I'm excited to be going back, but dreading it at the same time. I wouldn't be returning if it weren't for my dad's incessant begging. And Josh.

I have accepted the fact that he and Kelsey are getting married next week, but even after all this time I still love him just as much as when I left. I don't know how he's going to react when he sees me.

Hell, I don't even know how I'm going to react to seeing him. I'm scared to death but I'm happy at the same time. He doesn't even know I'm coming. I can only hope he is happy to see me.

Justin is having a party tomorrow night for the happy couple. He begged me to come and who am I to tell the Timberlake pout no? He said he wouldn't tell Josh I was coming if I didn't want him to, and for some reason I don't want him knowing.

I hate long road trips. They give you so much time to think about the things you don't want to deal with. But I can't keep running. It's time for me to go home and its time....

Time to face Josh.

I shake any past thoughts of Josh and me out of my mind and focus on the road. Only another hour or so and I'll be home. I can't wait to see everyone again. Really, what had I been thinking when I just up and left? I know what I was thinking.

I had to get the hell away from Josh and Kelsey before I did something I would regret.

But I'm not dwelling on the past anymore. I have moved on as I'm sure they have. Oh look! The sign to the Keys. Welcome home Meghan.

- - -

"There's my sexy Meggy." Turning around, I see Justin standing at the doorway, a huge grin on his face.

"And there's my annoying, lopsided grinning Justin."

"Shut up and come here, girl!" I immediately run to Justin and wrap my arms around his large frame. One year later and he is still working out. Of course, he does need to keep his image up for the millions of screaming pre-pubescent fans he has. "Mm, I've missed you, Meggy. You're not allowed to leave me anymore, you understand me?"

I laugh and let go of him. "Trust me Justin, I'm not going anywhere for a long time."

"Good. Now come on and help me set up the backyard. My mom is driving me nuts with the lawn furniture and where the Dj should go." I went in the backyard with him and went through all of those hello's and I missed you's with everyone who was already there. I always hated being the center of attention. Hopefully it all stops when Josh and Kelsey get here, well it should either way. All the guests should be here before then.

Justin an I are setting up a couple more tables for the food to go on when the caterer gets here and we were talking comfortably until he had to bring it up. It should be easy to talk about; especially since he had known my true feelings for Josh almost as long as I had, but it was still a little...I don't know. Weird I guess.

"So why did you leave? I mean, I know why, but why?"

"Wow Justin, that makes a load of sense."

"You know what I mean. I know you left because you needed to get away from everything, mainly JC. But why all the way to Great Falls for an entire year? You didn't even tell anyone where you were staying exactly so I couldn't even stop by when I was in Montana for the tour. I had been hoping you would have come to the venue to see me but no such luck."

"It killed me to leave and not think about any of you for a year, but I had to do it. And it helped. My head is clear and one thing isn't constantly plaguing me. And I wanted to go to your show; I mean how could anyone pass up a future sex/love show? But I was still scared. Of what I don't know, but I'm fine now. And I'm not going anywhere."

"You promise?" I look into his blue eyes and I can't help but to feel guilty. He had been such a great friend to me and I left him too when I left everything else behind. I feel like the most selfish person on the planet. But I did need to think about myself first. I would have completely lost my mind if I hadn't gotten away for a while.

"I promise, Justin."

"Good."

"So uh, when are they supposed to get here anyway?" I can feel the inquisitive stare he gives me and I can just picture the look on his face with his right eyebrow raised slightly.

"I told him four, but with JC that means about six."

I can't help but to laugh at that. Josh always did seem to be late to family and friend gatherings. Even when they were for him.

As more people begin to pile in the backyard near the pool, I somehow end up in my bathing suit with Justin's little brothers trying to throw me in. Luckily I'm still a little bigger than them. I'm not strong by any means, but I can hold my own against those two. Unfortunately though, as soon as Justin comes over, my battle has been lost. He picks me up with ease, and even though I'm screaming for him to put me down, he still tosses me into the pool before jumping in himself. I play a quick dunking game with Justin before deciding to swim away and get out. I don't make it that far before Justin's arms are around my abdomen and he is lifting me up off the ground once again. I start screaming for one of the other guys there to help me but then my eyes land on the familiar blue eyes staring at me with complete surprise and shock. My movements completely stop, and apparently that's not enough fun for Justin because he puts me down and looks at me to see if I'm alright. He notices my eyes directed at only one thing in the entire backyard and he quickly backs away like a wolf has just come back to claim what is rightfully his.

He begins to walk towards me and I find myself doing the same. My breath is caught in my throat and I can't seem to do anything about it until we're close enough to touch one another. A smile slowly erupts onto my face as his name leaks through my parted lips with my breath finally being released from its hold. "Josh."

Not caring about the wetness of my skin and suit, he reaches for me and pulls me to him. No matter how I fight it, the tears slowly slide down my cheeks and I close my eyes. How is it possible to miss someone so badly and not even realize it until you finally see them face to face once again?

"I was beginning to think I'd never see you again." I feel his warm breath on my ear and it awakens something that I had buried so deeply I didn't think it would be this easy for it to be brought back up. But it's Josh we're talking about here. I can feel every part of him as he pulls me flush up against his body tighter as though he'd never get to hold me again.

"I told you I'd always come back to you." I can feel everyone's eyes on us but I just don't care. It's been an entire year since I've seen him or even spoken to him. I needed this more than I could have ever imagined.

He finally releases me of his hold and I can feel the disappointment seep into me but I swallow it back down. He takes my hands and his eyes never leave mine. "You're really here."

"I'm really here." I nod. "For good."

"Good." He finally smiles and I feel my heart skip a beat. I missed him so much. Everything about him. His smell, his smile, his beautiful blue eyes, the way he held me. How could I have ever left him and made myself believe I didn't need him? I need him more than anything else on this planet.

- - -

Something's off.

I'm not quite sure what it is but something just doesn't feel the same. It could be just because of my long absence, but I don't think that's it. I've been in Josh's company for about three hours now, and I have to say that I'm feeling a pretty good buzz right now, but it feels like he's already hiding something from me. No, I won't do this anymore. I'm through with making something out of nothing.

Oh, look at that. My drink is gone already, guess it's time for another one. I get up to go over to the bar Justin has on his patio and I can feel someone follow me. Sure enough it's Josh.

"Are you gonna be able to drive home tonight?"

"I'm only slightly buzzing and my dad doesn't live that far from here. Surely you remember."

"Yeah, I do."

I take a deep breath and turn around, leaning back on the bar. I take a rather large drink from my glass and nod towards Kelsey. "You two still look like you're going strong." I look over to Josh and notice he's watching Kelsey with a strange look on his face. I try not to read anything into it, but it's difficult. "I'm happy you're starting your family."

"Me too." He said it so absent mindedly, I can't help but to wonder what's going on in that beautiful mind of his. There I go again. I need to stop this. "Are you happy you're back?"

I can't stop the smile from forming on my lips. "I am. A year was really a long time to be gone from everyone I love, but I needed to do it."

"I missed you, you know. Everyone did." I look at Josh and I can feel the old feelings I had for him rising once again. Will they ever go away fully?

"I missed you too." I just can't draw my eyes away from his and suddenly I'm taken back to his birthday last year. The feel of his soft lips upon my own, it's enough to make any girl weak in the knees. And I can't help but to want to feel them again, but for longer. A real kiss like we shared the night of his prom, along with so much more. I know he doesn't feel the same for me, but that night we shared so much passion, fire...dare I say love? I wasn't sex, it wasn't fucking. We made love, and it killed me to see him so distraught the next morning over something that meant the world to me.

I wish he weren't getting married in seven days. I wish I could tell him I still love him more than ever and that being away from him for so long just about killed me. Sure I tell everyone that I'm fine and I walk around with a pretty face on, but I'm really still just as black and blue as I was when I left. I mean really, what's the point in telling everybody I'm still not over him?

I wish this were all make believe.

There were so many nights I laid awake in my bed just praying for the sky to open up and wash away his memory, but it never did. My head is pounding, maybe I should stop drinking. Yeah. I'm going to stop drinking and go home before I do something I regret once again.

"I think I'm gonna head on home."

"You sure? You can drive alright?"

"I'll be fine Josh. You shouldn't worry so much."

"I can't help it. Come on, I'll walk you to your car."

"Ok." I go over to everyone and say my goodbyes and give hugs before allowed Josh to lead me through the house and out to the large driveway. I hug Josh once again and tell him goodnight before turning and opening my car door.

"Megs." He calls to me and I turn around to see him standing directly behind me. The heat radiating off his skin and hitting mine makes images of times past run through my memory. "Meet me tomorrow night."

My eyes leave his momentarily before meeting them once again. "Where?"

A smile curves his lips and I know what he is about to say. "You know where. Eight O'clock."

"Alright." He walks back a few steps before turning and heading back into the house.

This is going to be one interesting week.

- - -

She's back.

Words can't express how happy I am. Seeing her at Justin's last night felt great. I tried, but I just couldn't keep my emotions at bay when my eyes first landed on her. She was soaking wet from the pool but I didn't care. I had to have her in my arms. I had to touch her, make sure she was really there.

She was.

She said that she'd back for good and I really hope she is. She was gone for an entire year and it killed me. She had changed her phone number so I couldn't even call her and hear her voice. I assumed it was something I had done to make her want to leave so badly, but apparently she wasn't keeping in touch with anyone except her father. That made me feel a little better, but I still accepted the face that I am getting married in less that a week and Megs and I just aren't meant to be more than friends.

I do love her and I know I always will, but I can't make her love me the same way in return. So I moved on and I am going to marry Kelsey on Saturday. I know that in the end it really is the best decision. I just wish I didn't feel so lousy about it.

Any way, I'm meeting Megs tonight at "our" spot. I told her eight because I want to watch the sunset with her once again. It's been three hundred and seventy-three days since I had the chance to watch it with her. It'll be just like old times...between two friends, nothing more. Why do I have to keep telling myself that?

Because I know that I am weak when it comes to Megs. If she made even one move on me tonight I might not be able to say no. I know it's wrong when I have a fiancé who will be my wife Saturday afternoon. But when you have wanted something so badly for this long it kind of comes first whether you mean for it to or not.

There she is. She's so beautiful leaning against the palm tree in her black and red corset top and dark jean skirt. Her carefree face with the wind blowing her hair lightly around it against the colorful sky looked like something straight out of a priceless work of art. Absolutely breathtaking.

I don't know if she noticed me or not, but I walk over to her and lean my hand against the side of the tree, my eyes watching the lowering sun as it painted the sky in pinks and oranges.

"I missed this." Her soft voice brought me out of my thoughts and I looked at her face still poised straight ahead. "There's nothing like the Florida Key's sunset. It's so beautiful."

"Yes, it is." I say, not even looking away from her face. I'm not lying, the sunset is beautiful, but Megs makes it even more stunning. She makes everything better.

"Come on, let's walk." I take her hand in mine and together we walk down the beach admiring the scenery and just talking about old times and what we had been up to while she was away. I want to ask her, but I'm afraid to. I know she'll just dodge the question and I can't force her to tell me anything, she'll tell me in her own time I'm sure so I just swallow the question back down and move on to another topic. A safe topic.

"Megs, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, Josh. Ask away." She hugs my arm tighter as we keep walking.

"Do you ever think of that night thirteen years ago? You know, my prom?" Yeah, not a safe question. I can feel her starting to pull away and I already regret asking, but she doesn't pull fully away. I can tell she's debating on whether she should answer or not. I hope she does answer truthfully, then maybe it will give me some sort of clue as to how she truly feels about me.

"Yeah I think about it all the time actually. Why do you ask?"

Wow, she answered truthfully. I'm glad. Her answer gives me a bit of hope for what the future might hold for us. "I'm not sure. I was just thinking about it the other day and I couldn't shake the memory. I am still happy you were the one I got to share it with. I only wish I could have gone to yours with you."

"I really did want you to be the one I shared it with but unfortunately you were on tour, so I went solo."

"I still can't believe you went stag. So many guys in your high school would have gladly taken you."

"I know but I didn't want to go with anyone if I couldn't go with you." I saw her blush and I couldn't help the smile from coming out. Maybe, just maybe there are some feelings there after all. Is it possible I had misread her reaction that next morning all those years ago? That would suck.

We finally pick a spot on the sand and sit down to watch the rest of the sunset. Megs sat in front of me between my legs and leaned back onto my chest. This is how it should be, always. She's only been back three days now, but it seems like she never left. I still love her more than anything and all these little things she does, without even realizing, drives me insane. Why can't she just love me back the way I love her?

"Do you regret that night?" I hear her say something so softly that I miss it.

"What was that?"

She shakes her head and leans back on me once again. "Nothing, nevermind."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Let's just watch the sunset."

"Ok." I may seem as though I'm watching but I'm not. I can't concentrate on anything except her smell, the feel of her body on mine, her soft voice echoing through my ears. What I wouldn't give to have her be mine. I wish I wasn't getting married on Saturday. Or at least that I could just tell her my feelings and not be afraid of what her reaction might be. It could ruin us forever and I know I wouldn't be able to live with that.

"You know what I could go for right now?" Her voice brought me out of my trance.

"What's that?"

"One of your homemade triple chocolate fudge sundaes."

"Yeah, you're right that does sound good. Want to come over and make a couple?"

She faltered for a moment before looking back at me. "I don't want to disturb Kelsey. She already doesn't like me."

"She likes you just fine. She asked you to be in the wedding, remember?"

"How could I forget? But I think that was more for a keep your enemies close type thing. She doesn't trust me with you. She's jealous of how close we are."

"I know, but I don't care. But anyway, you don't have to worry about her. She's staying with her mom all week."

"Oh. Well in that case, I would love one of your huge sundaes and possibly one of your delicious mixed drinks."

"What, is it your mission to get drunk every night your first week back or something?" I nudge her playfully and she lets out a small laugh. How is it possible that even her laugh drives me crazy?

"No, just catching up on time lost for casual drinking with my best friend." She stood up and took my hand to help me up. I gladly accepted and threw a lazy arm over her shoulders and we backtracked to where our cars were parked.

"Alright, I'll meet you at my house. I'm just gonna stop at the store and pick up some stuff."

"Do you want me to get anything? It was my idea."

"Nope, it's my treat. Just get your butt to my house. Still have the key?"

"Of course." Her smile is so infectious! It's incredibly difficult to look at her and not find yourself smiling. She blew me a kiss before getting into her SUV and driving off. Shaking myself out of my daze, I got into my jeep and headed down the road to Winn-Dixie to pick up the stuff for the sundaes. I already have all the alcohol I'll need. Kelsey likes to keep a private stock in the bar incase we get any surprise guests. And I'm not complaining. Getting an alcohol break from Kelsey is welcomed and sometimes needed.

After getting everything I needed, I head back to the house and begin making our sundaes. Megs was happy with just plain beer so I didn't need to worry about making her the fancy mixed fruity drinks. Besides, I know that in an hour she's going to go hunting for some Black Velvet which I always keep in the house just for her. It's her favorite whiskey.

"So tell me, what was your reaction to finding out about Lance?"

"Oh man. See he told me in person so I was fine with it. Unlike Justin who found out from the magazines. But yeah, I kind of knew for a while. He just gave off that vibe."

"I know! Do you remember, like three years ago we were just talking about him and how we wouldn't be at all surprised if he turned out gay? It is still kind of weird though. Poor Joe, walking in on him and his ‘friend'. Wish I could have been there to see his face." She keeps laughing as she takes a swig of her beer and I find myself laughing along with her. It's not funny about Lance, just ironic. "That sundae was so good." Megs takes both of our bowls to the sink and just as I had presumed, she begins searching the cupboards for the Black Velvet. "Alright, Josh. I know you have some. Where is it?"

Standing up, I head out into the den where I have a hidden drawer. I pull out a bottle and take it into the kitchen where Megs immediately pours us each a shot. Holding it up, she makes a toast. "To coming home. It's everything I hoped it would be, and more."

"To coming home." I touch my shot glass with hers before downing it, only wincing slightly.

I take her hand and lead her into the living room where I turn on the radio. A slow steady beat fills the room and Megs puts both her hands in mine, leading me away from the couch where I had been ready to take a seat.

"Dance with me." The sound of her whisper and the sight of her large brown eyes was enough to make even the strongest man fall. She is amazing in every way.

In front of the fireplace that was now glowing perfectly in the darkened room, she places her left arm around my neck and I take her right hand in my own before beginning to sway to the music. She rests her forehead on my shoulder and I let go of her hand and run it along her bare arm while my other hand remains on her back, playing with her long hair that cascaded down her back. A smile comes to my face as I feel the goosebumps begin to surface on her skin in reaction to my touch. Her hand plays with the hair at the base of my neck and I can feel the chills course through me. She feels something for me, she just has to.

What am I doing? How can I possibly marry a woman who isn't Megs? She's perfect in every way, even her faults make me love her more. Just give me one sign, Megs. One sign to show me you feel anything for me and the wedding is off.

"I love dancing with you." Her soft voice breaks me out of my thoughts. "How could I have ever left? What was I thinking?"

I stop our movements and look into her sad eyes. "Why did you leave me a year ago, Megs?"

"I didn't leave you, I left Florida. And I told you I'd be back."

"That doesn't answer my question, Megs."

"Josh, I just needed to get away. I needed to figure some things out for myself, and I did. Now I'm not going anywhere for a long, long time, if ever." That's a little more detail than she has given me so far so I guess I should just accept it. I can't push her, she'll come to me and tell me when she's ready to. So I'll just drop the subject...for now.

"Come on, let's do another shot." I let her pull me into the kitchen where we take another shot of Black Velvet and, then another, and two more after that. I think it's safe to say that I'm on the road to intoxication. Hell, who am I kidding? I'm already past it. I'm pretty sure Megs is feeling pretty damn good too right now.

Now, I don't know whose idea it had been, but we're playing slapjack now. We haven't played in a long time. It felt good to just hang out and get drunk with my best friend in the whole world again. She's so adorable when she hits the jack first. She gets so excited and starts screaming and jumping up and down. How could anyone not love her?

Aha! I finally got one!

"You're such a cheater Josh!"

"How am I a cheater? Because I beat you to it?"

"You slapped my hand out of the way."

"What? I did not! You're the one who is cheating!"

"Just because I'm faster than you at this is no reason to cheat."

"I didn't cheat." How dare she accuse me of cheating?

"Cheater." A smile forms on her face and I try to suppress my own.

"Call me a cheater one more time. Go ahead." I lean forward with my elbows on my knees, my eyes just as challenging as my words. "I dare you."

A sly grin slowly formed on her calm face and she stands up but leans down so her mouth is right beside my ear.

"Cheater." Before I have the chance to grab her, she is running out of the room and up the stairs. I chase after her in the spare bedroom where she has stayed many times. Actually she tended to sneak in with me in the middle of the night most of the time but still, you get my point. Anyway, I grab her arm and pull her to me, she turns so fast that she crashes into my chest and she can't help but to giggle in her drunken state. Her gaze meets mine and my smile falters. I can feel the warmth of her skin through her top and her warm breath on my neck. Her eyes are searching mine...but for what? Permission perhaps? She doesn't need it. I can feel her body move towards mine slightly and every sense in me awakens. Her hand snakes up my black wife-beater clad chest and around my neck before she slowly moves her head upward. I feel her lips on my own and my arms automatically encircle her waist to pull her closer. I can feel Megs' hand on the back of my head urging me to deepen the kiss and I am more than willing to oblige. I snake my tongue along her bottom lip and I hear her moan softly as she allows it entry and arches her back, her chest pushing into me.

I know I should stop this. I should pull away and tell her goodnight. But I cannot. I'm getting married in six days and this right here is what I've longed for for thirteen years now. And the way Meg is urging me on tells me she feels the same.

My hands make their way to the hem of her shirt and I pull upward, removing the piece of clothing and throwing it off in the room somewhere. Before I catch her lips with my own once again, Megs removes my shirt so it's skin on skin. I can feel the heat radiating off her onto me and I'm sure she can feel my excitement, but it only makes her hungry for more.

Wrong.

This is so wrong, but I can't help it. I love her, I want her. And I am going to have her, tonight. Right here in this room, regardless of the repercussions. Even if tonight never happens again and it proves to be one night of passion from all of the alcohol, I don't care. This night will stay with me forever.

I pick Megs up off the floor and place her on the large bed. She somehow gets me out of my jeans and boxers and I get her out of her shorts and lace panties. It's so adorable how she blushes when I look at her and tell her how beautiful she is. I just want to burn the image of her naked on the bed into my memory in case I don't get this chance again.

Megs flips me over so she is in control and we continue to show one another a night we won't soon forget.

- - -

Ugh. It's morning already? I feel like I just went to sleep. How much did I have to drink last night? My head is pounding so loudly it feels like there's a drummer in there. Wait...that's not my head I hear thumping although it does hurt. That is the thumping of a heart, a heart thumping inside of the chest my head is on.

What happened last night? I remember watching the sunset at the beach, drinking, dancing and playing slapjack.

With Josh.

Oh God.

What have I done? Again? I slightly move my head up so I can put a face with the bare chest I already know belongs to Josh. How could I be so stupid?

Trying not to wake him, I slowly and carefully free my body from Josh's and the tangled sheet. I manage to get out of the bed without disturbing him so I go around the room quickly and quietly trying to find my discarded clothing. Tank top, bra, skirt...Shit! Where are my panties? Screw it. I have to get out of here before he wakes up. I don't think I could take a repeat of last time's morning after.

How could I have let this happen again?

I dress as I run downstairs and pray that Kelsey hasn't come home yet this morning. I have no clue what I'd do or say if she saw me leaving her fiancé's house getting dressed. Luckily though she hasn't come home. I quietly open and shut the front door after locating my purse and shoes and run to my car. After casting one last look to the house, I start up the SUV and head home, only one thought floating through my mind.

What have I done?

It's only seven in the morning so I sneak into my daddy's house and quietly shut the front door behind me. Why does everything sound so damn loud when you're trying not to make any noise at all? Why am I even sneaking in? It's not like I'm a little kid. It's my life and I can stay out all night if I want to with Josh...ugh if only he weren't engaged. Then I wouldn't feel so guilty and ashamed. I need a shower...a really hot shower to wash away the dirtiness I feel. I am a whore.

"Just getting in?" Startled, I whip around and see my dad at the top of the stairs staring at me.

"Hi Daddy."

"Good morning." He starts descending the stairs and I feel like a scared sixteen year old again getting caught doing something horribly wrong. Hell, I am caught. "Meghan, honey you're twenty-nine years old now and I can't tell you what to do. But until you find an apartment, I would like it if you got in at a decent hour."

"I know Daddy. I'm sorry."

"It's alright. Why don't you go up and take a shower, clean yourself up, and I'll make us some breakfast." I don't think I could eat right now.

"Ok." I start to head up the stairs and daddy heads to the kitchen, but he stops and turns his head to look at me.

"Meghan, what you do is your own business, but be careful. I know how you've felt about him since Benny brought him home to meet everyone, but that doesn't change the fact that he is getting married on Saturday."

"I know Daddy. Trust me, I couldn't forget it." He nods as I run up the stairs before he sees the tears making their way down my cheeks once again. How many times am I going to cry over the man it's so obvious I just can't have?

I go upstairs and took a long, hot shower. When I got out I felt a little bit better but not at all better about the situation I have caused between Josh and I. I dress and go back downstairs to see what daddy has cooked up for breakfast.

"Just in time. We have eggs, bacon, toast and hash browns."

I sit down and pour us both a glass of orange juice. "Smells delicious, Daddy."

"I do have to agree with you there, Meghan." He laughs and brings two plates to the kitchen table, and just as I suspected, the smells weren't deceiving. Daddy always was the greatest cook.

We begin to eat in silence and as the minutes tick by, I can feel his eyes on me. "What Daddy?"

"Nothing." He shakes his head, begins to fork a piece of egg and then drops his fork, looking at me once again. "I just can't figure out how he never saw what was right in front of his eyes all these years."

Ha! I have no clue either, Daddy. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"How did you know Momma was the one for you? I mean, what was the defining factor?"

"A lot of things really. But you want to know the moment I fell in love with her? When I decided I had to be with her?" I nod as I chew on a piece of toast. "The moment I looked into her beautiful green eyes. She was working at the public library and she was leaving with a bunch of books and neither of us was watching where we were going. I bumped into her and she dropped all of her books and I helped her pick them up. The moment I looked into her smiling eyes, I was gone. I never believed in love at first sight until I met Tess. We dated for a few weeks and decided we wanted to be together. She broke up with her jock of a boyfriend and I broke up with my fiancé."

"You were engaged when you guys met?" Everything in me screamed hypocrite but then I realized, he never lectured me about Josh. He just told me to be careful.

"I was. Meghan, I know you feel like you're betraying your brother by acting on your feelings for Josh, but life is too short to be afraid to take risks. I know Josh loves you, he's just as scared as you, especially since he's this far in with Kelsey. You can't be afraid of your feelings. When your mother died I was scared to death to let any sort of feelings show for anyone else, but I know she's happy I didn't dwell on it for the rest of my life. And I know Benny would be proud of you too." I can see the tears in his eyes and I know the death of Momma and Benny still hurts him, it still hurts me too.

Maybe he's right. No, he is right. I need to tell Josh.

Before Saturday.

- - -

Here I sit on my bed staring off into space. I let five days go by and still haven't told him. Now it's too late. Josh gets married in three hours and I'll have lost my chance forever. But this is how it's supposed to be, I've decided. Josh and I just aren't destined to be together.

There's a slight knock on my door and Daddy walks in, but I continue to star blankly ahead.

"Are you ready to go?"

"No." I manage to say. "I don't think I can sit through the wedding." A tear slowly slides down my cheek and I don't even bother to wipe it away. What's the point when you know it's just going to be followed by more?

"You still have time, you know."

"No I don't. I waited too long and now it's too late. He's going to marry Kelsey, and things will be just as they are supposed to."

I see him nod and he turns to leave. "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, Meghan. I'll see you later." He's out the door and I let the tears fall freely. I need to stop this. It's over. Yes, Josh and I slept together five nights ago, yes he tried to get in touch with me, and yes I had plenty of opportunities to tell him my true feelings, but every time I became too afraid and ran away, just like I did a year ago. I'm sick of running. I need to face the truth.

I have no idea how long I had been up in my bedroom, but the next thing I know, Justin is here and I can see the anger in his eyes. Why is he so angry with me? It's not his life. Why can't he just leave me alone?

"Why aren't you going to the wedding?"

"What's the point?" I stand up and face him, crossing my arms. "Are you here just to convince me I should go or are you here to convince me to go and tell him everything that I can't?"

Justin sighs and shakes his head, looking way from me briefly. "You've both been trying to convince yourselves that the other one doesn't feel the same for the past fifteen years because you're terrified that they actually do."

"And just what is it that terrifies us so badly?"

"Getting what it is you've wanted for so long. You are afraid that you'd be betraying a brother and he feels like he's betraying a best friend. But I know that if Benny were still alive, you'd get his blessing. He loved you Meghan, he wanted you to be happy and I know he still does."

I shake my head in disbelief. If Josh has felt the same for me he would have told me a long time ago. I know he would have.

"You're in love with him and he's in love with you but he is getting married in less than two hours unless you do something about it!"

"What can I do Justin? Please, tell me!"

"You can go over there with me and tell him that you're not letting him get married. You can tell him everything, every feeling you have held inside of you for the past fifteen years. You can show him that no other woman could ever feel the things or know the things about him that you do. Show him that he is the only way for you."

"I can't Justin." I hate how my voice is so weak and trembling. I hate how every time Josh comes up I find myself crying. And I hate most of all that I just can't tell Josh that I love him with every fiber of my being. "He wouldn't have proposed to Kelsey if he loved me. He would have told me a long time ago."

"Meghan, you're focusing on the past instead of the here and now. You think just because of something he said thirteen years ago after you slept together means that he didn't and still doesn't want you to be the one he spends his life with. He slept with you again this week, knowing he was getting married today. If that doesn't tell you something I don't know what to do."

"We were drunk, Justin. It didn't mean anything."

"It meant everything, and you know that. Stop being so scared, and for once take a chance and tell the man you love how you feel. Or you'll have lost your chance forever."

I shake my head and look at Justin. "I can't Justin."

"You know what? Fine. I'm done here." He turns around and walks out of the house and I know he is just dying to shake me until I agree to stop the wedding, but I just can't. If Josh turns me down again it would crush me. But what if he does feel the same? And I am just walking out on the only chance at happiness I have?

No. If he felt the same I would know. It's as simple as that. But then again, nothing is ever that simple is it?

Running down the stairs, I grab my purse on the end table and run out to my car.

I hope it's not too late.

- - -

I can feel myself trembling as I lift my hand to knock on the door in front of me. Once I walk in there, there's no turning back. But that's what I want and it is certainly what I need. I hear the soft ‘come in' and with my hand on the knob, I slowly turn it and push the door open to reveal the absolutely gorgeous tuxedo clad Josh. I can feel my heart make the leap into my throat when he turns to see who entered the dressing room. Surprise is written all over his face when he sees it's me. I shut the door behind me and my eyes never leave his.

"Megs?" I can hear relief and confusion in his soft, yet sexy voice and it makes me quiver.

"Hi, Josh." He is trying to find the words to say to me, I know he is. He wasn't expecting me to show up today, neither was I.

"I've been trying to get a hold of you the past few days. Where have you been?"

"I know you have, Josh. I just...I was afraid to see you."

"Why?" I knew he didn't think anything of that night we shared together. It was just another drunken memory to him when it meant to the world to me. I should just go. It was a mistake to come here. I should just turn and walk out, not tell him anything. But I can't. He had been slowly walking towards me and now he stood mere inches from me and I could smell his cologne, I could feel his warmth and all I wanted was to hold and kiss him. But I can't, I need to tell him why I came, why I've been afraid to see him. "Why did you leave me again?"

"I couldn't handle you rejecting me again. I was so afraid you would wake up and tell me how much of a mistake it had been. It killed me to hear you say those things thirteen years ago and I just couldn't listen to it again." I stop and take a calming breath, but it's not calming at all. Why do I always react this way to him? Why can't I keep my emotions at bay? "I wasn't going to come today."

"Then why did you?"

"Justin and my dad. They made me realize that life it too short to not take risks."

"And what makes this a risk?"
I stare into his penetrating blue eyes and I just can't stop myself from leaning towards him and planting my lips on his. I wrap my arms around his neck and he pulls me closer to him. Why did he have to be getting married in an hour?

I slowly pull away from the kiss and lean my forehead against his, never opening my eyes I tell him what has been haunting me for fifteen years now. "I have been in love with you for fifteen years, Josh. And I couldn't watch you marry a woman who isn't me."

I feel him pull away from me and I'm afraid I've lost him, but he lifts my chin with his finger so I am looking directly into his eyes. "I have been waiting to hear you say that for just as long."

"Really?" My eyes search his for any sort of sign that he might be lying, but I find none. He is sincere and I suddenly want to kick myself for not taking this chance long ago.

A smile curves his beautiful lips and his forehead is back against mine. "The wedding is off."

"What?"

"I called off the wedding a few hours ago. I couldn't marry Kelsey. Yes, she's a great woman and all, but she's no you. You are the one I want to spend my days with, forever and always."

"Good. Because you are the only one for me." He envelopes me in a hug and for once, I am truly happy.

His mouth is next to my ear and he whispers to me. "Welcome home, Megs."

And he's right. This is the only place that ever felt like home to me. Right here in his arms.