“fucking shit’ I whispered. Shit. I sunk to the bathroom floor. I stared at the pill box. There was no more. How could I have done this? Was I that stupid? Oh god.

****

Plan b, for irrespirable teenagers, not for a 23 year old stable girl In a relationship. The lady at the counter looked at me. She popped her gum and rang up my box. Smiling at me as if I was some kind of girl who needed this. At this moment in time I was. Me and Justin saw now use for condoms seeing as how I was on the pill and well all my friends do it and are so okay with it. I mean I freak out like all the time. Then my monthly comes and bam not so freaked out. However, I sat in sweat shorts and one of Justin’s wife beater tied back, in my car, trying not to cry again.

Im sure Justin would not mind if we had a kid, when I was married to him. Im a selfish person I was not ready to share him with anyone ever. I let the pill slip down my throat with the diet coke. Maybe I could do that whole spraying a coke bottle in your twat urban legend thing. Though I think, it would cause a yeast infection.

My phone beeped again, yet another texted form him. I left this morning while he was a sleep. Scared when I went to go pop a birth control pill and realized I was out, meaning I was going to start. Then casually remembering I should have started three days ago. I have been off the pill for three days because you start the new pack the Sunday of your period, well guess what vagina its Sunday. I sighed to myself and screamed in the car.

“Drea?’ I heard from the outside of my car. I looked at Trevor walking to me. Shit, I started my car again.

‘Dre” he shouted. I scrambled around and put the cap on my coke. His hand reached my window.

‘Go away’

‘Dre, are you okay?’ he asked. I should have rolled up my window. He saw my puffy red eyes and he looked into the car he saw my box.

“Want to go some where and talk’

“I want you to stay away form me’ I put my car in reverse and few out of the parking spot.

***

I knew Rachel was still a sleep it was only 10; 30. I entered the back house where she stayed with trace and snuck up to her room. I opened her door and say lay on her side.

“Rachel?’ I poked her.

“Hum” she said he voice was raspy from sleep and she moved over and sat up.

“Dre?” she took my view in, I was a wreck and I held the ugly purple plan b box in my hand. She pulled me to the bed and I wrapped my arms around her. This is why she was my top friend. I loved her she said nothing but let me cry.

“So while I was in there buying this, the part in Juno played threw my head, where Juno goes to the clinic and that girl is holding the sign and she says babies have fingernails” she laughed at me and hugged me tighter.

****

I could not face him, I cannot tell him. I just cannot do this. I shook my head and started to walk back to the guesthouse. I knew he was watching me I know how knows something is up. I felt guilty. I felt like a bad person, hey at lest after a few hours of being in Rachel’s my period came, but that still does not mean anything. I even made a doctor appointment. One because it should have not came that fast plan b does not make you have a period and two I needed a stronger birth control.

Rachel stood I the door way of the guest house making me turn around and walk back to Justin’s. I just wasn’t sure how I wanted this to go.

“hey Justin I could have been Prego but I so just like got a plan b and killed all ideas of everything” then him flip out on me, or him be calm about it. I don’t know. I screw up way too much.

“are you mad at me?” he asks as I walk into the house. I sighed and bit my lip. No I was made at myself.

“dre?” he watched me as I didn’t say anything but walk around practily talking to my self in my head like now.

“Andrea?” I shook my self out of my daze.

‘sorry, I just had a crazy morning” I reached from him and pulled him closer.

“did you go to get more pills” he whispers in my ear.

‘um yeah” Justin pulled away and wrapped his hands around my wrists.

“baby, you don’t have to keep it form me, im cool”

“well okay” I smiled at him slightly. So now I feel like shit more because well he’s fine about birth control and is willing to talk about it. Fuck my life.

“can we talk for a moment thought” he rubs up and down my arms. I get goose bumps and sigh.

“of course” I smile sweetly at him and pull him to the big arm chair.

“you know how you told me about getting your ticket from Trevor?” I nodded

“well, why didn’t you tell me first hand?” he did not look hurt he looked confused. I was so no good for him, I screw up his life.

“because I was scared you would freak, I guess, look Justin, im so sorry, I make a mess of things” he kissed me.

“you could never lose me” im not so sure anymore.