"What?" She said, still startled and disoriented.

Dan let out a chuckle as he removed his hand from her shoulder. "We have to go."

Raleigh looked at him in confusion for a moment before it finally clicked in her brain. They had a dinner to go to. "Oh!" She jumped up off the bench and went inside to find her shoes and slip them on, buckling the straps around her ankles. After grabbing her bag, she brushed the hair out of her face and smiled sheepishly at Dan, awaiting her patiently by the doorway.

"You ready now?"

"I think so." Raleigh gave him a smile before passing him through the doorway. "Oh! Where's Bobbie?"

"Right here." Raleigh turned her head just in time to see Bobbie bounce off the last step.

"Mom and Dad are meeting us there right?"

"Yep."

"All right. Let's go."

Once they were all seated in Bobbie's red 2004 Aston Martin Vanquish, Raleigh comfortably in the backseat, Bobbie and Dan began a discussion about some sport or another, Raleigh couldn't be sure. As she watched the trees pass her by, Raleigh tried to clear her mind. She tried to think of anything other than what had had her in such a trance earlier. How long had Dan been trying to get her attention anyway?

She knew Dan. She knew as soon as he had the chance he was going to ask her what'd had her so deep in thought, and what would she tell him? The truth? Not a chance. She didn't want to lie to him outright, but she didn't want to see the look in his eyes again if she told him what had been the object of her focus. That look that defied the calmness on his face.

How could she possibly admit to thinking about Josh after spending the afternoon helping Carly make sure her wedding gown was perfect? What would he think?

She hadn't wanted to think about him. He'd been the farthest thing from her mind. But when she was helping Carly into the beautiful gown, a smile had turned up her lips as she began daydreaming about the day when the roles would be reversed. When she would be the one picking up her gown and her friends would be helping her into it. When she would be feeling the butterflies of excitement fluttering around in her stomach. When she would finally walk down that aisle to say "I do" to the man she loved.

The only problem with her little fantasy had been when she'd tried to imagine how her soon-to-be-husband would be looking at her, waiting at the alter. It hadn't been Dan's breathtaking smile she'd seen. It was Josh's.

She'd tried to explain it away as best as she could, because not even she knew the real reason why his face had been the one she'd seen. All she could come up with was the fact that she and Josh had a lot of history together and he was suddenly back in her life, for the time being, after nearly five years in complete silence. There was no reason for her to worry over something so trivial - was there?

Shaking away the dangerous thoughts, Raleigh's eyes focused back on the present. She realized they were already in the heart of Memphis and felt her teeth gnawing on her bottom lip. She made herself stop.

They would be at the restaurant in less than five minutes so she had to calm herself down. Josh was back in her life for less than eight hours and already she was a nervous wreck.

What the hell was wrong with her?

Finally, they pulled up in front of the restaurant and they all got out of the car. Dan and Raleigh waited patiently for Bobbie as he told the valet exactly what would happen to him if anything happened to his brand new baby. After stifling her laugh for the third time, Bobbie joined them and they walked in to find their party.

***

He couldn't help it. He hadn't meant to ignore Joey as he continued to speak to him about Carly's cousin from Delaware, but as soon as Raleigh had walked into the restaurant, of course followed by her other half and fiancé, Josh's eyes immediately sought her out. She was like this huge magnet and his eyes just random pieces of scrap metal, drawn to her every time she entered the same room.

He knew seeing her in person again - because lets face it, who could possibly miss her on TV? - would be hard, but he truly had underestimated exactly how difficult it would be on him. Five years ago she'd ripped out his heart and never looked back. And he'd moved on with a career he'd never thought he'd enjoy so much and a life he didn't enjoy at all. But when he'd unexpectedly seen her at the airport when he'd landed, Josh certainly had not been ready for that. She'd looked all rumpled from her flights and as though she hadn't slept at all that night. And yet, somehow, she was still as gorgeous as he remembered her being.

The years have treated her well.

Now, she looked well-rested and even more beautiful in her knee-length black dress, her long hair flowing around her face and over her shoulders in soft curls. The light amount of make-up she wore on her face made her look almost natural, with her smoky-eye shadow accentuating her lilac eyes.

He knew he'd missed her being in his life, you'd have to be dead not to, but he really hadn't known just how much until he saw her smile again, heard her loud laugh again.

Good lord he was a glutton for punishment when it came to Raleigh Jean Coons. It had been five years of nearly complete silence, would he never be over her?

Feeling a nudge in his side, Josh broke out of his thoughts and looked at Joey.

"What?"

"Dude, you better put your tongue back in your mouth before Dan sees you looking at his woman like that. We all know she looks amazing, but you don't have to let it show like that."

Joey laughed at the blank look on Josh's face. Had he really been staring at her like a hormonal teenager? Certainly his tongue hadn't been hanging out, he would have known that. But still, he couldn't hide the fact that whenever Raleigh was back into his life, no matter how short a time, he always felt himself slipping back into the person he used to be.

But he also couldn't hide the fact that the person he used to be, the man he was when he still had Raleigh, was so much better than the empty shell he was today. What he wouldn't give to have that life again.

He had to stop dwelling on the past. Just let it go, man, he kept telling himself. One of these days it might actually work. Really, what was the point of living in a past that could never be the future? Sure, it was good for a momentary laugh or spot of happiness, but the pain that followed was usually so strong he wished he hadn't allowed himself the moment of gluttonous pleasure in relishing old memories. Why did he have to be stuck on her still? Why couldn't he just meet someone new who would be it for him? Would he ever find the woman who would make him feel whole again?

He knew the answer to be no. He would never find her, because he wasn't looking for her. He met a new woman every night, occasionally more than one if he were being honest, and yet it was never satisfying enough. Okay, well, it was satisfying, but only momentarily. He never stayed the night with any of the random no-names, never made an empty promise to call them, never even attempted to pretend any interest other than a few hours of forgotten pain. After a while they stopped asking him for more than what he was willing to give.

Had he turned into a cold-hearted bastard who only used women for sex? No, he couldn't say that was him, but he couldn't find it in himself to deny it either. What would his mother say? What would Raleigh say?

Damn it. Why must every thought go back to her? Why couldn't those women be enough? Why couldn't he forget about her? Would he ever be able to stop hoping she would leave Dan - he forced himself to swallow down the bitterness that came with thinking the name - and return to him? Why must she forever remain the one who could make him feel?

Life was utterly unfair.

Well, for some of us, anyway. He thought icily to himself.

Josh watched through narrowed eyes as she made her way around the table, hugging, smiling, laughing with everyone she hadn't seen in so long. She was only a few feet away from him now, speaking animatedly with Lynn, Justin's mother. He could hear every word she said as she told her about the last tour she just finished and how happy she was to finally be home. When Lynn asked her how her fiancé was, he tuned out the conversation and swallowed back the bile that rose in his throat. Really, he didn't have anything against the guy. It wasn't as though he'd tried to steal Raleigh away from him five years ago, truth be told she hadn't been his to steal from. He knew he sounded incredibly bitter, but that wasn't it at all.

He just missed Raleigh and the person she made him. How selfish could I be? He thought bitterly to himself. When had it become all about him?

"Raleigh Jean. Your beauty never ceases to amaze me."

"Joseph Anthony. Your inability to not flirt astounds me." The voices that seemed to be right beside him made Josh escape from his thoughts and become aware of what was happening around him. Raleigh was smiling and hugging Joey, telling him how much she'd missed him. Finally, she turned to look at him, slightly reluctantly Josh noticed. She forced a smile and said a faint hello. Good Lord, would the awkwardness of their past never end?

Probably not. All Josh could think was that if there was some sense of awkwardness between them, perhaps the flame was not entirely out.

"Well, I should get back to my seat. Dinner will be served soon." Raleigh turned curtly and hastily walked back to her seat between the bride and her fiancé.

The three-course dinner had gone faster than Josh had expected. He found himself laughing and genuinely having a great time with the friends he hadn't seen in a long time. When everyone was saying their goodbyes, Josh found himself not wanting the night to end. He was having far too much fun and he just didn't want to go back to his mother's house yet. Ever since he'd gotten there his sister hounded him relentlessly. She somehow thought she knew everything he'd been up to in the past few years so she felt as though she were in the right preaching to him. As far as he was concerned, if God wanted him to be like everyone else, He wouldn't have made him so different.

No, he definitely wasn't ready to go home yet. Luckily, Carly gave him the open he'd been looking for.

"This has been fun, do we really have to say good night?" Carly was whining at Raleigh.

"Carly, they've been up all day traveling. They're probably exhausted with some major jet-lag. We'll get together tomorrow for a barbecue or something."

"Why don't we do both?" Josh had made his way over to the group as they exited the restaurant. When a few questioning eyes pointed on him, he shrugged and explained. "We could go out, have a few drinks or something. Personally, I'm not in a hurry to go back to my parents' house either."

"We could go to the Plush Club." Carly said eagerly. Her eyes were lit up like a kid in a candy store. "Please? Come on, Ray? Dan?"

Dan and Raleigh looked at each other before shrugging. "Sure. I haven't been to Plush in years. I may be tired but I could use some more fun with friends."

Carly let out a delighted little squeal before grabbing Justin's hand and pulling him toward their family to say goodbye for the night. Josh couldn't help but to allow his eyes to take another sweep over Raleigh as she watched on with a grin plastered on her face.

"I've never seen her so happy." She mused aloud before, surprisingly, she turned to Josh. "You came with them, right?"

"Yes, why?"

"Let them know we'll meet ya'll there." Josh nodded his compliance before turning and walking towards Justin and Carly.

"So where is this Club Plush?" Dan asked, lazily draping an arm over her shoulders.

"Plush Club." She corrected him. "It's just a few blocks away. If it's still anything like it used to be you'll love it. There's two floors, each complete with it's own bar, lounge area, and dancing platforms and stage."

"And how many times have you snuck in this place?"

"A few." She shrugged nonchalantly. "I think it was sometime around the eleventh time we snuck in that the owner stopped kicking us out."

Dan couldn't help but to let out a laugh as he got into Bobbie's Aston Martin that the valet had finally brought back. "Somehow I don't doubt that. Have you always been able to get your way so easily?"

"No." Now it was Bobbie's turn to laugh.

"Yeah. The only person you couldn't get your way with was Mom. And even her grounding you couldn't stop you. It ended up just making you that much more determined to do whatever the hell you pleased. Especially with sneaking out to meet up with Josh."

"I can't help that telling me ‘no' just made me want to defy her that much more. And you know very well I was not the only one who liked to get under her skin, Robert James."

"No, we all did. But you're the only one who did it every chance you got." Raleigh just gave a shrug as she glanced out the window just in time to see her brother drive right by the club.

"Uh, Bobbie, you just passed it."

"Thank you very much for that obvious observation, Sister."

"Sarcasm not appreciated, Brother." She rolled her eyes. "Where are you going?"

"Right here." He told her as he pulled into a nearly empty parking lot.

"And just what was wrong with the club's parking lot?"

"If you noticed, Ray, which obviously you did not because you are incredibly unobservant, the ‘parking lot full' sign was out."

"Oh." Was all Raleigh said as she tried to get out of the tiny car as lady-like as possible in her dress. They walked down to the club and arrived at the door just as Justin, Carly and Josh drove past. They decided to wait for them to park and meet them at the door before going in.

"Are you guys ready to party?" Carly asked as she ran up to them, grabbed Raleigh's hand and drug to her to the security guard at the entrance. The group made their way up to the bar on the second floor, and while waiting for their first round of drinks Cory Lee's "Naughty Song" begun playing. Raleigh immediately grabbed Dan's hand and pulled him out onto the dance floor.

Josh watched from the bar, drinking a beer, as Carly danced with Justin, Raleigh grinded with Dan, and Bobbie basically dry-humped some random blond over in the corner. Josh fought a smile as he shook his head. That boy would never change.

"Well hey there handsome." Hearing the seductive voice in his ear, Josh turned his head and smiled at the tall redhead. He allowed his eyes to roam over her curvy body, loving the amount of leg showing and the high stilettos.

"Hey to you."

"I'm Aurora." Was that her real name? Josh would bet his entire bank account it wasn't - unless her mother had a fixation with Disney princesses - but he couldn't say he really gave a damn. It's not like he'd remember it anyway.

"I'm..."

"Dancing with me." Aurora grabbed his hand and pulled him out to the dance floor just as Buckcherry's Crazy Bitch began to play. Josh couldn't help but to think of how fitting the song was.

When it came to an end Josh noticed his friends making their way to a table near the back of the club so he politely removed himself from Aurora's grasp.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I came here with friends I haven't scene in a long time. It's about time I get back to them. Thanks for the dance." With that, Josh abruptly turned and headed to the back of the club to join the group once again. As he sat down he didn't miss the change in Raleigh's eyes. It passed over so quickly he wasn't sure what it had been to show. He swallowed down the hope that that emotion had been jealousy.

He couldn't help to feel a bit smug by the first words she spoke to him.
"So, JC. I don't think Erin would take kindly to another woman being all
over her man."

"Well, Erin will get over it. She learned a long time ago she'll never be the only woman in my life just as I don't expect to be the only man in hers."

Reaching for her glass, Raleigh took a large gulp of the cool liquid, allowing it to wash away her annoyance. He had changed so much since she last saw him. How could he possibly justify sleeping with a different woman every night? She forced herself to ignore the tiny voice in the back of her mind screaming hypocrite. If she allowed herself to think about it, she'd be forced to admit that she had nearly done the same once upon a time.

Draining the rest of her rum and coke, Raleigh waved their waitress over and ordered another. After finishing off that one, she got up and pulled Dan back onto the dance floor.

"That girl will never change." Josh muttered to himself as he watched Raleigh dance in sensual circles with Dan.

"And neither will you." He heard Carly mutter under her breath.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you remain completely oblivious to the rules."

"And what rules might those be, Bobbie?" Bobbie shook his head trying not to laugh.

"The rules of attraction." Justin offered.

"Oh God, here we go."

"Look Josh, its blatantly obvious you want Raleigh, and even more obvious you can't have her. You guys haven't been together in six years, when are you going to get over her and move on? She obviously has."

"Okay, I'm not gonna lie 'cause it'd be a wasted effort, but yes, I am still attracted to her. I mean, look at her. I'd have to be dead not to. But I do know she's with Dan and she's marrying him and she's completely
happy. Happier than she's been in a long time. I wouldn't purposely sabotage that." He didn't miss the look exchange between Carly and Justin. "Oh come on, give me a little credit. As everyone seems so keen on reminding me, it has been five years. She's over it, I'm over it. No use dwelling on the past." Josh finished off his beer and stood to get another, offering to get more for his friends.

As he stood at the bar waiting for the drinks, he had to swallow the laugh that bubbled to his lips. He had just blatantly lied to his oldest friends. People who were closer and dearer to him than his own family. While he did not intend to sabotage Raleigh's engagement, he definitely was not "over it." Some people go throughout their entire lifetime without ever finding that one person who is their other half. Who absolutely completes them. Unfortunately, Josh did find that person. And he'd had to let her go.

He tried, he really tried to forget about the time they spent together. The time they first danced, when they first kissed, their very first 'I love you's'. He even tried to forget about the first time they'd ever made love. But his attempts were futile. How could you possibly forget someone who was famous and so ingrained into your life? Everywhere he turned he'd see a picture of her, hear her name, hear one of her songs on the radio.

How incredibly foolish he'd been, trying to forget someone like Raleigh.

Finally, he'd come to terms with the fact that she was always going to be a part of him. He'd slowly begun to move on, or at least, that's what he liked to call it. His sister would rather say he lived in denial.

"Here ya go, Sugar." The bartender, Keri, set down the last drink order in front him. Josh flashed her a grin and paid her, being sure to leave her a large tip.

When he finally got back to the table he noticed that Bobbie was up dancing with a different girl. This one a petite redhead. "Doesn't he have a girlfriend?"

"He did. Dumped her a few weeks ago. Caught her cheating on him with her ex-boyfriend."

Josh chuckled to himself. Irony came in many forms. He'd never been a big fan of irony.

As Dan and Raleigh made their way back to the table to join them, Justin flagged down their waitress and ordered them both a drink. Dan, the same beer he'd been drinking, but Carly noticed how he'd ordered Raleigh a completely different drink. She hadn't seen Raleigh drink a Slow Comfortable Screw since they were teenagers. She couldn't remember exactly when or why she stopped, but it had always been her favorite. So she couldn't help but wonder why exactly Justin was ordering one for her now.

When the waitress set the drink down in front of her, Raleigh raised an eyebrow in question. "A slow comfortable screw? God, I haven't had one of these since..." She briefly looked at Justin before looking back to the drink. "Well, I just haven't had one in a long time."

"That's an interesting name. Can't say I've heard of that one before. Let me try it."

"Are you sure? You're not one to hold liquor very well and this is very strong."

"Oh please. Like one sip's gonna hurt." He picked up the glass and took a tentative sip before coughing. "Holy shit."

"I told you." Raleigh smirked at him before taking a large gulp of the potent liquid. "Ugh, this is so good. Why the hell did I ever stop drinking these?" Carly again didn't miss the brief eye contact made between her fiancé and best friend. What the hell was that about?

While they were all on their third or fourth drinks, just starting to get a buzz, Raleigh was ordering her third SCS, making that her eight drink. She was well passed buzzing and rushing up to inebriation.

"Ray, honey maybe you should slow down."

"You know, after this week I don't know when I'll be able to do this with you all again. So I am making the best out of now." Just then, Dirrty by Christina Aguilera blasted through the speakers so Raleigh jumped up and pulled Carly to the dance floor.

As they watched the girls dance together, Dan asked, "When's the last time she's had one of these drinks you got her, Justin?"

"When she was seventeen. A couple weeks after Josh here broke up with her."

"Dude, how do you remember that? That's like giving an exact time that she drank it."

"Do you want that? Cause I could probably give it to you. Its not exactly a night I can forget." He mumbled the last part and Josh had to strain to hear him over the music.

"What do you mean, you can't forget?"

"Know what? We're supposed to be out having a good time. Let's not spoil that, huh?" Justin immediately stood and went to join his fiancé and Raleigh out on the floor. Dan followed and left Josh sitting at the table alone with his thoughts.

What the hell did Justin mean exactly by that last comment? He knew she'd been a mess after he broke up with her, but how bad could she have really been? Certainly not as bad as he was. But then again, he did find out when he'd gone back for the summer that she'd hidden an aborted pregnancy from him. That's not something he was ever going to be likely to forget. He could still remember everything about that night. How it had gone from amazing to horribly wrong and hateful in just a few short minutes.

"He's gonna hear about the abortion eventually. It's just better if he hears it from your mouth and not somebody else's."

"You think I don't know that? God, I was pregnant with his fuckin' child for Christ's sake! Why the hell should I want to tell him I killed it? How would I even go about telling him something like that? It'll kill him." Raleigh had yelled when Carly wouldn't drop the subject. He never thought he'd ever heard something more hurtful than that throughout the remainder of his life.

"Don't worry about it. You just did."

Raleigh and Carly looked next to them and saw a ghostly white Josh standing there with tears in his eyes. Raleigh never felt worse about herself as she did at that one moment. Now she saw what it was like to put a knife to someone's back.

"Josh." She started but he began to back up and cut her off.

"Don't! Just...Don't." James chose that exact moment to intervene.

"What's going on?" He asked, then he saw the tears in Josh's eyes and the frightened look on Raleigh's face. Turning to Carly, he asked, "What, did he just find out?"

"Shut up, James. You're not helping." Carly snapped at him.

"I'm not trying to. If Josh can't accept the fact that his sweetheart is a lying slut that‘s his problem."

"Don't you talk about her like that." Josh snapped at James. All of his anger was beginning to channel and if James didn't shut his mouth anytime soon, he'd be the one it would be taken out on.

"Or what? You'll beat me up? I'm so scared." His eyes got wide and he pretended to quiver with fear.

"James, shut the hell up!" Raleigh said, yelling at him. She saw out of the corner of her eye that Josh was getting closer so she stepped between them. "Don't touch him, Josh. It's not worth it."

"Raleigh, you know I'd never hit a girl, but I swear to God that if you don't get out of my way I will move you myself."

"Only because sorry sacks of shit feel the need to hurt women to get what they want." James egged him on, and that was all it took for Josh to make good on his promise and pick Raleigh up and move her to the side before charging forward and punching James square in the eye. James fell to the ground into the fetal position and Josh got in a couple good kicks before the guys were able to pull him back.

Josh couldn't remember hitting anyone a day in his life before that moment. He'd been so completely enraged by Raleigh that James saying those awful things just made him lose his head. And not once did he ever regret it. The only thing he did regret was breaking up with her after Christmas.

He was so afraid nothing would ever be the same. Maybe they couldn't go back to what they were, but he wouldn't let himself believe they couldn't move on as something new and even better.

He wasn't going to give up Raleigh so easily. He may have lost her once to Daniel Cooper already, but there was no way he knew her like Josh did. They had history and nothing could ever outweigh the love they shared.