JC yawned as he made his way down the hall. He’d woken up nearly twenty minutes ago and hadn’t been able to go back to sleep, despite his best efforts. This was the first day in the past week and a half that they didn’t have to get up as early. Since they’d finished recording the tracks for the demo yesterday, the only thing that was really left to focus on was choreography.

They weren’t going to the warehouse until noon, after they’d eaten lunch. The next day was the demo, which meant that this would be the last real rehearsal at the warehouse because tomorrow they’d do one run through onstage and that’d be it.

Knowing that there was a very real possibility that today was going to be tiring, JC had wanted to get as much sleep as possible. But here he was, awake a couple hours before he had to be. It wasn’t from having trouble sleeping though.

As much as JC had fought with Lynn on Wednesday about missing out on rehearsal, it’d been a good thing. He’d finally gotten caught up on his sleep, making him feel more rested than he had in days. That alone had made him feel better, but it’d also given him an easier time with eating since nausea wasn’t a factor anymore.

He wouldn’t have been able to get caught up on his sleep though if Lou hadn’t gone out of town. For the first time in a week, JC had been able to relax without worrying about where Lou was and what, if anything, he’d do next. But today would be the last day of that since Lou was returning tomorrow.

JC was trying not to think about that, wanting to enjoy the freedom that he had from Lou being gone and focus on the upcoming demo. The pressure was building now that it was so close. And there was no telling how rehearsal would go because it was easily apparent that the other guys felt just as nervous.

That wasn’t for at least a few hours, so JC pushed the thought to the back of his mind. He wanted to just hang out on this rare morning off. So without another thought, JC entered the kitchen.

It was empty with the exception of Chris. That didn’t really surprise JC because Justin had still been sleeping when he’d left the bedroom for once, and he’d seen that Joey and Lance were still in bed when he’d headed for the kitchen. Apparently JC wasn’t the only one that’d wanted to take advantage of it.

“I’m surprised to see you up already,” Chris said, looking over his shoulder as he grabbed a mug out of a cupboard to the left of the sink.

JC shrugged. “I just couldn’t sleep.”

“Are you OK?” Chris asked, frowning slightly.

“I’m fine,” JC said with a hint of aggravation. This wasn’t the first time that they’d asked him that since he’d gotten sick. He understood why they were concerned, but that didn’t stop it from grating on his nerves. “I’m just anxious about the demo, alright?”

“Alright.” There was a slight pause before Chris changed the subject. “You want some coffee?”

“Nah. I think I’m gonna have some tea,” JC said, glad that Chris had dropped the worry about him sleeping.

“What happened? I thought you were all about the coffee,” Chris replied.

JC grabbed the tea kettle from where it sat on the counter and ran it under the faucet, filling it up. “Tea’s better for the voice.”

“Not like you really need to worry about that since we’re not gonna be singing,” Chris muttered, pouring freshly brewed coffee into his mug.

JC set the kettle on the hot burner and sighed. “Chris.”

“I’m not trying to start something,” Chris said. “I’ve accepted it, but it still bothers me.”

“Me too,” JC admitted, turning so that his back was to the stove. He was tired of denying it every time Chris brought up them lip syncing the demo.

Chris eyed him carefully. “Really?”

“Yeah.” JC nodded, knowing that Chris wondered if he was serious since he’d fought with him about it all week. “Musicians should sound the same live as they do in the studio. They shouldn’t have music prefabricated for a live show. It’s not right.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!” Chris exclaimed, throwing up his hands.

“I know, and I’m telling you I agree.”

Chris leaned against the counter and looked over at him. “Why? You’ve spent so much time arguing with me about it, and now you’re telling me that I was right?”

“I didn’t want to get on Lou’s bad side,” JC said, turning back to the stove and adding the hot water to the teabag sitting in his mug.

“That’s not what you said before,” Chris replied, frowning.

JC sighed. “Well, I’m saying it now.”

“Why do you care so much about what Lou thinks?” Chris asked.

“If we fought with Lou about his decision, he might’ve thought we weren’t worth the effort and time,” JC explained.

“He wouldn’t have done that,” Chris said, shaking his head. “I mean, what would he have gained from that? He knows we’re talented, and we can go far.”

“Yeah, but he’s not going to want to defend all of his decisions. Talent is only part of it. He wants people who won’t fight him every step of the way,” JC said.

Chris took a sip of his coffee before setting it on the counter. “I don’t think he’s that much of an asshole. He’s gonna make decisions that we don’t agree with, but he knows what’s best.”

“But we wouldn’t have to worry about that if we leave him. I mean, once we’ve got the demo, it’d be easy to get picked up by someone else,” JC said.

“Weren’t you the one saying that he’s doing what’s necessary for our careers?” Chris asked.

“Yeah,” JC admitted. “But now that the demo’s just a day away, I’m worried that lip syncing isn’t the best thing for our careers. We’d almost be better off without him.”

Chris’s frown deepened. “Why do you want to leave Lou so bad?”

JC paused. He was pushing the idea of leaving Lou to see how the guys would react to it. If he could get them to leave Lou, then he wouldn’t have to worry about Lou touching him anymore. But JC couldn’t just come right out and say that, so he was having trouble coming up with a reason Chris would accept. The last thing he wanted to do was tip them off that something was really wrong with Lou.

“If there’s any reason that we shouldn’t be with Lou, then we need to know about it,” Chris said after a minute had passed.

JC recognized that this was the perfect opportunity if he wanted to let someone know what Lou had done to him. It was just the two of them in the kitchen, and Chris acted like he really wanted to know if something was wrong. But JC couldn’t.

All the reasons that he had before for keeping what’d happened a secret still held true. If he said something, then they could kiss their careers goodbye. Lou was providing them a huge opportunity by setting them up with this demo, and JC wasn’t going to blow it by telling the guys that he’d been raped.

“No,” JC said finally. “I just don’t know if Lou has our best interests in mind.”

“What gives you that idea? I mean, it’s not like he’s trying to sabotage us or anything,” Chris said.

JC shrugged, trying to act casual. “It’s just a feeling I get.”

“That’s crap,” Chris said.

“Well, you wanted to know. What do you want from me?” JC retorted.

Chris crossed his arms over his chest. “I want you to tell me the truth.”

“I did!” JC exclaimed. He wasn’t doing himself any good by getting worked up, so he needed to leave. Sighing softly, he said, “I think I’m gonna try to get some more sleep.”

JC left the room without another word, leaving his untouched tea sitting next to the stove. Retracing his steps from earlier, he sighed. Talking about leaving Lou had been worth a shot, but clearly hadn’t gotten him anywhere. He just had to accept that there was no getting away from Lou. At least not without telling the guys and that wasn’t something he was prepared to do. 

“That was good, guys. Let’s just run through it once more.”

JC nodded and took the starting position for Give Into Me with the other guys following suit. Once Dave was sure they were ready, he pressed play on the stereo. The music started and the five of them began the routine as their voices flowed out of the small boom box speakers.

When JC’s solo started, he stepped forward and watched the others through the large mirrors in front of him do their choreography behind him with a smile. For the first time since they’d started, he really felt good about what they were doing. And when Justin came to stand next to him a few seconds later, JC glanced over at him with a genuine smile, which Justin returned.

For going into rehearsal not knowing what to expect, it’d certainly turned out a lot better than any of them could’ve hoped. It’d started off a little shaky at first. They all knew that this would be the last real rehearsal, and they wanted perfection. It was important that they knew they were ready for tomorrow once Dave called it a night and they went back to the house.

And that’d just made them tense. Something that Dave had picked up on, especially once they’d started to go through the routines because their tension made the steps feel rigid and stiff. That was when Dave had sat them down and told them not to worry so much. He’d basically given them a pep talk saying that they knew the steps, so they needed to not think about it so much and just have fun with it.

It hadn’t been much, but it’d had a positive impact on the rest of rehearsal. Naturally, they still messed up some of the steps, especially the routines that had more than the rest. But they didn’t let it get to them. They just laughed it off because they were finally having fun with it.

JC hadn’t felt so relaxed during rehearsal in a long time, and it definitely showed. The worry and fear about the demo was still there, but it was pushed aside for the moment. He was enjoying doing choreography with his friends, and JC couldn’t help but think that this was how it should’ve been from the beginning.

Lou had been the main reason that it hadn’t been fun, and JC was determined not to let him have that kind of control again. Everything was finally clicking for them. The routines almost seemed flawless, which made them feel more confident about performing in front of a couple hundred people tomorrow night.

The rest of the song went as seamlessly as the beginning. Granted, the steps for Give Into Me were probably the easiest ones out of the four songs they’d be performing, but remembering where they all had to be onstage was a challenge. They all moved around so much that it was hard to keep straight exactly where they were supposed to be at a certain part of the song. But it seemed they had it down now. Whether or not that stuck still remained to be seen.

“Alright, that was great. We’ll take a fifteen minute break and pick it up with Tell Me,” Dave said.

They all grinned and walked over to where all of their stuff was sitting up against the back wall. JC bent down and grabbed his bottle of water, taking a couple large swallows.

“You know, I don’t even feel that tired,” Joey said, throwing his water bottle up into the air and catching it as it came back down.

“Well, it is only five o’clock,” Lance replied, glancing down at his watch.

Joey rolled his eyes even as he smiled. “Ha ha. Very funny. You know what I mean.”

“It is kind of weird,” Chris said. “I’m normally dragging by now and we even got started a couple hours early today.”

“That’s just because you’re old and don’t have the stamina for it,” Justin shot back, smirking at the indignant look on Chris’s face.

“Oh yeah?” Chris challenged and tackled Justin. He immediately went for Justin’s sides and began to tickle him mercilessly.

“Stop!” Justin begged even as he giggled. He tried to reach out and wrap his hand around JC’s arm. “JC, help me!”

JC shook his head, grinning as he scooted away from Justin. “No way. You brought it on yourself.”

It was when Justin was panting from laughing so hard that Chris finally stopped, looking triumphant. “Jerk,” Justin managed as he sat up and tried to get his breathing back under control.

The four of them smiled at each other and a comfortable silence fell over them. Joey finally sat down, but continued to twirl his bottle of water. It was nice to just sit there and enjoy this moment. JC realized that by obsessing so much over Lou, he’d missed stuff like this.

“Alligator,” Justin blurted.

JC glanced to his left where Justin was sitting and smiled. “Baboon.”

“Crocodile,” Joey said.

“Joey,” Justin whined. “I already said alligator.”

“Yeah, so? They’re two different things,” Joey said.

“Nu uh. They’re like the same thing with different names,” Justin protested.

Joey shook his head. “Alligators and crocodiles are not the same.” He looked over at Lance. “C’mon, Lance. Back me up over here.”

“I don’t know what the difference is,” Lance said.

“But you acknowledge that there is one,” Joey replied. “And that’s good enough for me.”

Justin leaned forward slightly. “Not me. You need to come up with another animal.”

“If I should have to come up with another one, then so should you,” Joey said.

Justin’s grin grew. “Sorry, that’s not how the game works.”

“Just say another animal so Lance and I can go,” Chris told Joey, who sighed. It was so much easier to give into Justin than it was to fight him on something, especially when it was something so stupid. JC had learned that shortly after Justin had joined the cast of the Mickey Mouse Club.

“Cat.”

“Dog,” Lance said before Chris could.

“Damn it!” Chris cursed and glared playfully at him. “You stole my turn.”

“That’s not very creative,” Justin complained.

“You never said it had to be,” Lance said.

“Come up with something else,” Justin insisted.

Lance stared blankly with a look of concentration on his face before he suddenly refocused on Justin. “Dingo.”

Chris mumbled something about kids trying to upstage him, but then gave his answer. The game continued with them throwing out answers whenever it was their turn. It moved pretty quickly, despite the fact that they’d exchange banter in between the different letters.

“Jackal,” Joey said.

Chris raised an eyebrow. “You tapping into the smarts there?”

“I’m smart,” Joey defended, and Chris just smirked.

“Kangaroo,” Lance said.

Chris’s smirk grew. “Lou.”

“Oh, diss!” Justin laughed.

“That was a little inappropriate, don’t you think?” JC asked, staring at Chris in disbelief. He couldn’t believe that Lou randomly popped up in the middle of a game they were playing. It was almost like JC couldn’t escape him.

Chris just shrugged, trying to look innocent. “I couldn’t come up with anything else.”

“You could’ve said llama or lion,” Lance provided.

“Yeah, Chris. Sex animals don’t count,” Joey said, sarcastically.

“Ugh!” Justin cried out in disgust. “Joey!”

“Yeah,” Chris agreed. “I mean, can you see him having sex? I don’t even know who’d want to have sex with him.”

“He’d probably have to coerce some poor girl. Or spend some quality time with his hand,” Joey said with a laugh.

JC stared at his friends, unable to believe that they were still talking about Lou. And in such an inappropriate way. This wasn’t something he wanted to hear. It was bad enough that he was haunted by Lou raping him, he didn’t need to hear them talk about Lou like that. He’d expected to avoid talking about Lou when he was with his friends, especially since it always seemed to occupy his thoughts.

The thing that made it even worse was that if they knew what he’d gone through, they wouldn’t be talking about Lou in such a sexual way. It made JC sick to listen to them because it almost seemed to make light of the terrible things he’d gone through. This conversation was getting to be too much for him.

JC’s eyes unfocused and he felt like he was back in his bedroom being assaulted by Lou. He knew he was still sitting on the floor of the warehouse, but his mind took him back to that dreadful afternoon. A shiver wracked his body as he heard Lou’s voice whispering in his ear.

“You’re so beautiful.”

Pain shot through his shoulder, adding to the nausea he was beginning to feel. JC closed his eyes, willing the memory to go away. But if anything, it got stronger. He remembered feeling trapped under Lou’s weight and struggling to get away. The lustful way Lou looked at him. The painful way that he slammed into JC. Feeling his hands all over his body.

JC’s stomach rolled, and his eyes flew open. The feeling of claustrophobia closed in on him. He needed to get out. If he didn’t get out and get some air, he’d end up vomiting. And that was the last thing he needed right now.

Abruptly, JC got to his feet and hurried out the door. As soon as his feet hit the parking lot asphalt, he took in a slow breath, trying to calm his churning stomach. He tried to think about something else. Something other than Lou and what he’d done to him.

“JC?” Footsteps came closer, and JC turned to see Justin. “Are you OK?”

“I’m fine,” JC mumbled, rubbing a hand over his face. He hated that he had them so worried that he couldn’t leave without having one of them follow him.

“Why’d you leave?” Justin asked.

JC sighed, looking down at the black asphalt. He hated having to lie, but he had no other choice. It was the only way to get them off his back and give him some space.

“I just needed some air,” JC said. “It’s hot in there.”

“You’re not getting sick again, are you?” Justin asked, his voice filled with concern. Something that sent JC’s blood boiling. He’d already said he was fine. Why couldn’t Justin just leave it at that?

“I’m fine!” JC snapped, finally turning to meet Justin’s worried gaze. “I just need a minute, OK? Go back inside and leave me alone!”

Justin’s eyes widened slightly as he took a step back. The shock quickly faded and was replaced with hurt, but Justin did what JC wanted. He left without another word.

Once he was gone, JC sighed heavily and lowered his head. He hadn’t wanted to yell at Justin like that, but he couldn’t take the constant concern they put on him anymore. They seemed incapable of accepting that he was fine. Something that made it hard for him to keep what Lou’d done a secret.

But maybe it was time to finally tell someone. JC had been able to handle keeping it from everyone until he’d gotten sick. Since then tension had just been building between him and the guys, and it’d become too much for him. If they knew what Lou’d done to him, they wouldn’t be getting on his case like they had been. They’d also make sure Lou couldn’t do anything else, and that’s what JC really wanted.

The demo was only a little over twenty-four hours away, and JC wasn’t going to say anything until it was over. If he told them before, they’d surely cancel it. He wasn’t about to let them do that because they’d worked too hard to not go through with it. Waiting one more day wouldn’t kill him, especially considering how long he’d kept it a secret already.

The only way to fix it now was to go back inside and act like getting some air was all he’d needed. That he hadn’t snapped at his best friend for another reason. Knowing that their break was probably about up, JC took one more deep breath and headed for the door, pushing all thoughts of Lou out of his mind. The only thing he needed to focus on right now was getting through the rest of rehearsal.

JC’s eyes shot open and he flew into a sitting position, his chest heaving. He wildly looked around the room, caught up in the remnants of the nightmare he’d been having. As his heart rate started to slowly calm, he realized that Lou wasn’t there. It’d just been a nightmare.

Running a hand tiredly over his face, JC sighed. That wasn’t the first nightmare he’d had since it’d happened, but it hadn’t been this bad before. His other nightmares had been reliving parts of the rape, but this one had been the entire thing. It’d been more intense than ever before. At times it’d felt like it was actually happening.

JC glanced over at Justin and Chris to make sure they were still asleep. He remembered fighting against Lou in the dream, and he had no idea of knowing if he’d actual been vocal with his protests. But obviously he hadn’t, which was a relief. They didn’t need to wake up to him screaming and crying like he’d been in his dream.

Slowly, JC took a calming breath and lied back down. If the quietness that settled over the house was any indicator, it was late. He needed to go back to sleep. Tomorrow was an important day, and he needed to be well rested for the demo.

With that thought in mind, JC shifted slightly and closed his eyes. He tried to clear his mind of the nightmare he’d just had so he could go back to sleep. But then he thought he heard a creak.

Immediately, JC’s eyes flew open and he turned to look at the open doorway. There was no one there. Not that JC really expected anyone to be. After all, it was late, and Lou wouldn’t even be back in town for at least another five hours. But that didn’t stop him from worrying about it.

Every time Lou had done something to him, it’d been in that room. It’d started off with Lou groping him and then had escalated to actual rape. That made it hard for JC to sleep there because Lou had always come in while he was in bed. While he was vulnerable. And it didn’t seem like there was any indication that it would stop. If anything, it’d get worse.

JC wasn’t sure what could really be worse than rape, but he didn’t exactly want to find out either. He’d already been through enough. If something else happened, he didn’t know if he could take it anymore. The scary thing was that there was a very real possibility that it could happen too.

With Lou coming back, JC wasn’t sure what to expect. He was sure that Lou wouldn’t stop coming to him and doing such horrible things to him, but part of him hoped that it’d be over. That Lou would just leave him alone.

It was foolish to think that, especially since Lou had been gone a couple of days. Lou probably looked forward to seeing JC again since he’d enjoyed it so much last time. The thought of what could happen brought back the nausea that JC had felt earlier, and he bit his lip as he turned on his side, facing the door.

JC berated himself for thinking about that. He needed to stop and push it away if he was going to get any more sleep. But he couldn’t. JC was terrified of what was going to happen when he saw Lou again tomorrow, especially if he found out that he’d been sick. Hearing what kind of affect he had on JC would probably give Lou some kind of pleasure.

The thought caused JC’s heart to race, despite his best efforts to remain calm. He couldn’t do anything about it now. Nothing was going to happen to him. It was late and the house was full of people. So even if Lou could get in early, he wouldn’t be able to do anything with Justin and Chris in the room.

Instead of calming him, it just made JC freak out even more. Both times that Lou had touched him, the guys had been around. The first time they’d been in the living room, and the last time they’d been right outside. Having people around obviously didn’t deter Lou because he found a way around it, so that meant the odds of it happening again were probably good.

JC’s heart pounded against his chest, and he took a shaky breath. Obsessing about it wasn’t doing him any good. Once again, JC let his eyes slide closed. Instead of trying to clear his mind, he tried to think about earlier that day when he and the guys had been having fun during rehearsal, laughing at their mistakes. Or even that evening when they’d gotten back and put in a movie. For a minute, he thought it’d worked, but then he heard another creak.

But there was nothing there when he opened his eyes. With a quiet moan, JC buried his head into his pillow. He needed sleep, but he couldn’t calm himself enough to get there. The five of them had stayed up later than they normally did since they didn’t have to be anywhere until four o’clock to do one final run through at the club they’d be performing at. So he’d only been asleep for a couple of hours before his nightmare had forced him awake.

That wasn’t even close to the amount that JC knew he needed. He wanted to sleep, but he couldn’t. Not while his thoughts were being consumed by Lou, the memories of what’d happened, and the fear of what could happen. But maybe lying in the bed and being in the room that held all of those horrible memories were part of it. Maybe if he lied down on the couch he’d be able to get some sleep.

JC slowly sat up, his mind made up. He wasn’t going to get any sleep where he was, so it was worth a try. The tricky thing was that he had to be very careful about it, so he wouldn’t wake anyone up and could avoid questions. But he figured if someone did wake up, he could just say he was going to the bathroom or something.

The bed creaked as JC rose from it, and he winced at the noise, it seeming louder than it was in the still house. Cautiously, he glanced over his shoulder at Justin and Chris and sighed quietly with relief when he saw they were still sleeping. He tiptoed to the doorway and hovered just inside of it, making sure that he was still in the clear. Certain that he was he stepped out into the hall.

JC tried to be as quiet as he could, which was kind of hard to do in such an old house. He had no problem getting past Joey and Lance’s room because their door was closed, surely muffling any sound that he did make. But the difficult part was getting past Lynn’s room. Her door was open, and JC knew from experience that she was a fairly light sleeper.

Slowly, he tiptoed as carefully as he could past her doorway. He winced and stopped when he stepped on a floorboard that groaned under his weight. But a quick glance into her room showed that while she’d rolled over, she was still asleep. JC took advantage of that to finish walking past her room as quickly and quietly as he could.

Once he made it into the kitchen, he sighed with deep relief. The hardest part was over. He walked into the moonlit living room and lied down on the couch. JC couldn’t believe that he’d made it without getting caught, but it was late. There was no reason for anyone else to be up.

Already, JC felt a little better. It wasn’t completely rational because he was out in the open compared to the bedroom. But that almost made the couch perfect because there was no privacy. It was a common area that everyone was in.

JC adjusted the throw pillow under his head and pulled the afghan that rested on the back of the couch over him. He froze from adjusting it when he heard footsteps coming down the hall. Silently, he cursed to himself. Had he woken up Lynn after all? JC hoped not. Hopefully it was one of the guys. Either way he was caught, but he couldn’t deal with Lynn. Not now.

The footsteps grew closer before the person appeared in the kitchen. JC nearly sighed in relief at the sight of Joey. He still hated that he’d woken someone up, but he just was thankful it wasn’t Lynn. And since Joey hadn’t noticed him yet, JC figured that maybe if he acted like he was asleep, Joey wouldn’t bother him either.

So JC closed his eyes and tried to relax. He could hear Joey’s footsteps shuffle slightly on the carpet before they stopped. JC forced himself not to move, sure that Joey was probably trying to figure out if he was sleeping or not.

“JC?” It was silent for a few seconds as Joey most likely waited for him to respond. Finally, he said, “I just heard you like two minutes ago, and I know you don’t fall asleep that fast.”

JC sighed and opened his eyes, pushing himself to a sitting position. The moonlight allowed him to see for the first time that Joey was carrying a bat. “Were you going to hit me with that?” he asked, gesturing to it.

“I heard someone walking around. I thought it was a burglar or something,” Joey said, setting the wooden object in the chair before he joined JC on the couch. There was a pause before Joey asked, “What are you doing up?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” JC said simply.

“Anxious about tomorrow?” Joey asked.

JC nodded. “Yeah.”

“Me too,” Joey admitted. They sat there for a moment before he shifted slightly, looking at JC. “You shouldn’t worry so much though. I mean, we did awesome at rehearsal. We’re ready.”

“I know.”

“The hard part’s over. We just need to get through tomorrow and put on a helluva show. Then Lou’ll take it to record companies and hopefully we’ll get signed,” Joey said.

“But what if we don’t?” JC asked.

Joey frowned, shaking his head. “We’re too talented, and Lou’s been taking good care of us. He’ll make sure that we get signed, and then we’ll probably be insanely busy recording and touring. And Lou’ll be there to make sure it all continues to go smooth.”

JC felt his stomach drop at the thought of Lou being around all the time. He had enough time with him, and Lou wasn’t even around as much as he could be. As much as he would be if they got signed and he continued to be their manager.

It would never be over. The rest of the guys had no idea what Lou was really like, so they had no reason not to trust him. If only they knew what he was capable of, they’d want to leave him. But JC didn’t want to cause problems, which meant he was doomed to how many more uncomfortable intimate moments with Lou. He didn’t know if he could handle that.

“What’s wrong?” Joey asked, his frown deepening. When JC shook his head slightly, he added, “C’mon, C. You can talk to me. If you need to get something off your chest, it’ll stay between us. I swear.”

JC bit his lip. He knew he should just try to brush it off and come up with some lie, but he was so tired. All he’d been doing for the past week and a half was lie, and he was tired of it. And here Joey was saying that he was willing to listen if JC needed to tell him something. He even swore that no one else would know but him.

This was the opportunity JC had been waiting for. He’d always wanted to tell someone what’d happened to him, and Joey seemed like the perfect person. There wouldn’t be as strong of a reaction from him as if JC’d told someone else like Chris, and Joey had already promised he’d keep it to himself. JC knew he’d said he was going to wait until after the demo, but he probably wouldn’t get another chance like this.

“I can’t…I can’t take this anymore. I can’t lie anymore,” JC said, more to himself than to Joey. “I hate the way he looks at me.”

“Whoa, hang on, JC. Slow down,” Joey said, putting a hand on his shoulder and looking him in the eye. “You hate the way who looks at you?”

“Lou,” JC said quietly.

“How does he look at you?” There was a slight pause before Joey asked, “What happened, JC?”

JC looked away from Joey and pulled the pillow into his lap. There was still time to back out of this. He didn’t have to tell Joey. Except that he did. He needed someone else to know what he’d gone through.

“He…” JC took a shaky breath and hugged the pillow closer to his body before whispering, “He hurt me.”

“Is that how you injured your shoulder? Lou did that you?” Joey asked.

“Yeah,” JC admitted quietly.

Joey shook his head and mumbled something to himself. He focused his attention back on JC. “That not all he did, is it?” he asked, warily.

“No,” JC whispered, closing his eyes against the memory. “He…he forced me onto my bed, and…he…” A shiver ran down his back, remembering how his skin had crawled. “He touched me and he…”

“Did he…rape you?”

JC lowered his head, a tear leaking out from his closed eyelids and running down his cheek. He swallowed and said barely above a whisper, “Yeah.”

“What?” Joey exclaimed, his voice much louder than the hushed tones they’d been talking in.

JC’s eyes flew open and he glanced around, panicked that someone had heard him. Joey didn’t seem concerned though. He was staring at JC in shock, as if he were trying to wrap his head around it.

“I can’t believe this,” Joey mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

JC avoided eye contact with Joey. No matter how much he wanted Joey to know, it was still embarrassing. It was something that never should’ve happened, and he didn’t want Joey to look at him differently like he was weak for letting it happen.

“When did it happen?” Joey asked softly, his voice filled with disbelief.

“Sunday,” JC said.

“Sunday?” Joey repeated, his head jutting forward. “JC, that was five days ago. Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

JC glanced at Joey briefly before looking back down at the pillow. “I was going to. After the demo.” He saw Joey frown out of the corner of his eye. “I knew if I said anything sooner, you guys would want to leave him.”

“You’re damn right we would’ve,” Joey said. He rubbed at his forehead. “Do you even want to do the demo?”

“Yes,” JC said without hesitation. He was still adamant about that. Telling Joey what’d happened wasn’t going to change that.

Joey sighed. “JC, it’s not that important. We can always find someone else to help us put together a demo.”

“No, we can’t,” JC said, meeting Joey’s eyes for the first time. “We’ve worked too hard to quit now.”

“Lou’s a bastard for what he did to you, and we can’t let him get away with it. We need to tell the police.”

JC’s eyes widened in fear as he objected. “We can’t.”

“JC—”

“Not yet. Let’s get through the demo and then we can tell everyone,” JC bargained. He figured that everyone would find out eventually, but he didn’t want to get the police involved. That was too embarrassing. He just wanted to leave Lou and forget that anything had ever happened. “Please, Joey.”

There was a look of contemplation on Joey’s face before he reluctantly agreed. “Alright. We’ll wait until after the demo.”

JC sighed, thankful, and silence fell over the two of them. He could practically feel his body shaking, and he wasn’t exactly sure why. It must’ve been from finally letting it out. They just sat there, JC knowing that Joey was probably trying to process everything.

Finally, Joey asked, “You didn’t tell Justin about this, did you?”

“God, no,” JC said, horrified at the suggestion. “I wouldn’t put that on him. He’s just a kid.”

“Well, Justin seems to think he knows what’s really going on with you. That it’s not a big deal,” Joey replied.

“He was asking questions and…” JC shook his head and whispered, “I can’t believe I lied to him.”

“It’s not a big deal, JC. He’ll understand when he knows what’s been going on,” Joey said.

JC just nodded and sniffled. Everything seemed so messed up. He’d never felt so awful about protecting Justin from something. It didn’t matter that he was doing what he thought was best; it still made him feel horrible.

“It was just that one time, right?” Joey asked a minute later, drawing his attention away from his thoughts.

“No…well, kind of…” Joey’s brow furrowed in confusion, and JC took another shaky breath. “He…raped me once, but there was also…other stuff.”

Joey inhaled, looking a little more surprised than he probably should have. He turned so he was facing JC better. “What happened? I want to know everything.”

JC could feel tears building in his eyes. The last thing he wanted to do was relive all of the horrible things he’d gone through, but he owed it to Joey. If he was going to mess up their careers, then he owed it to them to be truthful. So JC slowly began to recount what’d happened to him over the past week and a half.