessa,” he says smiling proudly as he curls an arm around her shoulder and she smiles at me shyly. “Vanessa this is Skylar. She’s an old friend of mine.”
“Hi,” Vanessa says quietly and then looks at the ground and I smile.
“Nice to meet you.”
“How long you in town for?” Jeremy asks and I look back at him, seeing an uncertainty in his eyes.
“Just till Monday,” I say and he nods shortly, shifting his feet and he’s looking at me like he did when we were eighteen and he wanted to ask me to the prom. Surely he’s not going to-
“Do you think maybe you’d wanna-”
But he’s cut off as Vanessa lets out a shrill scream that causes all conversation in the diner to cease. Jeremy’s hands fall from my arms and I feel him then, behind me and when I turn I see his shoulders hunched cringing just slightly but he smiles down at Vanessa warmly, her eyes wide as saucers.
“Oh. My. GOD!” Vanessa trembles and Jeremy is bent towards her slightly alarmed, his hands on her small shoulders.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice slightly panicked and Vanessa’s hands peel from over her mouth.
“J-J-Justin Timberlake,” she stutters and I chuckle a little.
“Hi,” he says, giving her a short wave and she squeals slightly again. Jeremy’s eyes fall on him and he looks bewildered and confused.
“Oh my god! YOU!” Vanessa exclaims pointing at me. “You’re Sky! They said you were from around here!” She looks up at her father a frown pulling at her lips. “Why didn’t you tell me you dated Justin Timberlake’s girlfriend?”
I cringe and I feel Justin stiffen next to me, standing a little straighter. Jeremy does the same and I fight the urge to roll my eyes. Jeremy looks at me uncertainly asking if its true and I just give him a small smile. Justin’s arm slips possessively around my waist, tugging me against his side as he reaches out with his other hand.
“I’m Justin,” he says smiling brilliantly.
“Jeremy,” he responds, grasping Justin’s hand tightly giving it a short shake. Justin’s eyes turn to Vanessa.
“And what’s your name?” he asks smiling and I almost want to tell him to stop because the poor girl looks like she’s about to pass out on the linoleum.
“V-v-v-” she swallows hard and takes a deep breath. “Vanessa.”
“Hey Vanessa I’m Justin,” he says sweetly as he reaches out his hand to her and she stares at it for a moment awestruck before reaching out tentatively to grasp it.
She jolts when his skin touches hers as if he’d shocked her and when he goes to pull back she doesn’t let go right away so he has to spread his fingers wide, his large hand expanding until her small fingers can’t grip him anymore and he’s released, taking a step back towards me. It all happens so fast and so smoothly that it’s almost unnoticeable and I realize that he’s probably had to do that a million times. He’s tried to explain his frustration over the craziness before and I never really understood because I don’t know what it’s like. My hand moves to his back, pressing against his spine, letting him know I’m here, that I see and his fingers on my hip squeeze just slightly.
“Would you like me to sign something for you?” he asks and Vanessa clutches her hands to her chest, her hazel eyes wide and she can only nod.
Justin smiles, tugging a napkin from one of the holders on the counter and he dips his hand into the front pocket of his jeans, pulling out a sharpie. My fingertips press against his back teasing him for being ever prepared and he cuts his eyes at me before bending over and pressing the napkin to his leg as he scribbles “to Vanessa, the coolest girl in W.V.” and signs his name with a flourish.
“Here ya go,” he says handing it to her and capping the sharpie before slipping it back in his pocket.
Vanessa takes it with trembling hands and looks up at Justin wide eyed. She makes a squeaking noise that sounds slightly like “thank you” and Jeremy clears his throat. Justin’s smile hardens as his eyes fall on him.
“It was good to see you Skylar,” Jeremy says, his eyes flitting from me to Justin before nodding his head solemnly and ushering his daughter over to one of the booths. He nods politely at Justin who gives a short nod back. I fight the urge to shake my head. Boys…
Justin watches his retreating form for a moment before guiding me back to my barstool and plopping down next to me. Mr. Cosway ambles over with two plates, Justin’s piled considerably higher than mine and sets them in front of us. His eyes flick over to Jeremy and Vanessa.
“She okay?”
“Yeah,” I say, waving a hand dismissively as Justin ducks his head, taking a large bite of his sandwich. “Just excitable.”
“Jeremy works at the bank in town now,” Mr. Cosway says, cocking his head towards the diner window and I can barely make out the glowing sign of the local bank. “Molly’s a nurse out at Memorial West.”
I nod politely and I can feel Justin looking at me from the corner of his eye. Mr. Cosway smiles softly.
“Forgive an old man’s prodding,” he says as he leans closer in conference. “But you were always bigger than this place Sky. You didn’t need him tying you down.”
I blink at him slowly. Mr. Cosway always knew what was going on in town but he wasn’t a gossip. He knew the whens and the wheres of almost everything that happened in this sleepy little town and he was the one to go to if you needed information. When the Presbyterian Church’s potluck was. Where Mr. Jennings worked so I could go apologize for running over his mailbox when I was learning to drive. I’d never really thought about it but he surely knew the hows and the whys too. He was just too much of a gentleman to divulge them. But that didn’t mean he didn’t know what had happened between Jeremy, Molly and me.
His gray eyes are warm and kind, just like they’ve always been. I smile at him realizing what a compliment his words are.
“Thank you,” I say nodding and he grins at me before turning and walking back over to the window to the kitchen, chatting easily with the cooks.
“You dated that guy?” Justin asks, peeking over his shoulder discreetly as he chews and I nod mutely taking a bite of my sandwich. “He looks gay.”
I nearly choke on my food. “Justin!” I exclaim when I finally swallow, a laugh pushing from my throat.
“What?” he asks, his eyes twinkling as he regards his sandwich for a moment before taking a bite. “I can’t help it if the guy looks like he sucks co-”
“Justin!” I exclaim again, dropping my burger to my plate and he smirks at me, chewing slowly. “You are the biggest brat I swear.”
“Did you actually sleep with that guy?” Justin asks and I feel my cheeks redden.
“That’s none of your business,” I reply taking a sip of my shake and he eyes me.
“That’s fine,” he replies airily, popping French fries into his mouth and I give him a skeptical look.
“Really?” I ask, my voice cautious and he nods.
“Yeah I wouldn’t wanna say if I fucked him either,” Justin says shrugging and my mouth falls open, causing him to smirk at me cheekily.
“It’s none of your business who I’ve slept with is the reason I’m not telling you,” I shoot back and he narrows his eyes at me.
“You don’t think I have a right to know?” he asks and I smirk at him.
“Sure…yeah okay,” I say shrugging and he eyes me suspiciously. “That means I have a right to know who you’ve slept with.”
His face blanches and then he clears his throat.
“Fine, okay…but one question,” he says and I hesitate for a moment.
“If I can ask you one,” I reply and he hesitates uncertainly before sighing and giving me a nod. “Okay then.”
“He wasn’t your first was he?” Justin asks and I fight the urge to slam my head on the counter.
“No Justin he was not my first,” I reply rolling my eyes.
“Who was?”
“You only asked for one question,” I reply smarmily as I pop a fry into my mouth and he scowls at me. I can’t help but grin. “And now for my question,” I say and let out a sigh, trying to think of something good.
He looks uncomfortable and I wait just a little longer, prolonging his agony and he pokes nervously at his food. I smile.
“Did you really sleep with Janet Jackson?” I ask and he laughs, his face turning bright red and I know it’s true.
“Just…just once,” he says quickly and I can’t help it. I burst out laughing
He gives me a sheepish grin as I try to suppress my giggles with my hand. He chuckles slightly himself, looking back down at his plate and reaching up to flatten his hands over his curls like he always has when he is self conscious. I reach over and press my mouth to the side of his face, his skin flushed under my lips and I smile at him.
“Was she better than me,” I tease lightly and his blush deepens in the most adorable way and I can’t help giggling at him.
“You only asked for one question,” he replies and I chuckle at him shaking my head as I turn back to my food
But he leans towards me and presses his lips to my ear in a way that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up, his breath blowing hot against my ear.
“There has never been anyone better than you,” he whispers before pressing his lips to my cheek sweetly and turning back to his plate.
I look at him grinning and there is no way that I could ever love him more than I do right now.
Story Tags: boyfriendj companionstory missionary outdoorsex
