Good.

That one word completely ripped her heart out of her chest and tore it into a million and one pieces. She had run home and cried herself into a restless sleep. And now here she was, up since six in the morning sipping some orange juice and most likely looking like total hell. But she couldn't care less. She was hurting beyond anything your imagination could think up and everyone knew it. Yes, it was her fault for letting him find out what she had done in that way, but that didn't make it hurt any less. If possible it actually made her hurt even worse. That one word...all night she couldn't get that one word out of her mind, and here she was letting it get to her again.

Good.

How was it possible for one man to crush her life twice in one year? Because she let him. Because she let herself get close to him again and she knew it was a bad idea from the very beginning. She would only end up hurt in the end. And she did. But what was different this time was it was her fault...and she had hurt him just badly.

Deciding she couldn't sit there anymore reflecting on the drastic change of events that had occurred this summer, Raleigh put her glass in the sink and went upstairs to take a shower. When she got out, she was going to get Carly and go to the mall in Memphis. They only went there on occasion, usually once a month, possibly every two months, but she could make an exception this once. Tonight she was performing at the beach and she knew Josh was going to be there. With or without Erin by his side, she was going to put on the show of her with a new song and a new wardrobe. She was going to show everyone she could go on living without Joshua Scott in her life. And maybe, just maybe, Josh will see he can't go on without her in his.

---

Hearing the giggling of the two girls in Raleigh's bedroom, Deb sighed. She knew the happiness her daughter felt at that moment would be gone as soon as she began speaking. Knocking three times on her bedroom door, Deb waited for the "come in" before opening the door.

"Hey, momma. What's up?" Raleigh turned from her vanity and smiled at her mother. They had finally begun to get along and she couldn't be happier.

"I was just seeing if you were almost ready to go." Looking at her clad in her bath robe, she assumed it would be a while.

"Um, you and daddy can go ahead. Carly and I have to finish getting ready. We'll met you there."

"You sure?"

"yeah. You guys have to set up the refreshment table anyway. You should get going. I'll be there within the next hour."

"Alright. Bye girls, make sure you're there by four, at the latest."

"We will, bye." Carly waved to Deb and as soon as the door was closed, they began speaking and giggling once again. Raleigh was trying her best to not let the nerves take over her and she had been doing a pretty good job of it until her mother had come in and asked if she were ready yet. Of course all she really had to do was put on her dress and shoes, that would be taken off as soon as they arrived at the beach, but she could drag that on as long as need be.

"I see that look." Carly said as she finished curling her friend's hair.

"What look? I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ray, you're nervous. You can't lie or hide it from me."

"I think I have a reason to be nervous."

"You're right, you do. I just wish you wouldn't try to hide it from me." Putting the last curl in her hair, she set down the iron and turned to Raleigh. "You've worked on this song a million times, you have it down pat and there is no doubt in my mind that it won't make Josh come to a realization. I guarantee, before you leave for school you two will be back together. You guys belong with one another and everyone knows it, including him."

Trying to not let the tears fall, Raleigh hugged her best friend. She always got it, Carly always understood what exactly she was going through and she always said the right thing, the thing she always wanted to hear, but most of all, she knew that was what Carly believed. She told the story how it was, and Raleigh could only hope Josh would come back to her before she never saw him again.

"Come on hun, we should finish getting ready and get to the beach." Wiping her eyes and fixing her make up, Raleigh got up and grabbed her dress and sandals to change. Carly did the same and before they knew it, they were walking down the pier that led to the section of the beach the party was always at.

"You ready for this?" Carly asked as they walked and she looped her arm in Raleigh's.

Taking in a deep breath and slowly releasing it, Raleigh nodded her head in compliance. "As ready as I'm gonna be." And on they walked. As soon as their feet met the sand, the girls took off their shoes and immediately went to find their friends. Raleigh of course found her mother first to let her know she had arrived and would be ready to sing whenever needed.

---

Oh God.

There she was. Looking even more breath taking than normal. He could have slapped himself right then and there for the way he treated her the night before. Yes, she made a mistake, everyone makes mistakes. Why couldn't he just admit that he didn't care anymore? He loved her, he always would no matter what. She could kill someone and he probably would help her cover it up...hopefully that would never happen. The point was he still loved her more than ever and it killed him to know how mean he had been to her when she came to speak with him. No, being mean was a huge understatement. He was the biggest asshole on the face of the earth and he knew it, his friends told him in round about ways constantly.

Watching from the stage area, Josh felt the guilt thicken in his gut. He heard Erin speaking to him but he wasn't even pretending to acknowledge her this time. He was sick and tired of her and he hated the fact that Raleigh assumed they were together. He never thought he would care what someone thought about him until he didn't have Raleigh anymore, thanks to nobody but himself.

She was stunning standing there in her maroon halter dress, new he guessed. Her hair blew softly in the wind, curls blowing slightly around her face, her fingers gently brushing them back to the side. She was speaking animatedly with Joey and began laughing once again. And once again Josh felt the jealousy course through him. He hated seeing her with anyone else. He wasn't blind, he knew Joey liked Raleigh more than a friend or younger sister type. He also knew that if she ever decided to date him, he would be much better to her than James had been. But hopefully they wouldn't get together, because he still loved her...

He still wanted her.

---

Standing by Carly and Joey, Raleigh tried to not let the nerves affect her, it wasn't working so well. Of course she had never been nervous performing in front of a crowd before, but this song was special to her, it was deep and it would tell the entire world how she felt about what was going on with Josh and she. She didn't feel ready...she didn't feel as though she were good enough to be performing it already. But she had no choice. She needed Josh to hear it and this was the only way he ever would. She promised herself after today she wouldn't dwell on this any longer. Josh was the past and her future was coming soon. She would be in LA in two weeks preparing to start school, and Josh would be back at NYU...with Erin. She hated the foul taste that erupted into her mouth with one thought of the girl, but she swallowed the hatred down and took a few slow, deep breaths.

She would get through this.

She had to get through this.

Hearing her father announce her on stage, Raleigh fought the sudden urge to vomit everywhere and plastered a fake smile to her face and went up the four small steps and took the microphone from her father. Hopefully things would go smoothly...hopefully her nerves wouldn't ruin this for her.

"Hey guys. So, normally I do one of the old songs that the town votes as its favorite. This year I am going to do it a little differently. I have a new song and it desperately needs to be heard." Looking square at Josh, she tried to not turn away for he was staring back just as intently. "I hope ya'll like it as much as I do." The music began playing and right on beat she allowed the lyrics to flow freely from her lips, full of meaning and passion.

I never promised you a ray of light
I never promised there'd be sunshine everyday
I'll give you everything I have
The good, the bad

Why do you put me on a pedestal?
I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below
So help me down you got it wrong
I don't belong there

One thing is clear
I wear a halo
I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here
You wouldn't say so
You wouldn't say so if you were me
And I, I just wanna love you
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you

I always said that I would make mistakes
I'm only human
And that's my saving grace
I'll fall as hard as I try
So don't be blinded
See me as I really am
I have flaws and sometimes I even sin
So pull me from that pedestal
I don't belong there

One thing is clear
I wear a halo
I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here
You wouldn't say so
You wouldn't say so if you were me
And I, I just wanna love you
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you

Why you think that you know
But in your eyes
I am something above you
It's only in your mind
Only in your mind
I wear a
I wear
I wear a halo

One thing is clear
I wear a halo
I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here
You wouldn't say so
You wouldn't say so if you were me
And I, I just wanna love you
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you
I just wanna love you

Heeeey hey hey halo

Looking Josh square in the eyes once more, Raleigh said a quick "Thank you." to the cheering crowd, threw down the mike and ran off stage, to where, she didn't know. But she had to get out of there. She felt as though she were suffocating. She watched the emotion run though Josh's eyes and it was too much for her. Maybe she was imagining things, but she could swear she saw love, regret, and pain written in his eyes. One could only hope...but she was supposed to be over him right?

Right.

*Halo by Bethany Joy Galeotti (Haley James Scott)