Forever.
The word echoed throughout Josh's head, playing over and over again like a broken record. He'd promised her he would love her forever. Did she really think he could forget so easily? Or that he could just fall out of love with her like she thought she could? Once she'd announced her engagement to Mr. Daniel Cooper, Josh had tried to squash the memories. He'd tried to erase the promise of forever from his mind, to put it all behind him. But like so many before him, it was an impossibility. Raleigh had called it an impossible promise to keep, but he knew better. For he was living proof that loving someone with every fiber of your being was entirely possible. And he knew somewhere, deep down inside, Raleigh knew it too.
She just had to. He'd felt it today. He remembered the way she used to look at him so clearly that he knew it was still there when she smiled at him, when her eyes widened at the sight of the Wate Plantation. She could try to fight them back or hide them, but he could read her so easily it was a wonder she was ever able to hide anything from him.
Okay, so maybe he didn't want to be responsible for breaking up a five-year relationship, but it was still there. He knew it. He felt it from the top of his skin when it burned at the slightest touch, all the way down into his heart, he could feel the searing passion that still burned between them. It was something that could never go away. Hidden and denied, yes, but just...gone? Never.
He just wished he could make Raleigh see that. Which was precisely why he was being a sneaky, devious bastard and calling the woman's twin brother in order to get the fiancé out of the house. He'd heard from Joey that Raleigh and Dan were leaving that night to go back to LA. Why so soon? He had a pretty good idea.
"Hey, Josh. What's up?"
"Heya, Bobby. Not much. Tell me something, is Ray up?"
"Uh, yeah she's been up. Not so sure she ever even went to bed honestly." Bobby paused for a moment before asking, "why?"
"I heard a rumor they were leaving early. I just wanted to come over and say goodbye. Who knows when I'll get to see her again, ya know?"
"Right. If that's the truth then I'm Peter Venkman." Josh let out a chuckle. Why did he even try?
"Fine. I do want to say goodbye, but I had such a great time playing catch-up with her last night that I'd like to hang out for a little bit before she's gone again. Do you think you could get Dan out of the house for a while?" God, he was such an asshole. Even his grin widened as he thought it.
"That depends."
"On?"
"What are your intentions with my little sister?" He asked in a dead-serious voice.
"They're entirely honorable, I swear." He heard Bobby let out a slight laugh followed by a loud sigh.
"She's gonna kill me for this, you know that right?"
"Thanks Bobby!
"You owe me, man. Just remember that." Josh hung up and immediately went to get ready. He felt as if he were a teenager going on his first date.
~*~
I wanted freedom, bound and restricted
I tried to give you up, but now I'm addicted
I won't let you bury it, our time is burning out
You wouldn't dream of breaking this fixation
Raleigh scribbled out the lines as she wrote them, becoming increasingly more frustrated that they wouldn't come out right. She could hear them along with the beat in her head so clearly, and yet as she tried to write them down they came out all wrong. She hadn't had so much trouble with a song in years. She wished she had her keyboard with her. Her parents had never bought a piano for the house. The only one resided at the café and she couldn't exactly go there to write a song in the middle of the breakfast rush. Throwing her notebook aside, Raleigh sat up, holding her hands out in front of her. Closing her eyes she tried picturing a piano in front of her. She recalled every key, each pedal, the smooth black surface of the grand piano sitting in their home in LA. When the vision became so distinct it was almost real, Raleigh began to play out the beat that had been tormenting her all morning.
Keeping her eyes closed, she allowed her fingers to play over the imaginary keys, the tune playing out perfectly only in her mind. She attempted singing the words she'd been writing along with it but became aggravated once again. They just didn't fit. Sighing, Raleigh opened her eyes and reached for her notebook. Scribbling out the notes she'd written earlier, she began a different tempo. More notes to be played in a shorter span of time, a much faster beat. One she could bop her head to. Suddenly she began thinking the piano was the wrong instrument for this beat she was trying so desperately to write. What she needed was a guitar or a set of drums. Unfortunately, she had neither at her disposal.
Scribbling out a few more notes, Raleigh switched her mindset from piano to guitar and once again imagined the instrument in her arms. She pictured each string and the sound it would make once strummed. She played out the notes she started with, easily flowing through the first chorus. Scribbling the notes into her notebook, she once again closed her eyes and continued playing in her mind.
She was running through the chorus again when she felt someone's hand on her shoulder. Raleigh felt her heart leap as she turned to see who had interrupted her.
"Hey, sorry didn't mean to scare you. Bobby asked me to drive up to Jackson with him."
"Jackson? That's like...an hour and a half away."
"Yeah, about. I'll see you in a bit." Dan leaned down to kiss the top of her head before turning and rushing out of the room, leaving a dumbfounded Raleigh in his wake.
"Okay." Raleigh shook her head, turning back to her notebook. "Looks like its just you and me for the day." For the next twenty minutes she attempted getting back that mental guitar so she could try finishing the song she'd started, but try as she might she failed miserably. She'd been too distracted.
Thinking some music might help her calm back down, Raleigh stood and walked over to her stereo, turning it to the local classic rock station. Bopping her head to the beat, Raleigh made her way over to her bulletin board. Looking over all the pictures she'd never bothered to take down, a feeling of nostalgia swept over her. She missed her friends, every tiny detail of her life before moving to LA. Actually, if she allowed herself to be honest, she missed what her life was before Josh had left for NYU.
Suddenly curious, Raleigh turned away from the board of memories and went to her closet. Leafing through all of her old clothes, she didn't stop until she came to the thing she'd been looking for. Shrugging as if to say ‘what the hell', Raleigh grabbed the hanger and took the outfit down. Nobody was home, therefore nobody would be able to make fun of her for what she was about to do.
~*~
Josh waited for the go ahead before leaving the house. He wanted to make sure he had as much time as possible with Raleigh before she left and he had no idea when he might see her again. Pulling up to the house, Josh parked right in front before turning off the ignition and stepping out onto the street. He made his way up to the front door and didn't even bother to knock. He knew she was the only person home and that more than likely she'd be up in her bedroom. According to Bobby, that's where she'd been all morning. He tried opening and closing the door as quietly as possible as to not tip her off to his arrival. As soon as he entered the house though he knew there was no reason for it. Music was blasting from her bedroom so loud, he doubted that she'd hear a car running into the house.
Making his way up the stairs, Josh headed down the hallway and stopped at her door. A smile immediately played upon his lips at what he saw. Not only was she dancing around like mad, her hair flying in every direction, and singing at the top of her lungs, but to top it all off, she was dressed in her old cheerleading uniform. He suddenly felt like he was back in high school, picking Raleigh up for a football game. Knowing her favorite part of the song was coming up, Josh ran up to her and grabbing her hand, he spun her around quickly, stopping her when she faced him and bending her backwards into a dip. When she came back up she was smiling with him and didn't miss a beat, falling right into step with him.
They sang and danced together, enjoying the old song as much as ever.
"I know that things are going wrong for me, you gotta listen to my words, yeah!" They sang together before Raleigh jumped on the bed and played air guitar to - in her opinion - the best guitar solo ever written.
When the song was over, they both collapsed on her bed, completely breathless yet laughing.
"Man, does that song bring back memories." Josh said, eliciting another laugh from Raleigh.
"Yeah, memories of you getting your ass kicked by a scrawny kid about three years younger than you!"
"I never said I chose my fights wisely." Sighing, Raleigh made herself stand up. Being on her bed so close to Josh was beginning to make her uncomfortable...not because the close proximity bothered her, but because of the fact that it didn‘t bother her. Either way she needed to move.
Rolling onto his side, Josh rested his head on his hand as he looked at Raleigh, standing tall before him in the uniform he always loved her in. "So. Feeling nostalgic?"
Looking down at the ridiculous ensemble, Raleigh shook her head. "Yeah, I guess so. I wondered if it still fit."
"Fits perfectly in my eyes." Raleigh smiled slightly before looking down and playing with the hem of her skirt. Josh immediately knew something was bothering her and sat up. Scooting to the edge of the bed, he reached forward and grabbed her hand, stopping her fidgeting. "Hey, what's wrong?"
She was silent for a moment or two before bringing her eyes up to meet his. "Do you ever miss it?"
"Miss what?"
"High school?" Josh tried not to laugh. Was she serious? She had to know his feelings on the subject. Regardless, he answered honestly.
"Every day." They sat there like that, Raleigh's hand in Josh's, just staring into one another's eyes, for a minute before Raleigh removed hers from his grasp and turned around, walking over to her dresser. As she pretended to play with her knick knacks, she cleared her throat.
"So what are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see you once more before you went back to LA."
"How did you know I was leaving tonight?"
"Come on, did you really think someone wouldn't tell me?"
"I'm gonna guess Joey."
"And you would guess correctly." Raleigh let out a small laugh. Joey couldn't keep a thing from anyone. "So as much as I love seeing you in this outfit again, you may want to change before we leave."
"And what makes you think I'll agree to go anywhere with you?" Her voice took on a teasing tone as she crossed her arms and raised her face into the air.
"Easy. Curiosity." He took a few steps closer to her and fought the urge to run his fingers through her hair. "You're dying to know where it is that I want to take you." Raleigh contemplated denying it but knew it would be a wasted effort. Sighing, she turned and grabbed a few things out of her dresser before heading into the bathroom.
"Just let me change." Figuring there was really only one place left that they hadn't visited the night before, Raleigh grabbed a few things out of her dresser before heading into the bathroom to get dressed.
When she came out a few minutes later clad in jean shorts and a button down short-sleeved shirt, she expected Josh to be poking around in her bedroom waiting for her. When there was no sign of him she headed downstairs to find him.
After calling out his name for a few minutes and walking around the downstairs, Raleigh eventually found him hanging out in the backyard.
"Here you are." Josh stood up and turned around.
"Oh, I thought you'd take longer." She just shrugged and began to feel uncomfortable as he just stared at her, taking in her appearance. A smile began tugging up his lips and she couldn't take it anymore.
"What?"
"Nothing. Its just nice seeing the old Ray." Rolling her eyes, Raleigh turned and walked through the house back to the front door to grab her bag. "I'm serious." Josh called, following her. "All you need is a cowboy hat and the look would be complete."
"Sorry to inform you, but the hoedown throw down isn't for another couple months. And I probably won't be here for it anyway."
"Why not?"
"I don't know. I guess I just haven't thought about going in years so thinking about it now just seems...foreign to me somehow."
"You used to be queen of the hoedown." Raleigh laughed, locking the front door.
"Best accomplishment of my life. ‘Hoedown Throw Down Queen.' Add it to my résumé."
"Oh shut up and get in." Josh lightly shoved her towards the truck he borrowed from his dad. He couldn't believe how much he'd missed the old truck, and it still ran great.
"I can't believe your dad still has this thing. What is it? A ‘67?"
"He's never going to get rid of this thing and you know it." Raleigh just smiled and leaned her head back, watching as the scenery began passing them by. It wasn't long after they started driving that they reached the long corn fields separating houses. That was when Raleigh's earlier suspicions about where he was taking her were confirmed. Like so many other places, she hadn't been there in almost six years, and she suddenly couldn't wait to see it again. It looked like she wasn't the only one feeling nostalgic.
"Why so quiet?"
"No reason specifically. I'm just relaxed. More relaxed than I‘ve been in a long time."
Josh let out a short chuckle. "I couldn't agree with you more."
Raleigh was normally the type to have to fill the silence with loud music or inane chatter, but with Josh she was perfectly comfortable just sitting there and watching the world pass them by. She'd rolled the window down and enjoyed the wind as it blew threw the cab of the truck, blowing her hair around her face.
"So how long are you planning on this break for your band?" Josh asked her suddenly.
"Um..." Feeling caught off guard, Raleigh tried to think of her plans for the band. "Just until after the wedding and honeymoon. Then we'll be getting back into the studio to work on some new material."
"When's the wedding?"
"October." Raleigh's response was quiet, unsure of why he was asking.
"That's four months away. You could get a lot of work done on an album in that time."
"Yes you're right. But because I've been touring the last eight months we haven't really gotten much planning done. There's a lot to do for a wedding. Much more than I ever anticipated."
"It can't be that much. I mean you always wanted a small wedding. Only our closest friends and family." Josh noticed the slip in his words but didn't say anything. Nor did Raleigh. The fact that he'd even let the word come out was uncomfortable enough.
"Well, there's a lot more people in my life that I care about now that I know would be crushed if they didn't get an invite." Raleigh began picking at her cuticle. "But if I'm honest, I would prefer the small wedding. Dan kind of wants the big one."
"I won't pretend to understand why. You already know I agree with you." Glancing over, Raleigh met Josh's eyes for the briefest of moments, but the connected gaze spoke volumes.
Clearing her throat, Raleigh returned to looking out her window. "So where are you taking me?"
"I think you already know." She could hear the smile in his voice. He was enjoying himself. If he asked her, Raleigh would easily say she was enjoying herself as well. She'd completely forgotten how much fun he could be in the midst of their arguing and avoidance.
After another fifteen minutes, Josh turned off the road onto a narrow gravel road surrounded by trees, leaving them cast in shadow.
"I've always loved this road." Raleigh noted, eliciting a laugh from Josh. "What's so funny about that?"
"You've always loved it because it made you feel like you're in a horror movie."
"Not when the sun is shining like it is today." They drove down the road for a few more minutes before the trees cleared to a large field with a small lake. Raleigh suddenly became very antsy to run over to the lake, strip off her clothes and jump in. She never felt more free and alive than when she swam with abandon. She loved the feel of the water on her hot skin, the weightless feel of her body as she waded in the water. The water may have looked murky and dirty, but she loved it for some reason.
As soon as the truck stopped, Raleigh threw her door open and jumped out. Looking back at Josh she yelled, "Last one in's a rotten egg!" before taking off towards the water, ripping off her shorts and shirt, throwing them in any direction as she ran.
"Cheater!"
"Come on Josh! I'm winning." Raleigh glanced behind her just in time to see Josh rip off his t-shirt. She had to force herself to look back in the direction she was headed. Once she made it to the edge of the lake she stopped and kicked off her shoes, but in those few seconds Josh had caught up to her and grabbed her around the waist. Hoisting her over his shoulder - fully enjoying the sound of her squealing laughter - Josh ran into the water, not stopping to throw Raleigh into the water as far as he could.
"You're dead!" Raleigh yelled to him after she came up, swimming to him as fast as she could.
They played like that in the water for almost an hour. When Raleigh began feeling the exhaustion of roughhousing in the water mixed with not sleeping the night before, she told Josh she had to get out. He told her to just hang out by the edge of the water while he went back to the truck to grab a few things. When he came back she saw him carrying a cooler and a blanket. That boy thought of everything.
Raleigh helped him lay out the blanket then wasted no time in plopping down on top of it, unable to control her eyes as they closed. It wasn't that she wanted to sleep right then and there, it was more of the fact that she was so comfortable at that point in time that she just wanted to lie there with him, soaking up the sun and remembering all the times they'd come out there with their friends and each other.
Raleigh had begun to let out a contented sigh when she suddenly felt ice cold water splash on her stomach. She gasped and opened her eyes, watching as Josh laughed at her facial expression. Sitting up as fast as she could, Raleigh snatched the water bottle out of Josh's hand and proceeded to dump the remainder of the water on his head.
"Two can play that game!" She said just as he leapt on top of her, pinning her to the ground as his hands assaulted her sides, tickling her until she was laughing so hard she couldn't breathe.
"Surrender!"
"Never!" She screamed back at him, gasping for breath as she tried, and failed, to not let the tickling get to her. She tried reaching for a piece of ice in the cooler but Josh intercepted her, grabbing her wrist.
"Oh you want ice huh?" Raleigh's eyes widened as she saw Josh's hand go for the cooler.
"No!" She barely got out before she felt the stinging sensation of the freezing ice on her belly. She let out a scream along with another laugh as he continued his torture on her. "Ok ok, uncle!"
"Victory is mine!" Josh threw his hands up in the air before rolling off Raleigh and lying down beside her on the blanket.
"You're such an asshole." Raleigh laughed out, breathless.
"So you keep telling me."
Raleigh closed her eyes again, allowing the sun to warm her skin, when she heard music begin to play. Opening her eyes, she saw that Josh had also brought a small radio with him. He really did think of everything. He'd put on a classic rock station before settling beside her yet again. His hands behind his head, his legs crossed at the ankles, and completely shirtless and soaking wet, Raleigh had never seen a more beautiful sight. She had to swallow hard and force herself to look away from the sight.
They lied together for a while, completely unaware of how much time had actually been passing, just listening to the music.
Feeling like she was beginning to burn, Raleigh turned over onto her stomach, unable to stop herself from looking at Josh again. He looked completely at ease. He looked happy. He looked just the same as he did last time they'd been here. She couldn't fathom how at that exact point in time he could look so much younger than when she'd first laid eyes on him in the airport almost two weeks ago. It made her wonder if she'd looked much older to him as well. Did their career age them that much?
"Why are you staring at me?" His voice startled her slightly. He'd looked so peaceful she was sure he'd fallen asleep.
"I'm not."
"Sure. Your eyes have been on my face for that last five minutes. Some would consider that staring." He opened one eye and peaked at her.
"I'm sorry." She felt her face blush, but she still didn't look away. She couldn't."
"What's on your mind?"
"You." She blurted before thinking it through. He closed his eye again and smiled.
"I'm liking this."
"Shut up. I was just thinking about the last time we were here. And how you look exactly the same now as you did then."
"No I don't." Raleigh pretended to study his physical appearance for a moment.
"You're right. You're more muscular now. And your hair is longer." Not thinking about what she was doing, Raleigh reached out her hand and ran it through his grown out curls. They felt just as silky as she imagined. "I like your hair like this." Josh's eyes opened and met hers, and for the tiniest second Raleigh felt as though she wanted to kiss him. But that thought went as fast as it had come and she tore her eyes away from his gaze, taking back her hand.
They lied the for a while longer in the silence that still was not uncomfortable. Neither spoke again until a song came on the radio that made Raleigh smile instantly.
"I love this song."
"You always have." She bopped her head along to the beat, lowly singing to herself, not realizing how calming that was to Josh. He could have easily fallen asleep with her there singing like that to him. The sound of her voice was just so soothing to him. He'd told her when they were younger that she could sing the phonebook to him and it would still be soothing. He watched her face as she sang the song, unable to look away. She was just so captivating.
"Whose the one staring now?" Raleigh glanced at him, a smirk on her face.
"I can't help it. Your beauty entrances me." He watched her reaction to his words, not surprised when she blushed again. "And I was wondering if you still dance as well as you sing."
"Of course I still dance."
"I didn't mean to offend you, Ray. Its just that...well your music isn't exactly something that you can dance to."
"That doesn't mean I don't dance."
"Mm. Not sure I believe you."
"Joshua Scott, is that a challenge?"
"Take it as you will." The song on the radio changed to Michael Jackson's The Way You Make Me Feel and he Josh immediately knew she was going to get up and dance for him. She couldn't pass up Michael, and she didn't disappoint. She immediately stood up and backed away from him.
"Watch and learn." Josh sat up slightly, leaning back on his arms, watching how her body moved to the music, the words wrapping around her like a caress. He knew she could dance but this was so much different somehow. So much more...erotic even though he knew that's not how she meant it to be. But just watching her hips move, the way she'd dip down low, or bend backward at a certain part in the song. It was all so seductive.
Finally, near the middle of the song, he couldn't sit there and watch her dance for him anymore. He had to get up and dance with her, he had to feel her beneath his touch. He needed to feel her as she relaxed into his touch like she used. The way she trusted him as he lead her movements. They'd danced together so many times, it was easy getting the rhythm back. And when the song was over, it was much more difficult to step away from one another than it should have been.
They stood there beside the lake for a moment, eyes locked together. A smile lit up Raleigh's face as she suddenly shoved Josh back, catching him off guard as she ran back towards the lake.
"You can't get away from me that easily!" Josh ran after her, catching her as soon as her foot hit the water and, wrapping his arms around her waist, he lifted her up, charging into the water with her once again.
They played and swam for a while longer before getting out, both entirely exhausted.
"I could sleep for days." Raleigh said lazily, dropping down to the blanket once again.
"That sounds nice." Josh grabbed a water out of the cooler and handed it to Raleigh before grabbing himself one. Raleigh took a large drink of water, followed immediately by a large growl from her stomach, eliciting a laugh from both of them.
"I guess I stole you before you could eat, huh?"
"Yeah you did. And my stomach seems angry about it too."
"I suppose we can head back into town, grab some sandwiches or something."
"Sounds like a plan." Raleigh said, reluctantly. Unwilling to admit that she wasn't entirely ready for their outing to end. She was having way too much fun. A dangerous amount of fun if she were being honest.
They packed up the few things they brought and followed the trail of their strewn clothes back to the truck, not bothering to dress just yet since they were both still very wet. Instead, Josh laid the blanket down on the seat so they wouldn't ruin the leather with the lake water.
On their way back into town they began talking. Talking about any and everything that came to mind, and yet very obviously avoiding talking about Dan, Erin, or their shared past. They mainly tried to catch up on one another's lives - minus those details - and tried to fill in the gaps that they'd missed.
Before they knew it they'd reached the town limits and before Raleigh knew what she was saying, she'd told Josh to just drive right through. As hungry as she was she didn't really want to stop yet. He happily obliged, not ready for their time to be over yet either.
Eventually they stopped at a small, hole-in-the-wall café outside of town and sat to eat a late lunch. When they were done, Josh found himself asking, "Do you have to leave tonight?"
Biting her lip, Raleigh couldn't make herself look at him when she answered. "Yes. This is supposed to be the start of mine and Dan's vacation and we have a lot of arrangements that need to get done as soon as possible." And I need to get away from you, she added silently to herself.
"Justin and Carly are coming home in two days. I'd figure you'd want to stay to at least say goodbye to them." Raleigh sat there silently, tearing apart her left over bread. He knew he'd struck a chord but he also knew that she was very stubborn when her mind was made up. She had it in her head that they had to leave that night and so they would be. Nothing he said could change that.
He sighed and took a sip of his coffee. "Am I going to see you after this? Ever? Or are you going to go back to avoiding me?"
"Josh, we live on opposite ends of the country. We won't see each other either way."
"But do you want to?" Biting her lip, Raleigh thought about that question seriously. Did she want to see him again after she went back to LA? More than she should. But would she see him? Probably not. So she did the easy thing and lied.
"I don't know." Josh just nodded and motioned to her plate.
"Are you finished?"
"Yeah." He stood up and placed a couple bills on the table.
"Ok. I should get you back to the house. Dan's probably back by now wondering where you are." This time when they got back into the truck, it was filled with uncomfortable silence. Neither one saying what they wanted to so badly.
About twenty minute had passed until Josh pulled in front of Raleigh's house. She grabbed her bag and moved to get out when Josh suddenly grabbed her arm.
"Whether I see you again or not, I'm glad you were with me the last two days. I've had more fun that I can remember having in the last six years."
"Me too." She could see in his eyes that he didn't believe her so she leaned over and gave him a hug, one that probably lasted longer than it should have, but she needed him to know that she really did have a great time. Pulling away, she gave him a smile before turning away and opening the door. Looking back at him, her smile suddenly turned sad. "Goodbye Josh."
"Bye, Ray." He sat there and watched her walk up to the house, the entire time feeling like it was the last time he was ever going to see her. When she closed the front door behind her he sped off down the road, one of the darkest moods he'd ever been in beginning to settle over him.
As soon as Raleigh stepped inside the house it was like a pack of angry lions pounced on her. In this case, that pack of angry lions were her twin brother and her fiance. Annoyance immediately welled up inside her at Dan's protectiveness.
"Where the hell have you been? I've been calling your cell for hours and it just goes straight to voice mail, something apparently you've neglected to check."
"I'm sorry, Dan. My phones been in roaming all day. I was out with a friend."
"Let me guess. This friend was Josh, am I right?" Raleigh fought the urge to roll her eyes.
"So what if it was? He's just a friend." She watched as he shook his head. "I'm going to go up and pack. Feel free to stay down here." Raleigh stormed upstairs and into her room, locking the door behind her. Why? Why did he have to be so jealous? Why couldn't he accept the fact that Josh was nothing more to her than a friend and let them hang out without the twenty questions? She knew exactly why but refused to admit the answer to herself. It didn't matter.
They were going back to LA, and while she didn't delude herself into believing she'd never see Josh again, she would try her hardest to stay away from him. For Dan's sake. And slightly for her own. She knew that wherever Josh was concerned she always got into trouble. It was always her own fault, but it seemed like it always involved him somehow.
Yes, she would just avoid him. It shouldn't be too hard. She'd done it for five years, right?
Right. She knew better than anyone things didn't always go according to plan.
Story Tags: Be the first to add a tag to this story
