As I shut the computer down and put my coat on I look at the picture on my desk that I have yet to take down. I just can not do it because then that means he is completely gone and out of my life forever. Thinking like that hurts too much. I guess it even hurts to look around my work building because he used to randomly show up here and surprise me on the weekends. He meant so much to me.
I was walking home from work one Friday afternoon
when I passed someone that i swore looked just like you
i had to stop and turn around
just so i could take a second look
and then i realized that you would not be there
so i turned back around and wiped away the tear that i let fall
God, I hate that. Why do I do this to myself. I was walking home from work and I swore I saw him. The guy definitely looked a little like him with his bright blue eyes, brown hair and perfect crooked nose. But, he was just to short to be Josh.
I’ve got to get over him. I turned down his offer and hurt him more then I thought I could by saying no so it is my fault and I need to quit it. I mean I can not even blame him because he did not do anything. I over reacted and said no without out even giving the offer a chance so its my fault and i ruined it.
I thought we were happy with the way things have been
it never even crossed my mind that you wanted it all right then
so when you asked me to move with you so it wouldn’t be so hard
and so we could build our life together and never be apart
I ran as fast as my feet would take me
to the nearest exit hoping you wouldn’t hate me
I miss him. How could I not? He was my life for almost a year and my weekends were consumed with flying out to random cities or showing him around my small little town. We used to have a blast here. No one new him and we could just walk around like a normal couple. I think that’s why he never complained when i asked him to come visit me because we could just be us, Riley and Josh. I’ve got to quit this, the more i think about it the more i hurt. So i put down the picture of us in my living room and crawled in to bed....even though it is 7 on a Friday night.
I lay my head on the pillow that you once used
and cry myself to sleep feeling dumb and confused
this why i go to sleep earlier everyday
especially if it’s a weekend i can sleep through the day
when I im finally asleep everythings okay
because we are together again and nothing has changed
