Slowly coming to a state of consciousness, Raleigh remained unmoving for as long as she could, entirely too comfortable as she lay in her bed. She listened to the sound of the morning birds chirping outside her window, smelled the scent of Daniel's coffee as it finished brewing. But then the realization finally hit her that she was no longer at her home in Tennessee and her eyes slowly opened, a feeling of homesickness washing over her. She'd known it was going to be hard going home for the wedding, but she never expected it to be so difficult to leave. The week and a half they'd spent in her home town suddenly seemed unreal, as if she'd dreamt everything that had happened. A dream that was slowly beginning to fade away. She didn't want to lose those memories. In fact, if she were honest, she wanted to keep making those memories.

She truth was, she didn't want to be back in LA. She didn't want to be waking up in this bed surrounded by the extravagance of their home. She wanted to be waking up in her frilly pink bed surrounded by her awful floral wallpaper and her gaudy cheerleading trophies. She wanted to be home. When had this stopped feeling like home to her?

Sighing, Raleigh slowly rolled out of bed and walked over to her window, overlooking the large backyard. The view she had of the land from the back of their house was amazing. She could first see the patio, then the pool and hot tub, followed by a large yard. The guest house sat at the edge of the property where the gate stood, which opened up to a large expanse of trees. It was all so exquisite and yet all she could do was compare it to the view she had from her own bedroom back in Shelby.

It had only been a week, but she wanted to go home.

Letting out another sigh, Raleigh turned away from the window and the view it offered and grabbed her robe, slipping it on she headed downstairs to make herself something to eat.

Upon entering the kitchen, Raleigh noticed only one thing. Dan was getting ready to leave for the office again. The first day they were home he'd gone straight to the office, leaving her there alone, which if she were honest she really didn't mind. He'd explained to her that they were working on some big production that he needed to get on top of right away, but she had a feeling it was more than that. He'd been acting weird towards her ever since they left Tennessee. Actually, he'd been acting this way even before they left there. She was hoping it was due to the ex's presence and that as soon as they were back in LA he'd be fine, that he'd go back to his normal, loving self but he was acting just as coldly as he'd been during their trip. It was getting old really fast.

Planting a smile on her face like nothing was wrong, Raleigh walked over to her fiancé and put her arms around his waist from behind. "Good morning."

"Good morning." To her surprise he turned around in her arms and hugged her back, kissing her full on the lips. Perhaps his moodiness was over and things would be going back to normal. Finally.

"You're in a better mood." She commented.

"Yeah, I know I've been kind of impossible all week. I'm sorry. I talked to Leslie this morning and she made me realize how much of an idiot I was being about...everything."

"Oh yeah? And how did she do that?"

"She said 'Danny, you're being an idiot.'" Raleigh laughed along with Dan and leaned up to kiss him again. She was so happy to have him back.

"I knew I made the right choice in loving that girl." He just laughed as he kissed her on the forehead.

"Unfortunately I have to go to work, but I'll be home around 6, so try and be ready by then so I can hop into the shower."

"Be ready?" She looked at him, confused. Did she forget about plans they may have had?

"Yeah. I'm taking you out to dinner. So be ready." Grabbing his bag, he stopped to give her another quick kiss before heading out of the kitchen.

"Ok." Raleigh muttered, stunned. She was amazed at how quickly his sour mood had turned. She absolutely loved Leslie. Nobody had the ability to make him realize how big of a jerk he could be like she did.

After making herself some breakfast, Raleigh decided that she didn't really have much to do today so she would clean as much of the house as she could, so she went upstairs to throw on a pair of shorts and a tank top. When she got back downstairs she immediately went for the stereo and filled the house with the music of a small local radio station that she absolutely loved. She didn't know why, but she found that she could not clean unless there was music blasting, giving her energy and motivation to get moving. Once the music of a rock song hit her ears, she found herself bopping her head to the beat and she set to cleaning the downstairs.

She was vacuuming, dusting, and windexing everything in sight for over two hours, taking tiny breaks to dance or sing along to a song she got really into. When it came close to noon, she had just decided to take a break to eat something for lunch when the doorbell rang. Setting down her cleaning supplies, Raleigh wiped her hand on her shorts as she went to answer the front door. Peering through the window, Raleigh smiled seeing who stood there. Unlocking the door she threw it open and immediately threw her arms around him.

"Wow, I missed you too." He laughed, hugging her back tightly.

“Of course I missed you, Kevin. I haven‘t been apart from you for more than three days for over a year.”

“Right so you’d think you’d be sick of me.”

“Never. Come on, get your ass in here. I was about to make myself some lunch, you want anything?” She shut the door behind him then started walking towards the kitchen, knowing he would follow her.

“Is that a serious question?” He laughed as he followed her to the kitchen.

“Right. So, what would you like? We have ham, turkey, cheese, bologna…” She stopped counting off the makings of a sandwich that she could offer and looked at his facial expression. “Peanut butter and jelly?”

“Uh, yeah!”

“I don’t know why I bothered.” Raleigh grabbed the jelly out of the fridge then turned to grab the jar of peanut butter out of the pantry, smooth, just the way she knew he liked it. “So what’s up?” She asked as she set to work on making his PB&J.

“Not much. Just want to catch up. How was the wedding?”

“Amazing. Carly looked so beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look so happy.”

“Awesome. No drama? Everything went perfect?” Raleigh couldn’t help but snort at the idea of everything going smoothly.

“I wish.”

“Uh-oh. What happened? They break up the day before the wedding?” Raleigh suppressed a laugh. Kevin was her favorite band mate for the fact that he was a borderline woman. He liked gossip more than anyone she knew.

“Actually, yeah.”

“What?! You’ve gotta be kidding.”

“I wish I was.” Raleigh turned and handed Kevin his sandwich. “You know where the chips are if you want them.” Turning back around she set to work on her own lunch.

“Yeah. So why’d they break up?”

“Well, you see it turns out I was a slut and slept with the groom when I was 17 and Carly found out about it right then.” Kevin just looked at Raleigh for a moment before bursting into laughter.

“Wow, Ray. You are like the worst maid of honor ever!”

“Shut up!” Raleigh threw a chip at him before sitting down to eat her lunch. “I was all upset and drunk and Justin was there. It honestly wasn’t even about the sex.”

“Oh wait, this is the guy you slept with after deciding to get the big A, isn‘t it?”

“Yeah.” This was another reason Kevin was her favorite. It was so easy to talk to him about her dirtiest secrets and she knew he would never tell a soul.

“Damn.” He just shook his head, taking a bite of his sandwich. “How’s JC?”

“Josh. I hate that stupid nickname. He’s good…better. Wasn’t drowning himself in alcohol so that’s a plus.” Kevin could tell she wanted to add something so he remained silent, quietly eating. “I told him. Everything that happened at school five years ago.”

“Really?” Raleigh just nodded, picking at her food now more than eating it. “How’d that go?”

“As expected. Yelling, crying, pitying, and then understanding.”

“I’m proud of you, Ray. You’ve been fighting with that for a long time.” He put his hand on hers for a moment before asking the inevitable, causing her to subconsciously pull away from him. “How are the nightmares?”

“Uh, I haven’t had any since being home.”

“Good.”

"So what about you? Have you talked to your parents since you've been back?"

"I talk to them everyday." Kevin looked away from her and pretended to pick something off his jeans.

"Kev, you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." He sighed, running his hand through his multi-colored hair. She knew this was a touchey subject but she also knew he wouldn't ever talk to them without her coaxing him to do so. "It's just so..."

"Scary?" She offered. She remembered how frightened she'd been when she had to tell her parents something unpleasant. What she'd had to tell them and what Kevin had to tell his parents were similar in the fact that they were both life changing. She wished she could give him a guarantee that they wouldn't kick him out, but unfortunately she couldn't.

"Yeah. Every time we're all sitting there just watching TV or something and I have the opportunity to tell them I hesitate long enough to talk myself out of it." Leaning forward, Raleigh placed her hand over his, knowing all she could do was be there for him.

"Do you think it might be easier to tell them if you had someone there for support?"

"You would go with me?" Raleigh couldn't help but to smile at the hopeful look in his eyes.

"If you wanted me to, of course I would." Kevin stood up and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly to him.

"You don't know what that would mean to me."

"That's what friends are for." Was all she said, hugging him back. She held on to him for a moment before backing away. "So. You want to tell me why you really stopped by?"

He laughed lightly as he grabbed their now empty plates and walked over to put them in the sink. "I was hoping you weren't completely into your vacation and that you might help me with something."

"I'm assuming this something would be a song."

"You would assume correct." He didn't miss the look on her face and instantly felt bad for asking. This hiatus was mainly for her benefit so he knew she didn't want to think about working so soon after the tour had ended, but he couldn't deny the fact that when it came to writing lyrics she was pretty much a goddess. Holding his breath, he watched as she debated with herself. Should she or shouldn't she? Finally, she sighed and he knew the decision to help had been made.

"All right. Let me see what you have so far." Kevin handed her some folded up pieces of paper out of his pocket and followed her upstairs to the bedroom she had turned into a studio. "What is this meant to be played on? It doesn't look like it should be played on bass."

"Nah, I started on guitar. But I'm not sure if that sounds right either." Raleigh set the papers on her soundboard and went to grab her guitar. Handing it to Kevin, she asked him to play what he had written so far for her. When he was finished playing the notes he'd written, Raleigh said she agreed with him, guitar didn't sound right either.

"I love the beat you have going here but let's try it out on the piano." They stayed up in the studio, playing out what Kevin had written on different instruments and slowly working to finish the song. Once they felt they had a good base to work off, they began adding in harmonizing pieces to help it flow. Raleigh had a program on her computer that allowed her to take a recorded rhythm and change it between instruments to see how it would sound. They played around with different tempos, adding in those they thought sounded right until they felt the tune was complete. After a few hours of hard work they had an instrumental piece that was semi-upbeat and entirely too haunting. Raleigh absolutely loved it. She wasn't sure she even wanted to add lyrics for fear of it taking away from the music.

Hearing the large Grandfather clock in the study go off, Raleigh realized it was now five o'clock and she needed to get ready.

"You have to go. I need to get ready for dinner. Dan's taking me out."

"Sweet. Do you know where he's taking you?" Kevin helped Raleigh put instruments away and picked up the loose papers.

"Nope. It’s a surprise."

"Awesome. Hope you have fun. Thanks so much for helping me with this. I had a blast."

"Anytime, Kev. I mean it." Raleigh gave him a hug and watched as he left before shutting and locking the front door and running upstairs to get in the shower. She had less than an hour to get ready now and knew she'd need just as long to get ready.

Once in the shower, Raleigh tried to rush through it, shaving her legs and washing every inch of herself as fast as she possibly could. When she was done with that task she set to work on blow drying her hair then wrapping it in curlers. By the time she was done with all this she had only ten minutes before Dan would be home so she wasted no time putting on her make-up. She'd just finished up when she heard the front door open and close, followed by footsteps up the stairs. Raleigh was putting her make-up bag back into its drawer when Dan poked his head in the doorway.

"Hey, you're not ready."

"I know, I'm sorry. I just have to get dressed and finish my hair. I'll be done by the time you are."

"Ok." He kissed her lightly before turning and starting the shower and Raleigh went back into the bedroom to find something to wear. She decided on a fitted dark purple dress that fell just above the knee and had thin straps. Lying it on the bed, Raleigh turned to the large mirror hanging above her dresser and began taking the curlers out of her hair. Once they were all out she brushed through the curls, slipped on her dress and heels and looked at her appearance in the mirror. She thought she looked pretty good given that she'd gotten ready in only an hour.

Daniel walked out of the bathroom and Raleigh had to take a moment to truly appreciate the way her fiance looked. He'd just shaven, his face looking nice and smooth, every curl was in its place, and the tight black button down shirt he wore, with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, and the black slacks just made his green eyes stand out so much more. The scent of his body wash, shampoo, and after shave wafted over her, causing her to inhale deeply. He smelled nearly as amazing as he looked.

"What's wrong?" He asked, adjusting his sleeve.

"I feel like I'm not worthy to walk on your arm." A small smile curved up the corner of his mouth as he stepped closer to her.

"On the contrary," He placed a hand on her waist, pulling her towards him. "It is I that is not worthy of your beauty." He leaned down and gently placed his lips on hers. Raleigh wrapped her arms around his neck and felt herself move up on her tip-toes, slowly deepening the kiss.

Pulling away, Dan slowly kissed along her jaw line and up to her ear. "We should go or you're not going to get me out of this house."

"A tempting predicament." Raleigh leaned into his kiss before backing away. "But I am starving. Let's go." Grabbing his hand, she pulled him from the room.

"You, my dear, are positively evil." Raleigh just laughed. She loved knowing how she affected her fiance. It was one thing she hoped never died between them.

*~*

The bell dinged as the elevator doors opened, alerting Josh that he had arrived on the twenty-second floor at last. He never thought he'd make it. It seemed like his elevator had to stop on nearly every floor to pick up or drop off a rider. Stepping out of the confining area, he made his way down the long hallway, stopping at the sixth door on his right-hand side.

"Good morning, Mr Chasez. Darryl's been waiting for you."

"Morning, Becky." Josh mumbled with a weak smile before opening his manager's office door. The first thing he noticed was that the man was on the phone, as usual, so Josh shut the door behind him and plopped down in one of the chairs opposite the large desk. Letting his head lull back, he stared up at the ceiling, imagining being anywhere else. It's not that he didn't like his career. He loved it, and despite how annoying Darryl could be, he loved him as well. But ever since he'd returned to New York only one thing had been on his mind, and it wasn't his work. It was Raleigh. No matter how much time had passed, no matter how much animosity was exchanged between them, no matter how many times she'd tell him that her feelings for him had vanished, he couldn't get her off his mind. She was like the flu. Try as you might to fight it, it eventually seeps in and you're screwed. He wanted to be friends with her, he truly did, but how could she expect him to turn off his feelings like she did? He'd loved her from the first moment he spoke to her when he was six and he knew that no matter what they endured, he was always going to love her. He was always going to want to be with her. Why couldn't she see that?

He never should have broken up with her. It had been the most difficult decision he'd ever had to make, and it was also the biggest mistake of his life. If he'd never broken up with her, where would they be today? They’d probably be married by now. She probably never would have gotten the abortion, they'd probably still be living in Tennessee, and they'd probably be happy.

What was the use in dwelling on the what if's of their past? It wouldn't change anything. She was so far in denial that she was in love with Dan - maybe she was, he could never know for sure - that she would never allow herself to see how perfect she and Josh were together. How perfectly they fit one another. Did she just not think of him? Is that how she got through the past five years? By imagining he, along with their shared past, didn't exist?

It seemed like she was beginning to accept him, allowing him back into her life with all the time they'd spent together in Tennessee. But then she'd dropped the bomb on him that she didn't think that they'd see each other again. He wondered if she'd said that it wasn't a good idea simply because she was scared. Because she did still feel something for him that was
getting harder and harder to ignore. That idea lifted his spirits immensely. Perhaps all he needed to do was to keep trying. To continue being a part of her life whether she wanted him to or not.

Hearing Darryl finally say goodbye to whomever he was speaking with, Josh lifted his head and looked at his manager.

"Thanks for coming in so quickly, JC."

"No problem." Darryl's voice was laced with thick sarcasm. Josh found it easy to respond with a smile. He'd called him in over an hour ago but Josh didn't feel like getting there in a hurry. He hadn't really felt motivated to go in.

"You look like shit. What've you been doing to yourself?"

Josh let out a slight chuckle and reached up to run fingers across his scruffy face. He hadn't shaved since he'd gotten home and he knew very well how crappy he looked. "Thanks, man. Appreciate it."

"Seriously. You ok? You look like you haven't slept in days."

"I'm fine. Now what'd you call me in here for so early?" The truth was he hadn't had a full night's rest since Raleigh went back to LA. What the hell was wrong with him?

Noting that he really didn't want to discuss his sleep habits - or lack thereof - Darryl moved onto business. "I have your next project in mind."

"A project, huh? Not just another album and tour like my contract says?"

"Your contract says four albums, five tours, multiple appearances and side projects. You know that."

Sighing, Josh lifted his baseball cap and ran an aggravated hand through his unruly hair. Maybe he'd go get it cut one of these days. "All right. What is it?"

"Writing a few songs for a soundtrack. That's all." Darryl leaned back in his chair and clasped his hands over his large belly, acting as though it was the easiest thing in the world.

"That's not all. I'd have to promote the songs, and in doing so, promote the movie."

"Well, of course." Good lord, the man was aggravating.

"What's the movie? Some teen drama?" Darryl let out a laugh and leaned toward Josh, hands planted on his desk.

"You know it is. The vast majority of your fans are teens. But I've read the script already, and honestly, it’s not that bad. The producer knows your sound, knows how great at ballads you are and they want you on this thing. I made no promises other than to talk to you about it, but I think it'd be a good move."

Of course he thought it was a good move. If Josh signed on for this it would probably make Darryl some damn good money. Staring at his manager, Josh made up his mind.

"All right, I'll read the script. But if I don't feel any inspiration what-so-ever, I'm not doing it."

"That's all I ask." Darryl handed over the script and Josh wasted no time in getting the hell out of there. He stopped at a small cafe on the way back to his apartment so he could grab something to eat and decided to start reading the script as he ate. As promised he would give it a try, but if it was awful he refused to go any further.

As soon as he sat down at a table, pretty far away from everyone else in the tiny restaurant, he opened the script to the first page and read the summary, immediately wishing he hadn't.

Why must everything lead back to Raleigh?

Never My Forever - A story about the pressures of life and how far one might go for the one they love.

Jen and Billy have been together their entire lives. They don't know anything, or anyone else until Jen is forced to move away, opening their eyes to a world of infinite possibilities. Pressures become too much, bonds become broken, and their forever may turn into their never.

"What the fuck." Josh muttered, apparently a little too loudly when he got a strange look from a waitress. Closing the script, Josh grabbed his sandwich and decided to take it to go, his appetite suddenly gone.

Once he got home, Josh threw the script on his couch with no intention of even trying to read it now, and went directly to his bar to pour himself a very strong drink. It may be early, but he didn't care. He needed something to calm him down.

Sitting in one of the chairs opposite his couch, Josh found himself staring at the script, as if it were mocking him. Gulping down the potent liquid, he stood to pour himself another. After drinking that with one swallow he poured yet another. After that was gone he allowed his eyes to wander back to the script.

How did it end? He kept wondering.

Pouring himself one more glass of vodka, Josh put the bottle away and sat down. Grabbing the chunk of papers, he leaned back on his couch, opened up to page one and began reading, becoming engrossed in the story almost instantly.

He sat there and read the script in its entirety, and once he was finished he even went back to certain parts he felt hit way too close to home and read them again. When he decided he knew it well, he closed it, set it next to him on the couch, and then he just sat there, thinking. Thinking about the tragic story about this Jen and Billy, about how close it had been to his and Raleigh's story. He thought about all those emotions resurfacing and feeling them right along with the characters. Above all else, he thought about the ending to their story. Would theirs be the same? Would it be different? Would he be able to deal with it if he and Raleigh never got their forever? He wasn't so sure, but what he did know what that he wasn't going to sit back and let her marry Cooper unless he knew he did everything
he could to win her back.

Grabbing his cell phone, Josh dialed his manager’s number and waited for him to answer. “Yo, Darryl, its JC…Yeah about the project, I’ll do it but I have one condition…”