January

"It's like you can't be alone but maybe that's what you need right now.  Some time to just be alone--re-evaluate a few things in your life, figure out what it is you really want."  

Twenty-eight year old Justin Timberlake let himself into his Los Angeles, California house, the words of advice he'd just gotten from JC's girlfriend, Rachel, still echoing in his head.  He had asked for her opinion on his crumbling relationship with Jessica and she'd given it. "Figure out what it is you really want."  But what did he really want?  His thoughts were interrupted as his two dogs, Buckley and Brennan, hurried towards him.

"Hey guys." He said, giving each of the boxers a scratch behind the ears as they turned and followed him as he walked into the kitchen.  Grabbing a beer from the fridge Justin opened the French doors that led out to the balcony.  Sitting down on the green cushion of the wrought iron loveseat that was part of the patio set, Justin took a healthy swallow of the alcohol then sighed as he lay his head back and propped his feet up on the ottoman in front of him.  Buckley jumped up onto the chair next to him while Brennan got up on the loveseat beside him and laid her head in his lap.  Staring up at the night sky he put his hand on the dog's head and let his thoughts wander wherever they wanted to. 

Rachel had been right.  Maybe it was time to take a break and just be alone.  For as long as he could remember he'd been constantly surrounded by other people.  If it wasn't his cast-mates on MMC then it had been the guys in N SYNC and when he wasn't with JC, Joey, Lance and Chris he'd been with whoever his girlfriend had been at the time.  On top of all that there was the constant security following him around and the fans that were everywhere.  Justin took another swig of his beer.

His rise to the top had been almost instantaneous and he was the first to admit that he'd been caught up in the fame and everything that had gone along with it.  His personal relationships had always been highly publicized because of that fame and the fame of his partner, putting that much more stress on them, and when they ended it somehow always made headlines--though why people were so intensely interested in his love life was something he still didn't understand. 

He was just a quiet kid from Memphis.  What was so damn special about him?  Yes, God had blessed him by giving him the musical talent he possessed--affording him the opportunity and ability to take care of his family--but underneath all the fame and publicity he was the same quiet kid that had grown up in Tennessee and he wanted what everyone wanted: to be happy.  But more specifically, to find someone who understood and accepted him; someone who took the time and energy to get to know him because they wanted to--free of family obligations or the fact that they'd grown up together. 

He had thought--finally--that he'd found that in Jessica.  Their relationship had started off slow and built gradually over the almost two years they were together and he'd been happy but somewhere along the way they'd stopped moving forward together and had begun going their separate ways. 

"When you're in a relationship you're either going to get stronger and move forward together or you're going to stagnate and begin moving apart." 

Again Rachel's words from earlier this evening came to mind and like earlier, the sick feeling returned to the pit of his stomach when he realized that she'd just described his relationship with Jessica without even knowing it.  He took another swig.  He knew the end was coming and he wondered if on some level Jess knew it too.  Maybe that was why they'd been fighting so much lately.  Perhaps they were just fighting against the truth that neither one of them was ready to face. 

"Maybe it's time to stop fighting and just let it go." He said, thinking aloud.  Brennan lifted her head and looked at him.  Justin turned and looked at the dog.  "What do you think, Bren?" He asked as he sat forward and put the beer bottle down on the ground.  The dog looked at him with her dark brown eyes as he sat back then let out a soft whimper and perked her ears up as her short tail wagged once.  Justin chuckled.  "Ah, who am I kidding?  You're the only girl for me, Bren." He put his hands on the dog's face and leaned forward, touching his nose to hers.  "You're the only girl I need."

Standing, Justin stretched and made his way into the house.  After turning out the lights and setting the alarm he walked upstairs and crawled into bed.

~~~~~~

Bright sunlight coming through the window the next morning hit Justin in the eyes and he groaned.  Putting his arm over his eyes he rolled over--his face meeting a warm, furry body.  He groaned again.  "Mmmm..." Justin put his arm over one of his dogs as he lifted his head to see who it was he was cuddling with.  "Buck..." The boxer lifted his head and looked at him, then with a yawn, laid his head back down.  "What time is it?" He wondered aloud as he looked at his watch.  10:00.  He rubbed his eyes as he sat up.  Both dogs perked up and watched as he shuffled to the bathroom. 

Leaning up against the counter he hung his head and tried to wake up.  Raising his head he looked at his reflection for a moment, grimacing when he saw his haggard appearance.  If the world could see me now.  He thought with a wry grin as he took off his T-shirt and tossed it on the ground.  With a heavy sigh Justin turned on the shower and stepped beneath the spray.  Putting his hand on the tile he leaned over and let the water wash over his body. 

He watched as the water made its way down the drain and wished he could wash away his troubles as easily.  He hated this.  He hated ending a relationship, no matter the reason or who was the one at fault.  It always hurt to look into the other person's eyes and know you were hurting them, even if you both knew it was for the best.  "Damn it!" He swore as he hit the palm of his hand against the wet tile.  "Damn it."  Shutting off the water he grabbed his towel and, after drying off for the most part, wrapped it around his waist. 

Walking into the huge walk-in closet attached to the bathroom he stopped as the sight of Jessica's clothes hanging opposite his made his heart hurt.  He ran his fingers over the fabric of the black dress hanging closest to him.  Pulling the fabric up to his nose he inhaled the scent of her perfume that still clung to it.  You're just torturing yourself! His conscience reprimanded him and he let go of the dress.  Squaring his shoulders he turned his back to the visual reminder of what was soon going to be empty space in his house and in his life. 

I need to get out of here. He thought as he hastily donned a pair of loose fitting jeans and a black long sleeved shirt. "Come on, you lazy bums." He said as he walked back into his bedroom.  He chuckled as both dogs looked at him and yawned.  "You wanna go?"  He asked.  That got their attention and he laughed as both dogs were suddenly full of energy and eager to leave at the word "go."  Brennan barked excitedly as Justin grabbed his favorite red ball cap and searched around for a second, looking for his keys.  "Where did I..." Buckley let out a whine and he chuckled.  "I know, I know." He said.  "Ah! Found ‘em." He jingled his keys and the dogs hurried down the stairs.

Thirty minutes later, after driving out of the city limits of Los Angeles and winding his way through countless residential neighborhoods, Justin parked his white Cadillac EXT at the curb beside a large park and got out.  Buckley and Brennan fell all over themselves in their eagerness to get out of the car.  "Easy, guys." Justin chuckled as he stepped out of their way.  "Sit!" He commanded as he pulled his pants up and closed his door.  Both boxers sat, though he knew they were eager to run.  Pulling the ball cap he was wearing lower over his eyes he took a quick surveillance of the park.  Even though they were in the middle of a seemingly quiet neighborhood, one could never be too careful.  There was always someone around who might recognize him and start a scene.

"Alright." He said, and both dogs stood, looking at him expectantly.  "Go." He waved his arm and they took off.

Justin chuckled to himself as he shoved his hands in his pockets and followed his dogs.  Buckley picked up a stick in his mouth and turned, coming back to him.  Justin smiled as he took it from him and threw it for the dog to fetch.  After playing with Buckley for a few minutes he looked around searching for Brennan, only to find her heading over to pester a girl who was sitting by herself under a nearby tree.  With a groan he turned and went to retrieve his dog.  

"Well hello!"  Justin heard the girl laugh as he neared her.  She pushed her brown hair from her eyes as Brennan stuck her nose into the book she was holding.  "Do you like The Lord of the Rings?" She asked.

"Bren!" Justin called, jogging towards them.  "Brennan, come here!  I'm sorry." He apologized to the girl as he grabbed Brennan's collar and pulled the dog back.  The boxer pulled against his hand and he struggled to keep control of her.  Buckley trotted over to them and dropped the stick at Justin's feet then sat down obediently, his tongue hanging out as his head went back and forth between the two humans.  Finally, positioning Brennan between his legs, Justin looked at the girl.  "Sorry about her." He said.  "She's usually better behaved.  That's why I didn't have her on her leash."

"It's okay." The girl smiled, raising her eyes to look at him and Justin prepared himself for the customary gasp of shock that always came when people recognized him--but it didn't come.  Instead he felt his hold on Brennan loosen slightly as the girl's hazel eyes connected with his own, her warm smile causing him to smile back in return. 

"We were just getting acquainted, weren't we?" She said.  "Did you say her name is Brennan?" She asked, her eyes dropping as her attention returned to the object of their conversation who had managed to escape Justin's hold on her and was once more making a nuisance of herself.  Buckley, not one to be left out of a good thing--stood and walked over beside his sister, begging some attention of his own.

"Yeah." Justin replied, his smile widening as he observed the way she was interacting with his dogs.

"You must be a huge fan of Bones." She said smiling up at him again.

"What?" He asked with a confused chuckle.

"The show on Fox." She said.  She looked up at him.  "One of the main characters is named Brennan."

"Oh." He said.  "No." He shook his head.  "I've never--Brennan!"  Justin scolded when the boxer licked the girl's face, causing her to laugh.  "No." He commanded.

"It's alright." The girl insisted with a laugh as Buckley sat down almost in her lap. 

"Come on." He said, once more grabbing the dog's collar and pulling her away.  "Leave her alone.  Buckley." He called.  The other dog--after picking up his stick--turned and followed him obediently.  "I'm sorry." He apologized again.  "Next time I'll keep her on a leash."

"Don't worry about it." She insisted.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked as he looked down at the dogs but they both just barked happily at him.  Justin shook his head.  After assuring himself they were far enough away from where the girl had been he let go of them then took the stick Buckley still had a hold of and threw it.  The boxers took off after it, in competition to see who could retrieve it first, and Justin allowed himself a quick glance over his shoulder back at the girl--kicking himself for being an idiot and not even getting her name--but she was gone.  The shady spot under the tree she'd been sitting under now vacant and he turned, curious on how she could have disappeared so quickly.  With a shrug he turned back around and focused on the reason he'd come here: to forget about the sure to be painful discussion he needed to have with his girlfriend when she returned next week.

~~~~~~

"You guys broke up?" JC looked at Justin in surprise a few weeks later.  Justin nodded as he focused his attention on the keyboard in front of him.  The two of them had been working the last month on a few new songs and were currently sitting in JC's home studio. 

"Really?" JC continued.  "When?"

"Last week." Justin replied.  "She moved out over the weekend."

"J..." JC looked at him in surprise.  "What about all that talk about you two being so happy?  I thought you were going to propose."

"I was." Justin answered then sighed, his shoulders drooping.  "But then I realized I would have been doing in for the wrong reason.  I was going to ask her to marry me because I thought it would fix the problems between us but..." he shook his head then scrubbed his hands over his face.  "I don't know, C." He said, looking over at the man who had been his hero when he was younger and had become his brother over the years.  "It was actually Rachel that made me realize I needed to end things so we could both move on."

"Rachel?" JC questioned.

Justin nodded.  "I hope you know how lucky you are." He commented and JC smiled.

"You'll find someone else." JC reassured him with a slap on the back.  "I'm not worried." He chuckled.  "After all, you're Justin Timberlake!  The girls have been crazy for you since you were twelve for some reason I still haven't figured out."  He rolled his eyes and smiled.  Justin chuckled.  "Come on." JC said.  "Speaking of Rachel, she's coming over after work and I want to get this finished before she gets here.  She's starting to get curious and I don't know how much longer I can keep her in the dark about all of this."

"Just our luck, you had to go fall in love with a crazy fan." Justin teased.

"Careful." JC grinned.  "That's my crazy fan you're talking about."  Justin laughed as the two of them went back to working on the song.

~~~~~

"Let's call it a night." JC said a few hours later as he stretched his arms out above his head and leaned back in his chair, looking at his watch. 

"Alright." Justin said as he stood and followed JC out of the studio and upstairs.   

"Rach?" JC called out when they heard the front door open.  "Is that you?" She turned and smiled as the guys walked into the foyer.

"Hi." Rachel smiled, putting the bags in her hand down on the floor and going up on her toes to wrap her arms around JC's neck.  Justin looked away out of courtesy until Rachel addressed him.  "Hi, Justin." She smiled and he could see the pity in her eyes.  She knew.

"Hey." He responded with a forced smile.  Rachel surprised him by putting her arms around him, giving him a hug.  He hesitated a second, his eyes going to JC who stood behind her silently asking permission, he nodded and Justin put his arms around her in return.

"I'm sorry." Rachel said, pulling back and looking up at him.  He shrugged and put his hands into his pockets as she stepped back and put her arm around JC's waist--his arm going around her shoulders.  Rachel looked up at JC with a sad smile. 

"It's like you said." Justin said.  Rachel looked back at him.  "You either grow stronger together or drift apart.  We just...drifted apart.  It was a mutual decision.  You two are lucky.  Don't let it get to the point where you're drifting."  He paused and JC pulled Rachel closer to his side--the two of them looking at each other in a way that made Justin envious though he was happy for his friend and the love JC had found with Rachel.

It's about time, too.  Justin thought, thinking of all the heartbreak JC had been through during the years they'd known each other.  The more he thought about what JC had been through and where he was now, the more it gave Justin some hope for himself.  He'd get through this rough patch just like everyone else who had ever gone through a breakup.  "Later." He said as he turned and opened the front door, leaving JC and Rachel as he headed home for another quiet night alone with his dogs.